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Detective Matthews, I want to play a game. You are charged with protecting the citizens of this city and instead you've become a drunk and enjoyed... what.. your name is Jorge?... **frantically checking little scribbled notes**... I don't even have a Jorge here... Have you ever interacted negatively with a person named John Kramer? Like been a dick to him or something?... No... Oh no reason, just forget that name... Say, you're gonna find there's a key in a very unusual place the next time you get an x-ray. Just FYI.
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Aug 28, 2021 07:43
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In this room is a dick sucking trolley robot. You must... oh you already put your dick in it.
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Aug 28, 2021 15:50
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Hello Sarah... you've spent your life selling Tummy Teas and creating an unrealistic expectation of beauty... you have one hour to confess your insecurities to the world or else... *woman starts speaking and sobbing* (poo poo... poo poo this is heavy stuff... I, I don't think I'm the person to handle this... oh god) *door pops open* So... uh, we're cool now. Thanks. Enjoy the weekend. Live, Laugh, Love, right?
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Aug 28, 2021 16:08
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Do you want to play a game? The game is Quake 2 deathmatch
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Aug 28, 2021 16:12
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Not once in your life have you done a selfless thing, not one act of... no you haven't, I checked. What? *googles Maimonides* Oh neat, I never new about that. Well I guess I'd better let you g-THINK FAST WHAT CHARITY ah, yes, they're good people. Look I'm going to need some... OK so your pin is... huh. Third of every month. Wow that's... that's quite a lot actually. Me? Well if you think about it this is kind of a... no you're right. Yes even as I was saying it. Yeah just go. ... smug little holier than thou prick
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Aug 28, 2021 16:24
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Hello, would you like to cook a meal? I have injected you with a powerful delayed neurotoxin. I will administer the antidote if you bring me tendies
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Aug 28, 2021 16:48
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*Marble falls off racetrack just before hitting flag in elaborate Rube-Goldberg device.* "poo poo. Time out."
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Aug 28, 2021 18:40
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*Desperately hopes victim won't notice they're trapped in a coffin full of rubber spiders instead of real ones because I couldn't get the permits to ship 5000 tarantulas to my home*
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Aug 28, 2021 18:42
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*Is arrested by the ATF because my Amazon purchase history was flagged for all the fertilizer I was buying to make ironic bomb*
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Aug 28, 2021 18:44
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Applewhite posted:*Desperately hopes victim won't notice they're trapped in a coffin full of rubber spiders instead of real ones because I couldn't get the permits to ship 5000 tarantulas to my home* I am pretty sure trantaluas are from Florida. I mean, everything else that sucks comes from there. Just kidding Tarantulas. I love spiders
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Aug 28, 2021 19:03
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"The high-tension springs I needed for the nail-launching catapult got delayed, and my scrapyard guy was sick this week, so this part of the trap isn't really done, okay? You know how things have been with the pandemic around. Just...I dunno, roll around in the glass pit for a bit and don't try anything funny with the screen door across the room; I hadn't gotten around to replacing it yet.
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Aug 28, 2021 19:08
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I've infected you with a deadly virus. All you must do to survive is not easy horse paste
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Aug 28, 2021 19:44
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*Creepy Jigsaw voice* Hello, OP, I would like to play a gay.....m... wait poo poo I hosed that up, forgot you heard that.
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Aug 28, 2021 19:48
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ikanreed posted:I've infected you with a deadly virus. All you must do to survive is not easy horse paste YOU SON OF A BITCH!
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Aug 28, 2021 19:55
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Look I'm gonna give it to ya straight here man, I stopped at subway on the way over here and I don't think they're changing their gloves and stuff. Goddamn, feels like I'm gonna poo poo my brain out over here. I got a couple extra subs to eat while I watch you but *extreme toilet sounds* ah jeez *pooping* aghhhhhhhh
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Aug 28, 2021 21:21
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Hey there. I want to play a game. The game is Super Smash Brothers. I'm not going to harm you, I am just going to keep you here and play Super Smash Brothers with you. You can be my Smash Bro forever. I even got extra controllers for when I get more people in here to play with us. It's gonna be great! Oh come on, you know I can see you right? There's no way that's gonna support your whole body with a controller cable. Well gently caress now you've gone and ruined the ceiling fan.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:28
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pop all the balloons. your time starts when you pop the first balloon and ends when you pop the last. fastest time wins. it's an old taskmaster script but i'll stab the loser i guess?
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Aug 28, 2021 21:28
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signalnoise posted:Hey there. I want to play a game. The game is Super Smash Brothers. I'm not going to harm you, I am just going to keep you here and play Super Smash Brothers with you. You can be my Smash Bro forever. I even got extra controllers for when I get more people in here to play with us. It's gonna be great! Oh come on, you know I can see you right? There's no way that's gonna support your whole body with a controller cable. Well gently caress now you've gone and ruined the ceiling fan. sorry. I got excited.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:33
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Hello, Jim. You will now palm slam a VHS into this slot. Its Chronicles of Riddick and right then and there you will start doing the moves along side with the main character, Riddick. You will do every move and every move hard. Making whooshing sounds and when you slam down some Necro bastards or even when you mess up some technique. Not many say then can escaped the galaxy's most dangerous prison. You can. You can say it and say it out loud to everyday to people all in your college class and all they do is prove people in college class can still be immature jerks. You may begin.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:33
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Bonzo posted:Hello, Jim.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:36
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Would you like to play a game? Gambler, eh? Guess you would. Here, how bout 52 pickup.
