This place is far too intimidating.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > This place is far too intimidating.

Isometric Bacon: Jul 24, 2004; Let's get naked!

I thought this place was intimidating at first 20 or so years ago too, and didn't post much for the same reason.

But eventually I realised no one cares about my opinions on Star Wars but boy howdy am I going to share them with you all.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:35

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 12:17

Icept: Jul 11, 2001

the gently caress you think this is, smile and act nice?

_{_{is that place still a thing}}

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:36

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

HOMO ERECTUS posted:

got op an av and gangtag, ur one of us now kid. Keep it up bucko and someday youll be running around threads makin fart jokes with the best of us

Thank you so much! I really didn't care if my av said something like "I SMOKE COCK", at least something would be there, ya know?
I do have a bit of bad news for you, though.... see the quote and reply below...

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

If you look through any of the threads where goons post pictures of themselves it will cure you of any intimidation hth!

Okay... after your three posts in here, reading all they've said and judging from the personality and humor type you seem to have...
....YOU are now my favorite poster.

...dropping HOMO ERECTUS into "second place favorite poster". Sorry, HOMO, you're still great, though. Second favorite poster of all time is nothing to fart at.

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

Post, and then when you make a bad post somebody will yell at you. At that point you dig in your loving heels and you refuse to give a millimeter. Draw them into an argument and use every dirty trick in the book to frustrate and confuse them. Just remember they'll be trying to do the same thing to you. Hit them hard and fast with multiple posts and make it clear to them and any onlooker that you don't actually care, you're just enjoying watching them get mad.

That sounds like a good way to get banned, actually.

boo boo bear posted:

you are a friend to all posters and forums. all posters and forums are a friend to you.

become a posting titan.

That eases my mind like no other.

I just realized my 2004 date below my name is the oldest account in this topic, so far. Ya'll are actually the newbies compared to me. Maybe I should be whipping all of you.
Just kidding. Don't hurt me.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:38

Wordicuffs: Jun 14, 2011

Covid has made me regret a lot of the things I said in the past about people who wear PJs all the time. Turns out they were the smart ones

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:38

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

SAN posted:

I'm a hermit, shut in, with severe agoraphobia, so I rarely go outside. I rarely leave my room, actually.

SAN posted:

Fartington Butts posted:
Just order some taco bell and go to the fast food subforum to talk about it.

Well poo poo, I do the first part of that step drat near every day already. That sounds easy.

Hold it!

I've caught you in a contradiction, OP. You said you rarely go outside, and now you say you go to Taco Bell drat near every day. Do you live in a Taco Bell, OP? Are you a millionaire ordering doordash Taco Bell every day? Don't be ridiculous.

Your worst fear is coming true. Prepare to be traumatized by this public shaming. You'll have no choice now but to slink away for another 16 years. But I'll be waiting. Mark my words. I'll see you again in 2037.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:38

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:38

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

SAN posted:

I know the rules.... I was told to ask myself "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?".

Teach me the goon ways. Tell me the goon secrets.

if you are even bothering to take a second to consider this question then your participation will improve the community

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:42

The Grimace: Sep 18, 2005; Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

SAN posted:

The internet is all I have. I lead a very pathetic, sad life. I have no real life friends... I'm a hermit, shut in, with severe agoraphobia, so I rarely go outside. I rarely leave my room, actually. So... yeah, most of my "friends" are online.

hello fellow agoraphobic buddy!!!I

SA is actually very chill if you're not an outright dick to people. You're doing just fine. My posts are rarely witty and yet I do just fine pretty much!

Right? ... Right?
oh god I live for vindication, help

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:44

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

HOMO ERECTUS posted:

got op an av and gangtag, ur one of us now kid. Keep it up bucko and someday youll be running around threads makin fart jokes with the best of us

you are a gentleman and a scholar

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:47

Schweinhund: Oct 23, 2004

SAN posted:

I've been a member here for about 16 years now. My last post was five years ago.
I rarely post, however.... I try to follow the old adage of LURK MOAR. I prefer to remain in the darkness, behind the curtain,... like some creepy, pervy voyeur...watching all that goes on here but rarely participating.

