Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Please let Russia have Stonehenge.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bacarruda
Mar 30, 2011

Mutiny!?! More like "reinterpreted orders"

Yooper posted:




Working Map

Bering Straits laid it out. This is their home. Outsiders hosed it up way too bad. They want everyone gone. Now.

Iceberg, being who they are, doubled down. They brought in a new investor, a big investor, a loud investor. Ted Nugent. Now Iceberg is armed, violent, and hankering for another go. They ain't gonna let nobody run them off of "their" land.

Mitsuhashi still has the UN and WTO charter for the Bering Sea. In their eyes they've had no fault in any of this mess.

Expect CAS, CAP, anti-shipping, recon insertions, elint, and patrols. And who knows what the loving Russians are going to do.

My second choice. Bad weather that blinds our laser-guided bombs and IR gear. Long ranges. SMARF will probably show up again with their funding F-2s and that Wedgetail. It could be a fun challenge, but they'll be a lot of frustrating moments.

Where are the natives getting their money from? They don't want to drill for oil, go fishing, or mine anything. We're mercs with a lot of operating costs -- we need someone who can afford our prices. If we want to buy a boat in the future, we need money.

The Japanese are nice and all...but we don't operate any Japanese equipment.

The Americans have got the right aggressive attitude. They're probably got contacts with US arms dealers who can help get our Phantoms and F-16s the weapons they need. Let's take Ted Nugent's money and blow poo poo up. Iceberg time!

Yooper posted:



Working Map

Finally YugoImport. They are still reeling from Janko's death and struggling to hold control of the entire endeavor. For them it's a vision of a united eastern europe, a vision of some pseudo empire. They are also the richest, by far, and can pull in the muscle of what's left of the Greek military.

Think Shadowrun. Cyberpunk. Operation Screaming Fist. Our missions will range from finding, and killing, armor all the way to inserting a team to kidnap a key engineer, while preventing PMC aircraft from killing her. All sides are well armed and have virtually limitless resources.

The Yugos are the richest and have the most friends? Sounds like a merc's dream!

Plinking tanks with Brimstones? Our own min-Entebbe? Challenging enemies to make our planners squirm? Perfect!

Go Dracula! Go Yugo! That's my vote.

Yooper posted:

I have a motion to dispose of the SK60B's and AMX's. Yay? Nay?

Still backing my idea of spinning off the SK60s to create an airshow team. Give us like 200-400k every month to simulate the money we make from giving people rides, performing at shows, being a mini-aggressor squadron, etc. And maybe give us some fringe benefit like new arms dealer contracts from that shady Russian we might meet at Farnborough.

If we're going to be doing agent insertion work, etc. Having the AMXes to help clear out LZs might be useful. Between the two of them, they can carry 4,000lb of JDAMs, which is nothing to sniff at. And they're the only plane we have that can carry Durandals, so if we ever have to bust a runway, we'll want them. KEEP THE AMXES

Bacarruda fucked around with this message at 03:40 on May 25, 2017

CoffeeQaddaffi
Mar 20, 2009
No longer use the Sk60b's, but keep the AMX's.

I'm kind of torn on Theatres. In the Bering Sea, we're either going to go with the Alaska Natives (and possibly incur more ire from the UN) or Musashita (and possibly get the UN to owe us one), this might also involve SMARF so we could work with them or against them (and they have a marker to play against/with us). And the Balkans are the usual Balkan poo poo-show, but its close and we might be able to score some deals with the region's suppliers, also the Bulgarians might be involved so keep that in mind.

Bacarruda posted:

Where are the natives getting their money from? They don't want to drill for oil, go fishing, or mine anything. We're mercs with a lot of operating costs -- we need someone who can afford our prices. If we want to buy a boat in the future, we need money.

IRL, the Alaska Native Corporations were given a similar choice to the Native American Tribes of the Lower 48 but chose to incorporate instead of staying with reservations and eventually going into the gambling business. This means that they've pretty much either invested their money in actual corporations (CIRI in AK is a pretty big deal for Native employment, for example) or squander it, so there's the potential that they could actually afford us.

