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we had a kid in elementary school who would smear feces all over the walls of the boys bathroom to the point that we all had to sign in and out of one of those little black and white books every time we went to the bathroom, then we had to sign in and go in pairs. nothing worked, the fecal smearer just kept doing it and as far as i know they never caught him. in fifth grade a friend of mine who lived through the woods and over the moss covered bridge at dead mans swamp, used a power drill to carefully work around the edge of one of his floor boards in his bedroom that lay beneath a rug. Inside he tried to make homemade wine and then moonshine but it never quite worked out. He also traded porn hidden inside hollowed out magic markers, like a folded up page of a playboy
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Jan 8, 2016 20:36
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Skeleton Ape posted:Gas lines do not work this way. yeah microwave's mom was probably thinking of windmills
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Jan 8, 2016 20:38
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One kid liked to pull his hair out. He said it came out pretty easy. I asked him how come and he said it was because he used Lever 2000 shampoo.
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Jan 8, 2016 20:42
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anyone else go to school with a kid who grew up to shake his/her baby to death? i feel like there were a bunch of those stories in the last thread
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Jan 8, 2016 20:58
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Laughing pretty hard at all the "my friend was short ugly and weird but I was super normal and well adjusted" comments. Bet others saw it differently... Edit: Right after elementary school and not really the kids fault, but my favorite story was during football practice this one kid had those (new at the time) transition lenses. Long story short our coach blew up at us and concentrated his rage on the quiet nerd for wearing what he thought were sunglasses. He ripped them off his face threw them across the field and yelled at him for what seemed like 5 min straight. The kid was so shaken he couldnt muster the ability to explain that they were prescriptions. Everyone else couldn't breathe we were laughing so hard. He left the team and got contacts after the incident. EvilBlackRailgun fucked around with this message at 21:18 on Jan 8, 2016 |
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Jan 8, 2016 21:04
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1 time a kid laughed a lot while poop
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Jan 8, 2016 21:05
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I remember one probably autistic kid in the esl/special kids class in my elementary that lived on my street. Shaun was his name, and inexplicable anger was his game. I remember vividly two experiences with him. One time, a teacher caught him at his usual break time habit of wandering aimlessly and cursing under his breath at the day's slights. The teacher asked him what was wrong, and he cursed him out as I had not known it possible for a 5th grader. He also got in a fight with a kid, and attempted to charge up his punch ala final fantasy tactics or something like that by holding his arm back in the air. Didn't work out to my knowledge, the kid just walked away.
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Jan 8, 2016 21:10
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i was homeschooled grades 1 - 12 and sometimes my sister would yell at me from the other side of the room
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Jan 8, 2016 21:43
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alright, another round of 10. Shannon - she was partly Middle-Eastern and got bullied for it often before she smashed a kid's head with a lunch tray and cracked his skull. she plays soccer now at college and i think her dad won the lottery or something. Barry - he was the token "perfect" kid at my school. straight As, lots of friends, and a soccer star. i went to high school with him too and he was class vice-president all four years while also juggling several other clubs and soccer. last time i checked he applied to Stanford. dunno if he got in. Claude - he got a blowjob in 6th or 7th grade from another girl and bragged about it for the rest of Catholic school. i went to high school with him, too. he had a brief hippie phase and then became a prep with the standard boat shoes & pastel clothes combination. Cameron - he was wider than he was tall for christ's sakes. he ate an entire 50-piece McNugget on a field trip and then went back for more. he is also fanatically in love with the Steelers and moved to Pittsburgh as soon as he graduated high school. Marissa - she was pretty much the most beautiful girl in our class and everyone lusted after her once the hormones hit. apparently there was some brains behind the beauty because she studies pre-med at Johns fuckin' Hopkins. Mia - she had a crush on me in 1st grade, tried to give me a note, dropped it, and ran away crying. i don't think we ever talked more than 5 times after that. she's married to another girl now so i have my doubts about how serious she was crushing on me. Troy - in 6th grade he leaned too far back in his chair, fell backwards, and somehow got his head stuck in the hole on the back. it took the janitor ten minutes to ease him out. he's in the Navy now, which i suppose is only fitting. Taylor - another Plain Jane, but at some point during high school she cut off all her hair, grew it out a few inches again, and dyed it maroon. it looks terrifying now, though i suppose it's because she's now a feminazi. Patrick - he would always get sent to the principal's office for having hair longer than the regulations would allow. i haven't actually heard anything from him since 8th grade but apparently he dropped out of high school and is on probation for keying and slashing the tires on his ex-girlfriend's car. Eric - he was always a dick to everyone and we hated him. it wasn't until later i found out that his dad died in 9/11 and he had attempted suicide multiple times in middle school, so now i feel bad. at least he's apparently a star pitcher on his college's baseball team. symbolic fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Jan 8, 2016 |
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Jan 8, 2016 21:44
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symbolic posted:alright, another round of 10. Good grief you cranked the crazy to 11 WHAO
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Jan 8, 2016 21:53
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symbolic posted:
4 years as vice president, wow talk about a lack of drive/ambition.
