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Antivehicular posted:See, I'll admit that I like the idea of wealthy, "aristocratic" vampires who are actually really bad with their money, because they don't bother with wealth-management strategies besides "sit on it for centuries," and who spend extravagantly and nonsensically when they have to look good for mortals... but nobody in MotU is a vampire, right? It goes down to her knees I think. It’s followed up by this:   And later: 
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Dec 7, 2019 00:03
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I remember following one of the various Fifty Shades podcasts (I think it was two women and one guy, might have been goons?) where they liked to call out the weird Britishisms that slipped into what was ostensibly a work about two Americans in the PNW. It's nice to know based on the excerpts here that James is as bad at writing British people as she is at writing American people.
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Dec 7, 2019 00:15
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chitoryu12 posted:
A "double negroni" lol what the hell.
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Dec 7, 2019 00:27
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chitoryu12 posted:Speaking of Twilight, my thread just got to the point where everyone just suddenly transforms into a psychopath. Suddenly?
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Dec 7, 2019 00:52
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:A "double negroni" lol what the hell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko866L13Mn4
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Dec 7, 2019 02:16
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I was gonna wait but gently caress it I’ll do a thread once I finish it.
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Dec 7, 2019 02:19
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AlbieQuirky posted:Ladies’ underpants come in a lot of different styles. Briefs come up to the waist, hipsters at the top of the hip, bikinis at the low hip, and so on. Okay okay, yeah. I just am a goonette, so I’ve never really considered fashion at all, certainly not in undies. I can tell you all about geeky t-shirts though.
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Dec 7, 2019 02:57
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I'm still confused about the underwear that is seen through nylons and a shapeless knee length housecoat.
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Dec 7, 2019 03:42
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 Is this a loving joke?
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Dec 7, 2019 03:58
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PJOmega posted:I'm still confused about the underwear that is seen through nylons and a shapeless knee length housecoat. I really think it's that James is imagining a bathrobe-like loungewear piece that would be made of thin fabric and potentially be revealing (I think she's going for "sheer thin nylon that can be seen through when stretched taut"), but... this woman is at work, is supposed to be modest, and hasn't been hired as a Sex Housekeeper, afaik. There's no reason she wouldn't be wearing regular clothes. I guess seeing her underwear lines through her work pants wouldn't be ~sensual~ enough?
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Dec 7, 2019 04:00
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 Every page. Every goddamn page.
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Dec 7, 2019 04:10
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Straight White Shark posted:not a ton of it, apparently I missed out on sexy porn tropes like "oh myyy, your dick is so flexible" and "wow, look at all the condoms you go through" I mean more in that porn does not resemble real-life sex even when the people making presumably have experienced it.
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Dec 7, 2019 05:37
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chitoryu12 posted:
I chose to read this as Caro becoming a romance novel character after getting out of Syrian hell prison.
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Dec 7, 2019 06:47
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Ugly In The Morning posted:I chose to read this as Caro becoming a romance novel character after getting out of Syrian hell prison. I did the same thing.
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Dec 7, 2019 07:36
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Ugly In The Morning posted:I chose to read this as Caro becoming a romance novel character after getting out of Syrian hell prison. Caroline is a different character than the sex trafficked maid love interest. I hate I even know that much
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Dec 7, 2019 09:42
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Dec 7, 2019 10:56
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Skulls can have a little sex.
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Dec 7, 2019 16:08
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mods rename me Sex-Crazed Cat Ghost tia
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Dec 7, 2019 16:51
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I'll admit to being curious as to how a ghost got so horny it saved a city
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Dec 7, 2019 19:52
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Ichabod Sexbeast posted:I'll admit to being curious as to how a ghost got so horny it saved a city "The entire city's revenue comes from the whorehouse, and if we don't reach our goal by midnight we're going to lose everything!" The amorphous spirit of Jizzworth von Moneysack appears, a hovering torso clad in a fine waistcoat and an enormous top hat, and hanging from between where his legs should be is an enormous phallus. "I HAVE COME... TO PARTAKE OF THE BOOBS!" he wails, rattling his chains and lockboxes filled with the gold he collected over his long life. "TELL THE GIRLS IT'S TIME FOR THIS NECRO TO FEEL YA!"
