|
My grandpa made Stephen King a bad writer.
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 20:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 15:13 |
|
|
Phil Niekro posted:my grandpa eats raw ground beef sandwiches good choice
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 21:00
|
|
|
my grandpa was a window salesman/wannabe con man who had like six wives and gambled away all his money, then leaving his 6 children with his elderly immigrant mother who didn't speak english. after they were teenagers he came back with another wife. he also joined the army after korea for the GI bill benefits and got the gently caress out when he heard of rumblings in vietnam. he's completely broke and depends on my dad, social security and tricare to live. he's a pretty cool dude, though. a much much better grandfather than he was a father apparantly icantfindaname fucked around with this message at 21:14 on Sep 8, 2014 |
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 21:10
|
|
|
dead
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 21:19
|
|
|
When my grandpa died, my mom had nightmares about him coming to kill her.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 21:28
|
|
|
When my grandpa died that loving rear end in a top hat Macklemore ended up with a good majority of his wardrobe. My grandpa is dead and he's a dickhead.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 21:37
|
|
|
I am Toni Lippi posted:When my grandpa died that loving rear end in a top hat Macklemore ended up with a good majority of his wardrobe. My grandpa is dead and he's a dickhead. Huh, so he doesn't just wear your grandpas clothes in the colloquial sense, he was literally wearing your grandpas clothes? problematic.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:26
|
|
|
All four of my grandparents died from lung cancer before I got to know them. Don't smoke kiddos.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:43
|
|
|
same and dont work with asbestos
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:45
|
|
|
also dont be 95 thats a tough one
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:46
|
|
|
My grandpa used to make 2 holes in the ground then say ones my assholw and the others a hole in the ground and then ask me which one was my rear end in a top hat. If I answered hed grab my rear end and tell i was wrong and thats my rear end in a top hat. He was a creepy old man, and from what my dad says, A huge rear end in a top hat.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:55
|
|
|
My grandpa was nearly crushed by a burning hot air balloon. He ran away and the hot air balloon was descending behind him and he kept running and it kept coming down diagonally behind him and he was faced with this horrible decision of whether to dive forward or leap back and hope it went over his head or to roll to the side but he couldn't judge the perspective so he just kept running and the hot air balloon crashed like an inch behind him and then the actual balloon part kept coming down and he had to run a bit more. He survived and was so happy that he went home and had a go on my mee-maw and my mother was conceived.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:57
|
|
|
my grandpa killed a bunch of chinese dudes in Korea then he went back home, became an officer and raised a good family and was a really nice guy.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:59
|
|
|
ColdReaches posted:My grandpa won 2 bronze stars and 3 silver stars. he willed them to me. i wonder how many goons are lying their sweaty little nuts off and how many have real cool bad rear end grampses but it doesnt matter cause 1 drop of goon blood means its all goon
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 22:59
|
|
|
Dad's dad could spin & click his dentures; mom's dad taught me about the drat Jews.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:01
|
|
|
grandpa : and when i went up the ramp to get on the boat to sail home from Guadalcanal i whipped out my cock and pissed on the island, everyone cheered me.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:02
|
|
|
a story i heard from my uncles who had heard it from grandpa: some privates in the same company as grandpa shot one of their officers near the end of the war because they didn't want to die for his medals
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:07
|
|
|
Hogge Wild posted:a story i heard from my uncles who had heard it from grandpa: some privates in the same company as grandpa shot one of their officers near the end of the war because they didn't want to die for his medals idgi but thats fun
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:25
|
|
|
My paternal grandpa stayed at home during WW2 and designed the intensive forestry techniques required to replant them all through the UK after they were decimated over the course of the war. My other grandpa was the worlds biggest misogynist and believed that women weren't deserving of names and called them all the same name - varying it weekly.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:40
|
|
|
cynic posted:My other grandpa was the worlds biggest misogynist and believed that women weren't deserving of names and called them all the same name - varying it weekly. lol drat what kind of names
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:46
|
|
|
My grandpas ship was the only ship in the American fleet to not receive a single causality during the war. He was basically Cotton Hill in his latter years, though.
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:49
|
|
|
my grandpa was shot in the head while he was sleeping during a home invasion by 2 redneck meth addicts
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:51
|
|
|
THS posted:my grandpa was shot in the head while he was sleeping during a home invasion by 2 redneck meth addicts he died knowing u have a good av, friend
|
|
#
?