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Jan 8, 2016 21:58
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a starwar betamax posted:Good grief you cranked the crazy to 11 WHAO also don't worry, elementary school me makes up for any lack of craziness
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Jan 8, 2016 22:03
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Hector Beerlioz posted:4 years as vice president, wow talk about a lack of drive/ambition.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:08
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symbolic posted:i never said everyone in my grade school was a lunatic But who were you in school? Oh gently caress me I just realized one time in the Catholic school the white Michael spread a rumor that I looked down the shirt of the girl that I gave the burger king cards to and it got spread around and at recess all of the boys crowded around me and went "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH" like I just scored. Eventually the managers had to break things up and for the rest of the day all the boys giggled at me. Then I subconsciously friend zoned one of the girls with huge tits and dark brown hair after the whole incident.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:11
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There was one girl back in elementray Ann something oro ther she had a really weird name. All I remember is this girl was 100% psycho. She had crazy eyes and would grind her teeth angrily for no reason at times. One time I was on the playground set just fooling around when she turned and looked right at me with that look and started to charge me. I was scared shitless (I was probably in 1st grade at the time) and cornered as she charged. So I held out my hand in a fist and closed my eyes. She ran right into my first, like she probably had a few good seconds stopping time but she went RIGHT INTO IT.. I couldn't believe it. I got into trouble for hitting her, lol even though she was the one that ran into me. A year later I got into trouble for something else and when the teacher was yelling at me for running across an iced over drainage bed I remember another teacher came in and asked "Is this the one who hit Ann-leann?" Apparently I'm not the first person to hit her in self defense or fear.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:12
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In kindergarten this dude named Tim punched me in the face. I asked him why he did that and he said he didn't know. That's how I lost my first tooth.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:15
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EorayMel posted:But who were you in school? the stories i have about myself...oi
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Jan 8, 2016 22:19
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:i threw a kid's boots on the roof. mumphrey reigned supreme that day let me tell you da mumph strikes again!!!
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Jan 8, 2016 22:21
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THE DOG HOUSE posted:I knew a girl who gave blowjobs in 5th grade. I literally didn't know what that was at the time. i'm still not sure, that's the thing where they stick a bicycle pump in your urethra and inflate it like a party balloon right?
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Jan 8, 2016 22:24
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Jukeboxblues posted:I was friends with this dude who literally never did any work. He would just stare out the window or make jokes. One time we did some national test for math and he falls asleep 5 minutes into it. After the 3 hour exam was done I asked him if he was worried about failing because he slept through the entire thing and he just shrugged. He apparently just circled random answers as fast as he could so he could sleep (the whole thing was multiple choice). We get the results back a few weeks later and the principle hands him a trophy, proud as poo poo. He got in the top 5% in the country from sheer dumb luck. It was loving awesome. Thats not what happened. I was the same way in elementary school, he finished the test. I would be able to finish those tests so quickly. Never did poo poo, always got good grades. He was just trying to not look super smart.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:29
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bruvs be4 luvs
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I don't know what the story was that resulted in this happening, but a girl once bit one of the PE teachers.
