ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Fog Tripper posted:

Gay Badass and already has his death all planned out.
or DOES he???????

Gay badass with rock zombie leprosy.

# ? Dec 30, 2011 21:55

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 21:56

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

IRQ posted:

Gay badass with rock zombie leprosy.

I thought I wandered into a Mars Volta thread for a second there.

# ? Dec 30, 2011 22:04

Joramun: Dec 1, 2011; No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

IRQ posted:

Gay badass with rock zombie leprosy.

Let's hope it is the non-lethal strain that also inflicted Shireen Baratheon, if a little girl can beat the stone aids then so can our badass poof.

# ? Dec 30, 2011 22:09

Intel&Sebastian: Oct 20, 2002; colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!

Joramun posted:

Let's hope it is the non-lethal strain that also inflicted Shireen Baratheon, if a little girl can beat the stone aids then so can our badass poof.

I think it's been established that kids usually survive it but if you get it when you're old you're hosed

# ? Dec 30, 2011 22:26

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Well the Targs got kicked out via battle and everyone pledged to Robert...which got firmly established over at least 15 years. Selmy, Connington, Aegon, Illyrio, Varys and Dany are the only people in the whole world who still think they have a legit claim to the throne as far as we know.

I don't think it's really just a pride issue, his family took the throne about as fairly and squarely as you're going to get in this world. I still think he never initially set out to be a king but when it's either that, some incestual money grubbers, or the Targaryeans he's gonna pick himself.

True. On the other side, Stannis straight-up told Davos that he felt hugely conflicted when Robert rebelled against his rightful king.

IRQ posted:

Gay badass with rock zombie leprosy.

Just wait until it spreads to his dick :awesome:

# ? Dec 30, 2011 23:04

Ballz: Dec 16, 2003; it's mario time

Joramun posted:

Let's hope it is the non-lethal strain that also inflicted Shireen Baratheon, if a little girl can beat the stone aids then so can our badass poof.

Doesn't Val seem convinced that it will ultimately kill her anyways once she's older?

# ? Dec 30, 2011 23:50

Joramun: Dec 1, 2011; No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

Ballz posted:

Doesn't Val seem convinced that it will ultimately kill her anyways once she's older?

Pft, Val knows nothing.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 00:05

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

IRQ posted:

Gay badass with rock lobster leprosy.

I would be far more enthused with this.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 01:08

basx: Aug 16, 2004; Sassy old man!

NihilCredo posted:

True. On the other side, Stannis straight-up told Davos that he felt hugely conflicted when Robert rebelled against his rightful king.

Just wait until it spreads to his dick

This begs the question: Would Loras get up on that?

# ? Dec 31, 2011 01:34

Joramun: Dec 1, 2011; No man has need of candles when the Sun awaits him.

basx posted:

This begs the question: Would Loras get up on that?

Is Loras even Jon's type? And even if he is, he seems resigned to just pine for Rhaegar for the rest of eternity.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 01:41

IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

Loras doesn't have anime hair so no.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 02:21

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

Ballz posted:

Doesn't Val seem convinced that it will ultimately kill her anyways once she's older?

Val seemed convinced that there was something worse than that, from the way I read it.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 02:50

Conduit for Sale!: Apr 17, 2007

literallyincredible posted:

and NYTimes reviewer quotes like "Martin is the next Balzac or Dickens"

Did someone really say that? Are they like the book equivalent of that guy whose quote is always on a movie poster saying it's incredible no matter the quality of the movie? I forget that guy's name.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 03:05

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

basx posted:

This begs the question: Would Loras get up on that?

Loras? Pshhhhh.

Lancel? :swoon:

# ? Dec 31, 2011 05:12

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

Greyscale: the ultimate STD.

I wonder what greyscale of the throat/colon would be like.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 06:49

Octy: Apr 1, 2010

MikeJF posted:

Val seemed convinced that there was something worse than that, from the way I read it.

