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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Penis reduction because I kept almost dying from the massive amount of blood redirection needed to maintain my boner. same but more for aesthetic reasons. I've always loved that greek statue "super ripped dude with a 3 inch dick" look
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Apr 11, 2022 18:47
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Just a small perm on my balls
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Apr 11, 2022 18:50
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Penis reduction because I kept almost dying from the massive amount of blood redirection needed to maintain my boner. Could have just asked for an extra pint of blood instead my friend.
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Apr 11, 2022 19:30
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Could have just asked for an extra pint of blood instead my friend. Oh well NOW you tell me!
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Apr 11, 2022 19:31
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A stoma you just drain cats into like a ethical vampire who wont kill humans to keep your boner working
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Apr 11, 2022 19:32
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You Are A Elf posted:Ingrown toenail removal on my big toe when I was a teenager. Shot twice in the toe (one directly underneath the toenail I had my big toe’s nail removed chemically where they numb the toe and then use some sort of chemical to destroy the matrix. Didn’t feel a thing and had a pleasant conversation with the Dr while he was doing it. Would recommend this procedure for anyone suffering for repetitive ingrown nails on toes.
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Apr 11, 2022 19:42
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) with Novocain, then sprayed vigorously with anesthetic cold spray to numb the area even more before I watched the doctor start cutting into half my toenail with surgical scissors. 
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So many surgeries. Had a couple more penises added to where my nipples used to be. They took those two nipples and combined them into one big one. That big nipple is on my taint now. rear end was replaced with teeth.
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Apr 11, 2022 19:57
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i'm in the appendix and wisdom teeth club. the appendix surgery was not a huge deal. the 48 hours before where i was delirious from pain and nearly passing out at school was bad, and of course recovering from a knife would in the guts sucks for a couple weeks. they whisked me out of the hospital and back home about 8 hours after the surgery, which surprised me. there was a scary moment during my wisdom teeth removal, though -- they delivered whatever sedative or anesthetic i got from an IV, and the instant they fed it in, i got this extremely intense burning / itching sensation all over, but especially in my thighs, groin, and a bit in my arms. i felt myself starting to panic because i was sure it was an allergic reaction and i was going to swell up and suffocate or something, but it also knocked me out almost instantly and i couldn't even say anything. managed to squirm in the chair and let out a sharp breath and that's the last i remember. when i woke up, i was groggy but otherwise fine. or perhaps i never truly woke up, and this existence that rests on a knife's edge carving the line between barely tolerable and living hell is my purgatory. Bad Purchase fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Apr 11, 2022 |
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Apr 11, 2022 20:21
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Removed my scalp and replaced it with a mega man helmet
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Apr 11, 2022 20:24
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Bad Purchase posted:i'm in the appendix and wisdom teeth club. Welcome to hell, friend
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Apr 11, 2022 20:53
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Seth Pecksniff posted:Welcome to hell, friend 
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Apr 11, 2022 20:55
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Mr. Toodles posted:9 months later had my intestines put back together and poo poo myself for the next 5 days because my sphincter hadn't had a work out the whole time. Did you at least take the opportunity to post unironic pants-making GBS threads threads?
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Apr 11, 2022 21:07
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WizDo Teeth, crazy cat scratch fever poo poo, medically induced comas, seizures, pancreatitis, biopsies on polyps during colonoscopies and endoscopies (technically most of this isn't surgery but its fairly rugged). Its pretty unpleasant, don't die kids.
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Apr 11, 2022 21:15
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ear tubes, hernia repair, tonsils, ear tubes again, wisdom teeth. that's 5 before i was 20  since then only ACL repair and a bunch of putting off surgeries various specialists really want me to have. i know the truth: they just want to see my beautiful insides
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Apr 11, 2022 21:29
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Inguinal hernia is the only thing they had to knock me out for. Just a small scar where they had to put some mesh in there and sew my guts back closed. Hurt like hell for a week afterward. Everything else I've had done, like wisdom teeth and even a bone graft in the jaw and setting broken bones and stuff has all just been local anesthetic. Getting anesthetic was so weird. I remember lying there on the surgery table and being scared and uncomfortable and thinking "it's probably going to take forever to put me under." Then then doctor said "Ok, I'm going to count backwards from 10 now...10, 9, 8" and then I blinked and I was in the recovery room.
