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Chemmy posted:Eh. Serve it on a warm plate. Better yet, get two steaks. Set one aside and shun it. Then you're going to look at the other steak. Just look at it. Open your eyes wide, grit your teeth, and build hatred in your veins. What you are about to do takes true grit. Grab your favorite knife and get ready to gently caress that steak. No, no, not in that way. You are going to murder this steak in a way that will make a steak nerd become so appalled that his jaw will drop, his pants will drop, and then his balls will drop. Begin by cutting a thin slice from the top of the steak, but leave it hanging, butterflied, hinged on the short side like you've just scalped someone and got distracted by a beautiful woman or a rather interesting raccoon. Below that slice, cut the opposite way, also keeping it connected at the edge. Continue a few more cuts. You should now have a steak that somewhat resembles an accordion. Now, make a cut leaving a hing on the long side, like a book, and start a second row. Continue expanding this pattern until you are out of steak. Unfolded, the steak should resemble a road map. Why are you doing this? Surface area. Surface area is delicious. You are going to create an unholy altar to the great chemist, Louis Maillard, by taking a steak and its measly 60 square inches of surface area and making 1000 in2 of meaty brown ambrosia. Go to your stove and turn on all the burners. Yes, all of them, and cranked to high. If you have a glass-top stove, great. If not, grab whatever thick metal pans you might have or cannibalize a couple of lovely electric griddles. Hell, go to a junkyard and take the hood off of an old Ford and lay the thing on your barbeque. Nobody will question the meaty fire in your eyes. You are a craftsman, building a commercial-sized griddle that can maintain a minimum temperature of 300 degrees, which means starting much higher. So let all of that metal heat up. This will take a while, so you might grab a seat on your manliest rocking chair and sit like Betsy Ross, sewing together your meat flag using bits of leek threading. You'll know the griddle is ready when your house blows a breaker or the fire alarm goes off. Personally, I wait until my hood fan starts making labored, grinding noises that make the dog howl. Season and lightly oil your meat blanket, then cast it over the grill like you are a bullfighter of beefs. Grill, my friend, grill and chant a verse of praise to Louis Maillard. Flip and grill again. Congratulations. You now have turned a single steak into the best part of a hundred steaks. Now, do you remember that other steak that you coldly left behind? You are going to heat it just until juicy, then wrap that raw slab up in your meat blanket like a burrito. Or, hell, just forget the raw steak and make a meat turban on your head and eat your way out. Or wear it like a bandana, pretend to be a train robber, and eat your way out. Or make a meat shirt and flex your way to a delicious meal. You have created meat linen. It is a childhood dream come true. You are Little Nemo in the land of meatiful dreams. Likewise, for dessert, you're going to make a cake that's 100% buttercream frosting and Mobius brownies, which are nothing but edges. When you go to make love to your sweet wife or hand, you'll orgasm for all 7 minutes. When you fart, it will be long and pleasurable, consisting of nothing but the funny part at the end of most farts, where the pitch increases like your butt just asked an intriguing question. When you wake up the next day and pee, your piss shiver will last the entire morning. This experience can only be surpassed if you could ever can muster the courage to baconize an entire pig.
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Jun 13, 2012 06:47
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Jun 13, 2012 06:59
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So basically you're making a cheese steak.
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Jun 13, 2012 09:49
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I've been trying to make homemade yogurt, but my first two attempts turned out roughly the consistency of snot. I let the yogurt set in a warm place for around 8 hours. Both times it appeared to set (smelled yogurty, and a slice I made in the curds remained visible), but transferring it made it disintegrate. Does this mean is just hasn't sat long enough? Do I need to chill it before trying to move it? There are about a million guides online to making yogurt, but most are contradictory and vaguely superstitious.
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Jun 13, 2012 13:40
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I don't think just letting it sit will work unless it's pretty hot. Or leave it longer. What I do is put it in a tupperware, fill my rice cooker with water, then put the tupperware in the water bath and leave the cooker on warm. I leave it there to incubate overnight, in the morning I put it on the counter and go to work. When I get home, I have yogurt. I strain out some whey to thicken it and then refrigerate. So 8-10 hours incubating, 9 hours or so on the counter. When I tried without the incubation I let it sit a full day and it still wasn't really yogurty. It will be pretty thin unless you strain it. I use a couple paper coffee filters in a colander. I like more of a Greek style so I strain about half the volume out.
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Jun 13, 2012 13:59
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I want to make my own almond flour. My understanding is that doing so in a food processor is going to release too many oils and make a paste more than a flour. So I need to do so in a coffee/spice grinder. Should I blanch/roast/toast the almonds first?
