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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

«‹›14088 »

Chokes McGee: Aug 7, 2008; This is Urotsuki.

Logikv9 posted:

Oh god please tell me the democrats aren't so awful that they would pass up this rnc debate clusterfuck to make fun of the republicans.

I honestly believe there is literally nothing they could say right now that would be more effective then standing back and letting the dumpster burn. In fact, it may take attention away from what's going on.

Opponent making mistakes, interrupting, etc.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:31

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 23:58

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Colbert did this whole business on his show before the 2012 elections where he tested the limits of this. At one point he gave Colbert SuperPac over to Jon Stewart, and they had people working in the same office in Hell's Kitchen, just with shirts saying who is in the PAC and who isn't, and as long as they declared they weren't coordinating, everything was fine. The things you can't do are ridiculously limited and there are crazy loopholes.

I forgot about the Colbert part of the 2012 election, that is the only thing this election is lacking.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:32

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

OctoberBlues posted:

I forgot about the Colbert part of the 2012 election, that is the only thing this election is lacking.

His name is Donald Trump.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:36

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

OctoberBlues posted:

I forgot about the Colbert part of the 2012 election, that is the only thing this election is lacking.

Yes, Colbert "ran for President" by hijacking Herman Cain's ballot line, said that voting for Cain was a vote for him, and got Cain to 5th place in South Carolina with 1% of the vote, slightly ahead of Rick Perry.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:36

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

Patter Song posted:

So Alabama has its filling deadline on Friday. It's not as simple as just signing a sheet of paper, though. You need to run delegates for each of Alabama's 47 delegate slots or, even if you win, you don't get the delegate for the vacant slots.

http://algop.org/elections/2016-qualified-alabama-republican-candidates/2016-republican-national-convention-delegate/

You can track how the candidates are doing here. It's a good seriousness test.

Rubio has 28 out of 47, and he and Carson at 26/47 are the ones with the fullest delegate loadout yet. Cruz at 23 and Trump at 20 are close behind. Jeb! and Fiorina are at 14 and 13. Kasich, Huckabee, Paul, and Santorum are in the low single digits, and Christie, Gilmore, Jindal, Graham, and Pataki don't have any.

Which candidates will run a full 47 delegate slate by Friday? Can Jeb Bush find 47 people in Alabama who like him enough to sign up to be on his delegate slate? Stay tuned.

Huh.

The way Alabama's delegate rules work is:
In each of 7 CDs, winner gets 2 delegates, second place gets 1 (if winner has 50% of vote in CD, he gets all 3).
Then there are 26 delegates awards proportionally between candidates receiving 20%+ of the vote.

With this field, a second place finish 20% in Alabama could mean anywhere between 15-25 delegates.

14 is really not enough.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:42

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

OctoberBlues posted:

I forgot about the Colbert part of the 2012 election, that is the only thing this election is lacking.

"It connotes excitement" happened on Colbert's show. What a wonderful world.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:46

Mitt Romney: Nov 9, 2005; dumb and bad

Bush candidates themselves haven't ever gotten too dirty but the people running their campaigns have been effectively dirty. John McCain's black baby in South Carolina and etc.

I think it's just a matter of time before Rubio starts getting this treatment.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 05:57

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Except it's Jeb so it's going to be fliers of "Have you heard Rubio has a sword? Is he a ninja?" And the most common response to Jeb's after action polling is going to be, "EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. IT’S AMERICAN NINJA"

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:21

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Mitt Romney posted:

Bush candidates themselves haven't ever gotten too dirty but the people running their campaigns have been effectively dirty. John McCain's black baby in South Carolina and etc.

I think it's just a matter of time before Rubio starts getting this treatment.

Funny enough, Warren Tompkins, the ratfucker who supposedly started the "McCain has a black baby" whisper campaign is now heading Rubio's largest SuperPac.

About Jeb! His campaign manager at the moment is Danny Diaz who according to Politico is the "best oppo man in the business." Funny enough Diaz worked on McCain's campaign in 2007, and was jettisoned during the big shake up. If Jeb is going 'McCain 2007' I think he knows where to start.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:26

Dolash: Oct 23, 2008; aNYWAY,
tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
oF ME GETTING HURT,

It's interesting because Bush isn't entirely wrong to focus on Rubio. If the Final Four were Cruz, Carson, Trump and either of them, they'd have a decent shot just based on the establishment and saner Republicans having no other options. Some of the dogpiling on Jeb at the moment almost seems like an effort to clear the field quickly so the establishment can start rallying behind someone sooner rather than later, maybe in hopes of recreating the Romney effect where Rubio can hang steady and the crazies take turns self-destructing.

The irony is, Bush's path to becoming that option of last resort would be to hobble Rubio's candidacy any way he can - instead of trying to get people energized to vote for Bush, they'll be trying to tear Rubio down to Jeb's level or lower. Run ads against him, spook the establishment and donors with stuff like that slide show, leak opposition research, etc. It's the worst route for the party as a whole since it's about reducing the chance that an establishment candidate will take the nomination at all in favor of making sure that if any of them do, it'll be Jeb. At best it relies on the assumption that only being the establishment pick matters while the outsiders will surely deflate on their own and at worst it's a purely selfish gamble.

The longer they focus on each other, the closer they get to making Nominee Trump reality. And even if one of them manages to take the nomination, this damage will stick around for the general. Jeb and Marco both rely on the "electability" argument and starting the negative narratives that'll chase them into the election undermines that very argument.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:36

point of return: Aug 13, 2011; by exmarx

Chokes McGee posted:

I honestly believe there is literally nothing they could say right now that would be more effective then standing back and letting the dumpster burn. In fact, it may take attention away from what's going on.

Opponent making mistakes, interrupting, etc.

It's in the general that you start quoting everything they said and asking how someone who can't deal with Jim Cramer* can stand up to Putin.

*how the gently caress does this guy still have a job

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:38

Patter Song: Mar 26, 2010; Hereby it is manifest that during the time men live without a common power to keep them all in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man.; Fun Shoe

Dolash posted:

It's interesting because Bush isn't entirely wrong to focus on Rubio. If the Final Four were Cruz, Carson, Trump and either of them, they'd have a decent shot just based on the establishment and saner Republicans having no other options. Some of the dogpiling on Jeb at the moment almost seems like an effort to clear the field quickly so the establishment can start rallying behind someone sooner rather than later, maybe in hopes of recreating the Romney effect where Rubio can hang steady and the crazies take turns self-destructing.

The irony is, Bush's path to becoming that option of last resort would be to hobble Rubio's candidacy any way he can - instead of trying to get people energized to vote for Bush, they'll be trying to tear Rubio down to Jeb's level or lower. Run ads against him, spook the establishment and donors with stuff like that slide show, leak opposition research, etc. It's the worst route for the party as a whole since it's about reducing the chance that an establishment candidate will take the nomination at all in favor of making sure that if any of them do, it'll be Jeb. At best it relies on the assumption that only being the establishment pick matters while the outsiders will surely deflate on their own and at worst it's a purely selfish gamble.

The longer they focus on each other, the closer they get to making Nominee Trump reality. And even if one of them manages to take the nomination, this damage will stick around for the general. Jeb and Marco both rely on the "electability" argument and starting the negative narratives that'll chase them into the election undermines that very argument.

Yeah. Running as the rumor-mongering guy hinting that Marco Rubio has cocaine-fueled orgies in a Miami mansion or whatever Jeb!'s whispering campaign will turn up could hurt Marco Rubio, but it could also hurt Jeb! even more. Jeb already has either the highest or second-highest unfavorables in the race (depending on how Chris Christie was doing that day), and going from joyful tortoise to snapping tortoise can only make that worse for him.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:39

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Dolash posted:

It's interesting because Bush isn't entirely wrong to focus on Rubio. If the Final Four were Cruz, Carson, Trump and either of them, they'd have a decent shot just based on the establishment and saner Republicans having no other options. Some of the dogpiling on Jeb at the moment almost seems like an effort to clear the field quickly so the establishment can start rallying behind someone sooner rather than later, maybe in hopes of recreating the Romney effect where Rubio can hang steady and the crazies take turns self-destructing.

