|
couldcareless posted:My fiance would be livid if this happened and would more than likely call them up and bitch them out and subsequently uninvite them. It would be fantastic A couple of times I've been back east visiting my parents and a neighbor or someone was getting married, so I got a last minute verbal invitation. Although in that situation we typically only went to the church and not the reception.
|
#
?
Mar 3, 2014 20:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 12, 2024 21:11 |
|
|
couldcareless posted:My fiance would be livid if this happened and would more than likely call them up and bitch them out and subsequently uninvite them. It would be fantastic eh, I just figure the more the merrier at this point, I'm not vested in keeping the guest count under a certain number for anything other than budgetary reasons, and my parents are paying for their guests, including the extras they are bringing along, so it seems ok.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 00:49
|
|
|
At some point you have to set a hard deadline for additions though, I had all sorts of last minute additions as well but a week out from the wedding I closed it to any additional people. Any people who suddenly pop up in the last seven days but weren't on the radar the past year+ are clearly not important enough to re-do all the seating and such for.
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 01:12
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:At some point you have to set a hard deadline for additions though, I had all sorts of last minute additions as well but a week out from the wedding I closed it to any additional people. Any people who suddenly pop up in the last seven days but weren't on the radar the past year+ are clearly not important enough to re-do all the seating and such for. I agree with this, the wedding is March 15th, so this Friday is our cutoff, anyone else who asks to come after that will be told to just deal, they can come to the ceremony, but not reception. One exception is if my grandma decides to come from India at the last minute. She is always welcome!!
|
|
#
?
Mar 4, 2014 01:21
|
|
|
I've got a question about picking a DJ - we've gone through the process of getting the venue, photographer, caterer, dress, etc., but my fiance and I are having a hell of a time picking out a DJ. How do people differentiate better DJ's? We just don't know what criteria to use to make a decision. Looking on wedding wire at all the reviews, and pretty much everything is so gushing and non-descriptive that I can't really figure out if this person would be a good fit or if they do a decent job. Short of stalking random weddings or word of mouth, does anybody have any ideas? Or does anybody know a good DJ the Atlanta area that's free in October? anthropogentric fucked around with this message at 23:06 on Mar 7, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 7, 2014 22:52
|
|
|
Ask your venue and/or photographer. They've seen bazillions of weddings in your area and could probably at least provide you with a list of ones they thought did a good job and probably a list of ones to avoid. We picked the most professional looking one off of our venue's recommended vendors list and it turned out well.
|
|
#
?
Mar 8, 2014 17:44
|
|
|
anthropogentric posted:I've got a question about picking a DJ - we've gone through the process of getting the venue, photographer, caterer, dress, etc., but my fiance and I are having a hell of a time picking out a DJ. How do people differentiate better DJ's? We just don't know what criteria to use to make a decision. Looking on wedding wire at all the reviews, and pretty much everything is so gushing and non-descriptive that I can't really figure out if this person would be a good fit or if they do a decent job. Short of stalking random weddings or word of mouth, does anybody have any ideas? Something to consider when looking for a DJ is whether or not he can do lighting. It's one of the best ways to save money at a wedding. Flowers are ungodly expensive, and if you can get a person who knows how to light up a venue, you can save money on decor, because it makes the whole place look cooler for generally a very reasonable price (compared to big floral centerpieces)
|
|
#
?
