Schadenfreude Thread: What did they think would happen?

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Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

This seems like a good time to remind everyone about KDOC's 2013 New Year's Eve broadcast.

Here it is nicely encapsulated into a 6-1/2 minute video.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Didn't that pretty much tank his career?

lady reading the teleprompter while whoever tries to interview someone kicks rear end

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:06

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# ? May 28, 2024 16:10

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

syscall girl posted:

Love the new custom title/AV

Yeah, I've grown attached to that derpy cheetah

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:08

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Randaconda posted:

Yeah, I've grown attached to that derpy cheetah

I love how he looks perpetually offended at whatever it is you're posting.
:randno:

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:17

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Kurieg posted:

I love how he looks perpetually offended at whatever it is you're posting.

Right? He's so appalled. :kiddo:

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:28

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

Hot on the heels of things in asses, it's https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-horrible-things-did-we-do-to-our-penises-last-year-1821430697 :nws:

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:39

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

gschmidl posted:

Hot on the heels of things in asses, it's https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-horrible-things-did-we-do-to-our-penises-last-year-1821430697

*reads url*

you know what

I'm good

Thanks, but no thanks.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:45

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Randaconda posted:

Right? He's so appalled.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:46

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

gschmidl posted:

Hot on the heels of things in asses, it's https://adequateman.deadspin.com/what-horrible-things-did-we-do-to-our-penises-last-year-1821430697

lmbo these are great. quoting to skip nsfw ads

quote:

All patient descriptions taken verbatim from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission�s database of emergency room visits:

PENIS LACERATION JUMPING OVER FENCE DOING PARKOUR
PUT A RUBBER BAND AROUND PENIS AND HAD BEEN THERE FOR TWO DAYS
WIPED PENIS W/TOWEL WITH BLEACH ON IT
WAS ROLLERSKATING & ACCIDENTALLY SKATED INTO THE LEG OF TABLE & INJURED PENIS
PUT A LOLLIPOP IN HIS UNDERPANTS SO MOM WOULDN�T SEE HIM TAKE IT TO SCHOOL.- THERE WERE ANTS UNDER WRAPPER-PENIS PAIN, INSECT BITES
SWIMMING IN POOL, TRIED TO �KICK OFF� WALL, KICKED SELF IN TESTICLE
DROPPED A TEXTBOOK ON HIS LEFT TESTICLE AT SCHOOL THEN HIT IT ON A VISE DURING SHOP CLASS
PLAYING BADMINTON IN GYM CLASS WHEN HE ACCIDENTALLY HIT HIMSELF IN THE TESTICLES WITH THE RACKET
RECOVERING FROM BASKETBALL PENIS INJURY, WAS HAVING INTENSE PENETRATIVE INTERCOURSE AND NOTICED PENILE SWELLING
HIT PENIS DOING BICEP CURLS, 20LB DUMBBELLS
WAS AT THE GYM SETTING A 45 POUND WEIGHT ON A STANDING POLE & SUSTAINED A CRUSH INJURY TO THE TIP OF HIS PENIS
HEAVY PILE OF CDS FELL ON PENIS
TESTICLE PAIN AFTER WEARING TIGHT PANTS
MOVING A HEAVY FLOWER POT AND IT TIPPED OVER INTO TESTICLES
RIDING BICYCLE AND GOT A HANGER CAUGHT IN TIRE SPOKE CAUSING PENIS TO HIT INTO HANDLEBARS
STEPPED OVER A BUCKET HIT LEFT TESTICLE ON RIM OF BUCKET
PLAYING BASEBALL SLIDING INTO BASE HIT TESTICLES ON BASE
JUMPED OUT OF BED BETWEEN HIS 2 DOGS, ONE OF THEM BIT HIS PENIS
RIDING HIS HORSE WHEN HE FELL OFF AND WAS STEPPED ON BY HORSE ON PENIS
WENT INTO THE BATHROOM AT HOME DID NOT TURN THE LIGHT ON AND RAN INTO THE DOOR HITTING HIS PENIS
FELL OFF THE TOILET
HAVING SEX WITH HIS GIRLFREIND WHILE SHE WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR AND SUSTAINED A PENIS LACERATION
PENIS CAUGHT IN FOOSBALL TABLE
WAS SLIDING DOWN BOUNCY HOUSE SLIDE & WAS KICKED BY CHILD RUNNING UP
BURNS TO PENIS. PATIENT STRUCK A MATCH TO A CUP OF GASOLINE THAT EXPLODED
WAS HIT IN THE PUBIC AREA BY A GLASS VASE THAT FELL; PENIS LACERATION
PUT A PLASTIC BOTTLE ON PENIS DURING MASTURBATION AND IS STUCK
SUSTAINED GENITAL EDEMA AFTER PLACING A PIECE OF PVC PIPE ON HIS PENIS BEFORE AN ORGY SIX DAYS AGO
BLOOD FROM PENIS AFTER BEING SQUEEZED BY ELASTIC WAIST OF PANTS
WAS AT FRIEND�S HOUSE AND SOMEONE THREW A SHOE AT HIS TESTICLES
HAVING TESTICLE PAIN WALKING UP STAIRS AFTER BEING HIT WITH SOCCER BALL, STICKS, ROCKS THROWN BY FRIENDS 7 DAYS AGO
USING TOILET; PATIENT�S BROTHER SHUT THE LID DOWN ON THE PATIENT�S PENIS
RECEIVED A �WEDGIE� BY UNDERWEAR BY HIS OLDER BROTHER. PENIS PAIN
HIT IN PENIS BY COUSIN
SWINGING WATER BOTTLE, STRUCK SELF IN RIGHT TESTICLE
SHAVING PUBIC HAIR ON GROIN, PENIS, WITH ELECTRIC HAIR TRIMMER, PAIN FROM ELECTRIC SHOCK
PLACED METAL RING AROUND PENIS FOR STIMULATION. NOW UNABLE TO REMOVE. LACERATION TO PENIS WHEN USING ELECTRIC TOOL TO CUT OFF, UNSUCCESSFUL
WENT TO SIT ON A BARSTOOL AND IT FLIPPED OVER SUSTAINED A CONTUSION TO PENIS
NEW LANDLORD THOUGHT HIS APT WAS EMPTY KICKED THE DOOR DOWN STRIKING HIM IN THE TESTICLES AND FACE
OW, MY DICK AND BALLS