Sometimes I wish George R.R. Martin would just be a little more direct and not beat about the bushes for 2000 pages the way he has with Qyburn.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 07:48

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

whowhatwhere posted:

Greyscale: the ultimate STD.

I wonder what greyscale of the throat/colon would be like.

Probably like that fanfic of someone (Jaime?) throatfucking Lady Stoneheart, but without the smell of putrefaction.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 08:39

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Joramun posted:

Is Loras even Jon's type? And even if he is, he seems resigned to just pine for Rhaegar for the rest of eternity.

Pinning or not, I think Jon prefers guys who still have skin. Like Dolorous Edd, in fact, Edd should get on with Jon instead of Jon just to throw off people.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 12:38

zocio: Nov 3, 2011

No Jon, Edd said, i don't think we should do that with my luck my rectum would turn to stone first.
Jon pondered on that for a minute before grabing a torch and storming that castle's back gate.
A griffin! A griffin!

# ? Dec 31, 2011 14:24

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Octy posted:

Sometimes I wish George R.R. Martin would just be a little more direct and not beat about the bushes for 2000 pages the way he has with Qyburn.

I love how only in ASoIaF can you go literally 2000 pages with characters like Val or Qyburn floating in the background and have no loving clue who they are other than that they're set up to be "future plot device" and "evil backstabber" respectively.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 19:53

whowhatwhere: Mar 15, 2010; SHINee's back

mind the walrus posted:

I love how only in ASoIaF can you go literally 2000 pages with characters like Val or Qyburn floating in the background and have no loving clue who they are other than that they're set up to be "future plot device" and "evil backstabber" respectively.

Why are you including all the pages which don't involve Qyburn/Val in any way?

# ? Dec 31, 2011 20:01

Octy: Apr 1, 2010

whowhatwhere posted:

Why are you including all the pages which don't involve Qyburn/Val in any way?

There should be more pages with Qyburn/Val. I want PoVs, drat it.

# ? Dec 31, 2011 21:22

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

whowhatwhere posted:

Why are you including all the pages which don't involve Qyburn/Val in any way?

Because taking 2000 pages is long enough for these characters who seem ordained to play a major role in the plot. Maybe I'm just sick of the pacing, wouldn't that be a shock?

# ? Jan 1, 2012 03:58

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

Happy New Years, Bad Thread! Did GRRM start writing yet?

# ? Jan 1, 2012 08:26

Iseeyouseemeseeyou: Jan 3, 2011

bigmcgaffney posted:

Happy New Years, Bad Thread! Did GRRM start writing yet?

All sources point to... Hell No! :dealwithit:

# ? Jan 1, 2012 08:33

Conduit for Sale!: Apr 17, 2007

As someone else pointed out earlier in the thread, the year doesn't end until February 5 for GRRM.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 08:50

Octy: Apr 1, 2010

bigmcgaffney posted:

Happy New Years, Bad Thread! Did GRRM start writing yet?

Didn't you hear? He died of a stroke at midnight.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 08:51

FourLeaf: Dec 2, 2011

Octy posted:

Didn't you hear? He died of a stroke at midnight.

Dammit I actually believed this for a second :suicide:

EDIT: Oh, but the Gurm has much to say about this past year:

GRRM posted:

What a long, strange trip it's been, this 2011.

The ball has already fallen in Times Square, so the new year is on hand back on the east coast. Here in New Mexico, as I write, it's still 2011... for another forty-five minutes or so, at least.

A year ago, this very evening, I was just being released from the hospital after a week's stay, including the worst Christmas of my life. It was my first hospitalization since 1973, and a scary time for me and my loved ones. Hard not to look back, and reflect on the close call I had. It was an infection, as I wrote last January, and the antibiotics knocked it out... but if I had delayed going to the emergency room another day or two, things could have been much worse.

Things turned out for the best, though, and I'm glad they did. 2011 was a hell of a year.