The reason for this is simple, though... I fear having my rear end completely handed to me. You all are an extremely frightening bunch. You're masters of insults, kings of laying waste to someone's topics, professionals in newbie bashing.... it's all quite traumatic.
So I stay away. Even though I know a lot of the history, and I know the types of personalities here, and yes, even though I am protected with stairs in my house (is that even still a thing?), I know the rules.... I was told to ask myself "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?". I figured, well, yes...perhaps this may be interesting to a few, but a lot of you all appear to be harsh judges.....I fear for my sensitive, emotional feelings. That if I make ANY new post or topic, extreme hellfire will rain down on me in the form of words and becoming the forum's plaything at least until the mods decide it's been played with as a toy enough to finally be put out of its misery and move it to the Toxic Waste Dump. In fact, this is probably where you're reading this thread right now.

How can I change? How can I become a member of that inner group? How can I be accepted? What does it take to become a goon and admired, accepted, and maybe even LIKED among other fellow goons? I mean, I've read the rules... I've lurked tons (16 years)..... I've only made 18 posts (now 19 with this topic) in that time..... If anyone is a lurker, it's me, trust me.
And yet, I still have no idea how to be a goon or what it takes to become one. Teach me! I'm a willing student. I want to become one. I'm willing to go through any initiation you might have. You want I should be a pledge, of sorts?

Teach me the goon ways. Tell me the goon secrets.

Does anything involve a live chicken?

There's 2 steps to being a respected goon

a) kiss lots of rear end

b) never become a mod

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:48

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

Sorry if these quotes are out of order. The multi quote feature puts them that way and I'm too much of a LAZY gently caress to do anything about it.

Icept posted:

the gently caress you think this is, smile and act nice?

_{_{is that place still a thing}}

HOLY poo poo...someone with an earlier registry date than I. I BOW to you. Whatever you say, I'll do.

Isometric Bacon posted:

I thought this place was intimidating at first 20 or so years ago too, and didn't post much for the same reason.

But eventually I realised no one cares about my opinions on Star Wars but boy howdy am I going to share them with you all.

That's comforting advice. Plus I just realized this thread just reached page 2 (well, at least on the settings I have it on)...so....yay for me, I guess?

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I haven't worn pants since covid became a thing

I haven't worn pants... uh.. what year is it again? Probably since about 2001. I never leave the house.

veni veni veni posted:

Like 95% of posts on SA don't fit this criteria in fact most posts are poo poo.

That gives me a bit of hope. If there's anything I'm good at, it's shitposting.

Ventral EggSac posted:

I am strong and powerful, but this means my muscly fingers are too thick for my keoboard so I make typos. Please op find me a keyboard for my chodefingers

It's okay, I still love you for it.

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

If you look through any of the threads where goons post pictures of themselves it will cure you of any intimidation hth!

This has to be the funniest, best post in this thread so far. You, sir, are a GOD among Goons.....and that's why you're my new favorite poster.

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER posted:

for real though there is no such as thing as what you appear to imagine and desire. if you perceive some kind of secret cabal or hive mind this is a probably because you lack social skills or something. the only thing goons truly have in common is that they paid to register on the forums. you will not find someone strong and powerful who will make you his bitch. this is just a place for posting, if you didn't come to post, why did you come here

I want to believe you, I really do. Stay close beside me just for a little while? In case I need your help?

Ahem.
gently caress YOU ALL, gently caress YOUR ASSES god drat stupid poo poo. ban these assholes, stupid fucktards....close thread.

Am I doing it right? Am I close with all that? HOMO ERECTUS did I do good? I didn't piddle and wee all over the floor, did I?

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:49

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

OP I suggest developing a unique gimmick and posting about it constantly regardless of thread topic.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:49

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

Bad Purchase posted:

Hold it!

I've caught you in a contradiction, OP. You said you rarely go outside, and now you say you go to Taco Bell drat near every day. Do you live in a Taco Bell, OP? Are you a millionaire ordering doordash Taco Bell every day? Don't be ridiculous.

