Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

While I am here, here is a video from a Wechat wall. LOL that white people come to China to get paid to do this poo poo:

http://i.imgur.com/fLgftH9.gifv

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:20

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# ? May 31, 2024 12:38

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

Just remember that the Ministry of Culture of the PRC is responsible for reviewing and granting all dramatic and artistic-based employment visas.

So that Blindfold Show is officially Government Approved!

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:23

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Haier posted:

And so are these eyebrows

lol

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:29

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Oh yeah, here's one from a wall I saved ages ago and forgot to load up -
A gangster party. Apparently the uniform for being a Chinese gangster is simply: Be fat, but not strong or have any muscle tone, make sure you have a good set of tits on you, a bunch of tattoos, and short hair or shaved head. Good scary!!!

http://i.imgur.com/wZPKzgS.gifv

If anyone wants to load their own Wechat videos: Send it to your computer version of Wechat while it's on, and the program will automatically save a copy to your documents/Wechat Files folder. Then load it into a MP4 to GIF site, then copy and paste the link to Video to GIFV on Imgur.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:29

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Look at all those Eddie Huang clones

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:33

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Here's one more from like July 2015 or something. I just saw it in folder. Someone had sent me this video of this crazy woman's birthday party:

http://i.imgur.com/2iPMazT.gifv

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:34

THE PWNER: Sep 7, 2006; by merry exmarx

Haier posted:

This but unironically. Getting owned hard in a war doesn't mean you get to gently caress off and make your own country.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 04:42

nomad2020: Jan 30, 2007

THE PWNER posted:

This but unironically. Getting owned hard in a war doesn't mean you get to gently caress off and make your own country.

It seems to have happened at least one time.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:04

THE PWNER: Sep 7, 2006; by merry exmarx

nomad2020 posted:

It seems to have happened at least one time.

That is a bourgeois lie. There is no Taiwan, Only China.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:08

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

There is no China, only Manchus.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:10

nomad2020: Jan 30, 2007

THE PWNER posted:

That is a bourgeois lie. There is no Taiwan, Only China.

Says Taiwan right here on these missile crates.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:10

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

ladron posted:

thankfully I have found solace in korea's descent into anarchy

hallelujah hallelujah

Has anyone seen how/if it's being reported in China? On one hand, look at the imperialist dogs and their democratic system falling apart. On the other, people got angry at the president and organized protests and forced her out of power.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:24

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22MoH8GuQ6U

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:26

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

Haier posted:

This mole is legit:

And so are these eyebrows

stop posting my picture online bai chi

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:30

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Capital flight must be absolutely gushing if they are going after plankton.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2016/12/10/china-to-halve-macau-cash-withdrawal-limit-to-us600-per-atm-visit/

quote:

China is to halve the cash machine limit for certain cardholders visiting the gambling enclave of Macau, in what analysts said was its latest effort to curb massive capital outflows caused by the falling yuan. From Saturday, punters using the UnionPay system � around half of those visiting the city from the mainland � will only be able to get 5,000 patacas (around US$600 or HK$4,900) each time they go to the ATM, the Monetary Authority of Macao said.

The move was to �further strengthen the measures to regulate Mainland bank card cash withdrawals,� it said.

A South China Morning Post report Friday saying that the limit would apply to total daily withdrawals sent Hong Kong-listed casino stocks plunging.

Sands China closed down 7.87 percent, Wynn Macau was 7.09 percent lower and Galaxy Entertainment lost 7.04 percent.

The Macau Monetary Authority statement came after the market had closed.

UnionPay International said in a statement to AFP that its overseas cash withdrawal policies �remain the same� �- 10,000 yuan per day with an annual cap of 100,000 yuan (US$14,500) �- but added it complies with regulations and laws issued by relevant authorities.

Despite their incremental nature, the changes appear to be an attempt by Chinese authorities to stem a growing tide of capital flowing out of China as locals seek safer investments abroad, analysts said.

Capital flight is estimated by Bloomberg to have reached US$1 trillion in 2015 and has continued during 2016, despite recent efforts by Beijing to tighten restrictions on currency flows. China�s foreign exchange reserves, the world�s largest hard-currency stockpile, dropped for the fifth-straight month in November to US$3.05 trillion, prompting authorities to step up control on capital flight.

Beijing had earlier this week warned against �irrational� overseas acquisitions as more domestic funds were being spent overseas with Chinese company�s increasing shopping spree on foreign asset. It also indicated it could relax restrictions on foreign investment in some sectors.