CoffeeQaddaffi fucked around with this message at 03:36 on May 25, 2017

perfluorosapien
Aug 15, 2015

Oven Wrangler
Josip Broz Tito: a communist disobedient to Stalin, a founder of the Non-Aligned Movement, a gatherer of the Slavic peoples, a gamesman adroitly profiting from Moscow and Washington's rivalry. We owe it to his memory. We must go to Eastern Europe.

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat
Ah, Bering Straits

power crystals
Jun 6, 2007

Who wants a belly rub??

Bering Strait.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
I'm obligated to vote for us to find Dracula's Dad.

Aside from the scenario sounding amazing, unlimited money means high pay for us, and I loving love me some cyberpunk skullduggery. Only this time with planes.

sparkmaster
Apr 1, 2010
Dispose of only the SK60s.

Bering Strait

Paingod556
Nov 8, 2011

Not a problem, sir

Night10194 posted:

Please let Russia have Stonehenge.

Only if we can take it down with a heavily modernised B-52 stealth bomber

Actually, brb, checking if CMANO has the EB-52 Old Dog

Fake edit- it does not :saddowns:

omegasgundam
Mar 30, 2010

Quinntan posted:

Reasons to sell the Sk60s

1) no guided ordnance
2) what ordnance they have couldn't hit the broad side of a barn
3) zero defensive capabilities

Reasons to sell the AMXs

1) only other subsonic combat aircraft in the fleet; makes them slow to respond to emergencies
2) really limited precision ordnance load: two paveways or two jdams or two mavericks
3) not particularly manoeuvrable; makes them easier to hit by AAA or SHORAD

They're the worst aircraft in the fleet and we should make some money off of them before they get shot down.
I agree with you here. It's possible that we can do something with the Mirages. The AMX's, not so much.

Also, Bearing Straits Native Corp. Lets support another native nationalist insurgency! This time, the controlling foreign interest is only implied!

Also, gently caress TED. There can be no peace while he draws breath.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Get rid of the SK 60s, sell the AMX if we can get something useful.

Getting rid of the SK 60s makes a lot of sense. They provide little in the way of competency that we can't get from other craft, there aren't enough to really make any kind of an impact, and we would likely be spending more time sanitizing the air to make them function than getting anything useful out.

The AMX is slightly more survivable and at least has a RWR and infrared ability, so I could see them being useful for dropping bombs or Mavericks on targets of interest, but if we can sell all of them as a package and get something better it would be preferred. The SK60s look to be worth about $300K, but the AMX were worth $16.5M in 1999 so who knows what price point we could get now. So if it's just selling for the sake of having money then I would say keep the AMX, but if we can get something else then sell them.

Quinntan
Sep 11, 2013

Bacarruda posted:

If we're going to be doing agent insertion work, etc. Having the AMXes to help clear out LZs might be useful. Between the two of them, they can carry 4,000lb of JDAMs, which is nothing to sniff at. And they're the only plane we have that can carry Durandals, so if we ever have to bust a runway, we'll want them. KEEP THE AMXES

We also have the Phantoms with their standoff DWS.39 dispensers for the specific anti-runway mission, and they are a far more survivable way to perform the mission than flying over a runway with a bunch of cluster bombs.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
And if the stats reveal anything then there's nothing special about the Durandal that can't be done better by the JSOW or Storm Shadow.

Bacarruda
Mar 30, 2011

Mutiny!?! More like "reinterpreted orders"

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Get rid of the SK 60s, sell the AMX if we can get something useful.

Quinntan posted:

Sell AMX and Sk60, set aside the F1s so we can get them upgraded to the F1.EM standard.

If we could trade in the two AMXes and the Mirage F.1CR for four ex-Moroccan Mirage F.1EMs, that'd be amazing. Good for Yooper and planners since it harmonizes our aircraft fleet a lot more. And good for us, since it gives us a little bit more low-cost oddball strike capability.

https://wiki.baloogancampaign.com/index.php/DataAircraft?ID=3153

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Bacarruda posted:

If we could trade in the two AMXes and the Mirage F.1CR for four ex-Moroccan Mirage F.1EMs, that'd be amazing. Good for Yooper and planners since it harmonizes our aircraft fleet a lot more. And good for us, since it gives us a little bit more low-cost oddball strike capability.

https://wiki.baloogancampaign.com/index.php/DataAircraft?ID=3153

Works for me

While Im thinking of it, can we get a ballpark on what each faction will pay us to show up?