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Jun 13, 2012 14:21
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Cuddlebottom posted:I've been trying to make homemade yogurt, but my first two attempts turned out roughly the consistency of snot. I let the yogurt set in a warm place for around 8 hours. Both times it appeared to set (smelled yogurty, and a slice I made in the curds remained visible), but transferring it made it disintegrate. Does this mean is just hasn't sat long enough? Do I need to chill it before trying to move it? I personally find that adding plenty of dry milk at the beginning will make it thicker- I hear gelatin will as well- but transferring it typically loosens it up or having thick enough yogurt prevents it from reforming to a new container. It's probably the only reason I bought a 'yogurt maker' was for the individual cups. Even the way I like it, I'd still have to strain it for greek style, unless I went super overboard with dry milk in which case it has almost a flan consistency.
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Jun 13, 2012 14:30
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Ah, so it sounds like it's not like bread, it really needs to ferment much warmer than room temperature. I bought some cheesecloth, too, so hopefully finding a better way to incubate and straining it helps. Thanks!
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Jun 13, 2012 16:56
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SubG posted:The water content of cooked meat tends to be around 60%, independent of cooking method (to within plus or minus a few percent). Citation: some data from the USDA. From the first citation, variation of water content in raw vs cooked beef varies from 1 percentage point in lean ground to 15 points in brisket. Either way, the notion that one can just weigh food pre and post fryer and get something even approaching an accurate count of calories added by oil is a drastic oversimplification given the aims and sensitivity needs of most calorie-counters.
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Jun 13, 2012 18:19
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Phummus posted:I want to make my own almond flour. My understanding is that doing so in a food processor is going to release too many oils and make a paste more than a flour. So I need to do so in a coffee/spice grinder. Should I blanch/roast/toast the almonds first? I've made almond flour in a processor and it didn't turn into paste, worked pretty well for macarons
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Jun 13, 2012 20:22
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Can anyone suggest a nice dumpling recipe for in a red wine stew? My mum gave me her recipe, but they're horribly tough and stodgy.
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Jun 13, 2012 20:36
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pork never goes bad posted:From the first citation, variation of water content in raw vs cooked beef varies from 1 percentage point in lean ground to 15 points in brisket. Either way, the notion that one can just weigh food pre and post fryer and get something even approaching an accurate count of calories added by oil is a drastic oversimplification given the aims and sensitivity needs of most calorie-counters.
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Jun 13, 2012 21:02
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pork never goes bad posted:Either way, the notion that one can just weigh food pre and post fryer and get something even approaching an accurate count of calories added by oil is a drastic oversimplification given the aims and sensitivity needs of most calorie-counters. It was pretty much a comment of 'if you don't believe it soaks up a lot of oil, just weigh it and notice a dramatic change', or at least that's how I read it.
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Jun 13, 2012 21:44
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SubG posted:I wasn't attempting to be sensitive to the needs of most calorie counters. I'm really just objecting to this line of your earlier post: SubG posted:You can actually just weigh a portion of the food before and after cooking to figure out how much of the cooking oil it's hanging onto. It seems to be inaccurate, and is definitely misleading whether there is some sense in which it is accurate (when precision needs are sufficiently low, I suppose). I'm not sure what you meant by this line if you didn't mean that for the implied purpose of the person you were responding to - calorie counting - this sort of weighing would work. The context is there whether you intended to address it or not.
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Jun 13, 2012 21:45
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pork never goes bad posted:It seems to be inaccurate, and is definitely misleading whether there is some sense in which it is accurate (when precision needs are sufficiently low, I suppose). I'm not sure what you meant by this line if you didn't mean that for the implied purpose of the person you were responding to - calorie counting - this sort of weighing would work. The context is there whether you intended to address it or not. Weighing the cooking oil in the fryer would be more accurate, but I hesitate to suggest it. I'm imagining someone putting a boiling hot fryer on a kitchen scale, tumping it over, their house engulfed in flames, and them turning to face the internet to curse me with their dying breath. Actually now that I think of it, I can't remember why I didn't suggest it instead.
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Jun 13, 2012 22:04
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Phummus posted:I want to make my own almond flour. My understanding is that doing so in a food processor is going to release too many oils and make a paste more than a flour. So I need to do so in a coffee/spice grinder. Should I blanch/roast/toast the almonds first? Do like they do for coconut flour. Blend the almonds in a blender with enough water to make almond milk, then strain out the pulp, and roast it in the oven until it's dried out, and becomes almond flour.  For the beans and rice person: http://altveg.blogspot.com/2012/06/i-saw-complaint-from-someone-who-was.html <- I wrote about it on my blog.
