|
Has anyone taken you up on the offer?
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 19:27
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 25, 2024 10:45 |
|
|
I'm seeing a new thread title here. It's the spiritual sequel to "Get real beefy, bitch."
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 19:49
|
|
|
remove your nuts from my bloody gooch cave
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 20:04
|
|
|
Arven posted:Lots of angry nurses ITT. Medical errors may be the #3 cause of death in the US, and almost half of which are a direct result of medication mix up or improper dosage. I hope your dads all good now but you're still a oval office
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:13
|
|
|
It seems to me that 90% of a nurses job involves cleaning up poop and bodily fluids. How the rest of the 10% came to involve pumping drugs into peoples bodies is a bit of a mystery to me. It'd be like expecting a janitor to be able to work a side job piloting a spacecraft part time, and being shocked when they crashed it or hosed it up somehow. Nurses work exceptionally hard though. But so does my landscaper. I wouldn't ask him to do my taxes or anything.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:25
|
|
|
FAGGY CLAUSE posted:It seems to me that 90% of a nurses job involves cleaning up poop and bodily fluids. How the rest of the 10% came to involve pumping drugs into peoples bodies is a bit of a mystery to me. It'd be like expecting a janitor to be able to work a side job piloting a spacecraft part time, and being shocked when they crashed it or hosed it up somehow. there's different kinds and levels of nurses
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:28
|
|
|
Shut the gently caress up about nurses... tia
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:32
|
|
|
Sjs00 posted:remove your nuts from my bloody gooch cave t a k e y o u r b a l l s o u t o f m y b l o o d y G r e e d o c a v e
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:32
|
|
|
FAGGY CLAUSE posted:It seems to me that 90% of a nurses job involves cleaning up poop and bodily fluids. How the rest of the 10% came to involve pumping drugs into peoples bodies is a bit of a mystery to me. It'd be like expecting a janitor to be able to work a side job piloting a spacecraft part time, and being shocked when they crashed it or hosed it up somehow. u r retar
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:36
|
|
|
Ah you're right. I'd edit my bad post full of wrong opinions, but I'll let it serve as a warning or example to others of what a retar looks like. Cheers  -A fag (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:44
|
|
|
Ho ho ho! Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry Pissbitch!
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:47
|
|
|
FAGGY CLAUSE posted:Ah you're right. I'd edit my bad post full of wrong opinions, but I'll let it serve as a warning or example to others of what a retar looks like. Cheers  If I ever get hold of you, you little piss bitch, I'm going to shove my balls so far up your rear end you won't poo poo right for a week.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 21:50
|
|
|
I like the positioning of the F-bomb in that Tourette's blurt "Put your loving balls in my rear end in a top hat." It makes it sound so threatening. "Put your balls in my loving rear end in a top hat" would be a more natural word choice IMHO, but the way they have it just sounds so visceral.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 22:03
|
|
|
It seems to me that therattle was probably combining that porn video of a black man shoving his testicles into a womans gaped anus, with the anal scene from bad santa. where he tells the woman that she will not poo poo right for a week.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 22:05
|
|
|
FAGGY CLAUSE posted:It seems to me that therattle was probably combining that porn video of a black man shoving his testicles into a womans gaped anus, with the anal scene from bad santa. where he tells the woman that she will not poo poo right for a week. Half right. Delighted to say I'm not familiar with the clip in question, and nor do I want to be.
|
|
#
?
