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Internetjack posted:Yeah, not claiming they own Pepsi, but I am speaking from my experience in the years of roughly 1979-1982. When I was 8-11 years old. Sometime in that range, all the mormon neighbor kids were not allowed to drink soda pop drinks. Then overnight, it was all good! Pepsi and Mtn Dew could now be consumed, and I can tell you honestly that it was. Households never had it, and then the next day kids and moms had it in their shopping carts. I am not claiming that Mormons "bought Pepsi" but the word on the street, the explanation for all of us non-mormons was that the church had invested in it. I kid you not when I say I saw many mormon kid neighbors enjoying a soda for the first time, literally overnight. They may have indeed invested in it. Probably Coca Cola too. IIRC, mormons are taught from a young age to be smart with money. If you want to see mormons melt down a bit, talk to them about their code of health. It's called "The Word of Wisdom." It's mostly guidelines instead of hard rules, which, in general, is hard for any religious person to process.
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Jul 24, 2020 03:47
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One of my mormon cousins liked to mix sprite and milk. That's fuckin' gross.
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Jul 24, 2020 03:47
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Internetjack posted:It was like "hey mom! Jeff and Gavin and Angela and Todd and Trevor can all drink soda pop now!" Holy gently caress this is perfectly dystopian
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Jul 24, 2020 03:47
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Internetjack posted:It was like "hey mom! Jeff and Gavin and Angela and Todd and Trevor can all drink soda pop now!" This is my favorite Utah factoid people never believe. Also in regards to black people having souls BYU kept getting it's rear end handed to them in Football and Basketball as well so the sports programs were also losing money so they needed to justify recruiting non white players.
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Jul 24, 2020 03:48
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Fartington Butts posted:One of my mormon cousins liked to mix sprite and milk. Pretty sure the acid in soda curdles the milk. He must've liked diarrhea or something. People do weird poo poo to stimulate their erogenous zones when they're not allowed to masturbate.
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Jul 24, 2020 03:48
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:Also I hear you get stoned if you have premarital sex or touch your partner under their clothing. uh, sorry to not be talking about utah but, did your face always looks like that Cough Drop The Beat?
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Jul 24, 2020 03:50
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Internetjack posted:It was like "hey mom! Nephi and Brigham and Lucy Mack and Alma and Helaman can all drink soda pop now!" Fixed for you.
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Jul 24, 2020 03:53
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tango alpha delta posted:Fixed for you. All those names I listed were actual neighborhood kids. Three families I mentioned there; but I get what you are saying. I hate to derail the thread into mormonism, Utah has a lot to offer beyond that, but the mormon thing does dominate most discussions of the state. Really though, it is some beautiful country, no matter who occupies it. High deserts matched to mountain ranges are cool as all get out.
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Jul 24, 2020 04:02
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Internetjack posted:All those names I listed were actual neighborhood kids. Three families I mentioned there; but I get what you are saying. Zion National Park is amazing.
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Jul 24, 2020 04:06
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when times are tough, mormons will breed like rabbits to ensure the survival of the pack
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Jul 24, 2020 04:08
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Honestly we need more people to also move here so every other person isn't named some variation of Jayden.
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Jul 24, 2020 04:09
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Fleeing to high ground
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Jul 24, 2020 04:12
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tango alpha delta posted:Zion National Park is amazing. Lake Powell, south end of the state... holy poo poo. My family and another rented a houseboat for a week, plus they had a ski boat we towed along. Steep sandstone cliffs, cool clear deep waters, indian cliff ruins you could hike to and explore. Years later we actually re-created the trip a few days after 9/11. It'd been on the books for months and we weren't about to pass up our chance. Bullfrog.
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Jul 24, 2020 04:19
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Derpies posted:Honestly we need more people to also move here so every other person isn't named some variation of Jayden.  
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Jul 24, 2020 04:49
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utah grows. soon all will be utah.
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Jul 24, 2020 05:21
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Utah is a great place to live. Very friendly people assuming you're white and also mormon.
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Jul 24, 2020 06:24
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tango alpha delta posted:Zion National Park is amazing. I won 40 bucks getting my flat lander friends that even being terrified of heights I would drag their rear end up to Zions landing, and they are 100 percent in some Japanese tourists photo roll puking on the side of the trail while I pointed and laughed at them.
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Jul 24, 2020 06:46
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This curse of Utah now also affects gentiles. I blame the water.
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Jul 24, 2020 06:48
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Utah owns. A lot of people from California are moving there and ruining it. I moved to California and hate it and hope I am ruining it.  Seriously I had no idea tap water could suck so bad. SLC's tap water is the best I've ever had.