Sep 8, 2014 23:55
|
|
|
My grandfather helped reverse-engineer the Me-262's jet engines after the war, and worked with Von Braun on adapting the V-2. Von Braun was a frequent dinner guest when my father was a child. My grandfather went on to work on Apollo program and the engines of the SR-71. His favorite hobby was counting cards at Blackjack in Indian casinos.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 00:02
|
|
|
My grandpa was a greaser dude in the 50s and got kicked out of high school. He joined the navy, and when he got back, he became a teacher. He quickly worked his way up the school board food chain and eventually became the boss of the principal who kicked him out of high school.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 00:03
|
|
|
Since I'm old as gently caress my grandpa was in WW1. He was at the Somme for a week or so, when a big German shell exploded near him and buried him alive. Some guys saw his foot sticking out of the dirt and dug him out, and he was sent back to England to recuperate, where he started banging his nurse. He eventually married her though, and brought her back home with him, and they produced our family. My dad got to sit in Goering's big chair in his office after the war, but everyone was taking turns doing that.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 02:56
|
|
|
my grandpa was a kentucky coal miner who got passed over in the ww1 draft and would randomly start crying a lot, then he died. no relation
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 02:57
|
|
|
my grandpa was a MP in the army and got out right before 'nam escalated and they called him up and dangled nco promotion to come back in at its height. he said gently caress you lol and later went on to work under jack kilby then he became mayor of a small town and now he's a demented retard but i'll miss him when hes gone
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:05
|
|
|
My grandpa was a head engineer at 3m. One time Clorox paid 3m a ton of money to create a cost effective lid for its cleanser. My grandpa was the one that put a piece if tape over the holes. He did some other cool poo poo too like invent a machine that makes Christmas bows and hating the Japs.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:08
|
|
|
my grandpa said if you ever need to personally surrender yourself in a war against england, america, and russia, make sure you surrender to england because you are least likely to die.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:09
|
|
|
One of my grandfathers built Oak Ridge
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:09
|
|
|
I never met one as he died 15 years before I was born, and the other was a drunk that never bothered to visit us (even at xmas, he'd rather drink and fish (which sounds p sweet now that i think about it)) and my dad hated him anyway so yeah. In fact my extended family is pretty retarded in general, so is my immediate but the extended is just on another level of dysfunction. thank you for reading.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:14
|
|
|
My grandpa survived Nazis attacking his Sherman tank. Also had a great uncle that survived a kamikaze attack in the pacific. The grandfather kept the shrapnel that ended up in his leg in his collection.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 03:35
|
|
|
they both died. one was a radio personality and apparently braodast from the top of the honolulu tower during perl harbor or something. idk. also used my mom as a drug mule for johnny cash. other one was normal dude with a big dick
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 04:03
|
|
|
Grandpa, on my Dads side, was an electrical engineer. Worked for Grumman in the 60s and 70s. Apparently did some of the wiring on a few lunar landers.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 06:14
|
|
|
My grandpa is long dead but he was an Atlanta cop during the 1960s. He drove the paddy wagon during the Civil Rights movement so he arrested many famous people and even threw some out of second story windows. He taught me how to break someone's pinky. I inherited his police revolver and his pump action .22 rifle.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 06:23
|
|
|
I never met my paternal grandpa I heard he was a mean drunk who abandoned his wife and kids and then died in a ditch somewhere which is pretty cool in and of itself
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 06:25
|
|
|
My maternal grandfather was a WWII Marine who fought on Iwo Jima. He can't wiggle his pinky toe because of an incident when him and some buddies were hunting land crabs with machetes. He was a full-bird Colonel by the time he left the military. My paternal grandfather flew cargo planes in the ETO, often transporting copies of Stars and Stripes. He gave a general a lift one time and the dude was so impressed he took my grandfather on as his personal pilot. He also has some cool photos he took of Mount Vesuvius(I think) erupting.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 06:25
|
|
|
Disco Infiva posted:My grandad died peacefully in his sleep, unlike the screaming passengers in his bus. Stealing from Jack Handey? Booooo.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 06:42
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 15:13 |
|
|
My grandad almost got killed in 1945 by advancing Partisans because of his German surname. Luckily, one of them recognized him, vouched for him and gave him a sweet German Mauser that I still have to this day.
|
|
#
?
Sep 9, 2014 08:39
|
|