Apr 25, 2017 22:59
|
|
|
Solice Kirsk posted:t a k e y o u r b a l l s o u t o f m y b l o o d y G r e e d o c a v e Bravo
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 00:18
|
|
|
Arven posted:Lots of angry nurses ITT. Medical errors may be the #3 cause of death in the US, and almost half of which are a direct result of medication mix up or improper dosage. Heart attacks also kill a lot of people, clearly we should get rid of hearts.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 09:59
|
|
|
Former homeless goon: Look into sliding scale mental health clinics. If you're on disability and in the US, you likely qualify for some absurdly cheap therapy, but you'll probably have to wait a month or so to get in. Also it sounds like part of your therapy until you got SSI was that you were working to get where you are now. A therapist would probably tell you that you need to set a goal for yourself to accomplish, whether that's weight loss or working towards being able to work or learning a new skill.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 12:22
|
|
|
quote:I'm a virgin at age 23 but I'm about to lose my virginity. I met a girl on OKC and we're hitting it off well, and she has already mentioned the spending the night this weekend. y'know there's a pretty easy out for this: tell her you're a virgin and ask to go slow Like, maybe it's not the choice involving the most dignity, but neither is being really nervous about sex with no explanation and stopping halfway through quote:My girlfriend dumped me this weekend over something really stupid, but I have to confess this because I'm sure it's for the best and wouldn't mind at least one goon saying "You're gonna be okay brotha" wasn't there a Green Lantern who had a weakness like this? how do you, like, drive past a traffic light Well, this relationship ending isn't the end of the world, but that's kind of burying the lede considering your apparent severe phobia of a fairly common color. That's no way to live. Try to get it treated.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 12:48
|
|
|
Yeah, so being a virgin at 23 isn't that bad, fyi. Have you ever done ANYTHING sexual with a girl? Also, while there are some terrible, terrible vaginas out there, there are just as many wonderful ones. Same could be said for people, really. I hope your first is with a wonderful vagina and woman. Oh, and cool it with the hentai. Definitely go through the amateur section of Pornhub to see how real, everyday, non-pornstar/non-cartoons have sex since this is your demographic.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 12:58
|
|
|
Anti green goon, you are a piece of poo poo. Green is great color.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 13:12
|
|
|
I bet you like Blue
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 13:14
|
|
|
You're not gonna be okay, brotha
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 13:16
|
|
|
That green thing sounds so stupid it has to either be fake, or something you should be institutionalized for. I mean, do you start convulsing in horror if they bring out a bowl of salad at a restaurant? What about when you see a tree?
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 13:41
|
|
|
yeah I eat rear end posted:That green thing sounds so stupid it has to either be fake, or something you should be institutionalized for. I mean, do you start convulsing in horror if they bring out a bowl of salad at a restaurant? What about when you see a tree? This is a goon we are talking about, the answer is obvious.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 13:50
|
|
|
Virgin goon needs to be honest with her. She'll appreciate the honesty and I bet it will turn her on even more knowing she's taking your V card. Also, stop with the hentai Of course this will end in tears if it turns out she's a virgin too. Either way, report back 
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:33
|
|
|
Virgin goon, yeah just let her know you're a virgin. It's nothing to be ashamed of and who knows, she may even be turned on that she gets to be the one to punch your v-card. Also, don't say "punch my v-card" to her.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:33
|
|
|
Rupert Buttermilk posted:Yeah, so being a virgin at 23 isn't that bad, fyi. Have you ever done ANYTHING sexual with a girl? Virgoon this is the correct answer. I lost my virginity at 22 because I was a weirdo when I was younger. Do not fear the vag, for it is a kind and forgiving god. Also ask the lady what she likes, its better to be honest and have fun then hide it and not have a good time.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:36
|
|
|
