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Was that just some fan page that suggested that Scrambles was one of the winners of the Great Outdoor Fight? (Referred to in that context as "Tex.") Still. Onstad, buddy, what're you up to? Why now?? I do like to read into all this as a sign that he's investing himself anew in the world of Achewood.
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Jan 7, 2014 07:34
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Rollersnake posted:I'm still convinced super-skeezy bin Goodwills are as much a product of Onstad's imagination as the notion that most men hate/can't figure out the underwear flap. Here's an example of one. Note that it's not just a regular Goodwill, but a "Goodwill Outlet Store". Onstad's rendering of the interior was pretty spot-on, although I don't recall the people there as having been quite so gross when I was there.
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Jan 7, 2014 08:05
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Pakled posted:No right-thinking man uses the underwear flap and I refuse to hear otherwise. The sole convenient use of the underwear flap is for masturbating without having to sit your bare rear end on the cold vinyl of your office chair.
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Jan 7, 2014 08:44
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:Here's an example of one. Note that it's not just a regular Goodwill, but a "Goodwill Outlet Store". Onstad's rendering of the interior was pretty spot-on, although I don't recall the people there as having been quite so gross when I was there. I was going to post this as well. There are Goodwill stores both large and small that are basically like any other thrift store you might wander into. Then there are Goodwill Outlet stores, which (IIRC) are where stuff goes to die when it doesn't get sold at any of the regular Goodwill stores. I think it might be also where they send poo poo that isn't considered sellable at the regular Goodwill stores in the first place, but which they think they might be able to sell at the vastly discounted rates the Outlet stores offer (hence Beef's line about shat-up onesies and so forth). I forget the exact amount but basically from what I read, your costs are calcuated per pound, not per item (furniture items being the only exception), and it goes down the more poo poo you buy, basically. Having never been in a Goodwill Outlet store, I Googled it and came across a guide of sorts on someone's blog (I have since forgotten the link). This lady said that when she went to the one in her area, she wore rubber kitchen gloves (like you'd use for doing the dishes) and one of those face masks people wear when they don't want to catch the flu. She also said she paid like $30-40 for something like 50-60 lbs. worth of clothes that she planned to fix up and resell. So yeah, make sure you're prepared if you happen to go into one, as you don't want to catch tuberculosis and the Hantavirus while digging for eBay gold. 
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Jan 7, 2014 09:40
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The Salvation Army here is mostly a thrift store but there's a bin room where stuff sits before it's sorted into the actual categorized shelves. I guess selling it cheap saves them man-hours sorting the poo poo.
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Jan 7, 2014 09:47
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Pakled posted:No right-thinking man uses the underwear flap and I refuse to hear otherwise. When I was a child I read the interesting fact that men with larger than average penises preferred to use the flap and fly when urinating, and that men with smaller than average penises use the pull-out-and-over method. Having adopted the first method at the impressionable age, I have later in life been complimented on the caliber of my rifle, although this may not be a causal relationship. Additionally, I can only assume based upon the methods outlined above that men with exactly average penises piss directly through the pants, sieving a substrate from their waste to use for crafts or as a musky pomade.
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Jan 7, 2014 09:54
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I don't think that's Beef's cock. It looks like magazine or something.
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Jan 7, 2014 10:29
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The Goodwill store near me has both giant bins of whole-lotta-poo poo and racks of cleaned, sorted clothes.  There's also a clothing store near me called The Garment District, which has a clothes-by-the-pound section the size of a basketball half-court. People wade through waist-high mounds of clothing. I like to believe an old lady cartel controls it all, and Onstad's Goodwill store has done nothing to has done nothing to dispel this kind of thinking.
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Jan 7, 2014 20:32
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Sigma-X posted:When I was a child I read the interesting fact that men with larger than average penises preferred to use the flap and fly when urinating, and that men with smaller than average penises use the pull-out-and-over method. Having adopted the first method at the impressionable age, I have later in life been complimented on the caliber of my rifle, although this may not be a causal relationship.
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Jan 7, 2014 22:21
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What's the point of having a plus-sized penis if you don't tell everyone about it?
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Jan 7, 2014 22:56
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Mr. Squishy posted:What's the point of having a plus-sized penis if you don't tell everyone about it? He's just putting the post out there, it is up to us to do what we need to do with it... but also what we want to do with it.
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Jan 7, 2014 22:57
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So I was just digging through the older parts of the thread, and I thought this might reassure some of the folks who've been worrying that this feels a little like the end of the strip.Chris Onstad posted:
(Also I guess nobody got Onstad a special lamp.)
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Jan 7, 2014 23:22
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Penis Ouija posted:So I was just digging through the older parts of the thread, and I thought this might reassure some of the folks who've been worrying that this feels a little like the end of the strip. Wasn't this during the Teodor Gargles Dick In A Van storyline?
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Jan 7, 2014 23:33
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It's actually kind of surreal to me that Onstad used to post in this thread. (.....is that Onstad or a joke account?)
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Jan 7, 2014 23:51
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Ezzer posted:It's actually kind of surreal to me that Onstad used to post in this thread. It's actually him.
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Jan 7, 2014 23:57
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Nude Bog Lurker posted:Wasn't this during the Teodor Gargles Dick In A Van storyline? Yep. Though somehow I missed it first time round, so today I got to learn how Roast Beef understands the shape that Teodor would make if he were to take a bite out of a burger. Ezzer posted:(.....is that Onstad or a joke account?) Actually Onstad, as best as I can tell. He stopped around July '10, though.