Your worst fear is coming true. Prepare to be traumatized by this public shaming. You'll have no choice now but to slink away for another 16 years. But I'll be waiting. Mark my words. I'll see you again in 2037.

You are VERY CLOSE to becoming my new favorite poster... JUST FOR THE PHOENIX WRIGHT REFERENCE ALONE. I loving love that game and, in fact, am playing through it for the first time RIGHT NOW (I'm on the "Trials and Tribulations" one of the trilogy). How the gently caress did you know???

Anyway *slams both hands onto desk*
TAKE THAT
You can order Taco Bell online, without leaving the house. *taps hand on a piece of paper* and yes... I do happen to have a lot of extra money around, you might say....

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:52

GABA ghoul: Oct 29, 2011

hey op, are you by any chance from germany? have you ever been involved in neuroscience?

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:54

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

SAN posted:

Anyway *slams both hands onto desk*
TAKE THAT
You can order Taco Bell online, without leaving the house. *taps hand on a piece of paper* and yes... I do happen to have a lot of extra money around, you might say....

edit: changed to a trials and tribulations appropriate reaction

Bad Purchase fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Mar 26, 2021

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:54

Methanar: Sep 26, 2013; by the sex ghost

SAN posted:

You are VERY CLOSE to becoming my new favorite poster... JUST FOR THE PHOENIX WRIGHT REFERENCE ALONE. I loving love that game and, in fact, am playing through it for the first time RIGHT NOW (I'm on the "Trials and Tribulations" one of the trilogy). How the gently caress did you know???

start your parachute accounts now. Remember to use a different payment method with a different name and set up a socks proxy and this extension https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/socks-proxy/odiakldnmmpjabkemfboijigageaelcn?hl=en for both creation and use of your parachutes.

if you exercise proper opsec and don't ever associate a session between the two accounts the mods can't tell

I recommend using firefox for your parachute with the socks proxy always on to make sure you don't make any mistakes. This has the added benefit of keeping cookies isolated in case that's something else that gets checked. You can keep using chrome for your 'main' posting

Methanar fucked around with this message at 20:59 on Mar 26, 2021

# ? Mar 26, 2021 20:55

SidneyIsTheKiller: Jul 16, 2019; I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

SAN posted:

Okay... after your three posts in here, reading all they've said and judging from the personality and humor type you seem to have...
....YOU are now my favorite poster.

SAN posted:

This has to be the funniest, best post in this thread so far. You, sir, are a GOD among Goons.....and that's why you're my new favorite poster.

Holy poo poo this is me right now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl_NpdAy3WY

SAN posted:

...dropping HOMO ERECTUS into "second place favorite poster". Sorry, HOMO, you're still great, though. Second favorite poster of all time is nothing to fart at.

Yes, second place is very respectable, HOMO ERECTUS!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:04

a starchy tuber: Sep 9, 2002; hi yes I'm very normal

Methanar posted:

start your parachute accounts now. Remember to use a different payment method with a different name and set up a socks proxy and this extension https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/socks-proxy/odiakldnmmpjabkemfboijigageaelcn?hl=en for both creation and use of your parachutes.

if you exercise proper opsec and don't ever associate a session between the two accounts the mods can't tell

I recommend using firefox for your parachute with the socks proxy always on to make sure you don't make any mistakes. This has the added benefit of keeping cookies isolated in case that's something else that gets checked. You can keep using chrome for your 'main' posting

Firefox containers and a VPN

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:04

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

Bad Purchase posted:

edit: changed to a trials and tribulations appropriate reaction

You are my new favorite poster...

SidneyIsTheKiller is now my second favorite...and HOMO ERECTUS is now my third favorite.
In the effort of "kissing rear end", should I say that HugeGrossBurrito is my fourth favorite?

GABA ghoul posted:

hey op, are you by any chance from germany? have you ever been involved in neuroscience?

No and No, however I do have an interest in neuroscience... does that count?

The Grimace posted:

hello fellow agoraphobic buddy!!!I

SA is actually very chill if you're not an outright dick to people. You're doing just fine. My posts are rarely witty and yet I do just fine pretty much!

Right? ... Right?
oh god I live for vindication, help

Glad to see I'm not the only one. Thanks for the advice, too.

