Malaysia Airlines Flight mh17

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Blue's Clues

guys i'm not even convinced parker has two eyes. maybe a spatial issue? this is hosed up

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:30

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 12:27

my new dog: by Nyc_Tattoo

those fucken talitubbies blew up our plane..

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:40

WhenInRome

pilot theodore parker stared into space, dead to everything except the constant hum of the engine and the lights of the instruments. it had been 2 weeks since fluffy had left him for some douchebag stuffed shark fresh out of a prize claw, and yet the memory still stung like it was yesterday. glancing over at his copilot to make sure he was asleep, he pulled out the secret flask of bourbon from his chair and drank heavily. it was a clear day and it was over 6 hours to their destination, what was the harm? that was when he heard the door slam open. quickly hiding the flask, he looked over to see a small child who had somehow made it into the cockpit. "TEDDY" the hideous toddler screamed "I WANNA TEDDY" he picked up parker and began to shake him violently. a gunshot rang out, and the child dropped to the floor. his copilot had woken up and thought the child was a terrorist. parker stared at the lifeless body, too horrified for words. he climbed back into his chair, knowing what he had to do. he grabbed the controls and aimed the plane down, down, down. as the plane began to nosedive, he pulled out the flask and took a swig.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:41

Looke

WhenInRome posted:

pilot theodore parker stared into space, dead to everything except the constant hum of the engine and the lights of the instruments. it had been 2 weeks since fluffy had left him for some douchebag stuffed shark fresh out of a prize claw, and yet the memory still stung like it was yesterday. glancing over at his copilot to make sure he was asleep, he pulled out the secret flask of bourbon from his chair and drank heavily. it was a clear day and it was over 6 hours to their destination, what was the harm? that was when he heard the door slam open. quickly hiding the flask, he looked over to see a small child who had somehow made it into the cockpit. "TEDDY" the hideous toddler screamed "I WANNA TEDDY" he picked up parker and began to shake him violently. a gunshot rang out, and the child dropped to the floor. his copilot had woken up and thought the child was a terrorist. parker stared at the lifeless body, too horrified for words. he climbed back into his chair, knowing what he had to do. he grabbed the controls and aimed the plane down, down, down. as the plane began to nosedive, he pulled out the flask and took a swig.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:43

Diqnol

WhenInRome posted:

lmfao

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:43

my new dog: by Nyc_Tattoo

i never even went to flight school how did i end up here

# ? Jul 17, 2014 18:53

Blue's Clues

how do airplanes even work? what keeps them in the air for so long magnets?

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:15

joke_explainer

Peta posted:

Who ordered Malaysia Airlines Flight 17*********** to fly through war-torn Ukrainian airspace?

And why?

Let's get a head start on the other SA forums and get to the bottom of this fast, BYOB.

Sorry, I referenced the wrong ethnic cleansing incident, in the OP title.

Civilian air traffic has not been redirected. It's relatively easy for anti air systems to distinguish between civilian and military aircraft, which generally fly higher and faster... or lower, and don't beep constantly going HEY I AM A CIVILIAN AT THIS LOCATION.

In 2001 there an S-200 accidentally shot down A TU-54, Siberian Airlines Flight 1812. Basically they launched a missile as a training excersize, but the seeker warhead was armed and just was like 'oh hey I'll blow up that plane, cool'. I wouldn't have thought that kind of malfunction could happen with the more advanced Buk launchers talked about here, the missiles are high performance and cool as all hell when they aren't exploding your civilian aircraft. But I'm guessing something like this happened. Launched the missile and it tracked the slower moving civilian target instead of the military one they were aiming for somehow. We know the 'pro russian rebels' have been engaging in anti-air actions this week, with a couple of Sukhoi-25s getting shot down. So that's my best guess. I really doubt whoever pressed the button meant to down the civilian craft, destroying it fucks things up for both sides...

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:26

i am he

malaysia airlines flight smh17

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:27

joke_explainer

Looks like Ukraine's equivalent of the FAA did shut down civilian air traffic on July 8th.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:40

joke_explainer

Apparently, one of the leaders of the pro-russian rebels posted this shortly after it was shot down, then removed it.

Translation (from goatdrugs):

some insane rear end in a top hat posted:

AN-26 airplane was shot down near Torez, it fell somewhere behind the mine "Progress".
We warned - do not fly in "our sky".
And here is the video proof of another "bird-fall" (bird = slang for an airplane).
Another bird fell behind the spoil tip, residential areas were not affected.
No civilians were harmed.

Doesn't make a lot of sense though, A Boeing-777 doesn't look anything like an AN-26 on radar. The AN-26 is 25 meters long, turboprop, Boeing-777 is 73 meters, wingspan is 29.2 on the AN-26, 64 meters on the 777, and two jets instead of turboprops.

So the service ceiling is 7500 meters on the AN-26. Average cruise altitude is 11,000 meters for the 777. Also, it was moving 2.3 times faster than it is even possible for the AN-26 to move.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:47

Blue's Clues

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

No civilians were harmed

phew!

# ? Jul 17, 2014 19:59

Arnold of Soissons: by XyloJW

my new dog posted:

i never even went to flight school how did i end up here

I never even went home but now Im here

# ? Jul 17, 2014 20:17

pogi

FluffieDuckie posted:

Plane was traveling at 35,000 feet. Shoulder launch missles max out at 22,000 feet.