While analysts initially predicted a significant impact to the city�s gaming revenues from the move, they walked back their assessments in light of the statement from Macau.

Restricting the amount of cash available per transaction was an �incremental step� to stop capital outflows by making cash withdrawals less convenient, Francis Lun of Hong Kong-based GEO Securities told AFP.

�It makes it more difficult for people to send money out of the country. They hope they can reduce the spending of Chinese overseas by limiting the amount they can take out at one time, so they have to do it more than once. They�re putting in more roadblocks,� he said. �The number one problem facing Chinese authorities is the outflow of hard currency,� he added.

The stock plunges were �overdone� he said after it emerged that the slashing of withdrawals was less drastic than previously thought.

China�s State Administration of Foreign Exchange Reserve had already capped the amount of money UnionPay cardholders could spend overseas on insurance products earlier this year as wealthy Chinese have been buying up insurance policies in Hong Kong using credit cards.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:31

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

THE PWNER posted:

There is no Taiwan, Only China.

THE PWNER was our forum's #1 Chiang Kai-Shek fan all along! Who knew.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:38

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

big time bisexual posted:

stop posting my picture online bai chi

LOL. This would be a good AV.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 05:46

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Cannot get over those brows

# ? Dec 10, 2016 06:16

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

It's not the brows, it's the eyes.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 06:19

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

ladron posted:

haier, I'm begging you..please stop with the "my grandma" forwards..I want fresh, juicy, hosed up china stories, tia.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 06:42

Dicky mouse: Apr 11, 2008; "No No Not like that....Thats just silly"

Is this good for bitcoin?

# ? Dec 10, 2016 08:13

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

Haier posted:

omg kawaiiiii

# ? Dec 10, 2016 10:57

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan are making a movie together - Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask"

LMAAAAAO

# ? Dec 10, 2016 11:24

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

You're better than this Arnold. Jackie can get go gently caress himself.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 11:34

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Photo from today. On any given weekend (as well as most weekday nights), if it's not raining, you'll find 50-100 people (Chinese and non-Chinese, and people from all around the world on vacation) on skateboards at the vast wasteland of concrete that is the Shenzhen Civic Center. You will find the same number of adults and kids on inline skates as well, and the numbers fluctuate throughout the day. Sundays are the most crowded. There are also people on hoverboards, bicycles, and anything that needs a wide open, flat paved surface to play on. If you're into any wheeled activity, this is the place to meet new friends or find people to join, as well as way to find girls or MILFs that are watching or doing these things, or there with their kids/brothers.

Not in this photo are the 20 or so longboarders doing their board dancing. They were on the other side of the square.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 12:02

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

I need to rollerblade again

# ? Dec 10, 2016 12:15

exmachina: Mar 12, 2006; Look Closer

Haier posted:

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jackie Chan are making a movie together - Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask"

LMAAAAAO

That is a Chi Rho, a symbol adopted by Christianity by Constantine. It is used today by the Catholic and Orthodox churches. It kinda interests me, maybe they will bring up the theft of silkworms by spies who posed as Orthodox monks.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 12:36

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

lol

Beijing had earlier this week warned against �irrational� overseas acquisitions as more domestic funds were being spent overseas with Chinese company�s increasing shopping spree on foreign asset. It also indicated it could relax restrictions on foreign investment in some sectors.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 13:01

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

etalian posted:

lol

Beijing had earlier this week warned against �irrational� overseas acquisitions as more domestic funds were being spent overseas with Chinese company�s increasing shopping spree on foreign asset. It also indicated it could relax restrictions on foreign investment in some sectors.

Is there something lost in translation or does the CCP just come up with the most terrible euphemisms?

# ? Dec 10, 2016 13:20

Vesi: Jan 12, 2005; pikachu looking at?

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Is there something lost in translation or does the CCP just come up with the most terrible euphemisms?

it's very irresponsible of you to call CCP euphemisms terrible

# ? Dec 10, 2016 14:46

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

oohhboy posted:

You're better than this Arnold. Jackie can get go gently caress himself.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 15:06

oohhboy: Jun 8, 2013; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

To no one's surprise, like Chinese doctors, don't use Chinese apps. Because they spy on you.

