Greggathread

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josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
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don't forget the seasonal greggs offerings, like the one with a bit of stuffing and cranberry in it, or the one that's a pepperoni pizza in a bake, or the one that's heard of mexico in a book once

# ? Feb 6, 2020 01:34

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# ? May 27, 2024 11:01

Trying: Sep 26, 2019

i once ordered four sausage rolls. this is far too many

# ? Feb 6, 2020 01:48

Maugrim: Feb 16, 2011; I eat your face

Did you eat them all in a sitting?

I've never been into a Greggs but after reading this magnificent OP I reckon I will. I went into Pret once and gently caress those prices.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 02:00

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

One time one of my friends was complaining about people leaving Gregg's wrappers in the bathroom, and I assumed a Gregg is British slang for a tampon. Welp, that's my story.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 02:44

Trying: Sep 26, 2019

Maugrim posted:

Did you eat them all in a sitting?.

i had to save one and 2/3rds for later

# ? Feb 6, 2020 04:16

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

Pret a Manger and Cafe Nero are both shops I've never been enticed to go into

I suppose Pret A killed that girl with the allergies and a friend of mine once claimed Nero sells the smallest coffee he's ever seen so there's reasons I just don't think I'll ever even try them

# ? Feb 6, 2020 06:50

Danger - Octopus!: Apr 20, 2008; Nap Ghost

How is the filling of a steak bake always so hot? Chicken bakes can be anything from nearly cold to quite warm but somehow the inside of a steak bake is always scalding lava.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 08:33

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

JollyBoyJohn posted:

Pret a Manger and Cafe Nero are both shops I've never been enticed to go into

I suppose Pret A killed that girl with the allergies and a friend of mine once claimed Nero sells the smallest coffee he's ever seen so there's reasons I just don't think I'll ever even try them

On vacation in England from the states I had an hour to kill before I needed to meet someone so I went into a caffe Nero in Sheffield and asked for a black coffee because it was a coffee shop. The man behind the counter reacted as though ordering "filter coffee" was the most preposterous thing he had ever heard and suggested I try an Americano because I guess he assumed it was a traditional American drink I would feel comfortable with. It was my first time abroad and I still have no idea if this was a caffe nero thing or an English thing and if the idea of buying a coffee just so you can chill out on the store wi-fi for an hour is just completely alien to the British psyche.

BIG FLUFFY DOG fucked around with this message at 08:50 on Feb 6, 2020

# ? Feb 6, 2020 08:34

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

Yeah you can't really just order "coffee" here for some inane reason.

I've started going to Pret. I love the sausage breakfast bun but £2.75 for a single sausage, brioche bun and small egg is a slap in the face. They could easily whack a second sausage in there.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 08:47

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

i'm sure you could get 4 sausage rolls for �1 when i was in high school and that wouldn't even get you 1 now lol

# ? Feb 6, 2020 09:24

Helith: Nov 5, 2009; Basket of Adorables

gently caress, I'm homesick now for a Gregg's Sausage Roll.
Keep one in the warmer for me lads.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 13:29

Modrasone: Jul 27, 2008; HE WANTS THIS AND SO SHOULD YOU!

guys. imagine if Greggs sold weed

# ? Feb 6, 2020 13:41

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

Modrasone posted:

guys. imagine if Greggs sold weed

My guy lives 2 floors above a greggs bro, I'm already there

# ? Feb 6, 2020 14:06

Modrasone: Jul 27, 2008; HE WANTS THIS AND SO SHOULD YOU!

"two steak bakes and a couple of jigglies pls luv". just imagine

# ? Feb 6, 2020 14:40

FairyNuff: Jan 22, 2012

their vegan steak bake needs more pepper imo

# ? Feb 6, 2020 15:03

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

i feel like spoons needs a thread, where else can you use a phone app to bring you 9 pints of hop house and 70 portions of haloumi fries

# ? Feb 6, 2020 16:52

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

An important note about the "Eat in or take out question?" The main reason you don't eat in is because it literally costs more. This is because Greggs can avoid having to charge Value Added Tax (VAT) on your food as long as

1. You're not sitting down and eating it on the premises
2. You're not selling food that is cooked then intentionally kept warm using a heating device

The second one is why Greggs bakes stuff fresh but the cabinets aren't actually heated, otherwise if they tried to actually keep food hot you'd have to pay VAT. This adds an element of danger to any Greggs visit outside of lunchtime rush hour - until you get your hands on it you've no idea how long your sausage roll has been sat there cooling down. There are few things worse than a tepid, congealed steak bake, I can tell you.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 16:58

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

track day bro! posted:

i feel like spoons needs a thread, where else can you use a phone app to bring you 9 pints of hop house and 70 portions of haloumi fries

And still get change from 20 quid

# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:00

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

JollyBoyJohn posted:

And still get change from 20 quid

i know the owner is a massive brexiting oval office, but the fact that everything is about 9000% cheaper than almost every other pub makes me not care. although i've noticed they've slimmed the european beer selection a bit in some pubs, used to be able to get a bunch of nice belgian beers which have now dissapeared

# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:04

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

track day bro! posted:

the fact that everything is about 9000% cheaper than almost every other pub makes me not care.

It's because they barely pay their staff or suppliers and serve beer well past its best.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:07

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Everything is so cheap because they treat their suppliers and staff like poo poo (Wetherspoons, dunno about Greggs)

e:f,b

# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:08

track day bro!: Feb 17, 2005; #essereFerrari; Grimey Drawer

weren't gregs using people from the jobcentre at one point for free labor

# ? Feb 6, 2020 17:09

LashLightning: Feb 20, 2010; You know you didn't have to go post that, right?
But it's fine, I guess...
You just keep being you!

track day bro! posted:

weren't gregs using people from the jobcentre at one point for free labor

That was Poundland, I think. "Work Experience", required to do if you want to get your dole money if I remember correctly.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 18:10

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

It was called Workfare

A lot of companies used it iirc

# ? Feb 6, 2020 18:39

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

WOW. Had I gone to London a few years later than I did, I might have been caught up in the Greggying of the South. Pretty crazy how nothing can happen for ages, and then suddenly a revolution sweeps across the land.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 19:23

GreaseGunner: Dec 26, 2012; Just chillin'

I'll never forget that summer in Liverpool, out of money, eating a small bowl of pasta a day. If I could somehow scrounge up enough change to get a sausage roll from Greggs it was a good day. What a life.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 19:32

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

GreaseGunner posted:

I'll never forget that summer in Liverpool, out of money, eating a small bowl of pasta a day. If I could somehow scrounge up enough change to get a sausage roll from Greggs it was a good day. What a life.

You could of got two for a pound from pound bakery, and they'd have been better :colbert:

# ? Feb 6, 2020 19:40

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

I think they still have the local Greggs equivalent in my home town (Chatwins). I do remember going out to them whilst my mum and grandma talked about stuff and I got to have a thing to read and a gingerbread man.

Greggs also doesn't do great sausages sandwiches, which always upset me a little. They could really make something out of that!

# ? Feb 6, 2020 19:57

jarlywarly: Aug 31, 2018

Strawman posted:

You could of got two for a pound from pound bakery, and they'd have been better

The Pound Bakery where fiscal inflation means pasty deflation.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 20:23

Strawman: Feb 9, 2008; Tortuga means turtle, and that's me. I take my time but I always win.

jarlywarly posted:

The Pound Bakery where fiscal inflation means pasty deflation.

'Jumbo' versions of things which are about 10% bigger but cost a pound each instead of 2 for a pound. They closed the pound bakery near where I work despite me spending an average of almost a pound a week there for some reason :shrug:

, so its back to Greggs for me anyway.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 20:55

GreaseGunner: Dec 26, 2012; Just chillin'

Strawman posted:

You could of got two for a pound from pound bakery, and they'd have been better

Ah yes. Spend my bits of scrounged change on two nasty dry piss poor excuses for pasties. Even when I'm starving I have standards.

# ? Feb 6, 2020 21:35

Galewolf: Jan 9, 2007; The human gallbladder is indeed a puzzle!

Greggs is the what paying an arm and a leg for a cupboard in South London bearable.

gently caress you West London I'm not walking to Kilburn Park to get that delicious and slightly underbaked but still fresh Chicken&Bacon sandwich.

Paying 5.75 for Gail's chicken sandwich which is actually small vs. 3.50 for that sweet 470 cal carb goodness with a side of 500 ml diet coke to give me reflux? The choice is clear :smuggo:

# ? Feb 7, 2020 03:27

youre: Dec 30, 2019

Modrasone posted:

A HISTORY
British cuisine. A sorry mix of pleasure-hating Protestant ethics, WWII rationing and an island mentality that treated any produce or ideas from abroad with suspicion. Once the American GI's stationed here in WWII took their stories home about British food from its period of heavy rationing, the islands reputation was set. British food sucked insane amounts of donkey cock.

