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Thanks George, now I've got some raging blueballs that won't be satisfied until the next book comes out. It's never coming out
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 04:49 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 14:37 |
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He's already written the whole thing and is gonna drop it this summer with a big gently caress ALL Y'ALL
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 04:58 |
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Joramun posted:You're missing the point. A couple of ASoIaF females (at least Cersei, Asha and Arianne, IIRC?) literally wish they were men at several instances in the books. Eh, from what I remember Asha and Arianne were (well, Asha is, Arianne was) pissed because they felt they would have been the clear heirs to their respective thrones had they been men instead. Contrast that to Cersei, who seems to have so internalized the formal superiority of men over women that she actively fantasizes about having a penis.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:01 |
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Maytag posted:He's already written the whole thing and is gonna drop it this summer with a big gently caress ALL Y'ALL If he did something like this and the book was good and he revealed he worked feverishly on it from the moment he finished Dance, I would forgive him of all his sins past present and future.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:02 |
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Your hope just sweetens the tears to come.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:04 |
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I bet he's completed the whole series over the past six years and been fooling us the entire time and it'll be four volumes in a box set that costs $500. Also he's lost a ton of weight and looks like a neckbearded Sean Connery.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:07 |
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Maytag posted:He's already written the whole thing and is gonna drop it this summer with a big gently caress ALL Y'ALL A loving of Face: Book 6 of A Song of Ice & Fire
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:29 |
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GOON PROJECT: Let's write a satisfying ending to A Song of Ice and Fire.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:33 |
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Too much work, would rather see more poo poo book covers or get around to actually singing -- I keep forgetting to sing and then it gets super-late and I am sleepy when I do remember.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:34 |
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Contra Calculus posted:GOON PROJECT: Let's write a satisfying ending to A Song of Ice and Fire. The comet come back and hits the planet, everyone dies.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:36 |
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What is this? Optimism? GRRM is just doing this to keep us distracted through the end of football season when he reveals he won't write another word until 2013.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:36 |
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my cat is norris posted:Too much work, would rather see more poo poo book covers or get around to actually singing -- I keep forgetting to sing and then it gets super-late and I am sleepy when I do remember. Oh, come on! Don't have that attitude. Just think of those TENS of people that worked on Zyborne Clock. That panned out well, remember?
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:37 |
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The comet was actually Meteor being cast by Sephiroth, and Jon Cloud has to fight him beyond the wall while One Winged Angel plays.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 05:38 |
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Not going to read that poo poo, never let a fat man grab your balls, my daddy always said, unless you are said fat man. Then grab them as much as you want. Whether the purported levels of misogyny involve authorial intent or not, its still kind of awkward. And the bad thread has given me more entertainment than the actual books have at this point.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 06:03 |
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basx posted:Ah, a cover that you can accurately judge the last two ASOIAF books by, as they've done nothing but blueball us.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 06:29 |
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Contra Calculus posted:GOON PROJECT: Let's write a satisfying ending to A Song of Ice and Fire. Dragons eat Dany, completing the circle of mother-children-mother; one takes Tyrion to where whores go (it is Cersei's bedchamber), another tries to go to Arya but gets confused and hangs out with Jeyne Poole on the comet for the rest of eternity, the third is death-warged into by Bran after Jon Snow is resurrected as Wight King and kills him. Theon and Ramsay turn Winterfell into an S&M brothel, Darkstar and Brienne team up to first look for lost girls then kill them with swords, Aegon is revealed, upon his death, to be Joffrey with his hair dyed blue, Sam becomes a maester and makes a new hand for Jaime but it's always flipping people the bird and is even more useless. Tommen turns out to be AA reborn but spends all day playing with kittens and riding on his horse so Margaery has to do all of the work, but it turns out she was secretly a man the whole time so it's okay. The last book should seriously be that on a piece of paper.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 06:33 |
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I liked how this new Theon chapter filled the quota for lemoncakes, 'words are wind', and 'must needs' all in one fell swoop. Also liked seeing Theon slowly returning back to his old self, giggling and smiling at himself and whatnot, though that could just be him going nuts.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 07:07 |
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I actually kinda like my new avatar.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 07:31 |
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Contra Calculus posted:Oh, come on! Don't have that attitude. Just think of those TENS of people that worked on Zyborne Clock. That panned out well, remember? I'm down. I'll shitdick some ideas tomorrow.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 08:16 |
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Contra Calculus posted:Oh, come on! Don't have that attitude. Just think of those TENS of people that worked on Zyborne Clock. That panned out well, remember? I'll help, and by that I mean I will put forth a half assed attempt to brainstorm while playing Mass Effect 2 as the charming Commander Daario Shepard.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 09:11 |
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I'll help, and by that I mean I will complain that you've not finished it already because you're too busy complaining about GRRM and eating
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 09:22 |
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Martin Van Buren posted:I liked how this new Theon chapter filled the quota for lemoncakes, 'words are wind', and 'must needs' all in one fell swoop. Also liked seeing Theon slowly returning back to his old self, giggling and smiling at himself and whatnot, though that could just be him going nuts. Don't forget the new quotas for "Jeyne. Her name is Jeyne"
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 16:05 |
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St0rmD posted:Don't forget the new quotas for "Jeyne. Her name is Jeyne" "You have to know your name."
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 16:08 |
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He's really alluding to some serious high fantasy poo poo at the end of the new chapter with the ravens going apeshit.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 16:14 |
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Lenin Stimpy posted:He's really alluding to some serious high fantasy poo poo at the end of the new chapter with the ravens going apeshit. I wonder what Bran is going to do with that drat tree.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 16:32 |
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Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with me and Bolton be runnin' a train Edit: This sample chapter is shockingly non-lovely, but maybe it's just my man-crush on Stannis. Intel&Sebastian fucked around with this message at 17:42 on Dec 29, 2011 |
# ? Dec 29, 2011 17:32 |
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Mr Crustacean posted:I wonder what Bran is going to do with that drat tree. deus ex bran
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 18:11 |
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crazypeltast52 posted:What is this? Optimism? GRRM is just doing this to keep us distracted through the end of football season when he reveals he won't write another word until 2013. As far as I know Martin already declared he wouldn't write anything till January 2012 (it was on a interview). And that sample character is probably something that was already written before the release of ADWD.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 19:50 |
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I have a bad feeling this book is going to become the Stannis Show and end with his horrible death undoing all the good stuff he was up to.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 19:53 |
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Intel&Sebastian posted:I have a bad feeling this book is going to become the Stannis Show and end with his horrible death undoing all the good stuff he was up to. If Mel decides Jon is the one she's been looking for all this time, it eliminates almost any reason for Stannis to continue to exist should he retake Winterfell. I have a feeling he dies early and Mel takes up his host and turns it into the red priest's army.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 20:29 |
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Arms_Akimbo posted:If Mel decides Jon is the one she's been looking for all this time, it eliminates almost any reason for Stannis to continue to exist
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 20:50 |
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The character. What purpose does he serve to the story if he's not Azor Ahai? The Lannisters are on the brink of self destruction and the Tyrells will probably tip Cersei off the edge. Given the fact that its winter, it's probably now 6-8 weeks from Winterfell to King's Landing, so how much influence on the events there is he going to have? That excerpt makes a case that he'd make a good king in the north, but if Jon comes back and isn't still bound by the Night's Watch, I'm guessing the north bends to him before Stannis. Unless I'm missing something major, him taking Winterfell feels like the last thing of value he can provide.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:13 |
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kcroy posted:I'm down. I'll shitdick some ideas tomorrow. bigmcgaffney posted:I'll help, and by that I mean I will put forth a half assed attempt to brainstorm while playing Mass Effect 2 as the charming Commander Daario Shepard. whowhatwhere posted:I'll help, and by that I mean I will complain that you've not finished it already because you're too busy complaining about GRRM and eating All right let's get this poo poo on the road. FIRST OF ALL: We need to make it steampunk. Making anything steampunk makes everything better according to every goon I've ever talked to and they never lie. SECOND: We need to make sure we add in a political commentary about the Obama administration and gun control. We need to be topical of course. Okay, those are my only two rules.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:24 |
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Stannis still has a rightful claim to the throne, he's the last widely-known Baratheon still standing and he's possibly the only "good" character who's ruthless and uncaring enough to actually hold power. Has to count for something. Which means it probably won't.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:39 |
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Intel&Sebastian posted:Stannis still has a rightful claim to the throne, he's the last widely-known Baratheon still standing
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:42 |
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I'm assuming they're going to get outed as incest-kids somewhere down the line.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:46 |
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Joramun posted:Even though the cat (or kitten, if you please) is well out of the bag by now, don't Tommen and Myrcella officially still count? They're underage, so Stannis could easily step in as regent and then have them disposed of as being incest kids. He should have done this immediately when he learned of everything, really. Stannis. Kind of dumb. Balls of steel, though.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 21:55 |
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Intel&Sebastian posted:Stannis still has a rightful claim to the throne, he's the last widely-known Baratheon still standing and he's possibly the only "good" character who's ruthless and uncaring enough to actually hold power. Has to count for something. Which means it probably won't. Undead Jon might have the slightly harder edge he needs to beat out Stannis in suitability for rule. He's also got connections in the Citadel with Sam, the Faceless Men with Arya, the North in general with the Stark blood, a power-warger with Bran, the Red God with Melisandre (and possibly Catelyn), beyond-the-wall from his wildlings jaunt, a rapport with Stannis, and a connection to the Vale through Sansa. With his likely Targ status gaining him Southern support and possibly an alliance with Dany and dragons, I don't see any way in which Stannis is the end-point. He's just another obstacle. The Lannisters (and maybe Freys) would be about the only dudes left with whom Jon has no connection, and I guess the Tyrells might oppose him if it would threaten Maergery. It seems like the books have mostly been an exercise in flinging out everyone Jon Snow knows or has connection with to various places to make sure the pieces are in place for his glorious ascension. Edit: I guess even Tyrion and Jon left on terms of mutual understanding, so maybe he'll even have (outcast) Lannister support after Jaime offs Cersei. Sophia fucked around with this message at 22:10 on Dec 29, 2011 |
# ? Dec 29, 2011 22:05 |
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Yeah I've always had a feeling that him being the only one who actually cares about how bad the OTHERS problem is probably sets him up in important ways. It's the song of ice and fire y'know.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 22:07 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 14:37 |
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Intel&Sebastian posted:Yeah I've always had a feeling that him being the only one who actually cares about how bad the OTHERS problem is probably sets him up in important ways. It's the song of ice and fire y'know. Yeah, he just needs to actually get to the loving point of actually FIGHTING them. Goddamn, I thought that's what he'd be doing in ADWD and NOPE! He just contemplates whether he wants the Wildlings and gets stabbed. Good pacing, George.
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# ? Dec 29, 2011 23:07 |