Vampire Panties posted:

What is the biggest dump you've ever taken

Colonel Cancer posted:

It's really dumb to assume that your sense of self is somehow a permanent thing and not just an illusion. Like the dude getting poked in the butt with a hot poker in Christian hell probably will not even mind it after a 100 years, hell, he'll even miss it after a thousand. Being some mook for a few decades will first become a distant memory and then cease to exist and your new norm, your new identity, will be a guy with hotpoker in his butt. You'll adapt and love it!

neato burrito posted:

What is going to happen to you when the sun swallows the Earth?

neato burrito posted:

What is going to happen to you when the sun swallows the Earth?

Wendigee posted:

And yes, I am 5’2. That was pretty tall back a few millennia ago. These days I’m supposedly a short king.



hows the short on everything else working out for you king?

Colonel Cancer posted:

Really you'd be stupid not to start your own religion and put humanity on a golden path if you can't die and got nothing to do for eternity

kntfkr posted:

if ur immortal and ten thousand years old or whatever it makes all of ur intimate relationships creepy because cmon he/she's like nine thousand years younger than u

Torquemada posted:

You need to start leaving clues to your divinity around now, so you can bene Gesserit humanity in 6000 years time.

Mooey Cow posted:

OP so senile he conflates life expectancy at birth with the average lifespan of adults. Just because a whole of babies died aged zero in those days doesn't mean 30 was some kind of ripe old age that adults died at.

naem posted:

The Management posted:

The thing they don’t tell you about immortality is that it sucks rear end. Take it from me, I’m thousands of years old and I would not recommend it.

You’re still basically the same human physiologically, more or less, except without the aging part. You have the memory capacity for one lifetime. Fun fact, when I started out people would live about 30-40 years, so the thing where old people lose their memory wasn’t a big problem back then. My point is, try to fit a few thousand years of memories into your brain and you’re going to forget 99% of it.

How old am I? I don’t know. We didn’t have dates back then, you just had to count. I lost count a long time ago, and I’ve been lying to people about my age for so long that I can’t even remember what year I’m telling them anymore. My guess is about 6000 years, give or take.

Sure, I’ve been married. I lost count of those too. Maybe once every couple of centuries. Marriages were not quite so formal at the beginning. You got with a chick and next thing you know she was sleeping next to your fire and that was it. I don’t remember any of their names or faces anymore. I do remember that they do not take it well when they age and you don’t.

No, I didn’t witness any interesting historical events. I was hanged by some Romans or Greeks. They eventually let me go but they branded my rear end. One time crusaders killed my entire family. Another time I was enslaved by muslim warlords. I’ve been mostly trying to avoid conflicts since then.

And yes, I am 5’2. That was pretty tall back a few millennia ago. These days I’m supposedly a short king. I still look 25 so I have to know these things or else I can’t talk to anyone. Hanging out with recent college grads who think I’m their bro is the worst. Oh, where did I go to school? University of Ur, I majored in Assyrian Studies.

Your day to day problems are so boring to me. Soon you will be dead and I’ll forget your name and face and everything else about you. I tried to keep a journal. Now I have like 3 dozen volumes in Aramaic, Greek, Arabic, and some language I don’t even recognize. I don’t remember how to speak any of those languages anymore.

I have no idea where I was born or when. I have to keep inventing new identities every few year, getting new friends, avoiding people I previously knew. There’s a lot of packing up and starting over involved. Even if you meet people who are cool with it they’ll just die. Also nobody is cool with it. They all have some bizarre thing they’re fascinated with like, like whether I met jesus or if my sperm dies after I bust. I didn’t and I don’t know.

What was I saying? Right, living forever is like that move groundhogs day except every day you get a new cast and everyone from yesterday is dead. So if you have the option, I suggest not living forever.

PS: I wrote the script for highlander to see if it would bring out any other immortals. So far nothing. I had nothing to do with the second one.

The Butcher posted:

I'm really not sure if I should side with the magic people or the drunk here.

Gatto Grigio posted:

OP is there a way to stay immortal without drinking blood every day? Asking for a friend

Nigmaetcetera posted:

If you invented one it would be immoral or some poo poo. For some reason certain people find the idea of an immortal cannibal overclass to be dystopian or something.

Confusedslight posted:

Thr idea that I one day will die terrifies me. Give me immortality any day.

naem posted: