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Heya. I'm about to start my first job search since: getting brought on as a fresh grad apprentice 9 years ago; cracking as a fresh egg a couple months ago. Any general advice on going about this? Things to be aware of? My name isn't legally changed yet (I intend to get that started soon), but I was out (and thoroughly embraced) at my job and no intention of presenting masc at any point.
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Apr 10, 2022 01:34
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First off: congrats!
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Apr 10, 2022 02:28
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It's been five years or so now, 4½ since I've been out, and still after so many years and all those years before of just torturing myself I just raise my arms and giggle and say
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Apr 17, 2022 09:17
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gently caress yeah 
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Apr 17, 2022 11:10
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Ellie Trashcakes posted:It's been five years or so now, 4½ since I've been out, and still after so many years and all those years before of just torturing myself I just raise my arms and giggle and say hell yeah
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Apr 17, 2022 11:21
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mediaphage posted:hell yeah
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Apr 17, 2022 12:34
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embrace gay joy
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Apr 17, 2022 12:41
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fuckin rad
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Apr 17, 2022 12:53
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It really is a magical feeling. Even if I'm having a bad body-image day and fighting off the temptation to barf up my lunch or it's late and I feel lonely and starved for affection, I never have to live like that ever again. I never have to look in the mirror and see a grey little stranger with sadness and defeat behind their eyes ever again. There's regret and guilt for torturing myself and hurting people I loved because I was just blindly flailing around trying to exist with this bullshit certainty that it would never be possible. I can't even put into words just how much it feels like coming back from the dead. I guess I'm rambling, but I'm having a bit of an insomnia spell and I've like had 5 hours sleep over the past couple days 🤷🏻♀️
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Apr 19, 2022 11:21
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being a trans is great and awesome and magical
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Apr 20, 2022 17:34
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Lady Radia posted:being a trans is great and awesome and magical ok can i get u to cast some spells for me tia
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Apr 20, 2022 18:20
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This checks out, I did not own a wand (no not a Hitachi) nor as many books on magical theory before coming out It's amazing how much a bad job will push you away because so far the big thing making me hesitant to leap from this place is "good insurance for trans issues" and today's meeting comes with the announcement that we're all going to have policies "re-evaluated" next month, so suddenly it seems like "get my estradiol refilled and loving bounce" is going from like a 70% to 99% Now I just have to figure out how the gently caress to apply for jobs when I'm half-transitioned legally and do not appear femme at all, it's gonna be Questions All Around at every interview
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Apr 20, 2022 18:25
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personally i'm still confused & uncertain on how far I even want to take all this the physical side of things is clear to me WRT what I am & have (or not) vs what I know I should be & have (or not), at least; but the whole social side - especially The Pronoun Question - just leaves me loving baffled trying to think about what I feel internally & want to be recognized as still, only 3 months in to having estradiol patches, and being nearly 40 years old maybe there won't be enough physical changes for the questions to even matter, so i suppose i ought to not get too wrapped up about it all (yet) Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Apr 20, 2022 |
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Apr 20, 2022 22:36
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beats the hell out of being angry and depressed for unidentifiable reasons, at least 
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Apr 20, 2022 22:39
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Ciaphas posted:still, only 3 months in to having estradiol patches, and being nearly 40 years old maybe there won't be enough physical changes for the questions to even matter, so i suppose i ought to not get too wrapped up about it all (yet) i’m not trans so take all this with a grain of salt but how you end up can really vary from person to person. i have some friends who transitioned late in life and some of the changes were really shocking to them; i think it’s probably hard to predict. there’s not really a wrong way to go and you should just do whatever you feel you need to live your best life. but how you feel now and how you feel in a couple of years may be pretty different.
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Apr 20, 2022 23:31
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A while back a friend's trans kid tried to climb off their 4th floor balcony because of how bad she was being treated outside their home. Her 9YO brother is the only reason she's still alive (he noticed and pulled her back). It, uh, made me feel things I'd rather not feel again. I'm real sorry about the way this world is treating you, pals.
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Apr 21, 2022 00:01
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Ciaphas posted:beats the hell out of being angry and depressed for unidentifiable reasons, at least hrt is magical afaict
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Apr 21, 2022 00:14
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Ciaphas posted:personally i'm still confused & uncertain on how far I even want to take all this prepare to be surprised FUCKO
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Apr 21, 2022 00:36
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frankly i'm surprised that there've been effects at all already, but i'm also trying not to hype myself up much the new uh, particular ache in my chest after i bump it on something gives me the ecstatically happy tingles (and once again that is a sentence i never expected to think or write)
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Apr 21, 2022 01:27
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enjoy! i'm almost thirty but plan on talking to my dov about hrt options and the like once my health insurance kicks in
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Apr 21, 2022 01:46
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i started less than a month before my 29th, and my face actually looks okay to me sometimes now. my body..needs work. but it is in progress!!