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Aug 28, 2021 21:45
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RavenousScoot posted:Would you like to play a game? Gambler, eh? Guess you would. Here, how bout 52 pickup. I'm not picking these up.
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Aug 29, 2021 02:20
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"Hurry up and finish the puzzle already I only have this hotel conference room reserved until six PM."
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Aug 29, 2021 02:23
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Applewhite posted:"Hurry up and finish the puzzle already I only have this hotel conference room reserved until six PM." why would the puppet have to go to a hotel conference room?
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Aug 29, 2021 02:24
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 Welp chief says 5 missing people in one day again. Time to go check all the abandoned slums and warehouses again.
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Aug 29, 2021 02:29
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ikanreed posted:
you joke, but, this is probably good practice
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Aug 29, 2021 02:34
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Ugh, it took me two weeks to plan this trap and the dumb fucker set it off in before I could even finish explaining the setup. Now I have to clean this up. Fuuuuuuck me...
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Aug 29, 2021 02:52
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Steve, this might just be the day that you learn to value your own gumption. Unless you have a particular affinity for collecting redemptive acts. To assemble this collection of...uh collector stuff... Goddamnit I just want to be the collector he's so...you know, visceral and engaged. Sure I have the traps and the speeches and the whole thing, but he seems like he's having so much fun.
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Aug 29, 2021 03:05
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*Hits record* "You are hale. Healthy. In reasonably good shape. Yet you have spent all of your free time during the last five years of your life writing and editing wiki articles. Do you write about history? Do you write about science? Do you write about the lives and times of the influential and world-changing? NO. You write about Sonic the Hedgehog. You write about The Snyderverse. You used to write about Fallout: Equestria, and though you tried to erase the past, though you try to pretend that wasn't you, you can never escape it. I do not think you truly value what you have been given. So-" *Pauses recording* So... what? So loving WHAT? What can I possibly do to this person that would make any difference?
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Aug 29, 2021 03:14
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Splicer posted:Yes Jack, your addiction to meth has ruined... yes you are. Yes you have. Look it says so right... poo poo. gently caress. OK. Sorry. OK *noise of shuffling papers* your addiction to... christ, arson? Seriously? Your addiction to arson is symbolised by the diamonds because they uh... they used to be coal. Which is flammable. So you need to eat the ex-coal to get the scorched spoon... yes, scorched by fire, to open your cuffs or else the machine will turn on and shake you until all your bones break. Because friction causes fires, that's why. *creaking, groaning* "as someone who greased the wheels of child trafficking can you slow-" *the floor in a derelict building gives way, toppling a meticulously crafted torture contraption onto the victim* "... can you bear the weight of your sin?"
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Aug 29, 2021 03:29
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jigsaw learned how to make his traps by watching martha stewart
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Aug 29, 2021 04:02
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traps.... torture games.... whatever you want to call them
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Aug 29, 2021 04:02
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"Ya wanna just play a little cribbage, maybe? Skunk me and you can go free."
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Aug 29, 2021 04:19
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"I want to play a game." "But not this one right now." "Better luck next time."
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Aug 29, 2021 04:35
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I just get songs stuck in your head and then let you go
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Aug 29, 2021 04:56
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JIGSAW: I want to play a game. You do nothing but post online about how much you love to eat rear end in order to impress the world. But how would you do in a situation were in order to live you would have to live up to your word? If you do not eat the ONE HUNDRED asses in front of you, you will die. man who loves to eat rear end: ok
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Aug 29, 2021 06:27
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ElectronicOldMen posted:JIGSAW: And now my interpretation of Jigsaw on a good day: JIGSAW: I want to play a game. You do nothing but post online about how much you love to eat rear end in order to impress the world. But how would you do in a situation were in order to live you would have to live up to your word? If you do not eat the ONE HUNDRED asses in front of you, you will die. man who hates to eat rear end: oh no!
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Aug 29, 2021 06:28
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jeez, these traps were supposed to help people out and give them a fresh perspective on life but...a lotta people are dying in them. am i making them too hard?
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Aug 29, 2021 06:57
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I would like to play a game... of rocket leaague sorry op I thought the title said day off
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Aug 29, 2021 09:52
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| # ? May 27, 2024 22:51 |
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I would like to play... a game. Henry McClaine, you've dedicated your life to catching the largest fish in your local lake, all the while neglecting the needs of your wife. Now it's time to decide what is more important: Your hobby or your loved one? You'll find the key you need to save her in the bottom of this barrel of fishing hoo- No, I don't know what kind of fishing hooks they are. I bought them in bulk. I can't remember where from, gently caress. Jakes' Fishing Company or something? We're getting off track here. Your wife- What the gently caress. How did you bring a fishing rod in here? I stripped you. It's collapsible? That just raises further questions! Oh, god! There's a time limit! There's a time limit! Stop categorizing the different kinds of lures! Why is your wife... what is she doing? Stop it! Stop trying to trigger your own trap before it's time! You'll die before the game is over and he's not even watching! Oh gently caress this just go. Just go. She's still trying to make the trap go off. Henry isn't even listening. Screw it.
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Aug 29, 2021 10:17
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