Mar 9, 2014 09:05
|
|
|
What readings did people do? How did you choose them? Apparently it's one of my jobs, and it's something that I should have done by now. Admittedly the hard deadline is not for a couple of weeks, but we don't want to get close to that just in case something goes wrong in the bureaucracy. To be honest that was a job that I was expecting to be pretty easy - I consider myself well read, good taste of course...but i'm finding it really drat hard. The online libraries of readings I've found seem to be full of trite, cheesy stuff, the one shared poem we had (the owl and the pussycat) unfortunately turned out to not be so suitable (all those 'pussys' in the first verse, I can just imagine the tittering), and I don't know if I want to risk a mangled Shakespeare. I suppose I'd give the people doin the readings a bit of preperation time though. It's a registry wedding (UK) so the readings have to be entirely secular. Not even a hint of God or religion. mediadave fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Mar 15, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2014 12:15
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:The one issue I could see with the last one lies with the cake baker's skill level. Getting perfectly aligned and straight rings around the cake may be difficult for some. This is exactly what happened. The cake looked pretty awful up close. Everything else went awesome, 380 people, awesome dance party, packed house, people had a great time. I don't regret a second of it, nor do I regret the amount of money that we spent, it was well worth it for that day!
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 17:03
|
|
|
My mom has extended family that lives about 4 hours away. She calls them occasionally and is Facebook friends with the few that have Facebooks. The last time I saw any of these people was about 5 years ago at my maternal grandmother's funeral. I have 2 cousins from that part of the family that I actually am close to because they are my age. We visit each other every few months and keep in close contact. The rest of the family, I'd have trouble picking out of a crowd. My mom says if I invite my 2 cousins, I'd have to invite their parents and then their aunts and uncles etc. Suddenly I have 17 more people than I wanted. Because not inviting them would "Hurt their feelings" Honestly I don't ever see these people and if it hurts their feelings I'd just tell them "Well, you should have tried to keep in contact like my cousins did." But mom DOES keep in contact with them and says she doesn't want me to burn those bridges. Now, mom is paying for everything. If she's paying does that mean she can invite extra people? I've been told by some I won't even notice the extra people, but our guest list is only about 100 people. I'm stuck between "It's MY Day!!" and "Mom's paying so it's her right" I am leaning towards just letting her do it to avoid the drama.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 17:34
|
|
|
Buggiezor posted:My mom has extended family that lives about 4 hours away. She calls them occasionally and is Facebook friends with the few that have Facebooks. The last time I saw any of these people was about 5 years ago at my maternal grandmother's funeral. let her do it. The more the merrier, this day is for her too.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 18:32
|
|
|
Buggiezor posted:My mom has extended family that lives about 4 hours away. She calls them occasionally and is Facebook friends with the few that have Facebooks. The last time I saw any of these people was about 5 years ago at my maternal grandmother's funeral. You will not notice the extra people, and for large social events like wedding, you really need to recognize family units. It I rude to invite one cousin and snub her parents or invite one aunt and snub her sister. If they don't feel close enough to attend, you won't even have to worry about it, but you should extend the invitation. Especially if your mom is paying. The whole "my day" thing is a modern invention. Traditionally a wedding was all about the parents and the family. 40% Bride's family, 40% Grooms family, 20% for the Bride and Groom's young friends. Many people still see weddings as an opportunity for a family reunion, a chance to reconnect with relatives you don't get to see often. Plus, older gusts usually spend more on presents so that's a bonus.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 18:45
|
|
|
If your venue can handle it, go along with it. We had a late addition by my mother-in-law of some random family friends, as well as a distant semi-family member who we met once at a funeral. Distant as in literally the widower husband of the (deceased) niece of my wife's (deceased) great-grandmother, who lived three states away. Dude couldn't make it and bought us $200 worth of dinnerware for a wedding present anyway, so it worked out in the end.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 20:04
|
|
|
mediadave posted:What readings did people do? How did you choose them? We were stumped on this one too. Ended up going with a reading of an appended version of some song lyrics (The Cure's 'Friday I'm in love' - we're getting married this Friday(!!)) since neither of us could think of any poetry that was appropriate and not cheesey. Hopefully it's not entirely awful! We'll play the song at the recessional too for a nice little tie-in. My runner-up choice was Edward Monkton's lovely love story: http://www.itakeyou.co.uk/wedding-ideas/wedding-readings-poems/a-lovely-story.htm. It has dinosaurs.
|
|
#
?