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Apr 11, 2022 21:51
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Devils Affricate posted:Black market scrotal extension. Balls to the floor
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Apr 11, 2022 21:57
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I had to have surgery to remove a stuck testicle and it was pretty good, got knocked out for an hour woke up went home slept for another eighteen then had to have four weeks of bedrest. Was a pretty great month I do recommend. Only problem was my sister stole my pain meds and refused to at least share the profits
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Apr 11, 2022 22:26
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i was a scrub tech for a while assisting in everything from brain to rear end surgery and saw some pretty wild poo poo. if you ever wondered what they do when you have a boner that wont quit, they literally just stab your tip with a scalpel to drain the blood. they stab the tip of your penis with a knife. 
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Apr 11, 2022 22:31
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i could stab my dick with knife at home for free, what a ripoff
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Apr 11, 2022 22:35
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Congratulations on being a member of the National Honor Society! Your parents must be proud.
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Apr 11, 2022 22:36
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ElectricSheep posted:just had a colonoscopy and lemme tell you I can see why michael jackson liked his propofol Same last year, but with a fentanyl and midazolam combo and you don’t give a fuuuck.
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Apr 11, 2022 22:42
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BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:i was a scrub tech for a while assisting in everything from brain to rear end surgery and saw some pretty wild poo poo. if you ever wondered what they do when you have a boner that wont quit, they literally just stab your tip with a scalpel to drain the blood. they stab the tip of your penis with a knife. Tell me more about this "brain to rear end" surgery
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Apr 11, 2022 22:45
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I had a bunch of bones in my feet broken and moved around to restructure them because they grew the wrong way and my feet were sideways. I still have pins and rods in my feet to this day to hold everything in place. The doctor accidentally shoved one of the instruments through my heel during the surgery too so I have a scar from that as well. The worst part was having my broken feet swell up in the casts the evening after the surgery. I still wince in remembrance when I think about that.
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Apr 11, 2022 22:45
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Devils Affricate posted:Tell me more about this "brain to rear end" surgery 
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Apr 11, 2022 22:56
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:This morning I had surgery for the first time in my life. Pics of your gnarly gross eye
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Apr 11, 2022 23:16
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Hi goons These lungs are still working pretty good I still have titanium wiring in my sternum and some plastic in my chest from my old port Next surgery will be sinuses for the 3rd or 4th time. Last time they forgot some drainage tubes in my nose and it was amusing when they fell into my throat while I was driving. Don't mind me, just horking up penne sized tubes while trying not to crash!
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Apr 12, 2022 11:18
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Ffuucckkkkk wisdom teeth. Mine were relatively chill until I turned 32, then they decided to kill me with a series of jaw infections and a throat closure during the middle of a 20 mile mountain bike ride. I had fun with the nurses as the drugs were kicking in. "I trust you, but keep an eye on that one" Neither, apparently, seemed to have a sense of humor and my wife was horribly embarrassed 
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Apr 12, 2022 12:27
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I got lasik three years ago. They put numbing drops in my eyes then literally clamped my eyes open, sliced a flap in my corneas and then burned the lens into the correct shape using the laser. I had to stare at a blinking green dot the entire time and could smell my burning eye flesh. It smelled like plastic. The whole process took 5 minutes. After the surgery, my vision was like if you opened your eyes underwater. I went home that night and had to wear darkening goggles or go to sleep. So I went to sleep for 4 hours, woke up and my eyelids were crusted shut, though this was expected. I opened my eyes for the first time, looked at my bed clock in crystal clear 20/15 vision. Then I had to put steroidal and antibiotic eye drops in three times a day and not touch my eyes, like at all, for six weeks after. The steroids would run down my throat and taste like loving piss. My vision is still pretty loving amazing but a permanent side effect is my eyes are almost always a little dry and get weird halos when looking directly at lights at night, probably from the scars on the pupils. The dryness usually isn't bothersome but I need to have eye drops handy most of the time. When they get dry, they're dry as gently caress. 8/10 would recommend for the fact I'll never need glasses or contacts again. I also had my wisdom teeth out but that was far less interesting. I was put to sleep then woke up with bloody holes in my mouth. I napped at home after the surgery and drooled a disgusting pool of blood all over my pillow and bed.
