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also it was the premeds who were on meth to cram for orgo and the MCATs
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Nov 10, 2017 03:28
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 23:32 |
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i know someone who got a 36 on the mcats after a 3 day meth cram bender. really incredible
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Nov 10, 2017 03:29
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graph posted:i know someone who got a 36 on the mcats after a 3 day meth cram bender. really incredible the speed you need to succeed
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Nov 10, 2017 03:35
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meth is magic but those fuckers have the worst bo
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Nov 10, 2017 03:37
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update: i took a shower and now i dont notice the smell. thank u to the guy that told me to wash my dick :]
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Nov 16, 2017 18:13
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obstipator posted:update: i took a shower and now i dont notice the smell. thank u to the guy that told me to wash my dick :]   
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Nov 16, 2017 18:26
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flakeloaf posted:i've had dead people puke on me, huh I kind of want to hear that story
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Nov 16, 2017 20:09
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I just switched medications and a weird side effect is that everything either smells funny or doesn't smell funny any more (I'm not sure which). Either way it's super annoying and I hope I get used to it soon.
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Nov 17, 2017 02:59
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try smelling your own farts.
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Nov 17, 2017 04:47
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Spray axe everywhere, maybe two bad smells will cancel each other out
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Nov 17, 2017 06:26
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can confirm the visiting contractor that camped in my vicinity had the title for the day. a good musk of bo and old crayon box which both baffled and worried me
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Nov 17, 2017 06:45
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COACHS SPORT BAR posted:huh When you die, your smooth muscles go through rigour too, tensing up impossibly hard and then falling open again. If you never thought you'd be strong enough to plank with only your head and heels touching, I've got fantastic news for you. The mortician's assistant (me) shows up before you've really committed to being dead like that, so your entire GI system is still a loose bag with liquid on the bottom, a dusting of blackened digested blood in the middle and air on top. Stand that system upright and the liquid up here's gonna race against the air down there to see who can get to where it belongs first, and whatever's left is coming out of the mouth. It's more correctly called purge than puke, cause it's a lot of things in it that ain't puke; if you wanted to be really technical it's called "coffee grounds" purge because that's what digested clumps of blood look like. This part's important later. If you're a smart body snatcher, you spend the way up to his room figuring out how to get him back down again without anything more than the gentle, head-up incline that the embalmer likes. Tilt him level or head-down and his face will fill with whatever's in his blood vessels; once livor's in you're not getting it out again, which makes the embalmer's job about a million times harder because the poor fucker's got to mix colours to bring THAT closer to what dude looked like in life. It also annoys the makeup artist cause you can't turn Gorbachev into Yul Brynner. More immediately, if you happen to tilt him head-down you're going to spend the rest of the evening cleaning your kit and no matter how much spray nine you use, everything you smell's gonna remind you of purge for the next two, three days easy. Anyway. Head-end up, but the less up the better. Early evening, tiny apartment, very narrow space, no way the one-man stretcher (an ambulance style liftjack type that one person can operate alone) is gonna fit in there, so we have to bring in the two-man: two folding metal rods with a sheet of vinyl between them and seatbelts on the front. It's a seriously hard piece of kit to use because if the belts are too loose then the moment you aren't holding Uncle Fred perfectly laser-straight level, his weight's gonna shift and all three of you are going down the fuckin stairs, but if they're too tight you're going to raise the pressure of his internal organs and that's not a thing you want. So we get the two-man in there, and in that tiny space we had to sit him up to get him into position for the board. I was the weaker of the two of us, but I was also the newbie so I got the head end. Being the newbie I didn't know that I should've covered his face before changing the angle of the neck, and the vet's not gonna tell me because that poo poo's hilarious. I sit him up, gurgle, blurk, something that looks just like coffee grounds stirred into a dilute green smoothie sputters onto my jacket. Partner, being the helpful sort, drops the feet and silently laughs at me. "Gotta sheet him first bro". "Yeah thanks, by the way gently caress you bro". I miss that guy sometimes. We sheet him and cover the stretcher in its corduroy carpet bag, which does a great job of containing the contents but a rather poor job of making the stretcher easy to handle. It's now a honey badger on sticks. We already know that on the way OUT we aren't going to be able to keep this thing horizontal. We try anyway, at one point we've got him lying horizontal but on a 45° sideways tilt (put a 200 pound bag of sand on a board, tie it down with 1 rope then rotate it, and if it falls off you're fired) and it just ain't gonna go. We've gotta stand him up. Air bubbles up, liquid bubbles down, the inside of our poor sheet must be filling with something irrevocable, and it sounds EXACTLY like a perc coffee machine. To this day I can't hear a coffee maker without thinking of a gurgling body, the two are so alike. So picture us, dressed in cheap but sombre suits, me with something new on my arm, walking a man-sized carpet bag through the apartment on its handle-legs, with buddy percolating away inside it. There's probably a word in English to describe the look on the family members' faces as we left, but I don't know it. And that's the story of the day a dead guy puked on me. Thanks for listening. flakeloaf fucked around with this message at 15:12 on Nov 17, 2017 |
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Nov 17, 2017 14:55
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That was really cool, macabre, and informative. I learned a bunch of new things today on the funny computer forum.
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Nov 17, 2017 21:39
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 23:32 |
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I'm feeling so informed bless
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Nov 17, 2017 23:26
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