The irony is, Bush's path to becoming that option of last resort would be to hobble Rubio's candidacy any way he can - instead of trying to get people energized to vote for Bush, they'll be trying to tear Rubio down to Jeb's level or lower. Run ads against him, spook the establishment and donors with stuff like that slide show, leak opposition research, etc. It's the worst route for the party as a whole since it's about reducing the chance that an establishment candidate will take the nomination at all in favor of making sure that if any of them do, it'll be Jeb. At best it relies on the assumption that only being the establishment pick matters while the outsiders will surely deflate on their own and at worst it's a purely selfish gamble.

The longer they focus on each other, the closer they get to making Nominee Trump reality. And even if one of them manages to take the nomination, this damage will stick around for the general. Jeb and Marco both rely on the "electability" argument and starting the negative narratives that'll chase them into the election undermines that very argument.

Is that really going to work, though? The donors probably already see Trump as the bigger threat, and might find Jeb's focusing on Rubio to be irritating rather than convincing.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:39

AARP LARPer: Feb 19, 2005; THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR; Buglord

AARP LARPer fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Jan 22, 2016

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:40

EugeneJ: Feb 5, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Jeb Bush hopes new e-book can help relaunch a struggling campaign

Never have I seen a sadder headline.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:45

Fuck You And Diebold: Sep 15, 2004; by Athanatos

EugeneJ posted:

Jeb Bush hopes new e-book can help relaunch a struggling campaign

Never have I seen a sadder headline.

lol Jeb!, you are supposed to have a presidential campaign to promote the book, not the other way around!

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:52

Mitt Romney: Nov 9, 2005; dumb and bad

Do Not Resuscitate posted:

How are you guys figuring that Jeb can get his poo poo together in order to pull off some jedi oppo takedown? The dude has trouble just breathing and talking at the same time.

The guy required days of careful planning just to execute a sick French Workweek burn on Rubes, only to be left a stammering wreck after Rubes called him a dumbass to his face.

Saying that the people behind Bush's campaign are going to get dirty with Rubio with regard to rumors and other whisper campaigns is not the same as saying he's personally going to do "some jedi oppo takedown".

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:53

AARP LARPer: Feb 19, 2005; THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR; Buglord

AARP LARPer fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Jan 22, 2016

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:53

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

The Great Gampy

"Human sympathy has its limits, and we were contented to let all their tragic arguments fade with the city lights behind."

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:54

AARP LARPer: Feb 19, 2005; THE DARK SIDE OF SCIENCE BREEDS A WEAPON OF WAR; Buglord

AARP LARPer fucked around with this message at 05:55 on Jan 22, 2016

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:57

Chelb: Oct 24, 2010; I'm gonna show SA-kun my shitposting!

EugeneJ posted:

Jeb Bush hopes new e-book can help relaunch a struggling campaign

Never have I seen a sadder headline.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:58

Dolash: Oct 23, 2008; aNYWAY,
tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
oF ME GETTING HURT,

EugeneJ posted:

Jeb Bush hopes new e-book can help relaunch a struggling campaign

Never have I seen a sadder headline.

Jeb Bush Hopes Mixtape Left In America's Locker Will Finally Show How He Feels

# ? Nov 2, 2015 06:59

Chelb: Oct 24, 2010; I'm gonna show SA-kun my shitposting!

Rollofthedice posted:

quote:

They were two men from different worlds. One drink's Macallan, the other drinks PBR. One is a billionaire, the other one fights for the working class. They're two populists from different sides of the aisle, both aspiring to be the next President of the United States.

But what happens behind the scenes, when they're not spouting ridiculous populist rhetoric and unworkable policy proposals? You might be surprised to find out how a chance meeting in a dingy dive bar led to one of the greatest love stories of our time.

Read along and experience the Bern just as Donald feels it, in his anus... and his heart!