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Jan 8, 2016 22:30
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Just remembered this one downy kid that would pick up and throw smaller kids all the time, usually into a body of water if one was near by. It was an impressive feat of strength and it made him as happy as a human can possibly be.
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Jan 8, 2016 23:32
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Dubplate Fire posted:Thats not what happened. I was the same way in elementary school, he finished the test. I would be able to finish those tests so quickly. Never did poo poo, always got good grades. He was just trying to not look super smart. are you in MENSA
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Jan 8, 2016 23:35
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Jerry Mumphrey posted:i threw a kid's boots on the roof. mumphrey reigned supreme that day let me tell you I dont believe you the J Mump I know is not a bully ):
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Jan 9, 2016 00:13
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In first grade there was a kid who would vomit in class almost once every week and have to go to the nurse/leave class for the day. When I ran into him in community college he told me that the house his family lived in at the time was a giant health hazard. He's kinda weird but a pretty cool guy now who doesn't vomit on a dime. Kind of outside the scope of this thread, but in middle school I knew a girl who would do constant weird things. The only one I clearly remember was during one of the in-between periods where she shouted "WHO WANTS TO SUCK MY HUGE loving BLACK COCK" in the hallway.
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Jan 9, 2016 00:30
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Moldy Taxes posted:The only one I clearly remember was during one of the in-between periods where she shouted "WHO WANTS TO SUCK MY HUGE loving BLACK COCK" in the hallway. the predecessor to the now well loved "gently caress HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY" meme
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Jan 9, 2016 00:48
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Nooner posted:I dont believe you the J Mump I know is not a bully ): ive reformed my wicked ways
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Jan 9, 2016 00:48
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since i was the strange, fat, lonely kid in grade school, i have boatloads of stories about myself. i'll share a couple from K-1 grades since i don't feel like typing about my peers right now. in kindergarten, i really had to go to the bathroom one morning but my teacher didn't see my raised hand for at least 20 minutes. at that point i gave up and shat myself. i kinda just sat there until someone noticed the smell and told the teacher. i got sent to the nurse's office to clean up and then got sent home because they thought i was sick. thankfully no one remembered that. also in kindergarten, we had nap time which was more so "lay-down-on-mats-for-20-minutes" time. one day i fell asleep and no one bothered to wake me up until 2:00, two hours after nap time was supposed to be over. i still don't know why they let me sleep on the floor that long. in 1st grade i found an envelope in the school parking lot during recess and i went to the lost and found to turn it in. i got stopped on the way there by the music teacher who told me that an envelope didn't belong in the lost and found. i argued with her for 15 minutes before i gave up and threw it away. the real problem was that recess had ended like 10 minutes earlier and i wasn't there when we had roll call. my class stood outside for 10 minutes calling my name before i came back from my argument. then the teacher yelled at me and i cried. i don't remember how exactly it started, but from kindergarten through 1st grade some 7th or 8th grader would play catch with me. i thought i just got lucky and had second recess by myself. it wasn't until later that i realized they brought someone in to teach me how to catch a ball. i was that retarded back then.
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Jan 9, 2016 00:54
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symbolic posted:since i was the strange, fat, lonely kid in grade school, i have boatloads of stories about myself. i'll share a couple from K-1 grades since i don't feel like typing about my peers right now. dude I'm pretty sure every kid shat themselves at some point in kindergarten, there's really nothing crazy about that. one crazy thing I did in elementary school: teacher assigned teams for ultimate frisbee, I was so mad that I wasn't in my best friend's team that I lost on purpose, I don't remember what the teacher or my teamates did, probably just told me to to cut it out, I mean it's ultimate frisbee we're talking about for pete's sake.