Mar 17, 2014 23:25
|
|
|
For offbeat readings, I love this bit from RadioLab, but I'm not sure I have any friends or family that could deliver it:Robert Krulwich posted:"This story that come to us from Plato, by way of Aristophanes. It's a 2400 year-old story:
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 00:10
|
|
|
Sab0921 posted:This is exactly what happened. The cake looked pretty awful up close. Was it at least tasty? That's all that really matters. When we went cake shopping we were torn between this cake (we liked the fun shape):  And this cake (we liked having colored bands and straight lines):  So we blended them together to get this:  Buggiezor posted:My mom has extended family that lives about 4 hours away. She calls them occasionally and is Facebook friends with the few that have Facebooks. The last time I saw any of these people was about 5 years ago at my maternal grandmother's funeral. I'd invite all of them just to avoid drama. It's one thing inviting a close friend but not their parents, it's a whole different animal to selectively choose family members who are that close together. Even if you don't get poo poo from them directly, your mom definitely will. They may not even come, most of my distant relatives I couldn't pick out of a crowd that I was forced to invite didn't come to mine.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 00:10
|
|
|
Moto Punch posted:My runner-up choice was Edward Monkton's lovely love story: http://www.itakeyou.co.uk/wedding-ideas/wedding-readings-poems/a-lovely-story.htm. It has dinosaurs. That's what we used for a reading and it seemed to go over really well with the crowd. Plus as was mentioned.... dinosaurs!
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 00:32
|
|
|
The requirements of the Catholic church prior to "allowing" us to get married are such loving bullshit. They gave me a checklist of things that I need to submit to them or do prior to our wedding, which includes: a baptismal and confirmation certificate that specifically states "FOR MARRIAGE," birth certificate, marriage license, photocopies of my passport, a certificate of legal capacity to marry from the US embassy, a canonical interview with the priest, publication of marriage banns for 3 consecutive Sundays, a marriage preparation program for Pre-Cana, Catechism and Natural Family Planning. Most lovely of all, they are asking me for a list of all the previous places I've lived (for at least 6 months) since I was 14 years old and my parishes and priest in each place, as well as a signed/notarized letter from the priest of each of these parishes that states that I'm free to marry within the Catholic church. I'd lived in 8 different places.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 02:05
|
|
|
ihatepants posted:The requirements of the Catholic church prior to "allowing" us to get married are such loving bullshit. Goodness, I'd be afraid of identity theft...some of these seem off to me (passport photocopies, list of previous addresses since you were a teen). That's not too far off from what's requested in a security clearance investigation!
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 02:16
|
|
|
ihatepants posted:The requirements of the Catholic church prior to "allowing" us to get married are such loving bullshit. We did a Catholic wedding, and it wasn't nearly that hard. Here's what I can explain from your list though: 1) Baptismal certificate: You need to send your original baptismal certificate; or, more accurately, have the church where it's located send an official copy "through channels" (your priest will know what that means). Whenever you receive sacraments in the church they will write the sacrament and the date received on the back of your original baptismal certificate. This is to prove you haven't been married before (at least in the church). 2) Confirmation certificate is a "nice to have" but should be covered by #1. The "FOR MARRIAGE" bit sounds like a lot of bullshit. I did not have to submit such a thing and I'm officially married in the church. 3) Marriage license: you can't get this more than 60 days before the wedding so I hope they're not insisting on it now. Our priest wouldn't let us do the rehearsal before he had it in his hands just so there weren't any "oh poo poo" moments the day of. Basically just covering your rear end. 4) Photocopies of your passport: WTF 5) Certificate of legal capacity to marry: Is there something you're leaving out? Are you an immigrant? If not, I have no idea. 6) Canonical interview: Pretty standard. Two pages of questions verifying you're not a dirty heathen basically asking if you've ever been ex-communicated or are a proclaimed atheist, etc (pro tip: all the answers to the questions about kids are "yes") 7) Marriage banns? WTF are those? 