But during this period of culinary emptiness, deep in the heart of industrial England a man had a simple idea. A man named John Gregg was to open a bakery that offered something different, something that suited the needs of a nation experiencing the fast paced life of wartime. A bakery that delivered it's goods by bicycle. This wasn't just food, this was FAST food.

Fast forward to the early 1950's and John Greggs' son Ian looked to bring his own ideas to the brand, to shake off the shackles of war and grasp the zeitgeist of post-war Britain. His great idea was the Store Bakery. Something between a franchise and a chain that could rapidly expand and meet the needs of a population hungry for progress. But there was more to Ian's vision than simple economic expansion.

In 1967 Greggs held their first "'Pie n Peas' Supper Event" in Gateshead, something that was a lot more than a promotional event. It was also a way to give the ageing population of retired industrial workers a place to meet and to socialise. A calendar event to look forward to, something to help build community. As well as being a company looking to expand rapidly and gain a foothold in the lunchtime of every part of the UK, Greggs set itself apart early on as being a company with a strong focus on social responsibility, a company that wasn't just trying to wedge itself into every high street, it was also looking to transform the communities it touched, creating a better, fairer society.

Progress was slow however. The spread of Greggs from the north-east of England was hampered by competition and the logistics of delivering pre-made products to bakeries further out in the country. By 1994 Greggs boasted 500 shops but they were mostly in the North East. Rather than cut corners or lose it's vision of being a community-minded business, Greggs stook to its guns and with time, was rewarded.

As the new millennium brought a faltering economy, many of its competitors fell by the wayside. Greggs seized this opportunity and began opening more new bakeries than ever, all the while matching its success with more charitable initiatives. It's Breakfast Club project helped give thousands of children country-wide a decent breakfast, Hardship funds and Community Project funds were started by what was now The Greggs Foundation, a charitable foundation looking to make a difference at a local level.

Which brings us to where we are to day. Those of you visiting from outside of the UK will surely notice the ubiquity of the humble Greggs bakery not long after you land on our fair isle and walk our city streets. There will be a queue. Some items will be sold out, but fear not a new batch is just browning in their ovens. This is fast food, British style. Uncomplicated, hearty and blessed with a rare social conscience that sets it apart from anything else you will find on a high street.

WHERE TO FIND ONE

They are literally loving everywhere. If you're in a town or city just walk around a bit and look for the familiar blue shopfront, a queue and the enticing smell of buttery pastry. Or alternatively follow anyone dressed in work overalls, they're def going to Greggs.

WHAT TO GET
Now everyone has a different palate, everyone has different needs and the strength of Greggs is it's ability to please all of the people all of the time. From it's main staple, the humble Sausage Roll, to more restrained Salad Boxes, you'll find something there to wolf down on-the-go.

SAUSAGE ROLL

The cornerstone, the foundation, the classic. Moderately spiced pork encased in flaky, buttery pastry that is gone in 4-8 mouthfuls. Unfussy, straightforward, instant satisfaction. Oh and if you're vegan, there's one just for you which is honestly probably the best vegan anything avaliable in the UK to date.

SLICES

Called a "pasty" by some, Greggs tends not to use that term save for its Cornish Pasty out of respect for that particular delicacy. This is the Good poo poo, the main event where all tastes are catered for. From it's staple variations like the bold, no-nonsense Steak Slice to more artisan special-editions like the Katsu Chicken Curry and the seasonal Xmas Slice, there is truly something in there for everyone. Personally I'm a fan of the Chicken Bake, with its silky melt-in-the-mouth protein encased in an insanely brutal umami-rich white sauce, it's whiteness emphasising it's idealogical purity.

SANDWICHES

From Baguettes, to rolls to wraps there's a whole world of choice here that will keep the noble Gregg's completionist busy for quite some time. While the Peri-Peri Chicken and Chipotle Steak Baguette offer a touch of the exotic, as with all things Greggs it's the basics where you will find real gold. For me their Tandoori Chicken Baguette sums up everything that is great about Greggs, nay Britain itself. A melting pot of British, European and Asian sensibilities that transcends its mish-mash of origins. On the other hand I will say the cheese and ham one is a bit rubbery, but gently caress it it'll do in a pinch if I've got a hangover to banish.