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:53

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/r3nARSO.gifv

# ? Jan 1, 2018 16:54

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/g8AjRPZ.gifv

# ? Jan 1, 2018 17:17

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Randaconda posted:

Right? He's so appalled.

Yeah, your av is developing the Lowtax sneer of contempt.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 18:11

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Yeah, your av is developing the Lowtax sneer of contempt.

I'm surprised Lowtax didn't shut down the forums that night.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 18:17

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/g8AjRPZ.gifv

goddamn thats a loving stupid idea

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:01

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Krankenstyle posted:

goddamn thats a loving stupid idea

Are those teeth coming out of his face?!

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:07

Popoto: Oct 21, 2012; miaow

Josef bugman posted:

Are those teeth coming out of his face?!

What does your heart tells you.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:13

Ak Gara: Jul 29, 2005; That's just the way he rolls.

I think it's lip skin?

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:26

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IOUuX4h9u8

Apparently it's just tape. He was really dedicated to not spitting it out when he got scared.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:35

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://i.imgur.com/bWetSB6.gifv

# ? Jan 1, 2018 19:56

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

chitoryu12 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IOUuX4h9u8

Apparently it's just tape. He was really dedicated to not spitting it out when he got scared.

Oh thank God.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 20:19

Mad Doctor Cthulhu: Mar 3, 2008

Yeah, at first I thought the tape was his upper lip coming apart. But then I realized in my cartoonish thinking that this would be accompanied by a LOT of blood.