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Apr 12, 2022 12:38
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Peggy Edson posted:I got lasik three years ago. They put numbing drops in my eyes then literally clamped my eyes open, sliced a flap in my corneas and then burned the lens into the correct shape using the laser. I had to stare at a blinking green dot the entire time and could smell my burning eye flesh. It smelled like plastic. The whole process took 5 minutes. After the surgery, my vision was like if you opened your eyes underwater. I went home that night and had to wear darkening goggles or go to sleep. So I went to sleep for 4 hours, woke up and my eyelids were crusted shut, though this was expected. I opened my eyes for the first time, looked at my bed clock in crystal clear 20/15 vision. Then I had to put steroidal and antibiotic eye drops in three times a day and not touch my eyes, like at all, for six weeks after. The steroids would run down my throat and taste like loving piss. My vision is still pretty loving amazing but a permanent side effect is my eyes are almost always a little dry and get weird halos when looking directly at lights at night, probably from the scars on the pupils. The dryness usually isn't bothersome but I need to have eye drops handy most of the time. When they get dry, they're dry as gently caress. 8/10 would recommend for the fact I'll never need glasses or contacts again. my dad had lasik ages ago and i remember him telling me about the eyeballs being lazered smell.
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Apr 12, 2022 12:41
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:my dad had lasik ages ago and i remember him telling me about the eyeballs being lazered smell. lol I'll never forget it. Another fun thing is it took several weeks for my brain to adjust to essentially HD vision. I wouldn't get headaches per se, just weird vertigo-type reactions when I would look out long distances and be able to see everything.
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Apr 12, 2022 12:44
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When you get lasik how do your eyes not instinctively dart around? Is it just pure force of will to keep them locked on the green dot?
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Apr 12, 2022 13:49
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I had a nasty sty that ended up becoming permanent and giving me Forest Whitaker eyes, so I had to get surgery to remove it. Not a big deal as far as surgery goes, but having the doctor wedge his thumb under my eyelid, flip it inside out, audibly slice it up with some scissors, then audibly/smellably cauterize it sure was something. I had bloody tears leaking from my eye for a few hours so it was fun freaking out some kids at a taco bell.
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Apr 12, 2022 14:00
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:When you get lasik how do your eyes not instinctively dart around? Is it just pure force of will to keep them locked on the green dot? Yes. And let me tell you, it is not a fun experience when you have a bad anxiety disorder and they only give you half an Ambien to keep you calm.
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Apr 12, 2022 14:09
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similarly, because they were working on my upper right eyelid, i had to keep my eyes closed and look down and to the left the whole time. it was kind of hard to do for like 50 minutes straight, and my head kept subconsciously turning to the left because of it as well lol
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Apr 12, 2022 14:22
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I mean the clamps were under the eyelids and on the eyeballs. It was very hard to actually move them even if I wanted or flinched.
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Apr 12, 2022 17:25
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I’ve been thinking about getting lasik for ages. My eyes are godawful. I went as far as a consultation a while ago and the doctor said I was a good candidate although I would likely still need correction at some point in the future.
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Apr 12, 2022 17:31
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I'm going to get my pelvic floor rebuilt this fall.
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Apr 12, 2022 18:08
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it takes me minimum 3 tries just to do the air puff test, I don't think I'm psychologically capable of getting Lasik done 
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Apr 12, 2022 18:23
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Big Beef City posted:I work at the dick sucking factory so I had a 69 hour procedure done to give me a second mouth Congratulations on being reconnected with your mom
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Apr 12, 2022 18:24
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Torquemada posted:Same last year, but with a fentanyl and midazolam combo and you don’t give a fuuuck. I've had so many colonoscopies and sigmoidoscopies that I don't even get sedation any more. I've always found it more uncomfortable than painful, to an extent. But back in the day it was a nice solid dose of Versed and I didn't remember a single thing. I've had my colon removed and had complications from that that kept me in the hospital for a month; literally the day I was to be released, they pulled the last JP drain and it ruptured an abscess that had formed. I went from being able to get up and around effortlessly to virtually bedridden and in excruciating pain in the matter of minutes and wasn't able to walk without a walker for a good week. Had to get a couple pockets of rot drained from my abdomen, that was not a fun experience. You would not believe how bad it smells. Funny thing is when I had the second surgery to reconnect everything, surgery was done inside of an hour and I was home in a few days. Literal exact opposite.
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