|
*Sees 4 missed calls from dad* *assumes it's something important* "how do I read my email on a different computer?!"
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 07:36
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 22:47 |
|
|
My father doesn't understand cell phones. 4 missed calls from dad. 2 voicemails that say to call him. 5 texts asking of I can call him when I get a chance. One text accidentally sent to my email. I text him that I'm in a meeting and will call him after. All in the space of about 2 hours. What does he want? "What time are we meeting for dinner?" He absolutely cannot, will not, under pain of death, say what he wants to say unless he's talking directly to you. Doesn't matter if he doesn't know when dinner is or he needs me to take him to the hospital because he fell off a ladder that he's not supposed to be on anyway. Jay_Zombie fucked around with this message at 07:55 on Feb 2, 2018 |
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 07:50
|
|
|
“If you ever walk away from me again I will kick your loving teeth in you piece of poo poo.”
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 07:56
|
|
|
"God, you look like a fag from hell"
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 17:50
|
|
|
*dad calls me* son, i don't believe a word you say, and neither does anybody else *hangs up*
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:00
|
|
|
My mom recently had knee replacement surgery, and my dad's been texting a lot more since he's bored out of his mind in the house alone. "Ya we just had a really bad time on the steps and some bitched worked her leg over in pt today" "not busy must b nice 2 sit on your rear end and get paid" "just wanted 2 tell u how very proud u make me you r a good man luv u bye" My dad rules.
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:03
|
|
|
Young man i found your porn stash and it's the lamest collection of vanilla bullshit that i've ever seen and also i found your reefer stash and it's the weakest poo poo i've ever smoked. Get out.
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:19
|
|
|
"I HATE hashtag"
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:25
|
|
|
"I don't hate lesbians, but I wish they wouldn't just throw it in my face." - my gay dad
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:47
|
|
|
*silence for decades*
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:52
|
|
|
"you look familiar. Did we ever work together?"
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 18:58
|
|
|
I just don't understand!!
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 19:45
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HA_XMJDe48
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 19:53
|
|
|
Cucky pizzone- my mom
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 19:55
|
|
|
A Fancy Hat posted:My mom recently had knee replacement surgery, and my dad's been texting a lot more since he's bored out of his mind in the house alone. lmao this is hella my dad since he retired. at first it wasnt too bad but then he discovered imgur and now in addition I get tons of old memes as a bonus
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 20:16
|
|
|
Jay_Zombie posted:
This drives me bonkers.
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 20:27
|
|
|
Signed texts
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 20:45
|
|
|
lol parents are so lame haha
|
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 20:46
|
|
|
Moridin920 posted:This drives me bonkers. Right? And inevitably, I call him, and he doesn't loving answer. So he waits till he know's I'm at work, and calls me three or four more times, and I call him back, and he doesn't answer. Repeat for at least two days. And then, when he finally answers, he's completely unprepared to receive a phone call, even if it's mere seconds after he texted me to call him. And it's always the same thing: *ring* *ring* *Boop*  HELLO? Hey dad, it's me*sssssssshhhhhh* *bang* HOLD ON...*scrape* MOTHERFU *sssssshhhhh**bang* *rattle* HELLO?*beep boop boop beep boop* PIECE OF poo poo*beeeep* *speakerphone activate!!* HELLO?*sounds of a busy bar in the background* Dad it's me, you wanted me to call you. I CAN'T HEAR YOU. I'M AT THE BAR. I'LL CALL YOU BACK LATER.*boop*  And yeah, it doesn't matter where he is, who he's talking to, or who's around, that poo poo's going on speakerphone at MAX VOLUME. Super Grocery Kart posted:Signed texts My father signs every text with guitar, puppydog, sunglasses smiley. So pretty much every text I have from him, is some variation of, "Call me when you get a chance : guitar: :puppydog: :sunglasses smiley:" He is the WORST at texting. Jay_Zombie fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Feb 2, 2018 |
|
#
?
Feb 2, 2018 22:19
|
|
|
you go to school to learn, not for a fashion show
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2018 01:16
|
|
|
"Is it some new FCC law that every commercial has to have some mixed-race couple in it? Come the gently caress on, they're only like 6% of the population but in every commercial, I swear..." *returns to watching Fox News*
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2018 01:29
|
|
|
Mom: You son of a bitch!
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2018 02:42
|
|
|
"... of course I don't hate blacks you understand. But these innocent white girls are being preyed upon! It's all that Kardashian whore's fault"
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2018 07:57
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 27, 2024 22:47 |
|
|
Dad: I know what would settle you down. A nice piece of pussy.
|
|
#
?
Feb 3, 2018 08:03
|
|
