r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

DreamingofRoses posted:

AITA for telling my family to shut up, get over themselves and to accept that I never wanted my son to have the names they like?

They said I didn't need to be so rude to get my point across

It is so god drat infuriating when people do this. If they just accepted "no" as an answer the first 5 times they heard it, OP wouldn't have needed to be so rude. OP is NTA btw.

# ? May 11, 2024 16:46

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# ? May 25, 2024 15:00

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Bruceski posted:

My family does that for tough cuts of meat like short ribs. Boil for a few hours, then toss on the grill or in the convection oven to finish them off, add sauce.

I did a batch basically unsauced the same way once out of curiosity and they tasted a little weird but fine if that's what you're expecting (and that is mostly because of my terrible attempt at gravy which only worked enough to make it "basically"). Haven't tried it with a steak but I get the cheap tough cuts often, so I think I will. I'm one of those weirdos who likes their steaks at least a light pink, boiling would help with that, so I suspect your dad is the same.

Connective tissue & collagen breaks down into gelatin above like 160-170F so boiling (ideally slow simmering) tough cuts makes them more tender + unctuous, and then grilling or frying them gets you your delicious Maillard reactions. It�s best to cook as close to 160-170 as you can (which is why sous vide is great) because hotter temps cook more internal juices out which means less flavor.

Steak doesn�t need the extra cooking because it�s generally already a tender cut with lots of fat and not a lot of connective tissue, and boiling it is just cooking flavor out and adding it to the water instead. If you want properly cooked medium-rare steak, you�re better off just learning how to better manage your heat & better judge when the steak is done.

# ? May 11, 2024 16:52

mystes: May 31, 2006

DreamingofRoses posted:

AITA for telling my family to shut up, get over themselves and to accept that I never wanted my son to have the names they like?

I don't understand how they even have that association with that name?

# ? May 11, 2024 16:53

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Note the bit where they told him he'd be damned for changing his own name.

# ? May 11, 2024 16:57

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Arsenic Lupin posted:

Note the bit where they told him he'd be damned for changing his own name.

I'm guessing OP escaped a cult where they worship Britain's Regency period or something? Those names do sound like they came out of a Jane Austen novel, except for Herbert, which to me sounds like the most stereotypical West Country farmer name.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:02

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

It�s Herbie Hancock, duh.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:13

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Fatty posted:

Maybe this food obsessed thread can solve a family problem for me. Just walked in on my dad grabbing a grey piece of meat from a boiling pan of water and throwing it onto a frying pan. When I asked him what he was doing he said it was "A boil and burn steak!". Is that an actual thing, or a sign of senility?

He's bought two steaks in his last shop, with the second being a really luxury aged one. How can I stop this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm4wd624RkE

# ? May 11, 2024 17:24

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

limp_cheese posted:

It is so god drat infuriating when people do this. If they just accepted "no" as an answer the first 5 times they heard it, OP wouldn't have needed to be so rude. OP is NTA btw.

I mean, they would be justified if the OP wanted to name their kid Pnurtis or something else extremely dumb and/or unpronounceable that would just cause them problems for their entire life. Callum is a historically classic name though.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:24

Safety Dance: Sep 10, 2007; Five degrees to starboard!

idiotsavant posted:

Steak doesn’t need the extra cooking because it’s generally already a tender cut with lots of fat and not a lot of connective tissue, and boiling it is just cooking flavor out and adding it to the water instead. If you want properly cooked medium-rare steak, you’re better off just learning how to better manage your heat & better judge when the steak is done.

On the other hand, I've seen bottom round "steaks" sold before, and that's absolutely a cut that benefits from a long slow braise to break down the connective tissue

# ? May 11, 2024 17:28

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Kurieg posted:

AITA for making my parents replace my "toys" they decided to give away.

No one is the arsehole here.