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Jul 24, 2020 07:26
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Pitcher Witcher posted:Utah owns. A lot of people from California are moving there and ruining it. I moved to California and hate it and hope I am ruining it. Move back plz so we can get better liquor laws
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Jul 24, 2020 07:36
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Derpies posted:This is my favorite Utah factoid people never believe. Also in regards to black people having souls BYU kept getting it's rear end handed to them in Football and Basketball as well so the sports programs were also losing money so they needed to justify recruiting non white players. Brandon Davies got kicked off the basketball team because he had sex lmao espn posted:Brandon Davies was dismissed from BYU's basketball team after he admitted to having sexual relations in violation of the school's honor code, the Salt Lake Tribune reported Wednesday.
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Jul 24, 2020 14:12
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Stevie Lee posted:Brandon Davies got kicked off the basketball team because he had sex lmao It owns how a big chunk of America, Land of the Free, is run by the Christian Taliban
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Jul 24, 2020 14:47
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Please move to Utah and complain about our alcohol laws. I want to buy wine and liquor at the gas station damnit. Also I guess we have nice national and state parks..
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Jul 24, 2020 16:16
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I used to walk my dog on the grounds of the mormon church across the street and smoke cigarettes.
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Jul 24, 2020 16:44
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Very telling that the only thing goons living in Utah care about is booze.
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Jul 24, 2020 16:46
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i saw Utah for the first time a few years back. Came through Arizona right on the corner, visited Bryce Canyon and hung around for a couple days, and then we took this back road-ish highway going NE to leave the state, was the most amazing drive totally understand why the morms called dibs
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Jul 24, 2020 16:46
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Forgot to mention that there are tunnels underneath Salt Lake City connecting every major building to the mormon temple.
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Jul 24, 2020 16:46
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Don't forget we have our dooms day vaults built on the side of a mountain like they have for those seeds or norad but for genealogically records instead.
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Jul 24, 2020 16:48
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Edgar posted:Don't forget we have our dooms day vaults built on the side of a mountain like they have for those seeds or norad but for genealogically records instead. Those holocaust victims aren't going to baptize themselves!
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Jul 24, 2020 16:50
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Pitcher Witcher posted:Utah owns. I moved away from SLC two years ago and I don't have the language to express how much I miss it. I would like to go back ...really, really, ...like, a lot
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Jul 24, 2020 16:53
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promising carl posted:Forgot to mention that there are tunnels underneath Salt Lake City connecting every major building to the mormon temple. There are a few tunnel systems underneath SLC, there's that one with the carpeted floors and motion detectors and some others that are way cooler if you find a way to sneak in 
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Jul 24, 2020 16:57
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LabyaMynora posted:Also, that special underwear is to prevent them from masturbating in their sleep... like they're so sexually repressed that left to their own devices, they'd sleep masturbate and that's so unacceptable that they need straight jackets for their junk. Holy poo poo for real? No wonder every Mormon I know is weird about porn in the 21st century.
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Jul 24, 2020 17:06
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Mormons got all hot and bothered looking at bubble porn so they rush into marriage and get knocked up.
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Jul 24, 2020 17:09
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Heh, the magic underwear I used to wear was pretty much white boxer briefs and a white t-shirt with mason symbols stitched into them. Don't forget Utah goons, it's July 24, so it is officially Pie and Beer day.
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Jul 24, 2020 17:11
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Utah is beautiful and a good place to live. Been living in extreme southern Utah since 2005. Only advice I have is get a good 4x4 so you can get away from people who universally suck rear end regardless of what stupid religion they are. Here's a comet/aforementioned 4x4 picture I took a few days ago as evidence that I am a real utah poster. The night skies here are the best.  E: oh right happy pioneer day bitches. Might be able to find a hill to get comet/fireworks in the distance tonight. We can pour one out for all the idiot chuds giving themselves the rona under the fireworks. old beast lunatic fucked around with this message at 17:53 on Jul 24, 2020 |
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Jul 24, 2020 17:19
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Brigham Young was a loving piece of poo poo and anyone who went to BYU you can just automatically assume they're a loving rear end in a top hat too
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Jul 24, 2020 17:24
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utah growing because Mormons do a good, big, gently caress
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Jul 24, 2020 17:27
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Doctor Dogballs posted:utah growing because Mormons do a good, big, gently caress I've yet to find a Mormon that wasn't a two pump chump
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Jul 24, 2020 17:31
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dk2m posted:a lot of tech firms are springing up there now as well since denver is becoming increasingly more expensive to set up shop in a recruit from the sticks I have a feeling that “tech firms” and the like will increasingly relocate to less expensive places, bringing higher incomes, driving up the cost of living, and then move on until the entire country costs as much as SF, NYC etc
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Jul 24, 2020 17:37
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Ok guys, I called Tim Utah, the President of Utah and explained the whole alcohol thing. Big misunderstanding, apparently. He had no idea. Anyway, all set, glad to help.
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Jul 24, 2020 17:56
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