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Tinestram
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"

Grimey Drawer

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:


lol? :chloe:

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

"I did nothing wrong"

LOL

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bvj191jgl7bBsqF5m
Apr 16, 2017

IÃÂÃŒÂÌ° Ó̯̖̫̹̯̤A҉mÃÂ̺̩ Ç̬A̡̮̞̠ÚÉ̱̫ K̶eÓgÃÂ.̻̱̪̕Ö̹̟
I'm looking forward to the President Kid Rock thread where we get to remember that the president of the united states once rhymed "things" with "things" in a grammy-nominated hit single that sampled Sweet Home Alabama and Werewolves of London

lol

bvj191jgl7bBsqF5m fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Sep 11, 2017

Waffle House
Oct 27, 2004

You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.


I look forward to Kid Rock's extremely defensive, profanity-laced withdrawal from whatever race he may or may not enter.

Waffle House
Oct 27, 2004

You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.


And the subsequent album release, "KID ROCK GOES TO WASHINGTON"

Catastrophe
Oct 5, 2007

Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:


lol? :chloe:

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

“I did nothing wrong and I was elected."

Hey yo can someone "do nothing wrong" with a hammer to this guy?

Obsidianheart
Apr 26, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.
So, I'm sick, right? Fluid in the lungs and all that poo poo. And they say laughter is the best medicine. So, here I am, waiting for my daily LOLs ration from POTUS2S, and nothing. Nothing. Man, he never fails to disappoint. Time to hit up those "Best Of" posts.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Catastrophe posted:

“I did nothing wrong and I was elected."

What if he really did nothing wrong? What if he hit a girl with a hammer 40 times and it really was self-defence the whole time? What a pissboy he must be.

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
tbh im in favour of kid rock for senate/president on the basis of securing future sources of lols

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




I bet I could defend myself from a teenage girl with fewer than a dozen hammer strikes. What a weakling.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Kid Rock lyrics Part 1

Wax The Booty

Step into my crib she said the rise impressed her
So without delay I began to undress her
Unstrapped her bra and whispered to her are you with me
She said yes so I grabbed them titties
Next was the test to see if she was high rank
I dropped her panties and was slippin, I asked do you stank
She said no and noted to me that her shower soap is Gucci
So I dropped my boxers and headed for her coochie
Headed fo her coochie
Grease it down real good
Headed for her coochie
Dang that's good

-

Killing Brain Cells

gently caress hoes cuz I'm no big fag
Roll with Zig Zags like to read skin mags
When I shoot I never miss

-

3 Sheets to the Wind

I'm here and it's clear I'm gonna flow so yo black
Just get on up or yo get the bozak
Cuz it ain't Kojak or Dr. Suess

-

gently caress U Blind

I'll gently caress u blind bitch
I'll gently caress u blind bitch
I'll gently caress u blind till you just can't see no more
Back in school I knew this chick her name was Sara Bolerdies
and she thought she was the poo poo becuz she dated older guys
Dumb bitch fuckin whore always wanted to get laid
but never gave the pussy up to anybody in her grade
Played me like a sucker
like a bitch like a punk
that little pussy lickin finger fuckin ho rear end oval office
Never once did she speak to anybody in her class
so one day I told her never let me get that rear end

-

Balls In ur mouth

Balls in your mouth
balls in your mouth; "U want my balls in your mouth"
Back to my crib with no delay
big grin on my grill and not much to say
Except her yo bitch how's about
I drop my my drawers and put my balls in your mouth
Next the cutie started rubbin my back
then she put a finger right between my booty crack
So I grabbed her wrist quick and said hold up slut
"Ain't nobody stickin mothin in my butt"
Now right then I knew I had a ho and a half
and all I could do is sit back and laugh
Stare at the cceiling thinking about
this chick I just met's got my balls in her mouth

At least he asked for consent before grabbing her tits.

flashy_mcflash
Feb 7, 2011

Not even beauty pageants are a safe space for Simple Don anymore :(

https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/907083544303869952

Nocheez
Sep 5, 2000

Can you spare a little cheddar?
Nap Ghost
Oh god, all these terrible Kid Rock lyrics...

Can we bring back the MAGA chuds now? It's gotta be better than
"I'm here and it's clear I'm gonna flow so yo black
Just get on up or yo get the bozak
Cuz it ain't Kojak or Dr. Suess"

crazy cloud
Nov 7, 2012

by Cyrano4747
Lipstick Apathy
can't bring maga chuds back this is a real swallowed a spider to catch the fly situation and the only way to end the kid rock menace is clear: the insane clown posse must run for office

Seaside Loafer
Feb 7, 2012

Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

To be fair I think kid rocks lyrics are meant at least partially for comedic value (not that im a fan) however im not sure how seriously such an individual could be taken as a real life politician. But ... thinking about it you guys have had Ronald Reagen, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Donald Trump now so anything goes I guess.

lol

whip
Apr 9, 2007

by Lowtax

flashy_mcflash posted:

Not even beauty pageants are a safe space for Simple Don anymore :(

https://twitter.com/goldengateblond/status/907083544303869952

Make me safe from white supremacy. Only Donald Trump can do this

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit
I welcome are chud tards with open arms. Laughing at them is the only thing that brings me joy. It only works if I know they're watching.

whip
Apr 9, 2007

by Lowtax
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KnAzpi4avo

Loolll

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

whip posted:

Make me safe from white supremacy. Only Donald Trump can do this

Honestly, that's the best answer she can give and still stay in the contest, or whatever. The correct answer would have been the counter question, "are you retarded, like our president, Donald Trump?" Dropping the mic and walking away while laughing would have also been an acceptable response in a just world.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Seaside Loafer posted:

To be fair I think kid rocks lyrics are meant at least partially for comedic value (not that im a fan) however im not sure how seriously such an individual could be taken as a real life politician. But ... thinking about it you guys have had Ronald Reagen, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and Donald Trump now so anything goes I guess.

lol

Not sure I buy that he's ironic. Unlike these guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x67jtMPfdTw

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
he probably is that stupid and unpleasant. if it was ever an act, after so many years of keeping it up it sure isn't any more.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
but anyway kid rock might be able to become a senator but the presidency will forever be out of his grasp. see, he'd have to take his hat off in public and few things are quite as disgusting as an old man who is bald on top with long hair on the sides. though, i suppose donny manages to hide it well enough.

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...
I'd vote for Steel Panthers and their "Death to all but metal" platform

Reince Penis
Nov 15, 2007

by R. Guyovich

SlipkPIe posted:

I wonder which politician will be blamed for his death when his liver finally explodes and he keels over

uuuuhhhh George Soros obviously have you not been paying attention

old beast lunatic
Nov 3, 2004

by Hand Knit

NotWearingPants posted:

Meet the Secretary of the Broward County (Ft Lauderdale, Fl.) Republican party:


lol? :chloe:

https://news.vice.com/story/florida-gop-secretary-attacking-a-girl-with-a-hammer

This is a slight derail but if you can get your head smashed 40 times with a hammer until the hammer breaks and survive you're probably an X-man.

END OF AN ERROR
May 16, 2003

IT'S LEGO, not Legos. Heh


Feminasty Slut posted:

This is a slight derail but if you can get your head smashed 40 times with a hammer until the hammer breaks and survive you're probably an X-man.

Did it say she had a sex change?

Pipski
Apr 18, 2004

quote:

This is party politics.

You maniacally beat one girl into a wheelchair, with a claw hammer, in broad daylight, outside a Jamba Juice...

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Kid Rock Part 2


"Yo-Da-Lin In The Valley" posted:

Yodle In The Valley
And I'd do it at the drop of a dime (dime)
Sometimes goin from behind (from behind)
Slowly strokin, no jokin
My tongue just keeps on pokin
And the best type of oochie coochie
Is the type that tastes like sushi
Eat it
Watch a girl get frisky
And then wash it down with a shot of whiskey


"With a One-Two" posted:

Get down girl and read my mind
And you'll see that it's focused on your behind

You gotta lotta class and don't mind me askin
But can I go up in your fat rear end
And just pump, pump, pump

"The Cramper" posted:

Have you ever known a free lancer
Thinks that he's a camper
Known around my way as the cramper
Like P.M.S. always pokin'
But he won't go away with a little Motrin


"Desperate Radio" posted:

Out on the plains I'm just a loner
my saddle horn rubs right and yo it's givin me a boner
I got thoughts of Annie Oakley
but that buck toothed tramp in that last town she broke me
And we didn't even gently caress
I gave my last gold tooth 'n gold nugget to get my dick sucked
3 days out on the frontier
and I'd kill for a cheap whore and a barrel of cold beer
I need a slut for a service
I take a peak at the shiip and they all run away nervous
Man I gotta get my rocks off
cuz my Wranglers don't fit right unless my cock's soft
Long nights by the fire me a Trigger.....go figure


"Back From The Dead" posted:

Bitches, they think I'm sexist
but all I want baby is your grits for breakfast
Eggs, bacon, home cooked fries
and gimme a plate of that pussy on the side



"Rollin on the is..." posted:

Bellisle B-B-Bellisle
Bell-Bellisle Bell-Bell-Bellisle
Hey Kid Rock, tell 'em how your livin
Man i spend my birthdays at Denny's eatin southern slams
I'm not a butt nut you know that i never bang
But i lick more coochie than K.D. Lang


"Rain Check" posted:

Tearin up pussy every where i go
I'm Kid mother fuckin Rock so what's up hoe?
You wanna get hosed by me dick mick dangles
Then drop your funky drawers straight down to your ancles



"Pancake Breakfast" posted:

But I got more rhymes than a cornfield stalks
and I turn more tricks than Tony Hawk
Walk with a limp cuz I pimp like a pro
and if ya dis me punk I'll gently caress your ho
And though you think I'm nothing more than a young punk
I'm like a hound dog chasin a chipmunk
I move quick like a cheetah
and it ain't poo poo to me to just beat a
M.C. down who looks like a dick
jumpin 'round like a homo on a pogo stick