Still, he probably damaged his teeth and ears at the very least. loving rear end in a top hat.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 20:39

Carthag Tuek: Oct 15, 2005; Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
sl�gt skal f�lge sl�gters gang

Internet fame tho :pwn:

# ? Jan 1, 2018 21:11

Slugnoid: Jun 23, 2006; Nap Ghost

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists > Schadenfreude Thread: RIDING HIS HORSE WHEN HE FELL OFF AND WAS STEPPED ON BY HORSE ON PENIS

# ? Jan 1, 2018 21:47

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Randaconda posted:

https://i.imgur.com/bWetSB6.gifv

This is one of the dumbest things I've seen in this thread. They wanted to trash the quad? They thought it needed a loose pallet ramp rather than just the ground? They got the one guy who can't handle steering to send it?

I'm glad I got old and just drink quietly at home with my cat now.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 22:03

fizzymercury: Aug 18, 2011

Alcohol kills more 4-wheelers than trees and surprise scrub palmettto combined. Their natural life cycle always ends in spectacular, bone-busting, fashion. It's all the humble quad knows.

It's tragic.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 22:57

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

fizzymercy posted:

Alcohol kills more 4-wheelers than trees and surprise scrub palmettto combined. Their natural life cycle always ends in spectacular, bone-busting, fashion. It's all the humble quad knows.

It's tragic.

Scrub palmetto owns.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 23:01

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jan 1, 2018 23:07

fizzymercury: Aug 18, 2011

Randaconda posted:

Scrub palmetto owns.

It owns the flesh and bones of those dumb enough blindly wander their habitat. I have a ten inch scar from those loving shortass fake palm trees.

(Also they taste good. A 4-wheeler taught me that.)

# ? Jan 1, 2018 23:15

Randaconda: Jul 3, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

fizzymercy posted:

It owns the flesh and bones of those dumb enough blindly wander their habitat. I have a ten inch scar from those loving shortass fake palm trees.

(Also they taste good. A 4-wheeler taught me that.)

Bunch of them in 'round here, too.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 23:17

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

fizzymercy posted:

It owns the flesh and bones of those dumb enough blindly wander their habitat. I have a ten inch scar from those loving shortass fake palm trees.

(Also they taste good. A 4-wheeler taught me that.)

They're like palm tree land mines. May as well have a starburst of rusty saw blades adorn your yard.

# ? Jan 1, 2018 23:53

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

fizzymercy posted:

Alcohol kills more 4-wheelers than trees and surprise scrub palmettto combined. Their natural life cycle always ends in spectacular, bone-busting, fashion. It's all the humble quad knows.

It's tragic.

Yeah but it's way more fun on a snow machine (thank you Sarah Palin http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/17/politics/todd-palin-icu-facebook-post-crash/index.html)

They even were gloves and helmets and such but :nattyburn:

# ? Jan 2, 2018 00:04

Powered Descent: Jul 13, 2008; We haven't had that spirit here since 1969.

syscall girl posted:

Yeah but it's way more fun on a snow machine (thank you Sarah Palin http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/17/politics/todd-palin-icu-facebook-post-crash/index.html)

They even were gloves and helmets and such but

On reading that article I was left with many questions, like why would you need a snow machine in Alaska, and how the hell do you "crash" one.

I finally figured out they meant snowmobile, and not a machine that makes snow (like for an artificial ski slope).

# ? Jan 2, 2018 00:16

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Powered Descent posted:

On reading that article I was left with many questions, like why would you need a snow machine in Alaska, and how the hell do you "crash" one.

I finally figured out they meant snowmobile, and not a machine that makes snow (like for an artificial ski slope).

It was a running gag in her VP run with McCain that she wasn't allowed to say Snowmobile^tm

# ? Jan 2, 2018 00:38

fizzymercury: Aug 18, 2011

Randaconda posted:

Bunch of them in 'round here, too.

*shhh* I live in the Jax/Gainesville of Texas. Half my family lives in Bradford county. I speak fluent alligator swamp.

Unrelated, but relevent: I didn't know a snowmobile and a snowmachine were the same thing. In my weird brain a snowmachine was like a fan attached to a huge snow bank? It tossed snow into the air like magic. Sarah Palin ruined everything!

fizzymercury has a new favorite as of 00:46 on Jan 2, 2018

# ? Jan 2, 2018 00:42