OP is rightfully demanding that his expensive keepsake/collectable be returned.
Nephew is a child handed some Lego and played with it.
Dad is understandably annoyed at the cost of what he thought was just a silly toy, (but is still replacing like for like)

Yeah it sucks for all concerned, but there is no clear villain here that I can see.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:29

CommissarMega: Nov 18, 2008; THUNDERDOME LOSER

Holy

Batman

quote:

Male boss is clueless about pregnancy

OMG this just now happened at work.

My boss is male. I have a male coworker in the next cube whose wife is pregnant, and is due within the next few weeks. Boss is trying to make coverage plans for this guy to be out of the office when the baby happens.

The boss literally tried to write the guy up because he "wouldn't" tell him exactly what day the delivery would happen.

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't hear it with my own ears!

quote:

Update 1

Holy poo poo. The idiot dude just did it again.

He finally got it into his head why my coworker can't name the specific date when his wife will go into labor.

Now he's trying to save face by being sympathetic with Mr. Father-to-Be.

Our office breakroom has a private "mother's room" where women can go pump if they need to.

Mr. Boss dude said to the father dude, literally, that he was sorry there wasn't an equivalent father's room. The dude legit thought that the mother's room was for an exhausted new mom to go nap. That one just earned him a march into his (female) boss' office. I'd love to be a fly on that wall.

quote:

Update 2
So, several of you asked for further updates about my idiot boss who, in the space of one hour yesterday revealed that he:

thought that pregnant women could predict the exact date their delivery would happen...

revealed his belief that our office's Mother's Room was for napping, not pumping

After #2 was revealed, he was immediately called into the (female) grandboss' office so she could set the record straight. Their meeting took about ten minutes, and then he came back into our work area.

Guys. It got so much worse from there. I had to delay posting this update until I found out what the final result would be.

He starts by admitting to everybody there (mostly male, I and one other person in the room were female) that he had misunderstood the purpose of the mother's room. OK, so far so good.

Then he took out his metaphorical shovel and started digging his hole even deeper. Turns out he also misunderstood the concept of lactation. The dude literally thought that all women are always lactating, all the time. As in: the breasts come in, the milk comes out, regardless of any woman's pregnancy or birthing status.

And then. Oh. My. God. The dude literally POINTS TO MY CHEST and says, "I mean, look at hers! Hers are really big, she should be in that room all the time but she's not!"

One of the men in the room immediately gives him a forceful "shut up!" I follow up with a spontaneous performance of four-letter beat poetry that would melt my phone if I tried to type it out.

One of my coworkers immediately went out to fetch the grandboss again. She got back into the room and escorted him out. We didn't see him the rest of the day.

I got to the office this morning and saw his personal items boxed up on his desk. Grandboss has already informed me that my now-ex boss will be coming to collect his items later today, and she gave me the opportunity to be elsewhere when he arrives.

Nope. I'm going to be here to watch him get fired. This will be glorious.

quote:

Final update
He came through just now to collect his box of stuff. He was escorted into our office by grandboss and our building's security guard. I was looking straight at him all the way through, trying to gauge his state of mind.

He looked appropriately humiliated. At one point he locked eyes with me, noticed my poo poo-eating grin, and looked like he was about to say something.

Mr. Male Coworker in the next cube (the one with the pregnant wife, whose interaction yesterday started this whole thing) had a video queued up on his desktop. At that exact moment he hit "play".

It's an eight-second clip of my hero George Takei, who said the only words that needed to be said to this guy.

He slumped, defeated, and slithered out of the building with his escort. Once he left the room, all of us just burst out laughing.

It's going to be a great weekend.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:33

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Safety Dance posted:

On the other hand, I've seen bottom round "steaks" sold before, and that's absolutely a cut that benefits from a long slow braise to break down the connective tissue

Yeah that sort of thing is what I get. My store doesn't even refer to the cut, just calls them "London broil". Get six pounds of beef in flat slabs for 12 bucks, slice them up and toss them in the freezer so that at the end of the day when my brain doesn't work I can just toss one in the oven with some potatoes and go lie down until they're done. End result is hardly the meat at its best, but it's edible.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:36

3D Megadoodoo: Nov 25, 2010

CommissarMega posted:

Holy Batman

Isn't there a STDH.TXT thread?