Mozi posted:

if you are even bothering to take a second to consider this question then your participation will improve the community

Yes sir,..because telling everyone about their small wee wee is the epitome of intelligent posts.

Meme Poker Party posted:

OP I suggest developing a unique gimmick and posting about it constantly regardless of thread topic.

I'm not falling for your trickery. You're just trying to get me banned, aren't you? I see through your SHENATIGANS.. .well, sir.. you are now
MY LEAST FAVORITE POSTER. Currently. So there.

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

you are a gentleman and a scholar

Huh, an actual moderator. Well, if he's (or she? but I assume a "he") agreeing with someone who is telling me I'm part of the gang already, that must be a good thing.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:11

RepeatingMeme: Dec 27, 2012; this place is not a place of honor

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here

nothing valued is here

what is here was dangerous and repulsive to us

this place is best shunned and left uninhabited

SAN posted:

Am I doing it right? Am I close with all that? HOMO ERECTUS did I do good? I didn't piddle and wee all over the floor, did I?

Sigh i guess some people take longer to learn than the rest of us...

look op, shidding yourself is the absolute dream post in gbs, the fact that you DIDNT piddle yourself and post about it shows you have a long way to go before you can roll with the big dawgs. Mods please give op a 6er so they wont make this mistake again, no this has nothing to do with dropping down to 2nd place and me being bitter about it please stop asking

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Yes, second place is very respectable, HOMO ERECTUS!

eat my shorts sidney you dirty thief!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:11

SidneyIsTheKiller: Jul 16, 2019; I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter
in my grandmother's journal.

She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences...

SAN posted:

SidneyIsTheKiller is now my second favorite...and HOMO ERECTUS is now my third favorite.
In the effort of "kissing rear end", should I say that HugeGrossBurrito is my fourth favorite?

Ok you're just being a slut now, SAN! I like that

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:17

Brother Tadger: Feb 15, 2012; I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

More like Something SAN-sitive, amirite?

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:20

blight rhino: Feb 11, 2014; EXQUISITE ~~LURKER~~ RHINO; Nap Ghost

SAN posted:

Oh, there is multi quote here, I just didn't see it....

Picture me coming closer in your mind, for I would do it providing I had the actual means.... yes.... yessss.... whisper them in my ear, GABA ghoul

Do people.......do that? Posters do that regularly? I wouldn't have ever thought of doing that had you not mentioned it right now.... is the post/day ratio a coveted thing here or something?

wait, wtf there is a multi quote here? wtf.

Also, yeah. Just post. Look at this cool AV I got from the Lurker thread way back.

and then I got drunk and spent like 200 on AVs for people

5 stars, would recommend

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:21

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

blight rhino posted:

wait, wtf there is a multi quote here? wtf.

Yep, you hit "quote" and get taken to the reply box.. then you scroll down (into the replies that are previewed in reverse order) and on EACH of them is a "add quote" button. Press it and it automatically puts it into your reply.
As for the rest of your advice, thank ya.. I certainly do have money to waste, so what better place than this (provided I'm not banned in the next 24 hours).

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:23

boo boo bear: Oct 1, 2009; I'm COMPLETELY OBSESSED with SEXY EGGS

quoting your posting enemies shows weakness, never show weakness.

also, everyone is your posting enemy.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:24

Inzombiac: Mar 19, 2007; PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY

OP, new SA isn't intimidating. We are old, tired and loving.

So suck my dick, fuckman.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:26

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

SAN posted:

I'm not falling for your trickery. You're just trying to get me banned, aren't you? I see through your SHENATIGANS.. .well, sir.. you are now
MY LEAST FAVORITE POSTER. Currently. So there.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:32

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

I'm a very chill poster actually. Its a bold stylistic choice but I'm sticking with it

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:33

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

Also regdates are meaningless when most have re-regged at least once

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:35

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

Revins posted:

I'm a very chill poster actually. Its a bold stylistic choice but I'm sticking with it

I tend to be, too...although people usually think I'm trolling because I write like I do (very eloquently), but I'm a writer, so I tend to be wordy and use words that people don't normally use, thus I come off as sounding weird.

