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zimbomonkey posted:These are getting too obvious because they're actual clickbait article titles. I find they work best for sharing with people who aren't familiar with the joke. I just shared the pit bull one with a friend who owns a pit and it went over well.
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Sep 29, 2015 06:41
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The twitter thing decided to dig up an old issue to torment me personally with https://www.theonion.com/article/last-male-heir-to-bloodline-watches-movie-alone-on-20969 Last Male Heir To Bloodline Watches Movie Alone On Laptop
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Sep 30, 2015 00:55
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Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket
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Sep 30, 2015 16:37
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Quiz: Will it be October?
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Sep 30, 2015 23:11
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My head hurts a little now.
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Oct 1, 2015 01:50
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Two minutes of my life gone and all I know is that it might be Thursday tomorrow.
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Oct 1, 2015 02:19
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New 'Anti-Abortion Pill' Kills Mother, Leaves Fetus Alive The best part is that it implies that the pill kills the woman no matter what.
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Oct 1, 2015 05:40
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This Video Will Drastically Change The Way Pitbulls Think About You
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Oct 1, 2015 09:19
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Art. Like, more so than usual.
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Oct 1, 2015 19:48
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Whelp, time to dust this one off again: ‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
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Oct 1, 2015 20:50
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Evil Mastermind posted:Whelp, time to dust this one off again: I'm not sure it's right to be getting my real news from the Onion thread.
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Oct 1, 2015 20:51
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prefect posted:I'm not sure it's right to be getting my real news from the Onion thread. I'm pretty sure these things have stopped qualifying as 'news'.
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Oct 1, 2015 23:39
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Evil Mastermind posted:Whelp, time to dust this one off again: They put out an updated version, too http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-prevent-says-only-nation-where-regularly-ha-51444
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Oct 1, 2015 23:50
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fits posted:They put out an updated version, too http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-prevent-says-only-nation-where-regularly-ha-51444 I guess this is their new plan, the same article every time, new details
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Oct 1, 2015 23:55
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:I guess this is their new plan, the same article every time, new details They should strikethrough the old details until it's more redacted than a CIA article.
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Oct 2, 2015 03:00
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Man Can’t Believe Obama Would Use Tragedy To Push Anti-Tragedy Agenda
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Oct 2, 2015 19:13
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Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'
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Oct 4, 2015 23:42
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Woman Worried Student Loans Could Prevent Her From One Day Owning Entirely Different Kind Of Crippling Debt
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Oct 5, 2015 03:50
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Report: Increase In Gun Sales To Be Most Concrete Result Of Obama’s Pro-Gun-Control Speechquote:report co-author Kyle Bieler ..... found a direct link between the estimated $58 million uptick in gun sales over the next month and Obama’s use of the phrases “common-sense legislation,” “only advanced country,” and “not enough.” 
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Oct 5, 2015 07:43
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I just had a thought. If Donald Trump becomes President, I think the Onion should announce that it's closing up shop because the satirical has fully become reality. Either that, or they pretend that he's this intelligent, kind, enlightened philosopher king, who is humble in all things, and guides the country with a velvet glove.
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Oct 5, 2015 12:32
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 SYMPATHETIC FAMINE VICTIMS
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Oct 5, 2015 17:17
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Can’t Go On Reddit At Work? This Man Checks It Out For You
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Oct 5, 2015 18:37
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Takanago posted:
I love that the Average Husband is still fat despite being a skeleton.
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Oct 5, 2015 19:39
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It's hare brained? Not hair brained? Like, you're so dumb your head is full of hair? YOu are as dumb as a rabbit? How dumb could a rabbit be?
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Oct 5, 2015 19:46
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Krinkle posted:It's hare brained? Not hair brained? Like, you're so dumb your head is full of hair? YOu are as dumb as a rabbit? How dumb could a rabbit be? Usage Note: The first recorded use of harebrained dates to 1548. The spelling hairbrained also has a long history, going back to the 1500s when hair was a variant spelling of hare. The hair variant was preserved in Scotland into the 1700s, and as a result it is impossible to tell exactly when people began writing hairbrained in the belief that the word means "having a hair-sized brain" rather than "with no more sense than a hare." While hairbrained continues to be used, the standard spelling of the word is harebrained. https://www.ahdictionary.com/word/search.html?q=harebrained
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Oct 5, 2015 19:52
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Obama Returns From Trade Summit With 5 Stout Ships Full Of Cardamom, Silk, And Indigo
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Oct 5, 2015 20:53
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Can anyone help me find the one that's about the roommate on the 2nd season of a netflix show giving cryptic hints to the guy only on season 1? I can't find it searching for spoilers, season, netflix, etc. e: Thanks! Krinkle has a new favorite as of 22:09 on Oct 5, 2015 |
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Oct 5, 2015 21:41
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Person One Season Ahead In TV Show Doling Out Counsel Like Wise Elder
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Oct 5, 2015 21:47
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I thought the original post was talking about a show where the season two character goes back in time and tries to change the course of season 1 events and it is some super complicated predestined time travel show where all these hints in season 1 now suddenly take on a whole new meaning The onion article makes a lot more sense
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Oct 5, 2015 23:09
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Evil Mastermind posted:Obama Returns From Trade Summit With 5 Stout Ships Full Of Cardamom, Silk, And Indigo Whoa, NWS that poo poo! 
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Oct 5, 2015 23:15
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Leofish posted:because the satirical has fully become reality. I came to this conclusion last year. The Interview had finally been "allowed" to play in US theaters and I saw a news video of a man in a theater waving a flag and singing the national anthem.
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Oct 6, 2015 01:41
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Kerry Downs Another Vodka Shot As The Last Of Putin’s Security Detail Passes Out I always like The Adventures of John Kerry articles.
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Oct 6, 2015 12:47
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Awwww yeaaaah. Smoove B is back, baby.
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Oct 6, 2015 17:05
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The Onion is vigilant to the threat of knife launchers.
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Oct 6, 2015 20:14
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Scientists Find Strong Link Between Male Virility, Wearing Mötley Crüe Denim Jacket
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Oct 7, 2015 05:54
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Inferior posted:Kerry Downs Another Vodka Shot As The Last Of Putin’s Security Detail Passes Out I feel like John Kerry Super Spy has been somewhat overshadowed by Diamond Joe Biden, and it's a shame because the John Kerry ones are just as good.
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Oct 7, 2015 11:49
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Take This Cognitive Behavioral Test To See If You Are A Psychopath (pic that shows up on twitter)
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Oct 7, 2015 17:29
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Ask A Jostens Class-Ring Salesman Scientists Teach Father To Communicate Emotions Using Rudimentary Hand Gestures
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Oct 7, 2015 20:42
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Ahh haha one of my old favorites. I used to love these. Do they even do ones like this anymore?
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Oct 8, 2015 05:38
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Oh my goodness. Our principal's brother-in-law was a Josten's rep. Oddly, every senior class had to buy their robes from Josten's. Sure it was just coincidence. Child’s Loose Grasp On Balloon Only Thing Between Peace And Anarchy At Restaurant
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Oct 8, 2015 05:44
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