# ? May 11, 2024 17:37

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

BrigadierSensible posted:

No one is the arsehole here.

OP is rightfully demanding that his expensive keepsake/collectable be returned.
Nephew is a child handed some Lego and played with it.
Dad is understandably annoyed at the cost of what he thought was just a silly toy, (but is still replacing like for like)

Yeah it sucks for all concerned, but there is no clear villain here that I can see.

Eeeeeeeh. Grabbing and giving away somebody's stuff without asking first is a dick move. I get that the dad was very unlikely to understand the value of something he sees as a cheap toy, but can't really see it any differently than if you grabbed a baseball off somebody's wall to placate a kid and it turned out to actually be a rare collectible. Don't go grabbing poo poo.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:43

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

DreamingofRoses posted:

I think it was on the MIL to specify she meant Cool Whip and not just frozen whipped topping. Since we, as a culture, ubiquitously use brand names as a shorthand for the items themselves and not specifically the store brand (if I need a ready-made adhesive bandage with an absorbent pad inside I ask for a Band-Aid, Kleenex for facial tissue, large swathes of the US refer to any type of highly sweetened carbonated beverage as ‘Coke’ or ‘cola’, chapstick, Vaseline, Tupperware, etc…) it’s not unreasonable to think that, unless specified, a request for something like Cool Whip (which can only be one thing—a stabilized frozen whipped topping) is a request for that general type of item and that if you can’t get the original any will do.

This is my thing - sure it can be store brand, but it has to be the right grocery item.

Store brand whipped cream isn't a Cool Whip substitute, the store brand frozen whipped topping is the Cool Whip substitute. He literally got a different item.

It's like bringing home buttermilk because someone asked you to pick up milk.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:48

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The Sandlot was a documentary.

# ? May 11, 2024 17:49

mystes: May 31, 2006

StrangersInTheNight posted:

This is my thing - sure it can be store brand, but it has to be the right grocery item.

Store brand whipped cream isn't a Cool Whip substitute, the store brand frozen whipped topping is the Cool Whip substitute. He literally got a different item.

It's like bringing home buttermilk because someone asked you to pick up milk.

OP bought "the store brand�s 'whipped topping'" which I assumed is a cool whip substitute. Was there a clarification in the post that it wasn't?

E.g. I was imagining something like this:

mystes fucked around with this message at 17:57 on May 11, 2024

# ? May 11, 2024 17:55

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Kurieg posted:

AITA for making my parents replace my "toys" they decided to give away.

OP is the rear end in a top hat for getting a double of each set for resale purposes

# ? May 11, 2024 17:57

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

StrangersInTheNight posted:

This is my thing - sure it can be store brand, but it has to be the right grocery item.

Store brand whipped cream isn't a Cool Whip substitute, the store brand frozen whipped topping is the Cool Whip substitute. He literally got a different item.

It's like bringing home buttermilk because someone asked you to pick up milk.

You should probably read the post again.

# ? May 11, 2024 18:00

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Ah yeah that's totally my bad, the conversation delved so much into whipped cream that I misremembered the original post, apologies. So yeh, Mom crazy then.

# ? May 11, 2024 18:02

mystes: May 31, 2006

I think OP needs to get a panel of reddit posters to do a blind taste test of cool whip versus the generic brand

# ? May 11, 2024 18:04

Old Woman Island: Feb 21, 2011

DreamingofRoses posted:

AITA for telling my family to shut up, get over themselves and to accept that I never wanted my son to have the names they like?

Well I was not expecting to see my deadname under the spoiler tag lol.

Also no-one I've known with that name has liked the shortened version at all, myself included.