I would love to write something profound and deep about everything that's happened to me this past year... but, truth be told, words fail me. I've had good years and bad years before... more of the former than the latter, thankfully, but plenty that were mixed... but never a year like 2011. The first part of it was incredibly stressful, as I struggled to finish and deliver A DANCE WITH DRAGONS while still recovering from that aforementioned hospital stay. The rest of it was just incredible.

Even now, looking back, I hardly know where to begin. So many amazing memories from this year, so much that I will cherish forever. My work has always been well received and well reviewed, I am pleased to say, and I've won my share of Hugos, Nebulas, and the other genre awards... but the kudos and honors I've received this year went far beyond genre. To be named Author of the Year by USA TODAY... to have TIME magazine list A DANCE WITH DRAGONS as the best book of the year (not the best fantasy of the year, or the best SF book of the year, but the Best Book, period)... to be profiled in THE NEW YORKER... to be named as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World by TIME magazine... to be recognized by ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY as one of the entertainers of the year... to have the New Jersey State Assembly vote to recognize my achievements and invite me to address them... these go way way WAY beyond anything I ever dreamed of, beyond anything any Sci-Fi Guy could ever hope to achieve back when I was breaking into the field, way back when. And maybe this is all a sign that the world outside our literary ghetto is starting to recognize all of us... for I could never have achieved any of this without the efforts of those who went before. I stand on the shoulders of giants.

Which doesn't mean it wasn't a kick. And even more than the honors, the joy was the work itself. I would have to work another six years to find the right words to express how good it felt to finally deliver A DANCE WITH DRAGONS, after struggling with it so long and so hard. And after all that, to have the novel meet the incredible response it did... as I write, DANCE is STILL on the NEW YORK TIMES bestseller list (at #14 in hardcover for the week of 12/26), where it has been since its publication on July 12... and the reviews have been the best I have ever received for anything that I have ever written... well, all that was a vindication and a relief. After six years wrestling with Kong, I was way too close to the beast, and truly had no idea how the book would be received. The publication of DANCE, and my summer book tour to promote the book, was one of the highlights of my year... and my life. My thanks to all of you who came out.

And then there was the show. I'd been involved in television before, of course, but I'd been away for a long time, and I really had no idea how the HBO series would go. The trailers and panel at the TCA last January, the LA premiere party at HBO, the food trucks, the pedicabs, all the fabulous HBO promotion... and then the debut of the show last April, the ten week run, all the kudos it received from the entertainment press, and the TV viewers... it was an incredible ride. And the Emmys! Hot drat. Yes, we lost... (third time for me, since I'd lost twice for BEAUTY AND BEAST back when)... but Peter Dinklage won, and we were there, and the parties were amazing, and it IS an honor just be nominated, to be recognized by the industry itself as one of the five best dramas on television. And for all that, my thanks to all the good folks at HBO, to our fantastic and talented cast, and especially to Dan Weiss and David Benioff.

The book... the series... all these honors... some great conventions and trips and tours... all that would be enough to make 2011 a truly great year... but, hey, I haven't even mentioned to real highlights yet. That of course would be my two weddings -- the legal one here in Santa Fe last February, and the fannish one in Reno in August. They were both amazing, as is my blushing bride, Parris. None of this would mean a thing without her.

Or without my friends. Should auld acquaintance be forgot? Certainly not. So let me lift a glass to them all. To Ty, my acerbic assistant, who shared many of these adventures with me, and helped kept me semi-sane. To Raya, and her unfailing good cheer. To Michael Engelberg, who gave me the best news I got all year, and is always there when I need him. To Michael Cassutt, who is usually there whether I need him or not, to get me into trouble. To Howard and Gardner and Steve and Denise, old pals who know where all the skeletons are buried, and to Mara and Ti and David and Dan and Bryan, new friends I hope to hang with for many years to come. To my amazing agents, Kay McCauley and Chris Lotts and Vince Gerardis, and my amazing editors and publishers, Anne Groell and Scott Shannon and Jane Johnson and Joy Chamberlain. And of course to Melinda, best man, best friend, partner in crime and Wild Cards... hey, thanks for the bachelor party, kid.