8) Marriage prep: standard. Our priest found us a loophole to get out of it but unless you have a very good reason why you can't do it like ours you ain't getting out of it. 9) Past addresses: That seems really weird and overkill. The canonical investigation asks for your addresses so they can get in touch with the Bishop of each place where you've lived if need be, but I did not need a notarized letter from any former priests. Maybe because I grew up going to church with the priest who did our wedding, but that just seems excessive. I didn't need anything notarized from the parish I moved to once I left home. For our wedding all we had to do was have me submit my baptismal certificate, both do the canonical interview, and hand the priest our marriage license as soon as we got it. That's it. However, we had extenuating circumstances in that I was in one state, he was in another 12 hours away, the priest performing the marriage was across the country, and none of us had the time or means to all meet together in person before the actual wedding (even via Skype). He waived the requirements for all the pre-Cana crap for us because of that, but I think it's ONLY because I've known the priest since I was a kid and he knows we're generally good people and I'm not the type who'd rush into something that wasn't right. I would find a new priest ASAP. Some are super sticklers for the rules (like yours seems to be) and some see them more as guidelines. Luckily my family priest is more of a guidelines type guy than a MUST FOLLOW THE RULES TO THE LETTER guy. Problem! fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Mar 18, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 03:35
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:We did a Catholic wedding, and it wasn't nearly that hard. Here's what I can explain from your list though: I forgot to mention that I'm getting married in the Philippines. No way to get a new priest, since the church it's being held in only has one. Apparently these requirements are standard for all Catholic churches in the Philippines, though. And it sucks. I would have just said that I wasn't Catholic if it was easier, but there's a whole different checklist for that, too. The "For Marriage" thing on the birth and confirmation certificates are supposedly how they control things. Like they keep a database on that stuff and are only ever allowed to give out one "for marriage" certificate of each sacrament ever. The marriage banns requirements just shows how loving ridiculous, backwards and stuck to rituals the Catholic church (and Filipinos in general) here still is. They're the public announcements that two members of the church are getting married and they have to be published for three Sundays prior to the wedding. The thing is, as far as I know, the Catholic church officially abolished that requirement in the 80s. I'm guessing that it's because it's an excuse to extort more money out of people, because they're charging $40+ just to publish it. I'd also actually read on a blog that questioned why the practice is still being done here and it said that the priest responded to them by justifying the church's right to collect money for posting the banns. I'd already done the marriage prep stuff, which was looooong. The retreat was from Friday night until Sunday evening, they woke us at 630am on Saturday and Sunday and didn't get done with the lectures/events until around 1130pm. I'm not a very religious guy, but thankfully the retreat wasn't really religion focused until the afternoon of the last day. And even then it wasn't really preachy. It was mostly just what you might expect during the marriage and other advice. Overall, I thought it was pretty good, though, even if it killed an entire weekend. It's kind of lame that I have to submit all the US passport/embassy requirements, since I'm a dual citizen (so that I wouldn't have to deal with visa stuff while studying here). Apparently they still count it as being a foreigner in that case. Although, I did grow up and live in the US for most of my life. The US doesn't even have a marriage database or anything, so I can't get the certificate that they're asking of me, I have to go to the embassy and get an affidavit in lieu of it instead (which some churches in the Philippines don't even accept for some reason). In any case, these are all huge headaches that I wish I didn't have to deal with two months before the wedding. ihatepants fucked around with this message at 04:48 on Mar 18, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 04:43
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:
That cake is adorable! I love it. Also, yeah you're right, some may not come. They are very strict religious people for the most part and some won't even set foot in a restaurant that serves alcohol. So maybe they'll decline. I just wanted my guest list to be a little more intimate. But I'll get over it. Thanks for the advice everyone.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 17:20
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:So we blended them together to get this:
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 20:14
|
|
|