# ? May 11, 2024 18:08

Magic Hate Ball: May 6, 2007; ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this

The funniest thing about the cool whip problem is that the only recipes where cool whip is a central ingredient are poo poo like ambrosia. You mean the mini marshmallows, mandarin slices, and maraschino cherries have to share a bowl with off brand whipped sweetened hydrogenated vegetable oil? The flavor will be ruined!!

# ? May 11, 2024 18:11

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; Ultra Carp

house of the dad posted:

Eeeeeeeh. Grabbing and giving away somebody's stuff without asking first is a dick move. I get that the dad was very unlikely to understand the value of something he sees as a cheap toy, but can't really see it any differently than if you grabbed a baseball off somebody's wall to placate a kid and it turned out to actually be a rare collectible. Don't go grabbing poo poo.

Yeah. If Dad respected his son he would have asked first. He doesn't, which is the conflict here

# ? May 11, 2024 18:14

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

A new one from a different sub. Search the title for the comments because they are outrageous!

I want to consult with someone about being a juror

quote:

Next week I got jury duty but instead of just reporting blindly, I want to consult with someone about this. I was thinking of a lawyer but am willing to speak with any professional about this subject.

If you are wondering why, I just want more thorough information about this from an actual human being. I have questions about conduct, attire, procedure, and opinions I have such as I don't believe a person can truly be unbiased. I would rather have a professional answer the and I want to actually speak to such a person not just read articles on the matter.

I'm searching for a lawyer to consult with but I'm new so I'm not certain who exactly I should consult with.

Here is a sample of his comments:

quote:

I can understand the point of the jury system, but I do not desire to be a pleb for the system. I would rather get instructions that will take me beyond that of the main populace. I want to be elevated to as high as a citizen as I can short of one who actually has an academic background in the law. To seek for the knowledge that is out of reach of those who will not elevate themselves by their own choosing. To only follow the instructions is not the style I wish to prance into. I want to be in charge of my own summoning. I want to show that I not only take this seriously but I will not be influenced by outside forces as well, and to show that they may have summoned me but I am a human being, not some kind of machine. If they want an unbiased jury, automate it with robots. They summoned a human and as a human, I have many options beforehand. For certain, I am limited in what I can do, there are procedures, after all, so I want to be at the rim of that limit. So no, it is not enough to just get instructed by that which indoctrinates, I want to be instructed by a professional who can take me to the next level as both a citizen and a juror.

# ? May 11, 2024 18:33

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

I wonder if I could annoy the judge enough to be kicked out of the jury pool next time that comes around

# ? May 11, 2024 18:37

Rockman Reserve: Oct 2, 2007; "Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

god somebody give that dweeb a loving swirlie

# ? May 11, 2024 18:37

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Tell all that to the court and your jury problems will be solved very quickly

# ? May 11, 2024 18:39

mystes: May 31, 2006

Captain Hygiene posted:

I wonder if I could annoy the judge enough to be kicked out of the jury pool next time that comes around

Easily if you start talking like that guy

# ? May 11, 2024 18:46

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Odd posted:

A new one from a different sub. Search the title for the comments because they are outrageous!

I want to consult with someone about being a juror

Here is a sample of his comments:

wanna see this guy's meltdown when he gets rejected by either the defense or prosecution during selection.

# ? May 11, 2024 18:52

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

haveblue posted:

Tell all that to the court and your jury problems will be solved very quickly

Hahaha, I had the exact same thought. How to get immediately dismissed in one easy step

# ? May 11, 2024 19:02

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

Odd posted:

A new one from a different sub. Search the title for the comments because they are outrageous!

I want to consult with someone about being a juror

Here is a sample of his comments:

3 weeks later

quote:

They never called me. I waited 3 days and then it was over.

# ? May 11, 2024 19:04

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

When I was a young man I thought it would be interesting to be a on a jury and my parents told me to go ask Grandma what it was like, she had been on one.