SWEET TREATS

Normally you'd associate a bakery with a cascading front window of enticing sweetness, sugar glazes dripping like so much winter snow, sparkling fruits glistening like diamonds on a dreary Autumn morn. Yeah well this is Greggs bitch and we do things savoury here. Well, nearly. Donuts, muffins and brownies are all represented and p deece, and whose child could resist a Novelty Ring Bun, yes this little cupcake comes with a toy that you can wear on your hand. Insane.

OTHER

There's also croissants, pasta salads, pizza slices, soups and more, so like I said you'll find something that will fill that hungry hole in your belly. Also the coffee isn't entirely poo poo.

HOW TO EAT

Ok if you're visiting from abroad you're going to need to know a bit of etiquette before you embark on the first step of your Greggs Quest. Much like as if you received your first bowl of tapas somewhere in Cantabria and said loudly "is this it? it's loving tiny!", there are do's and don'ts. Firstly, this is fast food. As much as you will be stuck in a Great British Queue on entry you'll be expected to either grab what you want from the cabinet or have your order ready when you get to the counter. In the parlance of South London, Don't gently caress About. There's a hungry gaggle of workmen behind you who need to get right back to making the country great again as soon as possible.

Secondly on completing your order you will be asked a question. It is one of those great ceremonial oddities that our country specialises in so very well. From the strange maces and robes of our Parliament to the eccentricity of Cricket we love our odd customs. And you will meet one face to face at the point of sale.

"Eating in or taking out?"

Literally nobody eats in. WTF. It's Greggs. I mean some do, but I don't look at those people, and I don't think anyone else does either, as human. It's like a massive betrayal of everything that holds our divided society together. You don't eat in, you don't stay. You walk. You walk with the rest of us, all of us, down that high street, wind blowing through its stone corridor, pushing you forward as if the weight of Empire itself is at your back, pastry in hand. You bite into your baked goodness, flaky crumbs flying behind you like the confetti of coronation. Yeah the innards are going to get on your fingers, that's part of the experience. That is the lifeblood of the country coating your hands, baptising you into the nations heart. Greggs isn't a cafe or restaurant, it's fast food, British style. You eat it on the go with the gray skies and light drizzle of an English afternoon swirling around you, as you move onwards, forwards, to a better tomorrow.

FURTHER READING
Website (inc menu)
https://www.greggs.co.uk/
Store Locator
https://www.greggs.co.uk/store-locator?lat=51.52276&long=-0.103841999999986
The Greggs Foundation
https://www.greggsfoundation.org.uk/

would have been enjoyable to read if this wasn't just one big dog whistle

# ? Feb 7, 2020 05:42

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

What's it whistling (genuine question)?

# ? Feb 7, 2020 08:20

Modrasone: Jul 27, 2008; HE WANTS THIS AND SO SHOULD YOU!

To me, nothing but a siren song of pastry

# ? Feb 7, 2020 09:16

Galewolf: Jan 9, 2007; The human gallbladder is indeed a puzzle!

Modrasone posted:

To me, nothing but a siren song of pastry

You have to tie me to the sail mast like Odysseus if I smell that sausage roll.

Galewolf fucked around with this message at 09:26 on Feb 7, 2020

# ? Feb 7, 2020 09:24

Rude Dude With Tude: Apr 19, 2007; Your President approves this text.

Can't believe OP neglected to include the Greggs Outlet, magical stores selling yesterday's pastries and broken bits at knockdown prices https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/kzjvax/welcome-to-the-underground-world-of-discount-greggs

# ? Feb 7, 2020 12:43

Galewolf: Jan 9, 2007; The human gallbladder is indeed a puzzle!

Rude Dude With Tude posted:

Can't believe OP neglected to include the Greggs Outlet, magical stores selling yesterday's pastries and broken bits at knockdown prices https://www.vice.com/en_uk/article/kzjvax/welcome-to-the-underground-world-of-discount-greggs

Bolded the most :smith:

part:

�It�s amazing value�if you go to proper Greggs it can be quite pricey, but all the stuff here is exactly the same,�

Being "London poor" kinda warped my threshold for "expensive" which is "I celebrate if I can drop less than a tenner in any shop".

# ? Feb 7, 2020 14:16

Vando: Oct 26, 2007; stoats about

mods rename this the Greggathread

# ? Feb 7, 2020 14:27

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# ? May 27, 2024 11:01

Galewolf: Jan 9, 2007; The human gallbladder is indeed a puzzle!

Also 50 p for yesterdays 4 pack baguettes? Sign me the gently caress in!

# ? Feb 7, 2020 14:27

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