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

Bacarruda posted:

If we could trade in the two AMXes and the Mirage F.1CR for four ex-Moroccan Mirage F.1EMs, that'd be amazing. Good for Yooper and planners since it harmonizes our aircraft fleet a lot more. And good for us, since it gives us a little bit more low-cost oddball strike capability.

https://wiki.baloogancampaign.com/index.php/DataAircraft?ID=3153

Keeping the F.1CRs for their recon configuration might not be a terrible thing if we're going to be hunting for boats.

Quinntan
Sep 11, 2013

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Keeping the F.1CRs for their recon configuration might not be a terrible thing if we're going to be hunting for boats.

They're not great for recon work either, to be honest. The Atlantique and the Erieye blows them out of the water when it comes to spotting stuff.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Go Native, Go North, Go Strait.

Take the Sk60s off the roster and absolutely use them as an airshow/stadium flyby team. Rotate pilots who have been shot down through the demonstration team, so they can write stuff about going back to the world for a while.

The AMXs will be our worst remaining plane, but if we ever need 4 deniable Mavericks we can sacrifice them, assuming sufficient SAR cover to get someone to fly the mission.

Chunky Monkey
Jun 12, 2005
Kill the Gnome!
Keep all the planes! The SK60's are the only planes we have that have scored kills on ultramodern stealth aircraft, they deserve to die a glorious death!

Option B Get the SK60B's upgraded to SK60C's. They can do recon then.

Bering Straight We couldn't have bote for ourselves (I'm so disappointed in you goons), the least we can do is use our fancy new French thing to torpedo some.

Chunky Monkey fucked around with this message at 03:55 on May 25, 2017

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


Just to make it all official, voting for the Bering Sea and selling/spinning off the Sk-60's.

Quinntan
Sep 11, 2013

mllaneza posted:

The AMXs will be our worst remaining plane, but if we ever need 4 deniable Mavericks we can sacrifice them, assuming sufficient SAR cover to get someone to fly the mission.

We aren't doing suicide missions.

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

Quinntan posted:

They're not great for recon work either, to be honest. The Atlantique and the Erieye blows them out of the water when it comes to spotting stuff.

Fair enough. Honestly I'd love to know what options, if any, are available before voting on the AMXs and potentially the Mirages. The SK60s we can sell to whoever. Maybe the natives want them?

Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon
Sell the F.1CRs, AMXs, and SK60s for a boat.

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth
Bering Strait

omegasgundam
Mar 30, 2010

Bacarruda posted:

If we could trade in the two AMXes and the Mirage F.1CR for four ex-Moroccan Mirage F.1EMs, that'd be amazing. Good for Yooper and planners since it harmonizes our aircraft fleet a lot more. And good for us, since it gives us a little bit more low-cost oddball strike capability.

https://wiki.baloogancampaign.com/index.php/DataAircraft?ID=3153

Again, good idea. It also gets us a NEW form of guided munition to squander, the SBU-38. Bet of all, the only other planes that use it are France's own Rafales, so we shouldn't have too much theoretical competition for the supplies.

On an unrelated note, going through the unit lists, it seems that the only British (exclusively) build jet worth thinking about is the Jaguar. The Lighting is a short legs point interceptor, the Hunter too slow, and the Harrier is too Harrier. The Singapore Hunter is worth a look, if only due to being able to carry 4 Mavericks.

EDIT: Nope, the Jag was also split with the French. Just asking, but did the British EVER do anything engineering related right without someone to hold their hands?

omegasgundam fucked around with this message at 04:04 on May 25, 2017

Quinntan
Sep 11, 2013

omegasgundam posted:

Again, good idea. It also gets us a NEW form of guided munition to squander, the SBU-38. Bet of all, the only other planes that use it are France's own Rafales, so we shouldn't have too much theoretical competition for the supplies.

On an unrelated note, going through the unit lists, it seems that the only British (exclusively) build jet worth thinking about is the Jaguar. The Lighting is a short legs point interceptor, the Hunter too slow, and the Harrier is too Harrier. The Singapore Hunter is worth a look, if only due to being able to carry 4 Mavericks.

