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I missed out on the Mad Max names thread, I'm getting in on the ground floor! Praise be to Doom!
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# ? Aug 2, 2015 20:59 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 13:52 |
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I'm curious. What have they done to me?
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# ? Aug 2, 2015 21:10 |
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It would be impossible for another version of me to be more awesome than I already am, so I find such claims highly suspect.
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 01:23 |
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There's going to be a 6 week delay to the next round of answers to keep things authentic.
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 01:27 |
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I hope that the other me hasn't died over those six weeks...who am I, anyway?
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 03:06 |
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Having infinite me's seems like a very annoying thing. Please do not allow it.
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 03:34 |
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This seems like a good way to fill the time until Unlimited gets Secret Wars. I'll know who I am before I know who the big names are!
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 17:29 |
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What's a badger?
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# ? Aug 3, 2015 18:18 |
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I'm still here. Family thing bigger than expected. Jetlagged right now. I'll try to post more from the Battleworld Revelation of Saint Martha Comicbooks soon. Sorry for the delay.
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# ? Aug 4, 2015 09:06 |
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RIP battle world
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# ? Sep 6, 2015 08:41 |
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It was all worth it for Wrestlevania.
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# ? Sep 8, 2015 06:22 |
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I assume I'm some sort of computer janitor at the Avengers Annex 3A, or something.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 19:58 |
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Kelp Plankton posted:RIP battle world Zowie, a 29-person backlog! Better get crackin'.
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# ? Sep 11, 2015 23:30 |
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There's an easy way! 1-29: You are Jamie Maddox, a mutant with the ability to split into independent copies of himself. You live in the Geocity, a Battleworld domain that has not progressed past the late 90s. Geocity is a mess of a city, constantly on fire and under construction. You work a stage comedy act with the other 28 of you. It was kind of funny with 15, but now everyone is shocked you're still around.
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 00:13 |
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Melchior posted:I assume I'm some sort of computer janitor at the Avengers Annex 3A, or something. I filled out that application to work at Stark Industries. I figured the joke was you had to have a rudimentary understanding of relativity to even be Stark's janitor. Then it turned out you were auditioning for a Dr. Pepper ad where the lucky winner was, in fact, Stark's janitor but he got put in a Dr. Pepper machine by Jarvis. I didn't win, but I totally would have been in that commercial if I had, if only so I could say, "I am canonically a part of the Marvel Movie universe as Stark's janitor". (Trying to give the OP a really easy out here)
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# ? Sep 12, 2015 07:28 |
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Aphrodite posted:There's an easy way! If only the mysteries of Battleworld were truly so easily resolved! But while I refine the next set of revelations with the aid of many medicinal herbs and spices, let's make a quick stop at the Shield. Wanderer posted:Somehow I suspect I'm on the Shield. Or I was, before what's referred to as the "Incident." Don't pretend that you didn't volunteer for this. On the Shield, bravery doesn’t help anyone. To serve the Shield with distinction, you need one of two traits, preferably in excess: The first and best is a sense of duty, the kind that crushes you with the anticipatory guilt of letting anyone living above the wall suffer the predations of the monsters living below it. Ideally, your heartbeat (or equivalent) beats can’t quit, can’t quit, can’t quit at rest, and pounds don’tlet’emdie-myfaultiftheydie-don’tlet’emdie-myfaultiftheydie when it races. The only other trait that’s ever proven helpful for serving on the Shield is the kind of madness that blinds one to the hopelessness of the Shield—the sort of ill-calibrated mental state that leads one to believe that it’s possible to actually, finally win. Let’s say a light-to-moderate megalomania with a dusting of plain vanilla mania. Though useful, this madness is less useful to one’s Shield-mates, in absolute terms, than the