So I go ask grandma if being on a jury was interesting and she turns white and threw me out of the house.

She was on the jury for :nws:

[url] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Gene_Simmons[/url] :nws:

# ? May 11, 2024 19:24

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

tactlessbastard posted:

When I was a young man I thought it would be interesting to be a on a jury and my parents told me to go ask Grandma what it was like, she had been on one.

So I go ask grandma if being on a jury was interesting and she turns white and threw me out of the house.

She was on the jury for [url] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Gene_Simmons[/url]

God drat

# ? May 11, 2024 19:31

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

tactlessbastard posted:

When I was a young man I thought it would be interesting to be a on a jury and my parents told me to go ask Grandma what it was like, she had been on one.

Your parents don't like your Grandma, do they?

# ? May 11, 2024 19:33

Modal Auxiliary: Jan 14, 2005

tactlessbastard posted:

When I was a young man I thought it would be interesting to be a on a jury and my parents told me to go ask Grandma what it was like, she had been on one.

So I go ask grandma if being on a jury was interesting and she turns white and threw me out of the house.

She was on the jury for [url] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ronald_Gene_Simmons[/url]

than

imo. loving yikes.

# ? May 11, 2024 19:34

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

r/relationships: they said I damned myself when I changed my name, which is now Jamie

# ? May 11, 2024 19:42

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

At the risk of setting off the thread again:

Update: AITAH for wanting to leave my wife because she had a �go bag�?

quote:

I made a post 3 months ago but it was removed before I deleted my account. It has been cross-posted literally everywhere that I think you guys will have no problem finding it if you are interested.

After I made my first post, I decided to officially ask for divorce. She did not take it well. She cried and refused to eat food for two days until I filled the house with candy bars. She hasnt pulled that kind of stunt after that thankfully.

For past 3 months I have to endure her crying, begging me to change my mind. She promised to never make a "go bag" again. Honestly the previous post has been eye opening to me. People here called me an abuser when I never did anything to abusive. I read every comment posted here, on other subreddits, and it seems like people will call me abuser no matter what. Some people even made up stories to paint me in bad light.

It seems that general sentiment is that its okay to mistrust men because statistics and if he complains about it, he is potentially an abuser. Why is it wrong to want to be trusted by your own wife? If I made her get rid of her "go bag", I am as good as an abuser in all of your eyes. It seems like I will be painted as an abuser unless proven otherwise. I just dont know how to prove a negative, its not like I can wear a camera all the time.

Initially my feelings were very hurt but now I am realizing the gravity of situation I am in. I just cant risk my future on a wife who does not trust me because her mere act of making a go bag was used by people here to paint me as an abuser. They said that she must have reason to make a "go bag".

How was it my fault that she read some blogs and decided to do it. I never did anything and yet people are just gonna accuse me even if I didnt do anything. You guys dont care what the truth is so what am I even supposed to do? My only choice is to leave.

I have finally moved out yesterday and I am pushing forward with divorce. I would like things to be amicable but my wife is still hellbent on stopping the divorce so that is a pipe dream for now. I am hoping when divorce becomes real, she will accept the reality

# ? May 11, 2024 19:43

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

big dyke energy posted:

There's taffy apple salad, which is red and green apples, crushed pineapple, peanuts a whipped topping, and snickers salad is the same thing without pineapple or peanuts. If you ask me anyway. My mom made taffy apple salad every summer for parties...I miss that poo poo, I'm going to make some myself. And use better apples than loving red delicious.

the peanuts are in the snickers

# ? May 11, 2024 19:48

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# ? May 25, 2024 15:00

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

DreamingofRoses posted:

At the risk of setting off the thread again:

Update: AITAH for wanting to leave my wife because she had a �go bag�?

I love that reddit is, rightfully, skewering him for his idiotic views and doubly so for blaming reddit in any capacity.

# ? May 11, 2024 19:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

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