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Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!

The MSJ posted:

I like how he drags ET into this.

Now he’s BET.

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zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:

Ariong posted:

Now he’s BET.

Dad?

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Lucky To Be Alive: Harrison Ford Got His Sleeve Caught In His Computer’s Floppy Disk Drive And Was Sucked Into Cyberspace

Surprised they're still doing this genre, but the 'shop made me crack up.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
Things were going well until the Indiana Jones thespian glanced into an adjacent car labeled “Sexy Photos” and noticed it was being driven by a computer program that looked like a pink cube with feminine eyes and lips. Ford began flirting with the cube and tried to seduce it by turning his head into a yellow winky face emoji and blowing a kiss that produced a pixelated red heart, causing the cube to blush and emit the letters “LOL.”

Everyone has more fun than me on the internet :(

susan b buffering
Nov 14, 2016

Selena Gomez Has Been Dropped As Ambassador For The Federal Railroad Administration After Releasing A Song Claiming That Trains Haven’t Been Invented Yet

:allears:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


This Small Business Owner Was About To Declare Bankruptcy. Then He Remembered To Hustle And Grind. Now He Is Billionaire.

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
:hmmyes:

Doctors HATE This! I Used One Weird Trick To Get Covered In Feathers And Fill My Anus With Bees And You Can Too

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin

I Know This Sounds Like Spam, But I Really Did Double My Mass In TWO WEEKS And Now Women Can’t Get Enough Of Me And I’m SCARED

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!

New Psychedelic Weight Loss Drug Transforms Food Into Monstrous Hallucinations

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



lmao of course Kelly has shelves of casettes in his living room

Sulla Faex
May 14, 2010

No man ever did me so much good, or enemy so much harm, but I repaid him with ENDLESS SHITPOSTING

can someone unpack this for me? did billy joel hit the news or something?

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret
I don't think you're missing anything, this just has a bunch of side-angles. I think you can file it under "Kelly being a clueless old man"
-Billy Joel is self-aggrandizing mawkish middlebrow poseur stuff that only white people like me like, so the idea that it would unite world cultures is funny. Piano Man is particularly self-aggrandizing
-those "world cultures" are very Fox News
-the idea that Kelly singing karaoke is powerful, moving, alluring etc. I'm sure many of us have cringed through some variation on the older drunk guy staggering up to the mic and bringing himself to tears singing "my way"

Also I guess there is a side gag that Billy Joel isn't dead.

Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


The heavenly onlooker is almost always alive, like Clarence Thomas with a halo approving of a white man buying an ebony porno magazine.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

pangstrom posted:

I don't think you're missing anything, this just has a bunch of side-angles. I think you can file it under "Kelly being a clueless old man"
-Billy Joel is self-aggrandizing mawkish middlebrow poseur stuff that only white people like me like, so the idea that it would unite world cultures is funny. Piano Man is particularly self-aggrandizing

He's kinda not, though.

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret
Yeah I don't want to debate on that point and turn the thread into a cinema discusso style nightmare, just assumed the actual Kelly cartoonist thinks that about Billy Joel as it's a pretty common opinion and he seems to be using it that way in the cartoon. But not much really changes if it's just "popular old man music" I suppose.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

pangstrom posted:

Yeah I don't want to debate on that point and turn the thread into a cinema discusso style nightmare, just assumed the actual Kelly cartoonist thinks that about Billy Joel as it's a pretty common opinion and he seems to be using it that way in the cartoon. But not much really changes if it's just "popular old man music" I suppose.

I just wanted to point out Billy Joel wants to bash the fash because I find it a remarkably redeeming trait for a dude with his audience demographic, and honestly it just makes the Kelly cartoon even funnier for exactly the reasons you said.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

pangstrom posted:

the idea that Kelly singing karaoke is powerful, moving, alluring etc. I'm sure many of us have cringed through some variation on the older drunk guy staggering up to the mic and bringing himself to tears singing "my way"
Not to mention that Piano Man is one of the most overdone karaoke songs of all time.

Untrustable
Mar 17, 2009





Evil Mastermind posted:

Not to mention that Piano Man is one of the most overdone karaoke songs of all time.

Probably because Billy Joel's vocal talents are poo poo and it's not hard to emulate them even when smashed-rear end drunk.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

I think about this article like once a week

https://sports.theonion.com/great-game-sport-civilization-ruined-by-speaking-of-p-1819572027

pangstrom
Jan 25, 2003

Wedge Regret
that's definitely among my favorites, I think I missed it / some poster in this thread showed it to me.

Double Agent
Mar 28, 2005

Maybe we're not just a bunch of frak-ups after all.
Rahm Emanuel Breaks Ground On New Jason Van Dyke Police Academy

Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


The Saga Continues: J.K. Rowling Has Revealed That After Harry’s Class Graduated, Hagrid Basically Had No Friends Anymore And When He Died It Took People 3 Days To Notice

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004

Hmm.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Welcome To ClickHole’s At-Home Dance Fitness Program! Follow Along To Get Your Groove On!

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Historians Uncover Lost Socrates Dialogues Where He Just Gave Up And Started Screaming That Opponent A loving Brainwashed Shill

Kennel
May 1, 2008

BAWWW-UNH!
Someone post that Roman(?) poet's text about facefucking and sodomizing his opponent.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Catullus 16: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo ("I will sodomize you and face-gently caress you")

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
Son Needs Costume, 30 Individually Wrapped Treats Tomorrow Morning For Some School Celebration

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Krankenstyle posted:

Catullus 16: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo ("I will sodomize you and face-gently caress you")

Note that "irrumare" is a separate verb from "fellare". It was very important to the Romans to convey who was the active partner in oral sex (at least as performed on men).

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

ultrafilter posted:

Note that "irrumare" is a separate verb from "fellare". It was very important to the Romans to convey who was the active partner in oral sex (at least as performed on men).

People called Romans they go the face gently caress?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Seems Unnecessary: The ‘Our Story’ Section On This Family-Owned Vegan Snack Company’s Chip Bags Includes An Anecdote About A Fatal Hit-And-Run They Did In 1998

Horace Kinch
Aug 15, 2007

Biden Pulls Off Dusty Tarp Covering Old Campaign Motorcycle

quote:

“You hear that baby purring into third gear, your vote isn’t the only thing Uncle Joe’s gonna get,” continued Biden.


Diamond Joe's at it again! :allears:

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.
DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

zoux posted:

People called Romanes, they gently caress the face?

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1108760178911035392

fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents

quote:

His mother at a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer's and unable to recognize him; his father adjusting to living by himself without his partner of 50 years and then dying alone; and the devastating task of sorting through his parents' belongings because they were no longer alive to use them were the only confirmed notions swirling in Kauffman's mind when his father asked if anyone had saved room for dessert and his mother said that she would like some coffee.

:smith:

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

https://www.theonion.com/report-nation-secretly-hoping-dads-die-first-1819575819

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Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




more like olddadless :smithicide:

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