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Jun 13, 2012 22:18
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Valdara posted:I just spent two hours making pot pie. The prep can be lengthy, but it is oh, so very worth it. I even managed to take reasonably detailed pictures of basically every step. Would delicious pot pie be something to start a new thread, or something to just stick on the end of "what I made for supper"? I made it in my shiny new stainless pot, and it showed me a bunch of things I've only every read about due to using non-stick a majority of the time. I think that it could be a pretty cool thread. I was messing around and made some kind of pork pot pie today, no pics though.
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Jun 14, 2012 00:22
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Cuddlebottom posted:Ah, so it sounds like it's not like bread, it really needs to ferment much warmer than room temperature. I bought some cheesecloth, too, so hopefully finding a better way to incubate and straining it helps. Thanks! Yeah it benefits from higher temperatures, you want that bacteria growing like crazy. I think like 90-100 F is supposed to be ideal. The longer you let it sit, the more sour it will get. It will also continue getting sour in the fridge so I recommend fridging it while it's still a little less sour than what you want.
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Jun 14, 2012 03:18
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The tritip turned out fantastic, and I now own a meat thermometer for future meat cooking endeavours. It ended up a solid medium rather than med-rare, since I had it resting in a cooler with a bottle of hot water to make sure it and the rest of the meal didn't get too cold in the loving HOUR it took to drive 23 miles thanks to stupid Stanford traffic. But, in the end, it was super tender and delicious. It now makes me cry to think of the crock pot death cooking my former roommates would subject their tritip to. I have another question. Why is there all this hate for ground turkey? I've seen it called "the worst meat" and many reactions of horror for people using it in recipes. It was on sale for super duper cheaper than any other ground meat and is always the same price as the highest fat ground beef at Trader Joe's, so it's comparable on that end. It has plenty of flavor, but is subtle enough that it can be spiced to fit into any dish you're serving. It doesn't taste as rich as beef or pork, but it also lets the spices shine a bit more. When I'm making meatloaf or meatballs or something along those lines that calls specifically for a type of meat, I get beef and pork, but for everyday "brown ground meat and add spices" I go for the cheapest and lightest flavor, which is ground turkey. So what's the problem? I will readily admit that ground turkey breast tastes like sawdust, but the regular stuff is fine.
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Jun 14, 2012 07:02
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It's one of the leanest things you can commonly get, which is good and bad; good if you want lean protein for your dietary needs, but bad if you're making any recipe that relies on there being some fat in your ground meat (like burgers, for example). The lack of fat is seen as a negative by a lot of people.
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Jun 14, 2012 13:28
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You can do perfectly good things with ground turkey, but it's incredibly easy to overcook. As a result, most people hate it because, more than likely, every time they've eaten something made with ground turkey, it's been dry, chalky, overcooked bullshit.
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Jun 14, 2012 13:36
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I bought a block of tofu and I don't know anything about tofu. All Google is finding me is recipes and the like. The package says a lot about pressing and draining it to make it firm and then frying it? Can I just cut off slices and eat them plain and simple? What are the basics and "rules" for tofu? I'm looking more for the protein than for good food here, and it might be worth noting that my cooking skill is at the level where I've literally learned how to boil pasta and eggs this week.
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Jun 14, 2012 15:13
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Don't press tofu. Pressing is for white people. I like to drain, slice in 1" cubes and dry fry in a wok. Then when it's brown and puffy and crispy all around toss in a mix of chili, light soy, garlic, oyster sauce, and scallion that's been stir fried up together until thickened.
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Jun 14, 2012 17:39
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I've got a bunch of cremini mushrooms left over after making a mushroom bolognese a couple days ago (about 3/8# or so). Any suggestions on dishes I could make for one person that would utilize at least some of these? I'm going out of town for the weekend and doubt they will still be good when I return. I'm also only going to have about 45 minutes tonight to make dinner.
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Jun 14, 2012 19:26
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rj54x posted:I've got a bunch of cremini mushrooms left over after making a mushroom bolognese a couple days ago (about 3/8# or so). Any suggestions on dishes I could make for one person that would utilize at least some of these? I'm going out of town for the weekend and doubt they will still be good when I return. I'm also only going to have about 45 minutes tonight to make dinner. Steak with sauteed onions and mushrooms. Chicken cacciatore. Beef stroganoff. Or just fry up onions and mushrooms in some butter with salt and pepper to taste. Eat the hell out of them and skip all that other boring prepwork.
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Jun 14, 2012 19:32
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Anyone have a tasty quick recipe for brussel sprouts that would pair well with lemon rosemary roasted chicken? sharing oven space is a bonus too, instead of stove top.