***Mature Audiences Only -- Ages 18+ -- Hot Gay Sex Between Potential Presidential Candidates!!!***

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:03

AdmiralViscen: Nov 2, 2011

Is that letter to networks real? It has a loving typo at the end (there)

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:06

Oiled and Ready: Oct 11, 2004; He wished it could be as respectable and orthodox as spying. But somehow in his hands the traditional tools and attitudes were always employed toward mean ends: cloak for a laundry sack, dagger to peel potatoes, dossiers to fill up dead Sunday afternoons ...

I just want to quickly point out that a joke I made in the Trump thread a few days ago actually came very, very true:

"America, we're having a family meeting. I want too see every one of you in the living room tonight" (regarding Trump's eventual SOTU addresses and his general demeanor)

And then this from an article about this debate meeting held today:

"GOP campaign operatives began arriving at the Hilton Alexandria Old Town at around 5:30 p.m. Sunday and headed upstairs to what had been code-named �family dinner.�"

So when I get real drunk and start sounded like Boosted and Smoothrich on Trump's nuts just realize I know what's up 'cause between this and him retweeting me I think he may be my spirit animal - I'll let you know what pronouns to call me shortly

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:08

Addamere: Jan 3, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

skaboomizzy posted:

Robert Costa says the campaigns may want the RNC totally out of the debate planning process except for booking the venues and taking care of tickets. No word yet on how format, moderators, TV, etc would be decided if they go that direction.

Trump gets to decide everything. It'll be the yoogest, most luxurious debate. Trump retains this right in perpetuity. Even after he dies, he maintains that right and no one else gets to do it. :unsmigghh:

:unsmigghh:

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:16

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Exclusive� GOP Campaigns Agree to Cut RNC Out of Debate Process, Negotiate Directly with Networks

quote:

Corey Lewandowski, the campaign manager for frontrunner Donald Trump, confirmed to Breitbart News via phone on Sunday that the �biggest consensus� of five separate points the GOP campaigns agreed on was cutting the RNC out of the negotiations with the networks, as the campaigns would each like to negotiate with the networks directly.

In response to the revelation that the RNC will be cut out of the process, RNC chief spokesman Sean Spicer�the party�s point man on handling debates until now�said the RNC stands ready to help the candidates in any way they can.

�The RNC is fully committed to serving the interests of our campaigns,� Spicer told Breitbart News. �We support the best format to present their vision to lead America forward..."

...The second point of agreement was that they want information from the networks on things such as qualification criteria earlier than before, Lewandowski said, and third was they want �greater parity and greater integrity� in questions. A fourth point of agreement, according to Lewandowski, was they want debates to last no longer than two hours�including commercials�and a fifth is they want each candidate to get at least 30 seconds apiece for opening and for closing statements...

...Most of the details of what various campaigns wanted was already made public heading into the meeting. �Ben Carson�s campaign manager, Barry Bennett, was hopeful that the group could agree on one two-hour debate with every candidate onstage,� the Washington Post�s Bob Costa and Dave Weigel reported...

...During the meeting, too, according to Costa and Weigel, former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush�s campaign manager Danny Diaz pushed unsuccessfully for Telemundo to get reinstated as a moderator�something Trump would boycott.

�Bush campaign manager Danny Diaz recommended that Telemundo be reinstated after being dropped along with NBC,� Costa and Weigel wrote. �But the campaign of businessman Donald Trump, represented by manager Corey Lewandowski, threatened to boycott a debate if the Spanish-language network that Trump has clashed with was granted one.�

Telemundo was supposed to partner with NBC News, but after CNBC�s horrendous moderating job in Boulder, Colorado, last week lost its upcoming debate along with partner network NBC News...

...This revelation also means a last-ditch effort by the RNC to keep control of the process has failed. Politico reported right before the meeting that the RNC named a new official to handle debates along with Spicer. Politico�s Mike Allen quoted RNC chief of staff Katie Walsh as having emailed campaign managers for all 14 GOP candidates� campaign managers half an hour before the meeting to say she has placed RNC Chief Operating Officer (COO) Sean Cairncross in charge of the debates with Spicer.

