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Everyone please stop owning me
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Nov 29, 2019 19:36
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Stoatbringer posted:If you slap it fast enough it'll cook as you mash it.   This is still my favourite application of the pinnacle of human knowledge.
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Nov 29, 2019 19:38
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Nalesh posted:
No, cooking a turkey with potential energy is above that. My physics professor used to hand this out before Thanksgiving, in case the class wanted to try it. The footnotes are awesome.
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Nov 29, 2019 20:05
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Nalesh posted:
400ºF!?
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Nov 29, 2019 20:05
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The Ape of Naples posted:400ºF!? Yeah it was never funny to me cause I couldnt get to the math jokes when it's trying to cremate the meal.
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Nov 29, 2019 20:06
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Yeah start it at room temperature and only cook it to like 70 degrees and the numbers become a lot more reasonable!
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Nov 29, 2019 20:16
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mobby_6kl posted:Yeah start it at room temperature and only cook it to like 70 degrees and the numbers become a lot more reasonable! Or the recommended 165ºF (Or wait, did you mean 70ºC?)
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Nov 29, 2019 20:23
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I don't want a chicken cooked by a physics major that thinks a chicken has to reach a temperature of 400°F to be "cooked." Enjoy your dry piece of poo poo, nerd.
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Nov 29, 2019 20:34
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a more useful question would be "how many normal human-powered slaps do I need to give a chicken to slow cook it?"
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Nov 29, 2019 20:46
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Nalesh posted:
Thats 1.9x faster than an SR-71 going all out.
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Nov 29, 2019 20:51
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I choke mine until it's red hot
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Nov 29, 2019 22:29
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Beachcomber posted:Thats 1.9x faster than an SR-71 going all out. Wooow that's almost 2
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Nov 29, 2019 22:52
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Can someone recalculate first 165F? Because I don’t want to even be around a 400F chicken. I am sure the velocity of the slap is much more obtainable with the correct target temperature.
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Nov 29, 2019 23:04
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Also, isn't that calculation just for making the chicken reach the target temperature? You'd need to keep slapping it consistently at that velocity for at least 15 minutes per pound.
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Nov 29, 2019 23:16
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I like this one a lot.
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Nov 29, 2019 23:18
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Blind Rasputin posted:Can someone recalculate first 165F? Because I don’t want to even be around a 400F chicken. I am sure the velocity of the slap is much more obtainable with the correct target temperature. Quick and dirty number crunching (just like I like my chicken) that's 8300 slaps or somewhere around 1003 m/s (2244 mph) for the megaslap. e: overall cooking quality not guaranteed, of course Captain Hygiene has a new favorite as of 23:22 on Nov 29, 2019 |
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Nov 29, 2019 23:18
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Are you saying you don't like your turkey to be completely charred on the outside and raw on the inside?
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Nov 29, 2019 23:19
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RareAcumen posted:I like this one a lot. I hate it, it makes me reflexively clench my fist and check to make sure the veins are where they're supposed to be It's like some hosed-up stand ability
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Nov 29, 2019 23:20
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Who What Now posted:Are you saying you don't like your turkey to be completely charred on the outside and raw on the inside? You only eat the cooked pieces of turkey shrapnel. 
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Nov 29, 2019 23:32
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I remember reading an article about how the US air force shoots frozen turkeys at planes to test how they handle bird-strike.
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Nov 29, 2019 23:35
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Sanford posted:They gulp a mix of air and water which somewhat oxygenates the water in the mouth before they force it over the gills. It is a desperation thing - not how it is supposed to work. That's really interesting! Thanks!
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Nov 29, 2019 23:46
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NoNotTheMindProbe posted:I remember reading an article about how the US air force shoots frozen turkeys at planes to test how they handle bird-strike. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_gun
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Nov 30, 2019 00:06
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How many slaps does it take to cook a chicken? Just one, unless the bitch keeps mouthing off. Then two. Thank you thank you, I love performing here at the RNC but let me take a minute to talk seriously about men's right.
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Nov 30, 2019 01:08
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NtotheTC posted:a more useful question would be "how many normal human-powered slaps do I need to give a chicken to slow cook it?" Can you translate this to thighs slaps and rotational velocity, I have a team of naked virgins willing to repeatedly roll turkeys on their legs to cook them
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Nov 30, 2019 01:21
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Captain Hygiene posted:Quick and dirty number crunching (just like I like my chicken) that's 8300 slaps or somewhere around 1003 m/s (2244 mph) for the megaslap. 8300 sounds achievable with a hand cranked slapping machine
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Nov 30, 2019 01:24
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How do you cook a turkey with only the power of a cool stream? By adapting ancient water hammering and forging techniques. In this 30 part video series you'll follow me through ideation, testing, and refining this utterly useless endeavor. Were the results worth it? Only members of my Patreon will know the real answer!
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Nov 30, 2019 01:43
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Turkey slapper, ham slapper
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Nov 30, 2019 01:45
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NoNotTheMindProbe posted:I remember reading an article about how the US air force shoots frozen turkeys at planes to test how they handle bird-strike. "Gentlemen, thaw your chickens." This is also good advice for cooking fowl in general, and for deep-frying turkeys in specific.
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Nov 30, 2019 02:11
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Who What Now posted:You're bad to look at too, but we have the decency not to say it out loud! Turn on your monitor, and please be nicer to yourself  .
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Nov 30, 2019 02:38
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how much would you have to hambone a hambone to cook it?
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Nov 30, 2019 04:51
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alexandriao posted:8300 sounds achievable with a hand cranked slapping machine Has to be 8300 at once, or you'll be losing energy via radiation and conduction to the air and need more total slaps.
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Nov 30, 2019 04:58
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The Lone Badger posted:Has to be 8300 at once, or you'll be losing energy via radiation and conduction to the air and need more total slaps. Obviously you'll be applying the slaps in a vacuum to minimize heat loss, and they'll be distributed perfectly evenly about the chicken to ensure equal heating, as any good chef would do.
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Nov 30, 2019 05:14
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Krankenstyle posted:how much would you have to hambone a hambone to cook it? This information could very well save someone's life.
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Nov 30, 2019 05:17
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Captain Hygiene posted:Obviously you'll be applying the slaps in a vacuum to minimize heat loss, and they'll be distributed perfectly evenly about the chicken to ensure equal heating, as any good chef would do. Let's assume a spherical chicken...
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Nov 30, 2019 05:26
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https://media.giphy.com/media/jqeWqa1lXGPfbF3Rlk/giphy.mp4 https://twitter.com/whosdots/status/1185636657544007689?s=21    
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Nov 30, 2019 05:34
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He's so concerned. 
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Nov 30, 2019 06:47
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Nov 30, 2019 06:51
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Oh man, I didn't know animals could see splorange, or indigold. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PK8IWsX7K8&t=363s
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Nov 30, 2019 06:56
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Nov 30, 2019 07:20
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 02:32 |
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never seen a 1000 year old dog before
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Nov 30, 2019 08:38
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