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Dec 7, 2019 20:02
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An invisible man Sleepin' in your bed Who ya gonna call? NUTBUSTERS!
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Dec 7, 2019 20:04
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdyU_gW6WE
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Dec 8, 2019 04:19
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Screaming Idiot posted:"The entire city's revenue comes from the whorehouse, and if we don't reach our goal by midnight we're going to lose everything!" Welp, guess I'm buying the book!
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Dec 8, 2019 10:14
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 Every time this book starts to show something deeper and more emotional below the surface, it slaps you in the face with lines like this.
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Dec 15, 2019 02:01
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her smile hit me right in the boner
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Dec 15, 2019 05:13
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her grimacing makes my taint feel weird
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Dec 15, 2019 13:08
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"No, I'm not in love with her; there's just some weird empathic bond between her emotional state and the nerves in my groin, so I can't get an erection unless she's delighted. The hedonic treadmill of our relationship is very complicated."
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Dec 15, 2019 13:14
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Ah, she’s now masturbating while repeating the word “synesthesia” to herself. Charming.
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Dec 15, 2019 16:02
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chitoryu12 posted:Ah, she’s now masturbating while repeating the word “synesthesia” to herself. Charming. don't doxx me
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Dec 15, 2019 18:16
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The book repeatedly switches between third person for the girl and first person for the guy. It leads to transitions like this:
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Dec 15, 2019 18:22
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It's like poetry, it rhymes. Also third person for the woman and first person for the man is so ridiculously on the nose re: sexism that I'd like to believe it's on purpose, even though it probably isn't. Is that a romance novel/fanfiction trope at all, or is that a James original?
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Dec 15, 2019 18:36
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As she SHIDS and FARDS, I feel myself CAMEING my PANTS. Life is good! - James Joyce
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Dec 15, 2019 19:49
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Djeser posted:It's like poetry, it rhymes. Nah it's just a lazy way to distinguish between two different perspectives in a novel without having rely on context clues or drop the personal diary style all together. You'll find it in a lot of bad writing.
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Dec 15, 2019 21:31
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It gets very jarring. I just went through a chapter that changed POV 3 times in about 10 minutes of action, with as little as one or two paragraphs between switching.
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Dec 15, 2019 21:39
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there wolf posted:Nah it's just a lazy way to distinguish between two different perspectives in a novel without having rely on context clues or drop the personal diary style all together. You'll find it in a lot of bad writing. Come to think of it, I just finished reading a bland Assassin's Creed tie-in novel that did the same thing. One character was in first person, and all the other characters were in third person. Even then it was done better; the character the audience was meant to identify with was in first person, point-of-view transitions only happened at chapter breaks, and the third person chapters were mostly from the perspective of a character meant to be intimidating and emotionless, so it made sense to put distance between them and the reader. But in this book, surely I'm not supposed to identify with the rich, lazy sexdude, right? That feels like basic romance novel stuff. I want to be swept off my feet and introduced into a new, exciting culture, I don't want to be a sleazy aristocrat hitting on my maid.
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Dec 15, 2019 23:07
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Isn't James rewriting the various Fifty Shades books from Christian Grey's perspective, just like Stephanie Meyer tried and failed to do with Twilight?
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Dec 15, 2019 23:39
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He’s written as an oversexed teenager in a lord’s body. He keeps chastising himself for it but that doesn’t make it any better for him to loudly squirm and hide his erection at every sight or thought of Alessia, no matter how benign she is at the time.there wolf posted:Isn't James rewriting the various Fifty Shades books from Christian Grey's perspective, just like Stephanie Meyer tried and failed to do with Twilight? I think she just did the one. Jenny Trout found it too disturbing to finish.
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Dec 15, 2019 23:42
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Meyer never finished the Twilight-as-told-by-Edward novel after the first part of it got leaked on the internet, though she did go on to write a gender-flipped version titled Life and Death. James has written two 50 Shades-as-told-by-Christian, though only time will tell if she'll finish out the trilogy.
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Dec 16, 2019 01:33
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Robert Pattinson read the Edward book and based his performance on it which is why he hates the character so much
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Dec 16, 2019 01:54
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Getting run over by a car because of it might've helped.
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Dec 16, 2019 01:56
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