Former Homeless Goon You seem like a decent person who was just dealt a bad hand in life, so I'll try not to be sarcastic or mean. Let's start from the beginning: quote:... absolutely batshit crazy ... literal retardation. You said that during your time with youth services, you were seeing a therapist. I highly doubt that this person called you these things, so I have to wonder what your actual diagnosis was. There must have been one, considering they recommended disability. Obviously, you don't have to answer. I am just a faceless stranger on the internet, but I can't recall any modern psychological studies in which those terms have been applied for someone in your evidently lucid state of mind. quote:I'm not even sure what I'm on disability for You should really listen to your therapist when they speak. Sometimes they tell you things which can affect your life such as why you, an able-bodied person, can receive disability benefits. quote:... every time I tried to make 'normal' friends, they'd find out what I do for a living (nothing), or find out I was homeless and distance themselves, or start bootstrap talks and poo poo about me not really being disabled, ... Everyone has skeletons in their closet, and some people like to dig yours out in order to feel better about their own. Those people are worthless. If you can't find true friends, (i.e. those who never bring up or worry about your past), then take comfort in your own company. If you can't even do that, know that you will always have the goons. As broken and sad as we are too, you've got us. quote:Frequent and forced socialization when I was homeless was helping me get over poo poo like a pathological fear of men. I used to literally faint if I was stuck in a one on one situation with a man, but I was slowly getting better as I spent more and more time experiencing the world. But now, since I've basically lost all social contact I've regressed back to how I was before. Your fear of men is curious, but I'm more interested in how all of that progress was nullified. Is it a phobia? Did you listen to your therapist? You clearly understand that things were getting better by going out and doing things. You're clearly not happy with the miniscule allowance the government gives you, especially with having to pay 2/3rds of it in rent. Get out and do something. Make some money. Fast food, custodian, landscaper, painter. I've done it all. It doesn't even need to be a full-time job! Or you can try volunteering at a pet shelter or a thrift store or something for a while in order to get into the groove of it all.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:54
|
|
|
Also don't try and strictly follow a set list of actions from whatever you've been "studying" to prepare. It will be a lot more comfortable and natural if you just follow her lead and communicate. Sex really isn't that hard, you'll get the hang of it quickly as long as you don't overthink it and get frustrated if you licked clockwise instead of counterclockwise or whatever. Don't be disappointed either if you don't last very long. If you tell her you're a virgin she'll be expecting it. There's always round 2.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:56
|
|
|
purple death ray posted:You're not gonna be okay, brotha
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 14:58
|
|
|
Virgin goon: just remember that foreplay is really important, specially if you, ah, might be a little trigger happy since it's your first time. Being a 22yo virgin isn't that big of a deal, tbh. Have fun and make sure she does too, and all will be good. If she's not an idiot, you telling her that it's your first time and asking her to take it slow and guide you a bit is super fine and, in fact, if you listen to her you'll probably be a better laid than many other dudes. eat the puss
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:02
|
|
|
quote:I know I'm not supposed to be hitting the cervix or anything weird like that. What's a cervix? quote:And I've been practicing putting on a condom but I'm even a bit worried about that What's a condom? EDIT: quote:I know it's not just jackhammering her, for one. Heh, I know what THAT is! It's when she watches your flab fly as you punch holes into the road in front of your neighbour's house. Drive over that, Pete! You dick. Quit banging my wife. The Mighty Moltres fucked around with this message at 15:13 on Apr 26, 2017 |
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:06
|
|
|
but vaginas are gross 
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:10
|
|
|
The Schwa posted:but vaginas are gross Gotta admit, the first time I smelt one it freaked me out. Then again I was 13.
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:13
|
|
|
Being weirded out by the opposite sex's genitals seems like a relatively common characteristic of people with little or no sexual experience I don't think it's something I ever thought, but I remember both guys and girls making remarks hinting that they did when I was younger  Either way most people get over it pretty quick with experience
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:18
|
|
|
Just listen to a bunch of Missy Elliott and do everything she says
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:20
|
|
|
Definitely eat the puss, virgoon
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:21
|
|
|
Really, just follow this advice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMV-GdAeBpU
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:25
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 25, 2024 10:45 |
|
|
loquacius posted:Being weirded out by the opposite sex's genitals seems like a relatively common characteristic of people with little or no sexual experience To the extent that it would preclude them having sex? I understand losing your virginity is scary, but most women have vaginas and OP should probably let go of that pretty quickly, preferably before he tries to have sex with this woman alternatively, we all have teeth down there
|
|
#
?
Apr 26, 2017 15:30
|
|