Tempura Wizard posted:If you don't mind me asking, where did you find that cake topper? It's basically the best. Etsy! I ordered them from this shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/magicbeanbuyer She doesn't have wedding cake toppers listed on her site anymore but she custom made ours without any trouble. We sent her a picture of us and she painted the figurines to look like us  I got the vast majority of our small wedding stuff from Etsy. It's a great way to get personalized stuff that isn't super cheesy or expensive.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 20:43
|
|
|
I'm looking for some suggestions to add something spiritual to the ceremony, without any organized religion stuff, but also not to make it too hippy or neo-pagan Druidic stuff. Both of us are officially Christians (I'm Catholic, she's Lutheran), but haven't been to church in over a decade except for a funeral or wedding. I feel more atheist than anything else at this point in my life, but my fiancee wants to have a bit more than the civil ceremony, and I'm willing to go along. The wedding will be in Hungarian (of which I speak perhaps 50 words), and the most important parts of the ceremony will be translated into my native language. Therefore, I'm looking more for something visual than oral. The wedding will be outside under a tree. There will be some traditional Hungarian rituals after the ceremony (for example, we have to break a plate together by throwing it to the floor: 1 year of happiness for each shard), so I guess we can do something there as well. Any ideas?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 21:09
|
|
|
For goonettes who also don't know what to do with their wedding dresses: I took mine to a used wedding dress shop that sells on consignment, and I just got the call yesterday that it sold! I took it in late September and had completely forgotten about it so it was a really nice surprise (and the $1200 check in the mail is a nice surprise too). Highly recommend doing this if your dress is just going to sit in a closet collecting dust. I'm also happy that my dress gets to have another day of fun.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2014 22:46
|
|
|
Can I get some groomsmen gift ideas? I'm looking for in the range of $150-$200 per groomsmen. Also, please tell me if these suck because I've lagged this and now I'm scrambling. Best man: I think I'll get him NIN conert tickets. Do I get him 1 ticket or do I get him 2 so he can take a buddy? Groomsmen 1: He's very adventurous and likes to do lots of spontaneous stuff. He likes to travel and things like skydiving, going on helicopter rides, and etc. I was looking at cloud9living.com but not sure if I like the options, are there similar websites you guys can recommend? Groomsmen 2: I was hoping to get him some nice beer from a nearby brewery since he loves beer. In addition, I was looking for some beer related stuff to get him. Something classy to add to the high-end beer. Groomsmen 3: Got him Lakers tickets. Probably the worst time to go but I hope he has fun. I appreciate any suggestions!
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2014 03:28
|
|
|
Hand of the King posted:Can I get some groomsmen gift ideas? I'm looking for in the range of $150-$200 per groomsmen. Also, please tell me if these suck because I've lagged this and now I'm scrambling. Always buy two tickets whenever you're buying them as a gift. That way, if it sells out before you give them the tickets, they can still take someone. (Also very few people would go to a gig alone, so a single ticket might lead to them skipping the gig entirely if no one they know is already going). Hand of the King posted:Groomsmen 2: I was hoping to get him some nice beer from a nearby brewery since he loves beer. In addition, I was looking for some beer related stuff to get him. Something classy to add to the high-end beer. Glassware. A set of big, gently caress-off tankards or barrel glasses (possibly engraved with your (Bride/Groom, not yours/his) names and the date of your wedding). Leather drinking jacks, or metal tankards are also an option. Since a present like this should be used until it breaks (rather than sitting in a cupboard), consider what your groomsman would use, and buy that - I think there's nothing worse than "fine china syndrome*", and would much rather buy/recieve something that would get used and loved, rather than forgotten. *Fine China Syndrome: 1. The leaving of crockery or glassware "for special occasions", leading to them being forgotten about and hidden away until the owner moves house and finds them again. 2. The unpacking and packing away of special items of crockery or glassware, which often leads to those things being broken more often than if they were in normal use. Death of Rats fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Mar 19, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2014 12:49
|
|
|
Edit: Nevermind, sorted it out.
ihatepants fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Mar 22, 2014 |
|
#
?
