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Lucky Guy posted:that's how you get mattress ghosts that sounds so comfy right now.  
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Oct 3, 2016 14:15
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How big we talkin OP. Since you aren't in america presumably, I'm guessing you have some euro-gay sized mattress here. Put it up against the window and kind of wedge it in there like a U shape and push that poo poo right out. also whats his name
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Oct 3, 2016 14:30
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:38
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:41
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You could go to a hardware store and get a ventilator/mask used for spray painting? I don't know if it would keep out the smell while you're working, but I use em for repair work. I think mine was USD $30.
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Oct 3, 2016 14:42
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why are you doing this again OP?
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Oct 3, 2016 14:42
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When I worked in a nursing home there was a couple of old men whose pee stench smelled exactly like fish and chips, heavy on the salt and vinegar. The odour was intense and lingering. As foul as it was I credit it with improving my health by making me eat less greasy foods. edit- also cured me of my piss fetish. So all things considered it was a positive experience being exposed to the old man pee. Moon Atari fucked around with this message at 14:49 on Oct 3, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:46
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Oct 3, 2016 14:49
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open the damned windows overnight and buy a half dozen of these to put in each room. . as long as you lysol the hell out of the place first... it will smell like a million bucks. https://www.amazon.com/Pet-Exterminator-Orange-Lemon-Splash/dp/B000O3BFSY Maybe take the label off if you keep them around after he gets back... let the man have SOME dignity. Don't ask me why I know this. warcraft_boyfriend_99 fucked around with this message at 14:57 on Oct 3, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:53
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:55
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just spray some febreze on it
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Oct 3, 2016 15:01
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Buy a plastic mattress cover so he doesn't end up making another piss sponge out of the new one.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:15
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http://www.kyliecare.com.au/the-kylie-range/ One of these will allow him to piss himself in comfort and save him from having to wash his entire fitted sheet every time.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:37
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Just put a plastic sheet on the old mattress and the new one on top. It will save you the hassle and it will be fun to climb and fall from.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:44
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They make mattress covers (and mattresses but $$$) for people with his problem op, consider one of those too. The current mattress probably only got to its ammoniac state after distilling weeks or months of piss inside it.
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Oct 3, 2016 15:49
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lay on it and press your unguent against it
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Oct 3, 2016 16:37
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tongue sorry spilled beer on m keyboard last nigh and everyother night
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Oct 3, 2016 16:37
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unpacked robinhood posted:post some photos of the hovel
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Oct 3, 2016 18:14
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Burn the mattress and sweep up the ashes. No moving required.
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Oct 3, 2016 18:15
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DONT be a sissy Move the pissy
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Oct 3, 2016 18:24
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Dr Sun Try posted:you mentioned a cat seriously op, post the mattress for gently caress's sake
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Oct 3, 2016 18:49
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If it's in the mattress it's probably in the carpet etc. too Seconding the dehumidifier, then you can sprinkle baking soda (sodium bicarbonate if your country is weird) on the carpet and let it sit, then vacuum.
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Oct 3, 2016 18:57
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You can be super tactful by telling the old man you replaced the mattress "because the cat peed on it." And that you think his cat should be put down. No pics pls, if he found out he'd die of shame. And who wants to see a pissy mattress, it's not like we can smell it for a thrill. The dehumidifier idea sounds good. Some portable air conditioners have that function. But the friend who lent it to you might become an ex-friend after it comes back smelling of piss. Use lots of room & surface sprays, ethanol based or Febreeze / Ambi Pur, which chemically neutralises smells rather than masks them.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:23
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verbal enema posted:tongue sorry spilled beer on m keyboard last nigh and everyother night You will soon be just like the old man.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:29
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Hire some Mexicans op.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:32
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 19:43
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leave him a couple of handles of vodka too, he'll probably be thirsty after getting out of the hospital
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Oct 3, 2016 19:48
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be sure to bleach the hell out of that mattress so the piss stains go away and the hobos won't know it's a piss filled mattress
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Oct 3, 2016 20:09
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Just febreeze it dude. 
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Oct 3, 2016 20:17
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Get some of that urine odor remover for cats and dogs, the ennzymes help break down the scent molecules, instead of just masking it. Also good for any other surfaces you feel charitable enough to de-pissify for him. Stuff like https://www.amazon.com/Pet-Urine-Odor-Stain-Remover/dp/B00NC0GU2C But get a 55 gallon drum of it. Bicarbonate, water, and vinegar can help a bit too. Also dehumidifier for sure as others have said.
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Oct 3, 2016 20:29
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op, you should do a boston clanger on the mattress
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Oct 3, 2016 20:32
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Drop liquid nitrogen on it, it will break the piss molecules at the atomic level and help you achieve valhalla op
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Oct 3, 2016 20:32
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put a heavy duty matress cover on the new matress, we got one at my house because my gf is allergic to dust mites but it's paid off in spaids for when we pee/poop on eachother and then roll around in it like animals.
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Oct 3, 2016 20:37
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This guy is gonna be so mad when he comes home and finds that you've replaced his mattress full of money with a non-money-filled mattress.
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Oct 3, 2016 20:38
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fist4jesus posted:No its not mine. Wear gloves, don't be whiny, haul it off. Shower and wash your clothes. You'll be fine.
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Oct 3, 2016 21:23
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Wring the mattress over a tub and donate the piss to the piss shelter
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Oct 3, 2016 21:25
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 22:06
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Tell your peepee papa the new mattress will turn purple when exposed to urine
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Oct 3, 2016 22:32
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fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 6, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 22:50
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social vegan posted:you could get a casper and pee on it while it's still crammed up in the small delivery box so you get the most coverage/volume Are those any good? I'm looking for a new mattress now
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Oct 3, 2016 23:38
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