1redflag posted:

More like Something SAN-sitive, amirite?

Ha! I love it.

SidneyIsTheKiller posted:

Ok you're just being a slut now, SAN! I like that

It's what I do best.

To boo boo bear, sorry.... I'm too used to using multi-quote, though. I mean, if they didn't want you to use it, why put that feature in, you know? It beats padding your own thread with your own replies like a big agoraphobic loser......

Oh, wait.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:42

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

SAN posted:

I've been a member here for about 16 years now. My last post was five years ago.
I rarely post, however.... I try to follow the old adage of LURK MOAR. I prefer to remain in the darkness, behind the curtain,... like some creepy, pervy voyeur...watching all that goes on here but rarely participating.

The reason for this is simple, though... I fear having my rear end completely handed to me. You all are an extremely frightening bunch. You're masters of insults, kings of laying waste to someone's topics, professionals in newbie bashing.... it's all quite traumatic.
So I stay away. Even though I know a lot of the history, and I know the types of personalities here, and yes, even though I am protected with stairs in my house (is that even still a thing?), I know the rules.... I was told to ask myself "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?". I figured, well, yes...perhaps this may be interesting to a few, but a lot of you all appear to be harsh judges.....I fear for my sensitive, emotional feelings. That if I make ANY new post or topic, extreme hellfire will rain down on me in the form of words and becoming the forum's plaything at least until the mods decide it's been played with as a toy enough to finally be put out of its misery and move it to the Toxic Waste Dump. In fact, this is probably where you're reading this thread right now.

How can I change? How can I become a member of that inner group? How can I be accepted? What does it take to become a goon and admired, accepted, and maybe even LIKED among other fellow goons? I mean, I've read the rules... I've lurked tons (16 years)..... I've only made 18 posts (now 19 with this topic) in that time..... If anyone is a lurker, it's me, trust me.
And yet, I still have no idea how to be a goon or what it takes to become one. Teach me! I'm a willing student. I want to become one. I'm willing to go through any initiation you might have. You want I should be a pledge, of sorts?

Teach me the goon ways. Tell me the goon secrets.

Does anything involve a live chicken?

Tl dr

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:44

pnumoman: Sep 26, 2008; I never get the last word, and it makes me very sad.

Is the hazing over? Did I miss it?

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:49

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

If you post your dinner in the lunch thread I'll be very upset. < :mad:

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:51

SAN: Jan 23, 2004; Unknownone bought me this account as I am a cheap bastard.

I fear having my ass completely handed to me.

pnumoman posted:

Is the hazing over? Did I miss it?

No. I'm still here to take any and all abuse, so feel free to unleash the beast. Either one.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:51

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

op will never be a true poster because he doesn't have the poster mindset. you prey on others with no regard for who is trying to prey on you :justpost:

and let god sort em out

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:54

Saalkin: Jun 29, 2008

Post harder, faster, stronger, better.

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:56

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

op is a freakin nerd

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:57

Grumblepuff: Dec 29, 2018; You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right

I was like you, kid. Then I glombed onto the Trump thread. Started with quoting and making quick replies. Moved up to being assistant VP of the 1,000 page thread.

Look at this horrible thing I made:

It's terrible! But if one person guffaws at it, it was worth the 53 hours of work to make it!

So advice #1: Make good use of your time! Like me!

Advice #2: When Meme Poker Party starts posting anime stuff, you may wanna right click-save as, because some of that stuff really "rolls my coal" if you know what I mean *suggestive grin*

it gets me excited and I cough up black tar

Advice #3: Camber your legs for maximum posting traction. So you should be posting like this:

Good luck!

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:58

Chief McHeath: Apr 23, 2002

i mean really, what a weasely dweeb lmao go fuckin crunch on some croutons idiot

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 11, 2024 12:17

Nefarious 2.0: Apr 22, 2008; Offense is overrated anyway.

Chief McHeath posted:

i mean really, what a weasely dweeb lmao go fuckin crunch on some croutons idiot

get his rear end

# ? Mar 26, 2021 21:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > This place is far too intimidating.

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