�I have asked Sean Cairncross, Chief Operating Officer of the RNC and former Chief Counsel to take the central role in the debate process, specifically as it pertains to working with Sean Spicer and negotiating with the networks,� Walsh emailed the campaign managers.

The Sunday evening meeting was initiated by Dr. Ben Carson�s campaign. Carson, who along with Trump sits atop GOP polling, had pushed for all the GOP candidates including those polling extraordinarily low to be granted a place on stage. Most of the other top polling candidates� campaigns did not agree to that. Campaign staff for Sen. Lindsey Graham, who is polling at or below 1 percent, and for Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum pushed for being included on the main stage of debates...

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:17

Vegetable: Oct 22, 2010

"I hope you enjoy reading about medical liability tort reform, because it was one of my top priorities for 2003"

Jeb! is joking, right

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:17

Vegetable: Oct 22, 2010

Who will save Reince Priebus

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:18

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Montasque posted:

Exclusive� GOP Campaigns Agree to Cut RNC Out of Debate Process, Negotiate Directly with Networks

Logical conclusion to their opposition to collective bargaining.

Vegetable posted:

Who will save Reince Priebus

That union hack belongs with the DNC.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:19

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Montasque posted:

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2015/11/01/bush_i_love_my_dad_id_kill_for_him_id_go_to_prison_for_him.html

What the gently caress

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:21

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Phlegmish posted:

What the gently caress

It's the same thing his brother did, except without the prison part but a whole lot of killing.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:24

zetamind2000: Nov 6, 2007; ~~I'm an alien.~~

Vegetable posted:

Who will save Reince Priebus

A good bottle of scotch.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:25

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Over at Freep they are all celebrating Trump's victory over the RNC/Rinse Pubus, and are all but ready to proclaim him God-King of America. You know Freep is really rocking when JimRob is now banning people who are vocally anti-Trump. How dare they speak ill of God's agent on Earth: Donald J Trump.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:30

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Montasque posted:

Over at Freep they are all celebrating Trump's victory over the RNC/Rinse Pubus, and are all but ready to proclaim him God-King of America. You know Freep is really rocking when JimRob is now banning people who are vocally anti-Trump. How dare they speak ill of God's agent on Earth: Donald J Trump.

Ooooh right in time for the annual bitching about how their families don't talk to anymore, too :allears:

:allears:

I wonder if any of them are worried about how this whole whining about the refs poo poo is going to be a Chang-tier sword in their chest in the general

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:51

Rocks: Dec 30, 2011

First Carson saying he tried to murder someone when he was 14, then Jeb saying he'll murder for his father, what's next

# ? Nov 2, 2015 07:55

Montasque: Jul 18, 2003; Living in a hateful world sending me straight to Heaven

Epic High Five posted:

Ooooh right in time for the annual bitching about how their families don't talk to anymore, too

I wonder if any of them are worried about how this whole whining about the refs poo poo is going to be a Chang-tier sword in their chest in the general

It very well may. If the nom is Rubio or Jeb this can be played as an attack, especially against Jeb who not only whined like an entitled baby, but got nothing for it. The only candidates who can actually spin this into a positive are Carson and of course Trump. Trump instigated this entire mess and basically got everything that he wanted. The ART OF THE DEAL in action.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 08:02

skaboomizzy: Nov 12, 2003; There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Jeb! in real life is worse than any parody of boring-rear end Al Gore.

"I hope you like reading about medical tort reform"

Oh god YES I tear through it like most people read Harry Potter books.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 08:08

Sono: Apr 9, 2008

Rocks posted:

First Carson saying he tried to murder someone when he was 14, then Jeb saying he'll murder for his father, what's next

Trump starts bragging about the bodies he's had his mafia buddies bury in the foundations of his buildings.

Killed people? Dozens of them. They were losers. Let me to ya, to make America great again, I'm going to kill hundreds of millions of people.

* wild applause and spontaneous orgasms*

# ? Nov 2, 2015 08:20

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 23:58

a.lo: Sep 12, 2009

gently caress Jeb Bush and Mike Huckabee.

# ? Nov 2, 2015 08:25

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

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