Jaguar isn't a solely British aircraft, they developed it with the French.

Also Harriers have six brimstone missiles

omegasgundam
Mar 30, 2010

Quinntan posted:

Jaguar isn't a solely British aircraft, they developed it with the French.

Also Harriers have six brimstone missiles

Just noticed the first part, but the fundamental problem with the Harrier is that it's a loving Harrier.

sniper4625
Sep 26, 2009

Loyal to the hEnd
Why freeze our rear end off in the Arctic when we can go play cloak and dagger in the Balkans?

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

omegasgundam posted:

Just noticed the first part, but the fundamental problem with the Harrier is that it's a loving Harrier.

Are you telling me harriers can't actually use their VTOL jets to suddenly dodge AIM-9s

Has anime lied to me.

xthetenth
Dec 30, 2012

Mario wasn't sure if this Jeb guy was a good influence on Yoshi.

Wait poo poo, I was grouse, angling for a backseat, and I think I died! Hah. I need to catch up!

paragon1 posted:

I'm obligated to vote for us to find Dracula's Dad.

Aside from the scenario sounding amazing, unlimited money means high pay for us, and I loving love me some cyberpunk skullduggery. Only this time with planes.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



Since ANGERPEACE is gone, I gotta go with Dracula

ManifunkDestiny
Aug 2, 2005
THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN THE SEAHAWKS IS RUSSELL WILSON'S TAINT SWEAT

Seahawks #1 fan since 2014.
Forget finesse and nuance. Our F-16s alone can bring 32,000 lbs of bomb to a fight. We're a hammer, not a dagger, so let's go to the Bering Strait

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


As much as I want to throw in with the Nuge, (his hunting game on the PC years ago was full of unintentional hilarity), I vote Balkans.

Also +1 on repurposing both the and and SK60s

Added Space
Jul 13, 2012

Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!
Balkans
Sell everything

Cling-Wrap Condom
Jul 23, 2015

I'm tryna get my peen touched, pants.
BE-RING ST-RAITS

power crystals
Jun 6, 2007

Who wants a belly rub??

Canon method of Reaper ferry: truck. Don't ask me what happens if the Bering theater winds up winning. I guess we rent a cargo ship if the C-130 doesn't get diverted to help out.

quote:

It had been several hours into the final push on Luanda, before Von Hoff provided a surprise ending to the campaign, and MEAT was getting tired. MEAT had actually gotten pretty good at identifying targets on the ground - even if all that was left for him to spot were vehicles that would have felt at home in the Korean war. They didn't stand a chance here. Not with him and his Reaper's Gorgon Stare system helping out the flyboys and their devastatingly modern weapons. And so he watched as Mbeke's forces cleared chokepoint after chokepoint, each time stopping only to watch an armored platoon threatening them spontaneously detonate. And each time, as per command's orders, the Reaper would move up to keep its many eyes on the action below. Soon Luanda itself was in sight range, and MEAT watched as one of the allied Gripens splashed a Fishbed just shortly after takeoff. Fishbed. He'd started to actually remember these names.

He had stopped to re-up on his secret supply when he received a terrifying call from the Argus. For all the Reaper's amazing sensors, it completely lacked a radar warning receiver, and here he was being told via radio that he had one, no, two hostile missiles vectored on him. He immediately dropped the still-closed bottle and swapped the controls to manual, quickly trying to recall his training on missile evasion. Option one: point your nose so the missile is at your 10- or 2-oclock and then turn as sharply as possible immediately before impact, hoping the missile can't turn inside you. He considered the Reaper's absolute lack of agility for only a moment before discarding that plan. Option two: head for the deck and hope to outrun the missile. 260 KIAS at military thrust wasn't much, but it would have to do. He pushed the throttle to its maximum and started to dive.

It turned out not to matter in the end. The missiles had only had semi-active seekers, and the CAP Gripens had been on point about vaporizing the fighters that had fired them long before the hostile missiles came into proximity. MEAT returned to station and finished out the rest of the mission as normal, shaken, but somehow more feeling more alive than ever.