"Paid" posted:

And while your out gangbangin'
tryin to catch a murder case
Your ho's on my couch
gettin' hosed in the face
Bumpin' to the bass of the old school rap jams


"Classic Rock" posted:

Bend over bitch and let me slam a
Big fat dick up in your puddy, oh goody
If your a freaky hoe, well do the backdoor boody
Bitch
don't need your front
You'de poo poo your pants if I licked your oval office
Fuckin in the bed, fuckin in the showers
I got more hoes then my man Ed Powers
I wont send flowers after fuckin doll
You can bet your rear end I'll be screening calls
I don't really need to be tied down
Im a ramblin man and I'm platinum bound
A hound on the hunt rippin hoes apart
And I gently caress so hard I make the pussy fart
Do the hip-hip-hop yep it don't stop
Im back, bitch, with the Classic Rock

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
I'm now convinced Sheryl Crow had no idea who Kid Rock was before agreeing to perform a duet with him

Catastrophe
Oct 5, 2007

Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright

Pipski posted:

You maniacally beat one girl into a wheelchair, with a claw hammer, in broad daylight, outside a Jamba Juice...

Typical liberal smear tactics. Have you heard about Hillary's emails?

Catastrophe
Oct 5, 2007

Committed to burn twice as long and half as bright
The rat-faced hick who drove his truck through the crowd of anti-white nationalist protesters here yesterday and then backed up to speed through them again claimed he feared for his life so he wasn't actually arrested:

http://koin.com/2017/09/11/man-who-drove-into-vancouver-protest-crowd-not-arrested

And then he apparently started posting smug nonsense on Facebook about it. Listen. If you ever get a chance to read this, you retard, check it out: Your group was the one that literally got chased out of Oregon and fled to Vancouver, WA. You're the 75lb weakling overcompensating by hiding behind a giant metal redneckmobile. You're the one who drove into a crowd and then pissed your pants and said you were the one scared for your life. You wimp. You cowardly prick. You scared little dentist-avoiding retard. Stay scared. Stay away. You should be scared for your life if you show face again.

lol Donald Jalopy Trump made white supremacists think they were tough but they're all actually scared babies

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!

Catastrophe posted:

The rat-faced hick who drove his truck through the crowd of anti-white nationalist protesters here yesterday and then backed up to speed through them again claimed he feared for his life so he wasn't actually arrested:

http://koin.com/2017/09/11/man-who-drove-into-vancouver-protest-crowd-not-arrested

And then he apparently started posting smug nonsense on Facebook about it. Listen. If you ever get a chance to read this, you retard, check it out: Your group was the one that literally got chased out of Oregon and fled to Vancouver, WA. You're the 75lb weakling overcompensating by hiding behind a giant metal redneckmobile. You're the one who drove into a crowd and then pissed your pants and said you were the one scared for your life. You wimp. You cowardly prick. You scared little dentist-avoiding retard. Stay scared. Stay away. You should be scared for your life if you show face again.

lol Donald Jalopy Trump made white supremacists think they were tough but they're all actually scared babies

calm down there buddy

its been known that right-wing people are scaredy-cats for a long time.

Mr Ice Cream Glove
Apr 22, 2007

Cross post

https://twitter.com/thehill/status/907350583702687744?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Seaside Loafer
Feb 7, 2012

Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

but anyway kid rock might be able to become a senator but the presidency will forever be out of his grasp. see, he'd have to take his hat off in public and few things are quite as disgusting as an old man who is bald on top with long hair on the sides. though, i suppose donny manages to hide it well enough.
I suppose it says something when I actually would prefer kid rock to be the president of the united states than the current one. But then id prefer a loving blade of grass really, at least that wouldn't have the ability to tweet its retarded mindstate every 10 minutes

Punk da Bundo
Dec 29, 2006

by FactsAreUseless
friendship cancelled with republicans

democrats are my best friend now

Waffle House
Oct 27, 2004

You follow the path
fitting into an infinite pattern.

Yours to manipulate, to destroy and rebuild.

Now, in the quantum moment
before the closure
when all become one.

One moment left.
One point of space and time.

I know who you are.

You are Destiny.


Did the Trump's Fine 4: Liberal Tears thread get gassed, too

tpink
Feb 18, 2013

Melman
Bad news, everyone. We might not be getting a Trump vs. Clinton 2020 match-up.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/10/us/politics/hillary-clinton-campaign-memoir.html

quote:

WASHINGTON — Hillary Clinton, who grapples with her second failed presidential run in a new memoir to be published Tuesday, said on Sunday that she does not plan on running again for public office.

“I am done with being a candidate,” she said in an interview on CBS’s “Sunday Morning.”

Mrs. Clinton said that she would still like a place in American life.

:ohdear:

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
she said that a lot after obama curbstomped her scaly rear end, too.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

quote:

Mrs. Clinton said that she would still like a place in American life.
:emo:

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

she's gonna marry zuckerberg and be FLOTUS again

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gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
a place in american life includes 'malevolent god', 'eternal tyrant', and of course, 'devourer of life and joy'.

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