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Jan 7, 2014 23:58
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It was him, when I got my GOF book signed, we briefly discussed the thread when I mentioned how strange it was that he didn't look like a young Orson Welles.
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Jan 8, 2014 01:18
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Penis Ouija posted:So I was just digging through the older parts of the thread, and I thought this might reassure some of the folks who've been worrying that this feels a little like the end of the strip. Yeah, I felt told after that. Didn't actually expect the creator to overhear my unkind musings on a messageboard and respond.
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Jan 8, 2014 14:56
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Rollersnake posted:I'm still convinced super-skeezy bin Goodwills are as much a product of Onstad's imagination as the notion that most men hate/can't figure out the underwear flap. Nobody's penis is small enough to fit through the underwear flap. Folks who have had accidents made by surgeons and only have small tubes for weiners stick their things through that hole and go "ow what a horrible thing this is."
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Jan 8, 2014 15:35
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You're meant to hold it (the flap) open until you're done, then replace it. Neither length nor girth is relevant. If some of you subhumans are still confused I'll gladly give you detailed instructions.
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Jan 8, 2014 16:49
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Admit it, you just want to watch dude fish their hoggs out and you're so hogg-crazy that you will pretend to be some sort of cock-instructor to do it.
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Jan 8, 2014 18:08
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Atmus posted:Admit it, you just want to watch dude fish their hoggs out and you're so hogg-crazy that you will pretend to be some sort of cock-instructor to do it. This guy goes around all day dissing people's dogs.
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Jan 8, 2014 22:33
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I just wanted to be able to use the phrase "A Brief Primer"
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Jan 8, 2014 22:51
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Jerusalem posted:This guy goes around all day dissing people's dogs. You diss my dog, you fluff my hog. I said that if you speak against Weldon then you are about to enter a world where the only activity that exists is tasting my hog.
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Jan 9, 2014 03:18
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Bongo Bill posted:You're meant to hold it (the flap) open until you're done, then replace it. Neither length nor girth is relevant. If some of you subhumans are still confused I'll gladly give you detailed instructions. Why you gotta try to bring everyone down, Bill? 
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Jan 9, 2014 04:07
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Bongo Bill posted:You're meant to hold it (the flap) open until you're done, then replace it. Neither length nor girth is relevant. If some of you subhumans are still confused I'll gladly give you detailed instructions. I generally drop trou as soon as I feel the urge and waddle my way to the bathroom. I am not one to put the pants back on the dancing santa.
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Jan 9, 2014 17:11
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I'm trying to remember this one strip-- I think it was in flowchart form-- something about how to make a girl dinner. All I can remember is "Taco Bell has a value meal for six dollars" and "if she is a down girl she will eat the value meal", something along those lines. I can't find it in the archives. Anyone got a clearer picture of this one?
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Jan 9, 2014 20:43
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I remember, quite clearly, that Ray complains about the $40 celery root, saying that it's "that jicama kind of lousy". I sure can't find the strip, though.
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Jan 9, 2014 20:55
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Pretty sure that was the MANDRAKE ROOT, and that if she is a down girl she will eat Dudemeal. I too can't find that loving strip though—doesn't seem to be transcribed on that Ohnorobot site for some strange reason (despite claiming that it searches 100% of Achewood comics).
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Jan 9, 2014 21:10
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I think it's because it's a flowchart, maybe? Anyway, here you go. It may also be because it was originally in GQ?
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Jan 9, 2014 21:12
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The Tao Jones posted:I'm trying to remember this one strip-- I think it was in flowchart form-- something about how to make a girl dinner. All I can remember is "Taco Bell has a value meal for six dollars" and "if she is a down girl she will eat the value meal", something along those lines. I can't find it in the archives. Anyone got a clearer picture of this one? LordSaturn posted:I remember, quite clearly, that Ray complains about the $40 celery root, saying that it's "that jicama kind of lousy". I sure can't find the strip, though.  I think it's unsearchable because of the GQ original publishing thing. EDIT: That's what I get for not refreshing the page. Kenny Logins fucked around with this message at 21:26 on Jan 9, 2014 |
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Jan 9, 2014 21:20
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I had not seen that before, and it rules.
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Jan 9, 2014 21:38
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Dude's game stinks so bad families in cars roll up the windows A dog raises its hackles if Ray's game comes toward it If Ray's game touches some eggs the mother bird will kill the eggs Ray's game is melted down chili pepper nailed to a board Ray should wear a leather mask and shoot 8-ball in a cage in the traveling circus sideshow Hay all on the floor A man has a whip
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Jan 9, 2014 21:44
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"Screw it. If I get a baby tonight, science can take away that baby for a fee" has quickly become one of my favorite achewoodisms
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Jan 9, 2014 21:47
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Ezzer posted:"Screw it. If I get a baby tonight, science can take away that baby for a fee" has quickly become one of my favorite achewoodisms
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Jan 9, 2014 22:01
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PantsOptional posted:I think it's because it's a flowchart, maybe? Anyway, here you go. It may also be because it was originally in GQ? "I let some scientists chop off my dick last night." So wonderful. Also, Onstad eerily presages Jack in the Box's "Munchie Meal" concept here. Still awaiting the advent of the Finisher's Power Plate in the realm of fast casual dining.
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Jan 9, 2014 23:08
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"Perfect Friends" is such a great caption.
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Jan 9, 2014 23:41
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Jerusalem posted:"Perfect Friends" is such a great caption. Hooray for some guys.
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Jan 9, 2014 23:53
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Phy posted:Hooray for some guys. 
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Jan 10, 2014 03:55
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Ray has a crush on getting high, pass it on.
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Jan 10, 2014 04:01
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