He remembered all of this as he looked over the Reaper's control trailer. Trailer. He hadn't thought about that much until now, but it was in fact intended to be hauled by a standard freight truck over long distances, and he could see the tractor heading over to pick it up now. Inside Angola he'd been shuttled with the base support staff, but on the way out of the theater, he had to ride inside the trailer to keep an eye on the Reaper as it was ferried to its next home. The rest of the pilots got to ride their planes there, but the UAV didn't have anywhere for him to sit, and the cargo aircraft didn't have the capacity to carry the control center. Instead, he would be charged with hanging out in the control center over the next few days as the Reaper slowly made its way from relay point to relay point. Command had said they'd send one of the cargo aircraft to come get him if they got a chance and he was still a good distance out, but he wasn't sure if he trusted them to follow through. The truck was cheaper.

Even the other UAV guy, Dreamsicle, got off lucky. The Sperwer was small enough to fit entirely into one of the cargo aircraft, so he got to ride along. Besides, Dreamsicle was getting promoted to an F-16 backseater. MEAT hadn't met the new Sperwer operator yet, but had heard he was a cool enough guy. Time would tell, right? MEAT himself had been offered a seat in one of the newly purchased manned jets, but turned it down - that wasn't his destiny. The other guys could go enjoy their excessive G-forces all they wanted. He had air conditioning. And his sign. He picked it up and slung it under his arm.

MEAT surveyed what was left of the base. It had been broken down with, well, not quite military efficiency, but a good approximation. Not much was left standing but some hard structures that were cheaper to just rebuild than transport any great distance. The Reaper itself still sat in its berth, ever watchful. It would be one of the last things to leave, even after the truck. A handful of the base security personnel were milling around the UAV. They didn't have anything else valuable left to guard. Watching them briefly, MEAT saw the quartermaster lady he'd inadvertently gotten far too short with the other day. He'd have to apologize to her at some point. Compared to the pilots, those guys made practically minimum wage, and they were just as vulnerable to enemy air to ground attacks as he was. They didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

But that was a thought for another time. The interminably long road trip ahead of him would have plenty of opportunity for that. For now, he walked around to the front of the trailer and helped guide the truck to link up with the trailer. He tried to exchange pleasantries with the driver, but the driver clearly was having none of it; he probably just wanted to get this over with. A minute or so of gentle maneuvering later and the trailer was connected. MEAT headed inside. While the driver prepped the trailer for transport on the outside, he had to stow anything loose that might fall when the assembly got underway. Truth be told, there wasn't much. A laptop, several sets of headphones, a few books, a couple keepsakes he'd collected from his time in Africa. And then there was the little container of pills. MEAT picked it up, but quickly pocketed it and headed outside when the driver called for him.

"Everything's all wired up. Double-check it for me, would ya?"

"Sure."

MEAT glanced around the trailer's connections, checking wires and mechanical links both.

"Looks good."

"Alright. We leave when you say, but remember I'm gettin' paid by the hour. Your bosses want this thing on the road yesterday."

"Yeah, I'll let you know."

The driver nodded, rolled his eyes to himself, and climbed back inside the cab. MEAT picked up the container from his pocket. Sure, it had gotten him through that marathon-length operation, but was it really for the best? He'd reacted just fine to those missiles without its help.

From the corner of his eye he saw the guards' quartermaster smiling and waving at him. Despite how he'd acted, she didn't hate him! He returned the gesture and she turned around and resumed chatting with her compatriots. MEAT thought of the base's most well-known couple, Tapco and his girl. Ever since Tapco had gotten shot down by that ancient AAA gun, he'd been on medical leave, and the two of them had been taking advantage of it. Sure, they made everywhere they went stink of weed (although they always claimed it wasn't them), but everybody still liked them despite that. Maybe people could still like him despite his imperfections, too.

The driver leaned out his window and made an impatient tapping gesture on the door, evidently annoyed that MEAT wasn't even doing anything while he waited.

"One minute!" MEAT replied, and the driver huffed and returned to the inside of the cab.

Well, probably not that guy. That guy was an rear end. But the rest of them could.

MEAT dropped the container and kicked it in front of the trailer's frontmost tire, as if it were to act as a chock had the trailer had several fewer zeroes in its total weight. He walked up to the cab, tapped the window once, gave a thumbs-up, and climbed inside the trailer. It wasn't long before the whole assembly lurched forward. He couldn't feel anything as it crushed the tiny container to dust. Either way, it was done.