Fox News analyst: Ofc we can't rule out a shoulder launch missle

it frightens me that you know this, plz don't blow anybody up duckie

# ? Jul 17, 2014 21:33

FluffieDuckie

DrSanchez posted:

it frightens me that you know this, plz don't blow anybody up duckie

doesn't everyone know the range of a ground to air shoulder mount missle? :shrug:

# ? Jul 17, 2014 22:53

Captain No-mates

Arnold of Soissons posted:

np hth

so are the survivors going to be flown back to malasia to be burried or what?

tbh i hope that none of the survivors are buried that seems messed up

# ? Jul 17, 2014 22:57

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Captain No-mates posted:

tbh i hope that none of the survivors are buried that seems messed up

Russians are pretty messed up people.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 22:58

FartGhost

Captain No-mates posted:

tbh i hope that none of the survivors are buried that seems messed up

Don't worry no one survived it

# ? Jul 17, 2014 22:59

Captain No-mates

FartGhost posted:

Don't worry no one survived it

phew

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:00

Captain No-mates

escaped being buried alive

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:01

WindmillSlayer

I sit in a seat. No lights. I sit. No light. I sit. Oxygen mask. I sit. Screaming. I put on my mask. More screaming. A childs screams. Fire. I smell fire.

Water. I see water. I picked a window seat. I breathe deeply. I puke. I scream. Everyone is screaming. I hear a shout of pain. People stand. People fall. I sit.

I see water.

I breathe. It tastes like acid.

I am in my seatbelt. I am in water. My back is in pain. No more screaming. I cannot unbuckle myself.

I breathe.

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:07

joke_explainer

WindmillSlayer posted:

I sit in a seat. No lights. I sit. No light. I sit. Oxygen mask. I sit. Screaming. I put on my mask. More screaming. A childs screams. Fire. I smell fire.

Water. I see water. I picked a window seat. I breathe deeply. I puke. I scream. Everyone is screaming. I hear a shout of pain. People stand. People fall. I sit.

I see water.

I breathe. It tastes like acid.

I am in my seatbelt. I am in water. My back is in pain. No more screaming. I cannot unbuckle myself.

I breathe.

Cool poem, but it didn't land in water afaik

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:11

pogi

WindmillSlayer posted:

I sit in a seat. No lights. I sit. No light. I sit. Oxygen mask. I sit. Screaming. I put on my mask. More screaming. A childs screams. Fire. I smell fire.

Water. I see water. I picked a window seat. I breathe deeply. I puke. I scream. Everyone is screaming. I hear a shout of pain. People stand. People fall. I sit.

I see water.

I breathe. It tastes like acid.

I am in my seatbelt. I am in water. My back is in pain. No more screaming. I cannot unbuckle myself.

I breathe.

watch out windy, duckie doesn't like poetry and she knows how to blow things up :irony:

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:30

Korean Boomhauer

how many americans died, this is all i care about?

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:31

Awesome!: Ready for adventure!

WindmillSlayer posted:

I sit in a seat. No lights. I sit. No light. I sit. Oxygen mask. I sit. Screaming. I put on my mask. More screaming. A childs screams. Fire. I smell fire.

Water. I see water. I picked a window seat. I breathe deeply. I puke. I scream. Everyone is screaming. I hear a shout of pain. People stand. People fall. I sit.

I see water.

I breathe. It tastes like acid.

I am in my seatbelt. I am in water. My back is in pain. No more screaming. I cannot unbuckle myself.

I breathe.

i dont like this new you

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:34

Reset Button

Korean Boomhauer posted:

how many americans died, this is all i care about?

none i think
mostly dutch ppl

# ? Jul 17, 2014 23:40

Noctis Horrendae

Maybe this is actually MH370?

# ? Jul 18, 2014 00:05

joke_explainer

Reset Button posted:

none i think
mostly dutch ppl

like 23 americans are dead

# ? Jul 18, 2014 00:24

problematic hug

problematic hug fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Jul 18, 2014

# ? Jul 18, 2014 00:26

FluffieDuckie

Finn Pennywhistle posted:

oh, we should fly AROUND the warzone? got it

# ? Jul 18, 2014 01:20

my new dog: by Nyc_Tattoo

Finn Pennywhistle posted:

sort of in it

# ? Jul 18, 2014 01:42

i am he

Finn Pennywhistle posted:

haha wow, looks exactly like a penis

# ? Jul 18, 2014 01:45

Nameless_Steve: by Pragmatica

Putin put out a statement saying that it's the Ukrainians' fault.

He never says that the Ukrainians did it, just that it's their fault.

Only the Russian military has the sophisticated missiles that can shoot down a plane at that altitude so it's pretty obvious.

So, how many war criminals have you seen shirtless pictures of? At least one, now.

# ? Jul 18, 2014 01:51

Arnold of Soissons: by XyloJW

FluffieDuckie posted:

oh, we should fly AROUND the warzone? got it

# ? Jul 18, 2014 03:13

dogcrash truther

It's hosed up what happened in flight MJ420 when Steve kicked the bong over

# ? Jul 18, 2014 03:16

i am he

Ted 2 is when the foul mouthed teddy bear named ted takes his drinking problem to the skies

# ? Jul 18, 2014 03:18

joke_explainer

FluffieDuckie posted:

oh, we should fly AROUND the warzone? got it

but that costs lots of fuel and time and is a big logistical nightmare...

on the other hand so does getting blown up, lots of wasted fuel.

the ukranian FAA (not actually named that) shut down civilian flights in the area but there were still a ton of international flights flying through areas not deemed risky, that changed real quick after that though and you aren't seeing many airplanes flying through there.

# ? Jul 18, 2014 05:49