|
One time my cat meowed at me for attention and I didn't pet him OR give him a treat 
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:50
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 11, 2024 10:55 |
|
|
I fed goldfish to other fish.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:51
|
|
|
DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:were they that desperate for nuts!! 
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:52
|
|
|
I once gut-shot a deer by accident and had to track it for 35 minutes before I found it and showed it this thread on my phone, haha, because it's a bad thread, is the joke.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:54
|
|
|
Cat was meatloafing on a blanket but I wanted the blanket so I shook the treat can to get him off of there but he is kind of fat so I did not give him the treat afterward
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:55
|
|
|
QUEEN CAUCUS posted:Cat was meatloafing on a blanket but I wanted the blanket so I shook the treat can to get him off of there but he is kind of fat so I did not give him the treat afterward It's ok friend this is a safe space I will give my cat a treat now so yours cab enjoy one by proxy
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 22:58
|
|
|
Thinking of being mean to animals made me sad and so I picked up my retarded cat who is next to me on a box and tried to pet him but he didn't want to get petted now and left because he smelled faggotry And now he is sitting inside the box and being confused why I bothered him. I think he also called me a queer, but I don't let my cat's insults bother me much.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:00
|
|
|
One time I chewed up a peppermint candy, and my childhood cat wanted to smell my face because of the mint, so I blew mint breath at him and he liked it- so I blew mint at him harder and sprayed mint chunks all over his face. Later he can to clean candy chunks off himself and made these really awful faces from the mint taste
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:00
|
|
|
QUEEN CAUCUS posted:Cat was meatloafing on a blanket but I wanted the blanket so I shook the treat can to get him off of there but he is kind of fat so I did not give him the treat afterward 
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:00
|
|
|
I accidentally chopped up and stepped on dozens of baby rabbits while landscaping for a summer. I whacked the legs off of like 5 of them at once with a weed whacker the first time it happened, and had to stomp them all under a taco bell bag and they made the most horrible squeak noise when I smashed them. Then the next day I was just walking and all of a sudden it felt like I was slipping on a pile of melty candy bars, but it was a bunch of super tiny rabbits who's eyes hadn't even opened yet. The first 2 times it ruined my day and I felt loving horrible, but by the end of the summer it had happened so many times it was just like *squeaaak* "whoops" *stomp* and move on.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:01
|
|
|
naem posted:One time I chewed up a peppermint candy, and my childhood cat wanted to smell my face because of the mint, so I blew mint breath at him and he liked it- so I blew mint at him harder and sprayed mint chunks all over his face. good story
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:09
|
|
|
Once my dog was sleeping and I woke him up for no reason and he just looked at me.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:11
|
|
|
i dont let dogs lick my face even though they clearly want to, theyre mouths are pretty disgusting and doggy, no thanks
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:15
|
|
|
I frowned at my dog last week
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:17
|
|
|
i just gave this dog some really bad news
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:17
|
|
|
Hector Beerlioz posted:Once my dog was sleeping and I woke him up for no reason and he just looked at me. I did that too but he looked at me like this: 
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:18
|
|
|
monkey posted:Imagine if aliens came to earth and started deep frying people, that would be pretty bad right, but then imagine if we were not quite tasty enough, so they decide to fry us in breadcrumbs, but to make the breadcrumbs stick to the meat a bit better, they dunk us in blended up human foetuses.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:20
|
|
|
XMNN posted:i dont let dogs lick my face even though they clearly want to, theyre mouths are pretty disgusting and doggy, no thanks this is a good decision, its gross as poo poo esp when people let them lick their mouths
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:28
|
|
|
we named a cat "cat" because it wouldnt answer to anything else it was an ancient orange stray who sneezed green snot everywhere and she drove our other cat away because who wants to share a house with that if you can find someone else to feed you
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:29
|
|
|
my cats name is nameless
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:31
|
|
|
lets just say that Buffy was a female dog and my depravity knew no limits. I try to avoid that memory at all costs.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:39
|
|
|
I kept getting paid to feed these feral cats at a condemned house then the house got smashed and the cats followed me home. The worst thing I do regularly is bury them in food and hold them to snuggle because a feral cat is still a cat and homeless cat lives matter.
|
|
#
?
Dec 20, 2015 23:43
|
|
|
when I was young I used to go fishing for bass in the crick and if I reeled up a gar i'd just toss it in the nearby woods because it's a garbage fish nobody wants. these days i'm the kinda guy that moves a spider outside instead of squishing it so thinking back, the fish thing was pretty lovely of me
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:08
|
|
|
I flipped off my friends cat.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:10
|
|
|
Omce one of my dogs was asleep near my butt and I ripped a very loud and stinky fart. She woke up terrified and clawing her way out from under her blanket. I gave her a cookie to apologize.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:11
|
|
|
A while ago I used to work for a construction company and the head laborer told me he drowned a bunch of puppies for fun in a bucket when he was a kid. That's a cold rear end honky.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:13
|
|
|
One time I was really tired and just flopped on my bed and went to sleep. When I woke up I saw my cat was pinned under my legs and looked very unhappy with me.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:14
|
|
|
when I was young and didn't understand things very well I killed a friends pet guinea pig by throwing it into a pile of toys over and over again. We both thought it was having fun because it splayed it's limbs out in the air. But now I don't even kill bugs so I hope that makes it up for the dead rodent
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:19
|
|
|
When I was a little kid at soccer practice, I found a moth and decided to tear off one of its wings. After I realized what I had done, I felt incredibly lovely. 
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:28
|
|
|
DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:i advised this dog to not file taxes I was at the pet store one day and there was a guy coming out to his huge truck. The truck had its windows down, and a cute little pug was sticking his pug head out. I asked if I could pet the pug, and the guy says sure. I go up to pet him and as soon as my hand got near the window this HUGE loving ROTTWEILER stuck his head out and I nearly pooped from surprise
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:35
|
|
|
left my new puppy with a bunch of strangers who cut his balls off
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:46
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 00:53
|
|
|
lol used to catch flies in an altoids tin and freeze them, tie a string to their legs and then tie them all up to whatever. completely forgot about doing that
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:00
|
|
|
A couple of months ago I was mowing the lawn when I bumped into a small tree hard enough to knock a baby bird out of its nest and onto the ground. I'm actually assuming it fell out of the tree because I didn't see where it came from - just suddenly there's this baby bird infront of my mower (old enough to have opened its eyes and move, but no feathers). After landing it started staggering towards the mower, I quickly pulled it back and out of the way (I didn't shut it off because it's a bitch to start) but then I didn't know what to do with the bird. In retrospect I should have picked it up and waited for its parents to come back but I didn't because I didn't want to handle it too much (you know the bullshit parents tell their kids about not touching eggs/baby birds because it will be abandoned for smelling different? I hadn't had a reason to fact check that so I still believed it). It clumsily made its way to a nearby hedge then got stuck, I figured that it wasn't going anywhere so I turned around and started looking for the nest (I planned to grab gloves a put the bird back when I found it). After trying to find the nest for half a minute, I turned back to check on the bird, but I couldn't see it, it was gone. I spent quite a while searching for it, and given that the thing was not really able to move well on it's own I'm guessing the neighbours cat grabbed it. Whatever the case I know that things didn't end well because after 10 minutes the parent birds came back and were looking all over and calling out for it, and they kept at this for almost a whole week after. I felt horrible, and every time I left the house during that week, those birds were there, calling out in vain, and standing watch on top of my big palm tree to get the best vantage point they could incase their baby came back. Seeing this also made me doubt the whole "parents abandoning their child over a strange smell" thing, and a quick google search proved that it was bs - knowing that just made me feel worse.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:06
|
|
|
I am going to brutally murder all mosquitoes
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:07
|
|
|
kazr posted:used to catch flies in an altoids tin and freeze them, tie a string to their legs and then tie them all up to whatever. completely forgot about doing that I used to tie cicadas onto a 4' length of cotton thread and tie the other end to my cat's front paws. The cat absolutely loved it and started bringing home uninjured cicadas for me.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:13
|
|
|
my cat never sleeps in my bed, so one morning i woke up and felt really good so I leapt out of bed and loving scissor kicked my cat who picked THAT ONE NIGHT to actually sleep at my feet he just got up, very slowly, and walked to the other room, and laid down, he would not respond to my attempts to pet him, and i ended up just having to go to school. he was totally fine but jesus that day went from 0 to 60 to reverse in like 5 seconds
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:46
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL45pVdsRvE&t=64s
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:58
|
|
|
I shot a duck once
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 01:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 11, 2024 10:55 |
|
|
I don't think this was a -bad- thing, exactly, but I felt horrible about it, still do. I came home from work one day and there was a duck in my swimming pool, a female Mallard. The pool wasn't a typical swimming pool, it was surrounded by shrubs and trees and quite secluded, I loving hate swimming pools but it was there when I bought the house so all I could do was make it look like a pond. Two days later, I hear an odd noise and there's twelve baby ducks following mama duck around the pool. I panic, because A) the chlorine couldn't be good for them, B) there's nothing for them to eat, and C) they can't get out, the rim of the pool is too far from the water's edge. I didn't heat it and it was early spring, so the water was pretty chilly. I tried overfilling the pool so the water was closer to the pool apron, but I couldn't get it high enough. I then built a plywood ramp that floated on some big Styrofoam pieces, and some of them would walk out of the pool, but there were like two retarded duckling s that wouldn't get out, and the mom kept getting back in the pool to herd them out and the other ones would get back in and it was a clusterfuck. (Crappy footage here http://youtu.be/nAh_FbtCnY4 ) I look on Google and evidently new ducklings need to be out of the water to get warm much of the time; they can't be in the water 24/7 or they'll freeze. They eat little bugs and invertebrates and such; since my pool's clean, they'll starve eventually. By now it's 4pm so I find a feed store, luckily I'm in a fairly farm-type area, and buy a bag of duckling food, bring it back home and scatter it all over the ramp, pool apron, and around the large shrubs where I guess the mother duck had her nest. By now the two retarded ducklings aren't swimming very fast and are looking distinctly waterlogged, so I do a dick thing and scoop 'em out with the 10' leaf basket. That causes mass chaos, but I'm able to scoop 'em all out faster than they can get back in the water and finally Mom Duck leads them into seclusion and safety under some bushes. Next morning they're back on the pool peeping and swimming around, so I call the county animal control and they're completely worthless; yes, they'll take them and release them when they're old enough but they won't come and get them. I'm wayyyy too far from any decent-sized body of water, so I have to scoop them all up into a large cardboard box, the mother duck is going berserk, but I'm unable to catch her, so I have to take her babies and leave without her When I get to the animal control, there's like twenty people crying in there, I guess because they have to surrender their pet, but when I open a box full of twelve striped peeping ducklings, the entire room goes "Awwwwwww" in perfect unison. Mom duck waited around for her children for a week. I still feel bad.
|
|
#
?
Dec 21, 2015 02:37
|
|