Mar 22, 2014 16:11
|
|
|
So what's the record for the earliest "We're helping to pay, so we want absolute control over the guest list"? I got 6 days.
|
|
#
?
Mar 23, 2014 22:12
|
|
|
You have to allow a few additions and whatnot, but complete control? Put your foot down, and give the money back if they're a dick about it.
|
|
#
?
Mar 23, 2014 22:23
|
|
|
How much control are we talking? I allowed my parents to add some random relatives and friends of theirs to my list since they were paying for it, the only guest list arguments we had were when they tried to order me to un-invite one of my friends because my sister didn't like him. I didn't un-invite him because that would be really rude, plus it's my guest list with my friends and not hers and she can suck it up. Shockingly the world didn't end when they had to be in the same room together for a few hours. Who knew! When it comes down to it the majority of parents are willing to put up with a few people being/not being there if it means maintaining a good relationship with their kids. That being said, if this control thing looks like it'll be a running problem throughout your planning period  YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE ONLY PERSON SIGNING CONTRACTS EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT WRITING THE CHECK because then if your parents try to pull some bullshit like changing your plans to what they want instead of what you envisioned they can't since changes can only be made by the person on the contract.
|
|
#
?
Mar 23, 2014 23:20
|
|
|
Hah it's not that dire yet; we want a small ceremony/reception so at the moment it's basically parents/grandparents/very close family members (for an as yet un-venued wedding in 2015) and mother dearest is upset that I've put aunts and uncles I haven't seen in a decade on the maybe list. They agreed to host an engagement party for us, and we had said we'd like to invite everyone in a more casual format with the understanding that we'll be having a very small wedding but still want them to be involved or w/e. Now the parents are complaining about the numbers being too high... I thought mother of the bride was meant to be the crazy one, not the grooms mother.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2014 00:28
|
|
|
I may be being paranoid here, but I'd be wary of them inviting everyone they want to the engagement party. It's an etiquette faux pas to invite people to pre-wedding festivities (especially those where a gift is customary) but not the wedding itself so later on your parents might pull the "but they came to your engagement party you have to add them to the wedding guest list!" card. Just my two cents. The contract thing still stands regardless of drama level, it's an instant argument killer.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2014 00:50
|
|
|
Aquatic Giraffe posted:... parents might pull the "but they came to your engagement party you have to add them to the wedding guest list!" card. Hah I fully expect they will, but we're going to let everyone know exactly what's up going in and to please not bring any gifts (we've lived together just over 9 years so we don't need stuff, and some people will bring something regardless) so if anyone feels like a bait-and-switch has occurred it's not going to be on me.
|
|
#
?
Mar 24, 2014 01:10
|
|
|
Found an old New Yorker article I though you all might find interesting http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2003/04/21/030421fa_fact_mead?currentPage=all
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2014 00:12
|
|
|
I'm going to Singapore and Taiwan at the end of the year and plan to drop on my knee. Of those two locations, any ideas on which would be the better place to go ring shopping? Prices in Australia are a bit over the top. Or are we best to just stick to online?
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2014 01:02
|
|
|
burnsep posted:Found an old New Yorker article I though you all might find interesting http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2003/04/21/030421fa_fact_mead?currentPage=all It's like "The American Way of Death" for weddings.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2014 01:18
|
|
|
EvilElmo posted:I'm going to Singapore and Taiwan at the end of the year and plan to drop on my knee. I probably need similar advice but for Mainland China (Beijing or Jinan area), the one caveat being that it doesn't have to be a traditional diamond ring necessarily but I want something nice that doesn't tarnish.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2014 02:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 12, 2024 21:11 |
|
|
burnsep posted:Found an old New Yorker article I though you all might find interesting http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2003/04/21/030421fa_fact_mead?currentPage=all I honestly don't understand how David's Bridal stays in business. Literally every bride I've talked to has had only negative experiences with their customer service, and they basically only sell out-of-style strapless dresses that look totally 90s and tacky.
|
|
#
?
Mar 25, 2014 15:36
|
|