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Jun 14, 2012 19:49
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I just found out my husband is going to be traveling for work all next week, so I get to find out if it's possible for me to eat so much salmon that I get tired of it! He can't even stand the way it smells, so I only eat it at home if he's out of town (or if I get sushi, which doesn't make the house smell like salmon). I'm going to do my darnedest to eat as much salmon as a bear preparing for hibernation.
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Jun 14, 2012 20:42
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toplitzin posted:Anyone have a tasty quick recipe for brussel sprouts that would pair well with lemon rosemary roasted chicken? cut em in half then oil em and whack em in the oven
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Jun 14, 2012 21:04
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pork never goes bad posted:cut em in half then oil em and whack em in the oven also, nuts!! Brussel sprouts need/want/love nuts, for example: chestnuts, or hazelnuts
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Jun 14, 2012 21:14
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paraquat posted:also, nuts!! Pinenuts?
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Jun 14, 2012 21:21
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yes, that would be fine as well...and a bit of fresh ground black pepper
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Jun 14, 2012 21:23
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toplitzin posted:Anyone have a tasty quick recipe for brussel sprouts that would pair well with lemon rosemary roasted chicken? My favourite quick way to cook brussels sprouts is to render the fat out of an ounce or two of bacon, sausage, or other fatty cured meat, then slice the sprouts up and toss them in with some dijon and maple syrup.
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Jun 14, 2012 22:20
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toplitzin posted:Anyone have a tasty quick recipe for brussel sprouts that would pair well with lemon rosemary roasted chicken? If you're eating outside or it's hot, make a slaw; brussels sprouts are cabbage, after all. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/17/dining/17minirex2.html Take that recipe and run with it.
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Jun 14, 2012 22:34
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toplitzin posted:Anyone have a tasty quick recipe for brussel sprouts that would pair well with lemon rosemary roasted chicken? Quarter em. Salt, pepper, olive oil, and either soy sauce or my favorite liquid amino. Roast em in the oven @425. Flip em halfway to brown em all over.
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Jun 14, 2012 23:29
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rj54x posted:I've got a bunch of cremini mushrooms left over after making a mushroom bolognese a couple days ago (about 3/8# or so). Any suggestions on dishes I could make for one person that would utilize at least some of these? I'm going out of town for the weekend and doubt they will still be good when I return. I'm also only going to have about 45 minutes tonight to make dinner. I like to cook them whole in some good red wine with some shallot, garlic and rosemary. Use as a side dish or just stuff them into your mouth. Reduce the wine for more deliciousness.
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Jun 15, 2012 00:07
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I am cooking a butter chicken for some people and I want to impress. I want it to be as UK style as possible. I liked the look of this recipe and was wondering if I could get any feedback or suggestions on things I could add/take away/do differently. Cheers. http://indianfood.about.com/od/chickendishes/r/butterchicken.htm The one thing I would probably do differently is not grind up the bay leaves into the spice mix. I always thought you are meant to add a whole bay leaf to cooking and then remove it as it has a lovely mouth feel and just isn't really food fit for human consumption.
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Jun 15, 2012 00:48
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I'd like to slow cook some pulled pork in a dutch oven while I'm at work. I have 6 pounds and want it to be done in 10-12 hours. What temperature should I cook at to attempt to hit the 10 hour mark? Is there some kind of mass/temp=>time chart I can consult? I was thinking 225F, but would appreciate any advice.
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Jun 15, 2012 01:59
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bunnielab posted:Whats a good temp to cook scallops to? I am really bad at judging doneness by touch and I always end up over cooking them. scallops are delicious raw/rare inside; sear at high heat until the outside has a dark golden brown crust, remove pan from heat and flip scallops over for a few seconds, plate.
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Jun 15, 2012 07:48
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I'd like to make stuffed peppers this weekend, so I humbly request a totally kickass recipe that isn't a bunch of fancy-pants ingredients I have to find a mysterious black market grocery store for. Bonus points if I only have to assemble and throw in the crock pot for a few hours, but I'm not so lazy as to ignore other methods.
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Jun 15, 2012 08:36
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SpazmasterX posted:I'd like to make stuffed peppers this weekend, so I humbly request a totally kickass recipe that isn't a bunch of fancy-pants ingredients I have to find a mysterious black market grocery store for. Bonus points if I only have to assemble and throw in the crock pot for a few hours, but I'm not so lazy as to ignore other methods. stuffed peppers in a crock pot would just be a mush of undeveloped flavors. Sorry. Make Chile Rellenos.
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Jun 15, 2012 08:47
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