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I loved this. But also, I sort of want to leave this world. I don't want to die, mind you. But good grief.
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Oct 22, 2017 11:11
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New Evidence Reveals Pythagoras Wrote Dozens Of Unhinged Conspiracy Theorems About Trianglesquote:“One scroll is 35 feet long and contains nothing but a rambling series of postulates attempting to demonstrate the existence of a triangle with three obtuse angles that he thought was being kept under wraps by the government.”
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Oct 22, 2017 14:34
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Why Don’t Owen Wilson Come ’Round The Farm To Call On You No More? Sorry Pa my heart belongs to Luke Wilson.
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Oct 22, 2017 16:21
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https://twitter.com/OnionSports/status/922557074634047488
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Oct 24, 2017 01:03
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 I completely forgot about Kelly's "feud" with Charles Schulz. 
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Oct 25, 2017 01:23
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Not The Onion but fake news nonetheless. https://medium.com/@flyinsaucier/illinois-town-lifts-15-year-ban-on-halloween-2d91485286d9
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Oct 25, 2017 03:01
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clown shoes posted:Not The Onion but fake news nonetheless. Should've had something about investigations showing that Meyers didn't have any ties to the Silver Shamrock tragedy of 1982.
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Oct 25, 2017 03:32
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How many of these American Girl Dolls did you own?quote:Fe An Pel 19: An upbeat laborer in the 2170s, Fe An Pel 19 has big dreams of movie-star glamour despite being genetically engineered with extremely long arms and enormous eyes to harvest bioluminescent lichen from deep-sea wreckage
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Oct 25, 2017 15:36
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lol quote:Four-Hundred-Dollar Ashley: A shapeless slab of industrial plastic with the name “ASHLEY” scrawled on it that parents can pay $400 for. Also great: ’80s Throwback! Johnson & Johnson Is Releasing A Limited-Edition Bottle Of Poison Tylenol
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Oct 26, 2017 18:07
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To me, the best articles are the ones that are funny because they could be/are true, like this: Russian Interference Had No Impact On Election, Reports Website Created 8 Minutes Ago
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Oct 26, 2017 22:01
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Double Agent posted:To me, the best articles are the ones that are funny because they could be/are true, like this: "What were we talking about again?" says Trump 15 seconds into phone call to family of fallen soldier.
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Oct 26, 2017 22:27
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Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:"What were we talking about again?" says Trump 15 seconds into phone call to family of fallen soldier. The article is funny. I just wish it wasn't true.
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Oct 26, 2017 22:37
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Double Agent posted:To me, the best articles are the ones that are funny because they could be/are true, like this: Frustrated Russian Officials Struggling To Get Any Policies Through Dysfunctional Trump Administration
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Oct 27, 2017 01:02
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A Sad Kevin classic
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Oct 27, 2017 14:47
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Oh hell no. I saw the first two words in the URL and I'm not going anywhere near that.
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Oct 27, 2017 15:07
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prefect posted:Oh hell no. I saw the first two words in the URL and I'm not going anywhere near that. Don't worry, she just got sent to live on a Fire ConsumesBig Happy Farm Where Families Send Sick Dogs To Run Free And Play Dr. Arbitrary has a new favorite as of 15:26 on Oct 27, 2017 |
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Oct 27, 2017 15:23
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7 Shapes That Will Be Completely Obsolete After I Introduce My Latest Shape, The Triquandle gently caress squares.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:37
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Overcoming The Odds: Despite Being Badly Concussed, This Inspiring Football Player Passed The Concussion Protocol And Returned To The Game
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Oct 28, 2017 17:38
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Though it will never top Diamond Joe Biden, I’m really digging the “Trump Boys” stories: Intelligence Briefing Interrupted by Sofa-Cushion-Wearing Trump Boys Volunteering to Fight in North Korea
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Oct 28, 2017 17:55
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Gann Jerrod posted:Though it will never top Diamond Joe Biden, I’m really digging the “Trump Boys” stories: Intelligence Briefing Interrupted by Sofa-Cushion-Wearing Trump Boys Volunteering to Fight in North Korea I've missed all of these somehow: Trump Boys Sadly Release Pet Alligator Into Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool
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Oct 28, 2017 18:09
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Oct 30, 2017 21:43
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Diamond Joe lives! Biden Hands Out Loose GT Cola Can To Unexpected Trick-Or-Treater
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Nov 1, 2017 01:08
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Slow Down, Buddy: This 25-Year-Old Who Moved To NYC 4 Months Ago Just Wrote A 1,500-Word Facebook Post About How New Yorkers Stand Together In The Face Of Terror Clickhole gets me
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Nov 1, 2017 23:10
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https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/925823114927333376 The updates to this one really got a laugh out of me.
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Nov 1, 2017 23:59
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I'm sure Cucked By A Predator is an actual novella found on Amazon. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCg2dMXOF04
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Nov 2, 2017 00:07
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6 Tips For Moms Having Trouble Getting Joe Pesci To Latch
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Nov 2, 2017 11:44
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White House Staff Frantically Shredding Trump Campaign Aides
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Nov 2, 2017 17:08
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Guy Who Moved to NYC Six Months Ago Lauds Onion Post Poking Fun at Different Guy Who Moved There Slightly Later
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Nov 2, 2017 17:22
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Coca-Cola Introduces Coke Mandatory
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Nov 2, 2017 19:00
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Report: Majority Of Earth’s Potable Water Trapped In Coca-Cola Products
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Nov 2, 2017 19:06
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DNC Unveils Clinton Institute For Campaign Ethics Reform In Response To Corruption Allegations
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Nov 3, 2017 04:29
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Nov 3, 2017 14:55
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https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/927305485119840257
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Nov 5, 2017 23:52
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This is getting sad now.
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Nov 6, 2017 14:15
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On the other hand, this is real cute. 
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Nov 6, 2017 19:03
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Only a picture, but it's good Courtroom Sketch Artist Has Clear Manga Influences
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Nov 10, 2017 07:31
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Obama Sinks Family Savings Into Developing Presidential Tabletop Game That reminded me of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOOw2yWMSfk
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Nov 10, 2017 12:43
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That actually sounds interesting, though I'd rather play a video-game adaptation of it. Obama's idea, that is.
Inspector Gesicht has a new favorite as of 13:21 on Nov 10, 2017 |
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Nov 10, 2017 13:10
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iirc he found a market for it in that it's playable by most disabled people since all you need are the use of your forearms. Having your hands or legs torn off in an industrial accident or war zone doesn't reduce your ability to play Bulletball  He definitely didn't make money but it's about as happy of an ending as that idea could have had.
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Nov 10, 2017 13:16
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qip9wSaBs98 It even became an olympic sport, just like he said it would  .
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Nov 10, 2017 13:34
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