Careful Haier, they might think your excessive plunging as information extraction. They will think your stories here is some sort of code to the CIA.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2016/12/10/five-chinese-mobile-payment-apps-record-users-sensitive-information/

gently caress, I engrished myself.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 15:08

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

oohhboy posted:

To no one's surprise, like Chinese doctors, don't use Chinese apps. Because they spy on you.

Careful Haier, they might think your excessive plunging as information extraction. They will think your stories here is some sort of code to the CIA.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2016/12/10/five-chinese-mobile-payment-apps-record-users-sensitive-information/

gently caress, I engrished myself.

Ugh! Asian software suites and the worst.

When I was still in Korea I finally broke down and decided to install the software so that I could do online banking and a bunch of other things through Hanna bank, and as soon as I said "OK" to the first thing, then it started installing another 2 pieces of software. By the time the installation was done there were something like 5 new processes running, two of which looked like they were trying to ape a typical Windows process (very, very similar name) and another one was just uploading crap like not tomorrow. Even when I closed IE (Korea :rolleyes:

) it was still using waaaay too much bandwidth, and I disabled my wifi, uninstalled everything, and decided that having to walk to the bank and waste an hour every month or so was worth the piece of mind.

My wife got a new Motorola G4 Plus phone when her previous contract ended two weeks ago, installed wechat, and about 6 other Chinese apps and two days later she was wondering why her phone was sluggish. I made sure everything that could be using any bandwidth in the house was turned off, and checked out the stats on the router while her phone was just sitting, doing nothing, and using the wifi. After 10 minutes her phone had uploaded nearly 6mb and had downloaded about 2mb total. There were no system updates going on, no cloud syncing, just those Chinese apps doing their thing in the background. I spent the next 10 minutes checking their memory usage and uninstalling them, and the only thing she has left on her phone is wechat and this Chinese version of imgur/pinterest.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 15:30

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

simplefish posted:

I need to rollerblade again

You can find many people that share this, at least in SZ. I had some guys add me to a QQ group last year and it was like a 200+ person club that met once a month for a 200+ person rollerblade-a-thon ride. They had photos of people getting married with skates on. It was pretty funny how crazy they were about it. There are tons of inline skate schools here that have classes (usually for kids) every night in the sidewalks or parking lots. There is a group of adults that meets one street away from me like 5 nights a week and they just dick around and smoke and it's about 70% cute girls. There are recreational skates, the slalom cone people, and aggressive skaters.
There is none of that obnoxious cry-baby bullshit rift between the wheeled sports here like there is in Western countries. Nobody gives a poo poo what anyone else is doing and it's nice to have some maturity for once.

oohhboy posted:

To no one's surprise, like Chinese doctors, don't use Chinese apps. Because they spy on you.

Careful Haier, they might think your excessive plunging as information extraction. They will think your stories here is some sort of code to the CIA.

https://www.hongkongfp.com/2016/12/10/five-chinese-mobile-payment-apps-record-users-sensitive-information/

gently caress, I engrished myself.

I know those b-holes Tencent are spying on me. I give the Tencent tower the finger every time I walk by it. Ok, I don't, but I am one of those people that really doesn't use my phone for much except chat apps. If Tencent wants to look at all my dick pics, they can be my guest. I rarely say anything against the CCP, China, or the people in Wechat, since Chinese can't handle any of it anyway.
I also never buy poo poo through my phone no matter where I live. I had the Amazon app for a week and deleted it. I just don't trust the phone security for any of these apps, especially on Android. I will never use Alipay or any of these services. When I want stuff off Taobao, I get my boss to buy it and I give her cash.

For everyone else, LOL. It's such a gamble, hory poo poo.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 17:26

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

How on Earth could I ever find a wife without leaving the couch before Tantan came along?

Edit: I don't even know her name. She's so thirsty for a husband. 21 years old. Tsk tsk.

# ? Dec 10, 2016 18:08

ass cobra: May 28, 2004; by Azathoth

Haier posted:

How on Earth could I ever find a wife without leaving the couch before Tantan came along?

Edit: I don't even know her name. She's so thirsty for a husband. 21 years old. Tsk tsk.

Well, do you??

# ? Dec 10, 2016 18:20

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

rear end cobra posted:

Well, do you??

She just keeps asking about if I want a wife or not and I'm like "you want to marry a stranger?" and she's all "I want a family."
-----

I've been on Mole Patrol lately because Fiveheads are scarce for some reason. I keep seeing some good ones.