As the truck headed out of the base for the highway, MEAT thought about Rohan and Silent Bob. He'd never met either of them. Hell, he'd never even heard their voices on the radio; the frequency they used was only known to the Argus crew. But they'd both given their lives for this cause. He'd long wondered what was going on in Rohan's mind at the end. She had flown straight into a hornet's nest of SAMs and dodged more than her fair share before finally succumbing. Did she get tired, or run out of luck? Or did she simply decide to accept her fate? She'd never be able to tell him. But somehow, he knew what the answer was anyway.

He did still have to make sure the control systems were still working before they got too far from the base.

"Benguela control, MEAT, requesting engine start."

An odd simulacrum of procedure. By this point, "control" was one guy with a pair of binoculars and a cell phone, and MEAT wasn't in or even near the aircraft he was intending to power up. The surreality of the situation amused him greatly. After a moment, he got his reply.

"MEAT, control, cleared for engine start."

The drone's console slowly reported its software completing self-tests during powerup as the engine accelerated briefly and then settled in at idle. Soon the cameras came alive. The guard detail had moved to the side and were idly watching the strange metal beast bring itself to life. Most of them weren't even carrying their weapons anymore. MEAT tested the control surfaces by way of the cameras; everything was responding as expected. Good enough. He entered the Reaper's destination into its autopilot and instructed the software to fly itself there. He'd have to check occasionally to make sure it hadn't flown into anything, and he had to handle ATC when it got to its destination, but otherwise now he could pay as little attention as he wanted. The Reaper could happily fly itself the entire way there.

MEAT leaned back in the control console's chair. He had a long ride ahead of him, and that meant a lot of time to think. This certainly wasn't where he expected he'd be even a few months ago. But it had worked out so far. Maybe Angola was just as screwed up as when they got there, but they'd tried, dammit. He'd done all that could be asked of him. Hadn't he? Who knows what historians years from now would say, but he at least knew what had actually happened, and what this band of mercenaries had accomplished. That's what really mattered.

And he'd do it all again.

And that's exactly what he was going to do.

To Be Continued...

Forgive me, Tapco! :v:

CoffeeQaddaffi
Mar 20, 2009
Been thinking about it, and I've gotta vote Balkans for where to go next. Probably working with the Bulgarians since they did us a solid, but that's for another vote.

TildeATH
Oct 21, 2010

by Lowtax
Bering Strait is the only time to go straight.

Can you just imagine a final trench run targeting Ted Nugent's flag-painted bunker in a field of lettuce.

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


The MEAT Misadventures are one of the best parts of this thread and I wish I could write as well as you do PowerCrystals

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

JcDent
May 13, 2013

Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

power crystals posted:

To Be Continued...

Forgive me, Tapco! :v:

:golfclap:

MEAT is a wordsmith hermit crab that lives in his metal shell that smells of ozone and stale farts.

For the rest of the "let's vote European, let's vote boring" crew, here's what we're missing out on:



I hope you're unhappy :argh:

Meanwhile, back to the business of Highly Paid Proletariat of Violence!

So, our new purchase is extremely boring. The best we can do with it is set our Bering Strait ahead.

As much as I would like to help an Eastern European corporation that's putting ballistic computers, heartbeat sensors and monomolecular can openers on Mosin-Nagants, there are several reasons to help the natives.

We have to help the natives to win out against the Ted Nugents and sararimen of the world.

Smash the corporate culture that would turn our seas into a lifeless, plastic refuse-coating ponds of toxic sludge.

Help violent natives reclaim their land and get some nipple tassles from their casinos.

Not get killed by super sharp glass knives wielded by a giant lone Native commando with a 'Poor Impulse Control' tattoo

Give the Baguette some use. Sure, we might never be able to completely remove the smell of stinky cheese out of the upholstery, and the onboard printers will still print out racist caricatures of Mohamed at random times of the day, but we can at least shoot Borg fishing trails with Exocets.

Constantly remind people that we could have used the corvette to do raids on cold, unfeeling floating factories mercilessly turning the bounty of the sea into fishstiks, doing drive-by's with a boat and just farting cruise missiles (that I'm pretty sure make "uuuurah" sound as they fly) at stuff every which way.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply