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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
get facefucked OP

in confidence

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Chrpno
Apr 17, 2006

Excuse me.

Is this a god dam?

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot

bunnyofdoom posted:

Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces! Dental dam! Lisa needs braces!

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015


I can do this with my foreskin while standing.

NihilismNow
Aug 31, 2003

Serviette posted:

No, but I've heard that fantasy poon, like abstinence, comes with a 0% chance of STIs :unsmith:

Nah you will probably still catch herpes and HPV eventually like most people.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

RedMage129 posted:

Dental dams work 100% of the time because the moment you pull out a sheet of plastic and try to lay it over her pussy she's putting her clothes on and walking out.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
like condoms are bad enough but can you imagine how terrible it must feel for the woman to have a bit of plastic wrap rubbing her clit instead of a tongue

A Concrete Divider
Jan 20, 2012

The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

Honky Dong Country posted:

I can do this with my foreskin while standing.

ok pm me

a turnip
Jul 22, 2015

by Shine
Hey we need to know shy this oral is gunna be dodgy can wee get a mod challenge in here

a turnip
Jul 22, 2015

by Shine
Op if you tell me about your dodgy oral I'll tell you about my dodgy sex with a Thai hooker and thy time I rimmed a one night stand

a turnip
Jul 22, 2015

by Shine
She was Indian you wanna talk about dodgy oral let's start there

JetSetGo
Jan 1, 2011

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Pawn 17 posted:

Don't give prostitutes oral dummy.

A Concrete Divider
Jan 20, 2012

The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

a turnip posted:

Hey we need to know shy this oral is gunna be dodgy can wee get a mod challenge in here

gonna be a rimmer dont wanna eat poo poo

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Lol I live in England....Dental is like "Prostate exam for 12 year olds".

So nope!

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

don't put sugar into vaginas and also that's not how that works

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
lisa needs braces

A Concrete Divider
Jan 20, 2012

The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

dad gay. so what posted:

lisa needs braces

New av is dope dg

max4me
Jun 15, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Pawn 17 posted:

Don't give prostitutes oral dummy.


I am gonna need john pop to chim in on this one.

Is there anyway to make him appear do you say his name 3 times.

Scrotum Modem
Sep 12, 2014

imagine strange men sticking their dongs into your hoohah like 10 times a day

why the hell would you want one of them to lick your clit ffs

A Concrete Divider
Jan 20, 2012

The Unbearable Whiteness of Eating

nawcom posted:

imagine strange men sticking their dongs into your hoohah like 10 times a day

why the hell would you want one of them to lick your clit ffs

Revenge?

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!
I hooked up with a med student and while she was a stickler for condoms and safe sex (she made me wash my hands before and after playing with her butt) she had never used a dental dam.

So no, nobody uses dental dams.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

many moons ago i took a dental dam out to use it for one of its intended purposes and just touching the thing made it apparent it was too thick to be of any use. thats my story hope you enjoyed god bless

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
You should just use a set of those novelty wax lips OP.

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


criscodisco posted:

You should just use a set of those novelty wax lips OP.

I like to wear Groucho glasses, the moustache makes a good clit tickler

im cute
Sep 21, 2009

Get your dog to eat the pussy. What are best friends for?

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Slide a log of Fresh Pet up there. Rover will go nuts.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Put a condom on your tongue.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Using dental dams during sex shows the pussification of our culture.

I mean condoms are one thing, but if you are grossed out at the idea of rimming then DON'T DO IT, YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!

loving millennials wanting to have their cake and eat it too!

lizardman
Jun 30, 2007

by R. Guyovich

Dreddout posted:

Using dental dams during sex shows the pussification of our culture.

You could say that it's the pussification of pussies...

Jose Mengelez
Sep 11, 2001

by Azathoth
the taste of rear end is seriously underrated imo

The Cubelodyte
Sep 1, 2006

Practicing Hypnolaw since 1990
Grimey Drawer

spud posted:

Lol I live in England....Dental is like "Prostate exam for 12 year olds".

So nope!

I don't understand this post.

Falun Bong Refugee
Dec 14, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

The Cubelodyte posted:

I don't understand this post.

They have bad teeth in England because they have shoddy dentistry.

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

Jose Mengelez posted:

the taste of rear end is seriously underrated imo

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 19 days!

The Cubelodyte posted:

I don't understand this post.

Fanny means vagina in England. I forget how this came up but I think it had something to do with "fanny packs".

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat

Pittsburgh Lambic posted:

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a loving Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and hosed some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

you're no hakan

Zidrooner
Jul 20, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I used a cut up condom as a dental dam to lick out my gf's rear end in a top hat an she liked it.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Zidrooner posted:

I used a cut up condom as a dental dam to lick out my gf's rear end in a top hat an she liked it.

That's the spirit!

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


Zidrooner posted:

I used a cut up condom as a dental dam to lick out my gf's rear end in a top hat an she liked it.

life.... finds a way

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Zidrooner posted:

I used a cut up condom as a dental dam to lick out my gf's rear end in a top hat an she liked it.

Wouldn't it have been easier to have her wash her stank rear end?

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Zidrooner
Jul 20, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

criscodisco posted:

Wouldn't it have been easier to have her wash her stank rear end?

It was a heat of the moment thing since the condom was too small and I figured I could still get some use out of it this way so no.

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