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Apr 21, 2022 01:50
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secretly best girl posted:
The way I figure it, the only thing to do is just to put the most You out there you can muster. And if the proceedings get to the point where they need legal name or whatever, we can talk. But otherwise, this is what I'm bringing so that's all y'all need to know. In my case I'd love to make that a moot legal point within a few months anyway. Maybe it's different when demand is not so high. I'm used to thirsty recruiters but they've been bad recently and the numbers they're throwing out are up like 50%. Bracing for when I actually update my looking status on LinkedIn 
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Apr 21, 2022 01:50
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Lady Radia posted:i started less than a month before my 29th, and my face actually looks okay to me sometimes now. i'm 28 and stupid and gay
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Apr 21, 2022 01:55
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im 29 and stupid and gay 
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Apr 21, 2022 01:57
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CHILDREN
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Apr 21, 2022 02:24
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mediaphage posted:CHILDREN i know, right So today was The Weed Day but it was also the last day of our enby UX designer, hired on when we expanded because their partner was working as head of a department and went "I know someone, and also they live with me, is that cool". He left about a month ago and none of us were shocked that his partner also bounced without carpooling and closeness keeping the pair of them here. I didn't go to the after-work party because I do not trust my coworkers with their own life, much less mine, and I'm a real drag if I'm the only one at a bar in a mask. Because of this, they handed me an envelope after I took their company laptop back and headed into the night. I didn't open it until I got home because it was baby-fist small and I figured it was a tiny card or something. It was a rather dense note wrapped around a gorgeous enamel pin of trans-colored (CGA-colored? I can't unsee that poo poo, especially after someone pointed out it's half my wardrobe) roses, and at length it said "I wouldn't have even come out or had the nerve to do so on the job except for two things: [Partner] was already there, and he saw your constant string of pins and buttons before you came out publicly. All I did was talk about pronouns, you went way further than I ever could have, but you made it possible for me to do so." It feels incredibly weird to think of the fact that just casually existing made things seem safer for someone a decade my junior, but what the hell, I'll take it and even tear up a little.
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Apr 21, 2022 08:50
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Ciaphas posted:still, only 3 months in to having estradiol patches, and being nearly 40 years old maybe there won't be enough Physical changes for the questions to even matter  Even though it's not much I can look in the mirror without dissociating. And my god, does almost everything feel different. Like I'd experienced happiness before, but joy? Joy was a new one. It's a bit of a cliche, but you can almost always see that whatever in the eyes. It makes all the bullshit, all the uncertainty and instability, all the times I feel like the ugliest woman in the world so absolutely worth it, even if I look like Jerry Springer with boobs. Like I said, just magical ☺️
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Apr 21, 2022 12:03
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Ellie Trashcakes posted:Like I said, just magical ☺️
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Apr 21, 2022 12:55
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Ellie Trashcakes posted:I was 41 when I started and I wasn't expecting much physically. well i'll be, that's a hell of a change - i'd seen pictures of yours before, but not from the before-times and yeah cliches be damned; your eyes tell the entire story, and it's a good one
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Apr 21, 2022 15:36
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Last night I had a realization (roughly 4 months in) that I have no idea where this is going, that's scary, but it's ok. I spent so many years on being a person that was defined by people's expectations, either others or my own, that trying to predict where it will go is applying unhelpful pressure for me. I mean, it's good for me to have a goal. I love that. But, I owe it to myself to give myself the space to see where I end up without personal pressure. Ellie Trashcakes posted:Like I said, just magical ☺️  so happy for you!!
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Apr 21, 2022 15:40
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mediaphage posted:i’m not trans so take all this with a grain of salt but how you end up can really vary from person to person. i have some friends who transitioned late in life and some of the changes were really shocking to them; i think it’s probably hard to predict. Lady Radia posted:prepare to be surprised FUCKO Ellie Trashcakes posted:I was 41 when I started and I wasn't expecting much physically. ok so all three of you have been proven right about this in my case before even one more day passed; are y'all wizards i don't want to say publically what happened cos i think it borders on the tmi zone*, but it's made me unexpectedly joyful so i figured i'd give you the vindication anyway * that or i'm being a massive prude lol - hell, could be both
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Apr 22, 2022 00:43
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It's okay to say you got painfully new titties and are happy about that.
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Apr 22, 2022 00:58
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or the first lady orgasm
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Apr 22, 2022 01:04
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Dr. Stab posted:It's okay to say you got painfully new titties and are happy about that. ); i just didn't expect the danged things to ever leak, especially not at less than 3 months inLady Radia posted:or the first lady orgasm
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Apr 22, 2022 01:12
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Ciaphas posted:hell i said that much yesterday (in a spoiler bar admittedly i think warning folks about leaky tits (whether they think it's bad or a sign of hrt doing good) isn't tmi, it's important folks know that's a common thing.
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Apr 22, 2022 01:20
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if there's one thing i gotta learn soon it's how to stop turning beet-red-embarrassed trying to talk about these things, it only makes things more difficult than need be also to stop being surprised at the weird & wacky turns as the journey goes on
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Apr 22, 2022 01:20
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hey, it's okay to not want to talk about that stuff too! just dont make it being uncomfortable with yourself
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Apr 22, 2022 01:22
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yeah no one's saying you gotta talk about anyrhing you don't wanna, especially not online maybe with your doctor though i suppose
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Apr 22, 2022 01:52
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Ciaphas posted:hell i said that much yesterday (in a spoiler bar admittedly I uhh, I would tentatively advise u to get ur prolactin levels checked because that hormone causes breast milk production but also generally shouldnt be high enough in trans women normally to do that, and can sometimes be an indicator of Bad
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Apr 22, 2022 02:06
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yeah doc wants me getting a blood draw for that done asap; hopefully going tomorrow morning anyway in case i didn't say it, thank you all for the support and advice (and dealing w/me being a little excitable lol) Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Apr 22, 2022 |
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Apr 22, 2022 02:15
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