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Jan 9, 2016 01:41
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Kurtofan posted:dude I'm pretty sure every kid shat themselves at some point in kindergarten, there's really nothing crazy about that. i think you and i have varying definitions here
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Jan 9, 2016 01:44
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More from 1st-3rd grade... Back in 1st-grade there was a kid called Charles. He had a pair of mittens attached to his coat via strings and would walk around and yell "human being!!" and "I'MMA PIMP SLAP YOU!!!!" but never actually did so. Two girls tried to teach him manners but their efforts were all for naught. Also his desk was right at the teacher's for extra supervision. Cory was a nice kid, got in trouble sometimes but spiced up the classroom by hoarding erasers. I most fondly remember the time we toured a chocolate factory and when we were going through portraits, Cory performed a raspberry to one of the inanimate portraits in an instant. He did so without getting busted by the tour guides as well. I don't know why that was so funny, but it stuck to me all these years. Then we had David, someone who kept trying to pick fights with people. The first time he did it to me he pounded on my chest non stop but accomplished nothing. The second time I got fed up with his poo poo and uppercutted him, knocking off his glasses and made sure he would never bother me again. ...poo poo, can't think of any other things students did, much less their names as of now. Now, a bit about me: Similar to Cory, I collected pencils that rolled around my desk and hoarded them. The pencils I found off the floor, I chewed up like a pack of hungry termites found it. And let me tell you, I amassed well over twenty pencils over the school year. Somehow the pathogens found on a dirty school floor didn't infiltrate my system and give me AIDS. We had a blacktop and a twenty by twenty area with playing equipment, where the area had a foot of gravel put it in. Every day I would come home, take off my shoes, and dump a dozen small rocks onto the floor. The slide kicked rear end, especially when I went down and kicked a girl that was sitting on the bottom end with my dirty rear end shoes after repeated warnings by me. I blew some kid's mind when I wrote the word "noodle" then covered up the "le" part with my hand. I think that kid was the one that could alternate between neighing like a horny stallion and snorting like a fighting bull in an instant. I was unable to comprehend how to use belts, and when we were playing belt tag I had to stay in the gym for an extra 15 minutes with the gym teacher yelling at me on how to remove a belt. The worst part was when the next class came in and 30 pairs of eyes were silently watching and judging me. Later I bawled my eyes out from watching the march of the penguins. Seeing a dozen penguins get eviscerated when you're about 8 years old does some loving damage, man.  I also stabbed someone with a super sharp pencil in 1st grade, I have no loving clue why but somehow I got off the hook.
EorayMel fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Jan 9, 2016 |
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Jan 9, 2016 01:58
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EorayMel posted:
Ok, fess up. Which one of you is Charles?
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Jan 9, 2016 02:07
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EorayMel posted:
that poo poo came out in 2005 
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Jan 9, 2016 02:19
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Nooner posted:that poo poo came out in 2005 I'm not good with numbers. All I know is that I was young when I saw the dvd release of it via class. symbolic posted:i was 8 in '05, Noonie. i saw that movie in theaters. Yeah, I saw it in theaters before as well. It got worse the second time around. EorayMel fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Jan 9, 2016 |
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Jan 9, 2016 02:21
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Nooner posted:that poo poo came out in 2005
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Jan 9, 2016 02:25
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when did I get old 
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Jan 9, 2016 02:26
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Nooner posted:when did I get old The march of time stops for no one
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Jan 9, 2016 02:32
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I grew up in a very impoverished area of the rural south. There were two little boys who lived kinda near me who came from an absolute white trash family and they always smelled horrible, like I'm not sure their house had working plumbing or anything. Every time they got off the bus, kids would lean out of the windows and spit on them because it was 'the only way they ever shower'.  I think later their parents died or something and they moved away. I hope they went to place where they were taken care of and nobody spat on them anymore.
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Jan 9, 2016 02:34
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Nooner posted:when did I get old
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Jan 9, 2016 02:37
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craziest guy i knew in elementary school walked off on day during recess. Don't know what happened to him because that was 25 years ago
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Jan 9, 2016 02:37
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