aforementioned sense of duty, though frequently more entertaining. Bravery, though—not so useful. Bravery leads to otherwise-intelligent people charging down from the Shield, into the southern wastes, trying to fight the monsters back at the front lines. Bravery leads to Hel-Rangers and then regret. Bravery on its own is bad enough, but worse, it invalidates the benefit of the useful traits: bravery plus duty leads to noble suicides ( in peace Skurge, a robot turned you into bio-diesel); bravery plus madness leads, with uncomfortable consistency, to attempts to build personal kingdoms in the wastes (which, spoiler alert, do not fare well). But I’m getting away from the point. Go back to the beginning of this write-up—not the part about volunteering, although that will momentarily be relevant. This part: Squizzle posted:To serve the Shield with distinction, you need one of two traits, That part didn’t mean at least one. You want exactly one of these traits. Either one of these traits can lead to distinguished service on the Shield. You don’t want both. A sense of duty plus that kind of madness leads you onto a Morituri Strikeforce. Sometimes, Doom help us, protecting the Shield demands retrieving something from south of it. Maybe it’s intelligence, maybe it’s a person, maybe it’s a bug doomsday weapon or a robot doomsday weapon. (In an uncharacteristic show of fair play, the zombies shy away from the doomsday weapon racket.) This isn’t Hel-Ranger work; Hel-Rangers have an unfortunate tendency to charge out and die in romantically tragic and/or hilarious ways (see above, re: bravery). You want someone who knows, deep down, that the mission needs to succeed, and somehow believes that it actually can. Everyone on a Morituri Strikeforce has volunteered for the job: go south, under the wall, and make sure something comes back. Almost none of them expect their whole team to make it back to the wall, on any given mission. Deep down, every single one of these volunteers is both willing to die for the mission, but somehow believes that they, individually, won’t have to. Duty plus madness. Morituri volunteers all die the same way: surprised, accepting, but a little disappointed. Ok, not all of them. One Morituri Strikeforce has yet to lose a member. This team has, time and again, mission after mission, year after year, navigated the most treacherous conditions under the Shield, and returned with their objectives complete and no one on the team lost. I’ll probably end up talking about this team a few times, for two reasons: it’s unusually large, so there are a lot of members to talk about; and because, to a one, everyone on the team is an alternate reality counterpart of a Something Awful Dot Com forums goon. Doom works in mysterious ways. Anyway, back to you, Wanderer. Yes, you are on the Shield—or were sent to the Shield. If we’re being nitpicking goonlords, you’re frequently south of the Shield itself. You lead the premier Morituri Strikeforce. But on your team, no one is above grunt work, and you set a fine example by also acting as the squad’s wheelman. You operate the war-fitted Powered Convoy, a big rig capable of plowing unhindered through zombie Hulks and vibranium deathbots, while adamantium wiper blades (thoughtfully donated by an undead Dakenapes, when you neutralized the High Devolutionary and his zoo-vembies) clean the remains of the Annihilation Wave from the reinforced windshield. On your wrists, you wear the Citizen Bands. Given to you long ago by your mentor, Nebulon, these artifacts that allow you to tap into the primordial energy field that links man and truck: the Masterforce. At the least impressive, this gives you the power to telepathically drive your rig. When the haul gets tough—and it inevitably does—you can also slam the bands together, tapping into the full power of the Masterforce. Your body sublimates temporarily into pure Masterforce power, joining with your Powered Convoy to transform into a towering battle-mech. In this form, you help protect your team with piston-powered fists of Detroit steel. In either form—man or mantruck—you’re proud to lead the premier team beneath the Shield. You consider it an honor to be called Under Shield-1—US-1, to your friends. Welp OK 28 to go!
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# ? Sep 18, 2015 01:08 |
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Squizzle posted:In either form—man or mantruck—you’re proud to lead the premier team beneath the Shield. You consider it an honor to be called Under Shield-1—US-1, to your friends. I knew it was coming. I thought I was ready for it. I was not. Squizz on, Squizzle.
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# ? Sep 18, 2015 20:38 |
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Welp, I know something else the Incursions destroyed. MY ABILITY TO RESIST LEARNING MY FATE 2015 - 2015 I hope I'm not too late. BiggerJ fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Sep 19, 2015 |
# ? Sep 19, 2015 11:49 |
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Squizzle what you got?
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# ? Dec 28, 2015 11:36 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 13:52 |
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Caba-rays is loving gold. Also good god, do me too!
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# ? Dec 28, 2015 21:46 |