And look... while I've been writing, a whole new year has begun.

It's going to have a hell of time topping this one.

FourLeaf fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Jan 1, 2012

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:00

Conduit for Sale!: Apr 17, 2007

Octy posted:

Didn't you hear? He died of a stroke at midnight.

Was it on the stroke of midnight? :haw:

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:05

Octy: Apr 1, 2010

Conduit for Sale! posted:

Was it on the stroke of midnight?

drat, I was about to make that pun. At least I think it's a pun.

Octy fucked around with this message at 09:14 on Jan 1, 2012

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:12

Iseeyouseemeseeyou: Jan 3, 2011

I have this feeling that GRRM will be kicking the bucket this year.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:15

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

Iseeyouseemeseeyou posted:

I have this feeling that GRRM will be kicking the bucket this year.

Time for The Bad Thread's GRRM Death Pool?

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:31

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

I'm betting GRRM gets a ton of writing done and keeps us posted in a manner unseen, then dies of a heart attack when the Giants get to the playoffs and it's all expunged and any pre-release material from TWoW is treated as piracy by his publisher.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 09:45

ThaGhettoJew: Jul 4, 2003; The world is a ghetto

Gorge RR Fartin posted:

And look... while I've been writing, a whole new year has begun.

while I've been writing

while I've been writing

while I've been writing

while I've been writing

while I've been writing

WORDS ARE WIND.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 10:24

bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

mind the walrus posted:

I'm betting GRRM gets a ton of writing done and keeps us posted in a manner unseen, then dies of a heart attack when the Giants get to the playoffs and it's all expunged and any pre-release material from TWoW is treated as piracy by his publisher.

Giants will miss the playoffs if they lose to the Cowboys tomorrow. I hate Cowboys but I hate grrm more. Go cowboys!

Lets reminisce about shitdick '10!

Edit: absolute fucker

bigmcgaffney fucked around with this message at 13:26 on Jan 1, 2012

# ? Jan 1, 2012 10:25

Jakabite: Jul 31, 2010

Just say it GRRM, it wasn't some innocent infection like grandma's and good people get, it was your filthy shitdick.

Still can't believe A poo poo of Water was the loving book of the year.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 14:26

Maytag: Nov 4, 2006; it's enough that it all be filled with that majestic sadness that is the pleasure of tragedy.

FAT posted:

I struggled to finish and deliver A DANCE WITH DRAGONS while still recovering from that aforementioned hospital stay.

BOO HOO.

FAT posted:

My work has always been well received and well reviewed

How many reviewers actually read this one though. How many jumped on the bandwagon because tv show 6 years angry sales. And when has WILD CARDS ever been well-reviewed by anyone with taste?

FAT posted:

I stand on the shoulders of giants.

YOU ARE CRUSHING THE GIANTS.

FAT posted:

I would have to work another six years to find the right words to express how good it felt to finally deliver

So he's starting to give a timeline then. Six years to gloat and then he'll start writing.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 14:46

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

He will spend half the year just patting himself on the back, then when Season 2 of the HBO show comes out and is well-received he'll take that as an excuse to not work and coast with more pats on his back.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 19:13

IRQ: Sep 9, 2001; SUCK A DICK, DUMBSHITS!

How in the gently caress is A poo poo of Water book of the year?

Even if you don't hate Grum, it's a boring meandering half-novel with no payoff whatsoever.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 19:54

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 21:56

TheLoquid: Nov 5, 2008

The fact that aDwD was recognized as the best anything is shocking. I don't think I've ever a read a book with less payoff, both as a novel and as a piece of a larger story.

# ? Jan 1, 2012 20:43

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