Draconi Ann posted:

When denied orgasm the male becomes very attached to the female. You can still get hard in the cage, depending on the kind some people can even orgasm through it.

...or so I've heard.

alpaca diseases posted:

Hate to break it to you murderboner goon but it's actually incredibly likely the staff actually would remember your awkward weirdo rear end trying to inconspicuously follow a murder victim out of the bar

loquacius posted:

Someone didn't like the thread's conversation about his fesh

..These idiots pull out Wikipedia articles about captured criminals...

Melvin posted:

People get away with bar fights all the time. Now picture that instead of calling someone out, you just follow them out and stab them in an alley instead of just kicking their rear end.

alpaca diseases posted:

Hate to break it to you murderboner goon but it's actually incredibly likely the staff actually would remember your awkward weirdo rear end trying to inconspicuously follow a murder victim out of the bar

Anton Chigurh posted:

Not to mention there are security cameras almost everywhere these days in public places, especially bars.

Murderboner goon is likely just another edgy, lonely neckbeard who typed his confession with one hand.

syscall girl posted:

Apropos of basically nothing I watched the teevee news this evening before Colbert and the way the security cam footage looked was shameful.

We're getting beaten in the Five Eyes dept. by Australia and New Zealand at this point.

It's natural that England gets clearer footage of chavs but wtf America?

necroid posted:

so was that confession about Trump's potential impeachment due to russian ties legit? I'm reading lots of news about it here in Europe and I was wondering if it was sent before any word about it had got out in the US.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Even if he does get impeached you can safely assume that confession was fake. It didn't take a genius to predict that he'd get impeached...countless people have been doing it since well before he even got elected.

AvP writer guy posted:

But I think we did a lot of good work so I want to share some stuff.

maskenfreiheit posted:

vegas has given negative odds on him finishing his term, and they have better quants than wall street since they are actually punished by the market when they're wrong

quote:

I have a problem with gossiping. Nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like when I get someone to trust me and get them to spill all the juicy details on something, with the promise that I don't tell a soul. As soon as I find out, I tell everyone I think will find it interesting. When I get confronted I just deny it and blame their other close friends and turn them against each other. It's not a sexual thing but the only way I can describe it is being turned on by the drama. I love seeing friendships go up in flames, especially if it benefits me.

quote:

I only date women who are really dumb. Not originally by design, in high school I dated a few girls. I found that I argued less with the dumb ones. They just kind of agreed with me since they didn't really have their own opinions on things.

I've been in a 3 year relationship with a really nice and sweet but completely idiotic girl. She doesn't understand basic math and science stuff. She asked me the other day how gravity worked, she can't make change or figure out tips. She doesn't understand politics and keeps asking me every night to explain what's going on with Trump.

But my opinions are hers and that's awesome. If I like a movie, she does too. If she doesn't like it, I tell her why it's a good movie and she just trusts me. We don't have deep conversations but I don't like those anyway. I'll probably marry her and have some dumb kids too.

loquacius posted:

I think maybe turning people against each other is probably less successful at removing you from suspicion than you'd think

quote:

I've been in a 3 year relationship with a really nice and sweet but completely idiotic girl. She doesn't understand basic math and science stuff. She asked me the other day how gravity worked, she can't make change or figure out tips. She doesn't understand politics and keeps asking me every night to explain what's going on with Trump.

But my opinions are hers and that's awesome. If I like a movie, she does too. If she doesn't like it, I tell her why it's a good movie and she just trusts me. We don't have deep conversations but I don't like those anyway. I'll probably marry her and have some dumb kids too

loquacius posted:

The cable/bandwidth industry is super evil and ripping them off is actually as heroic of a public service as helping a battered woman escape her husband


You can object to things your grandpa does without condemning him entirely as a person. Try doing that with some of your relatives that you trust more or feel are less likely to take offense -- your mom and uncle are good bets here -- and see if the resulting conversation helps you feel any better.

Also we've got a followup from Carl's boss.


what

in what universe can you not fire someone who caused their boss to get emails of their wide open rear end in a top hat because the entire HR department is also fired? Just ask the guys who fired HR to fire Carl. "Yes, we're going to have a problem. Fire him please." This isn't complicated.

loquacius posted:

gross

I say fire him, it's the only way he'll learn to separate serious stuff from fetish stuff. Who knows how much money this woman or others like her have extracted from him.

also giving implicit consent to someone to send you these images is kind of functionally equivalent to doing it himself as far as workplace professionalism


You could just say "confession: I have a pee fetish", this is a weird way to say that. Like not even creepy weird, just weird weird

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Glorious, I want to get that entire email tattooed on my arm inside my rear end

Fartbox posted:

A white society is a safe society!

*ignores eastern europe*

Fartbox posted:

Fartbox posted:

quote:

Back in high school I was a really lonely loser and, looking back, it was almost entirely my fault. This is a confession about the time I broke into a girl's house, ended up going to juvie, and finally got my head on straight.

There was a girl in my trig class I had a big crush on. She talked to me sometimes, that was enough to convince me she had a crush on me too. I awkwardly approached her one day after class, asked her out, and she very nicely told me no.

I was crushed but didn't show it to her, I just went home and laid around feeling like poo poo for a weekend. Then I had the genius idea to "show my worth to her". I literally wrote that down in my journal. That journal is the cringiest poo poo and I swear my virginity grows back if I read it for too long.

Anyway a few days after the rejection I had the bright idea to go to her house, give her flowers, and fix some stuff around her house to prove I was a good boyfriend. I had no idea where she lived, but it was easy enough to figure it out. Got her phone number off facebook, used whitepages.com to find the address. The next day I called off sick from school and went to her house. Nobody was home so I broke in the back door.

I laid a bunch of rose petals around her bedroom and left a note about how she may have rejected me once, but I was going to prove I was worth her time. Yeah, this is serial killer poo poo but I did it. I fixed the door and left, and that evening the cops came by my parent's house.

I spent some time in juvenile hall and had to finish my high school career with a tutor. Never saw this girl again, which was for the best.

I'm now 20 years old and definitely much more well adjusted.

quote:

To continue with the sub / cuck theme: earlier in the week I randomly hosed some guy's wife while he filmed it.

That evening I checked out a CL ad that seemed genuine, sent a few emails back and forth with questions / details / photos, reverse-image searched for security then headed over to meet around a couple of hours after the initial message. I only brought condoms and my lovely phone, so I didn't have anything worth stealing.

He had already let me know how he wanted it to play out, and we vaguely stayed on "script" for 30 minutes before we finished. I didn't speak to the wife at all, apart from some dirty talk while we were having fun, and she definitely seemed to be enjoying herself.

He was moving around the bed with his camera during the session, but I barely even noticed him at all... I did request no close-ups because I didn't want the distraction and he was cool with that. It was my first time being filmed and loving with another dude present, but it turns out I'm completely comfortable with that.

She did have a ring on that finger, so I'm pretty sure it was his wife rather than someone he'd hired. She was clean, the place was clean and I showered up beforehand, so all in all it was more fun than jerking off that evening. The End.

Doctor Malaver posted:

Regardless of how much neighbors and family kill each other in Russia over drunken disputes, it doesn't translate to crime a random person could be involved in. You are safer from mugging, pickpocketing, burglary and random street crime in Zagreb, Prague or St Peterburg than Dublin, Paris or Milan.

Doctor Malaver posted:

Regardless of how much neighbors and family kill each other in Russia over drunken disputes,

Police Automaton posted:

You forgot to bring her a printer, breaking-and-entering goon. Rookie mistake.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

You're an idiot

quote:

I am in love (not LUST, definite LOVE) with a celebrity.

Normally when you love someone you tell them and they say Yes or NO and you start dating or stop talking, right? Not in this case, since it is VERY difficult to reach my love. Her name is Paige and she's a wrestler and sadly was hacked in the latest massive Cloud breach but she's still the girl I love.

I tried to reach her at a WWE show some years ago but I waited all night in the parking lot and never saw her. Eventually a PIG asked me to leave and I was forced to go home, my heart heavy knowing I had so much to share with this girl that I had yet to meet yet. I had another run in with the law. I travelled to lovely Florida to visit her at the WWE PErformance Center, which is basically her local gym. I was actually arrested for trying to enter, which is insane and was just more proof to me that this girl was worth the extra work and pain and suffering.

I was tracking her location based on WWE shows but then she had to GO and get herself on the shitlist and now she doesn't tour with WWE anymore. And she had to go and marry some illegal mexican bastard. But I still follow her on facebook and twitter and instagram and I love her so much and I can JSUT TELL she's not happy with him. I know all of her interests and hobbies and I will show her this soon.

POSTED ANONYMOUSLY BECAUSE I"M CURRENTLY BANNED FROM THESE FORUMS BECAUSE YOU CAN"T SUPPROT TRUMP ON THESE LIBERAL SAFESPACE DUMBSHIT SFORUMS

quote:

I have a pretty radical political belief on how to fix things. I have posted this in several other subforums and am constantly called a racist or troll, but I think it would fix things.

We all know each type of person has certain skills and weakness, just like in an RPG. For me, I have super high intelligence but am weak in physical things and have no charisma. I am strong enough to admit that.

We should have a test set up after high school, when you've fully developed as a person. It would rank you in all the important attributes. I'm thinking Intelligence, Appearance, Strength, Speed, Endurance, and Charisma. But obviously we would ask the scientists to really think about this.

You would be ranked and rated and assigned a job category based on that. High intelligence? Welcome to college and the sciences. High charisma? You are a salesman or maybe an actor. High appearance? A model or perhaps a prostitute.

That's where I get trolled a lot. A lot of incels have high intelligence but low appearance and charisma. This causes a lot of stress and prevents them from achieving their potential. If we assign a prostitute (high appearance and low intelligence) to a scientist (high intelligence and low appearance) we get a good team up. This would also lead to children with high skills in everything, which is good for society. Anybody could marry anyone, of course, but there would be economic incentives for marrying and having children with those of a different working class.

My hope is that within 5-10 generations we would be breeding children who are all average to above average in all aspects, which would push society to a utopia. It would also eliminate bullying since you wouldn't have a bunch of strong kids bullying a smart kid. They would all be equal.

Obviously there would be those who argue against this, mostly feminists and racists. We would set up an area for them to live outside of our Utopia. It would be interesting to see how their society would progress without our strict testing and job assignments and selective breeding.

My guess is it would be like comparing Detroit to Palm Beach Florida. One place creates a President, the other one I wouldn't drive through in a bullet proof car lol.

Mr. Brotch posted:

We should have a test set up after high school, when you've fully developed as a person. It would rank you in all the important attributes. I'm thinking Intelligence, Appearance, Strength, Speed, Endurance, and Charisma. But obviously we would ask the scientists to really think about this.