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The MSJ posted:I like how he drags ET into this. Now he’s BET.
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Feb 27, 2019 16:41
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Ariong posted:Now he’s BET. Dad?
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Feb 27, 2019 17:12
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Tater Love 
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Lucky To Be Alive: Harrison Ford Got His Sleeve Caught In His Computer’s Floppy Disk Drive And Was Sucked Into Cyberspace Surprised they're still doing this genre, but the 'shop made me crack up.
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Mar 2, 2019 22:20
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Things were going well until the Indiana Jones thespian glanced into an adjacent car labeled “Sexy Photos” and noticed it was being driven by a computer program that looked like a pink cube with feminine eyes and lips. Ford began flirting with the cube and tried to seduce it by turning his head into a yellow winky face emoji and blowing a kiss that produced a pixelated red heart, causing the cube to blush and emit the letters “LOL.” Everyone has more fun than me on the internet 
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Mar 3, 2019 21:19
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Selena Gomez Has Been Dropped As Ambassador For The Federal Railroad Administration After Releasing A Song Claiming That Trains Haven’t Been Invented Yet
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Mar 4, 2019 21:38
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This Small Business Owner Was About To Declare Bankruptcy. Then He Remembered To Hustle And Grind. Now He Is Billionaire.
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Mar 5, 2019 00:46
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 Doctors HATE This! I Used One Weird Trick To Get Covered In Feathers And Fill My Anus With Bees And You Can Too
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Mar 11, 2019 16:36
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New Psychedelic Weight Loss Drug Transforms Food Into Monstrous Hallucinations
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Mar 13, 2019 02:30
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Mar 13, 2019 07:52
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lmao of course Kelly has shelves of casettes in his living room
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Mar 13, 2019 08:27
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can someone unpack this for me? did billy joel hit the news or something?
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Mar 13, 2019 09:17
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I don't think you're missing anything, this just has a bunch of side-angles. I think you can file it under "Kelly being a clueless old man" -Billy Joel is self-aggrandizing mawkish middlebrow poseur stuff that only white people like me like, so the idea that it would unite world cultures is funny. Piano Man is particularly self-aggrandizing -those "world cultures" are very Fox News -the idea that Kelly singing karaoke is powerful, moving, alluring etc. I'm sure many of us have cringed through some variation on the older drunk guy staggering up to the mic and bringing himself to tears singing "my way" Also I guess there is a side gag that Billy Joel isn't dead.
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Mar 13, 2019 18:05
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The heavenly onlooker is almost always alive, like Clarence Thomas with a halo approving of a white man buying an ebony porno magazine.
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Mar 13, 2019 18:31
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pangstrom posted:I don't think you're missing anything, this just has a bunch of side-angles. I think you can file it under "Kelly being a clueless old man" He's kinda not, though.
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Mar 13, 2019 18:48
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Yeah I don't want to debate on that point and turn the thread into a cinema discusso style nightmare, just assumed the actual Kelly cartoonist thinks that about Billy Joel as it's a pretty common opinion and he seems to be using it that way in the cartoon. But not much really changes if it's just "popular old man music" I suppose.
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Mar 13, 2019 18:56
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pangstrom posted:Yeah I don't want to debate on that point and turn the thread into a cinema discusso style nightmare, just assumed the actual Kelly cartoonist thinks that about Billy Joel as it's a pretty common opinion and he seems to be using it that way in the cartoon. But not much really changes if it's just "popular old man music" I suppose. I just wanted to point out Billy Joel wants to bash the fash because I find it a remarkably redeeming trait for a dude with his audience demographic, and honestly it just makes the Kelly cartoon even funnier for exactly the reasons you said.
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Mar 13, 2019 18:58
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pangstrom posted:the idea that Kelly singing karaoke is powerful, moving, alluring etc. I'm sure many of us have cringed through some variation on the older drunk guy staggering up to the mic and bringing himself to tears singing "my way"
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Mar 14, 2019 03:35
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Evil Mastermind posted:Not to mention that Piano Man is one of the most overdone karaoke songs of all time. Probably because Billy Joel's vocal talents are poo poo and it's not hard to emulate them even when smashed-rear end drunk.
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Mar 15, 2019 13:52
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I think about this article like once a week https://sports.theonion.com/great-game-sport-civilization-ruined-by-speaking-of-p-1819572027
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Mar 15, 2019 15:36
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that's definitely among my favorites, I think I missed it / some poster in this thread showed it to me.
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Mar 15, 2019 15:38
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Rahm Emanuel Breaks Ground On New Jason Van Dyke Police Academy
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Mar 15, 2019 18:59
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The Saga Continues: J.K. Rowling Has Revealed That After Harry’s Class Graduated, Hagrid Basically Had No Friends Anymore And When He Died It Took People 3 Days To Notice
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Mar 17, 2019 11:14
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Mar 17, 2019 13:35
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Hmm.
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Mar 17, 2019 21:25
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Welcome To ClickHole’s At-Home Dance Fitness Program! Follow Along To Get Your Groove On!
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Mar 18, 2019 17:39
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Historians Uncover Lost Socrates Dialogues Where He Just Gave Up And Started Screaming That Opponent A loving Brainwashed Shill
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Mar 20, 2019 15:09
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Someone post that Roman(?) poet's text about facefucking and sodomizing his opponent.
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Mar 20, 2019 15:16
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Catullus 16: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo ("I will sodomize you and face-gently caress you")
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Mar 20, 2019 18:23
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Son Needs Costume, 30 Individually Wrapped Treats Tomorrow Morning For Some School Celebration
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Mar 20, 2019 18:46
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Krankenstyle posted:Catullus 16: Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo ("I will sodomize you and face-gently caress you") Note that "irrumare" is a separate verb from "fellare". It was very important to the Romans to convey who was the active partner in oral sex (at least as performed on men).
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Mar 20, 2019 19:02
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ultrafilter posted:Note that "irrumare" is a separate verb from "fellare". It was very important to the Romans to convey who was the active partner in oral sex (at least as performed on men). People called Romans they go the face gently caress?
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Mar 20, 2019 21:48
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Seems Unnecessary: The ‘Our Story’ Section On This Family-Owned Vegan Snack Company’s Chip Bags Includes An Anecdote About A Fatal Hit-And-Run They Did In 1998
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Mar 21, 2019 15:16
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Biden Pulls Off Dusty Tarp Covering Old Campaign Motorcyclequote:“You hear that baby purring into third gear, your vote isn’t the only thing Uncle Joe’s gonna get,” continued Biden. Diamond Joe's at it again!
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Mar 21, 2019 18:51
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DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators
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Mar 21, 2019 20:21
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zoux posted:People called Romanes, they gently caress the face?
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Mar 21, 2019 20:34
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https://twitter.com/ClickHole/status/1108760178911035392
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Mar 22, 2019 15:29
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'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parentsquote:His mother at a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer's and unable to recognize him; his father adjusting to living by himself without his partner of 50 years and then dying alone; and the devastating task of sorting through his parents' belongings because they were no longer alive to use them were the only confirmed notions swirling in Kauffman's mind when his father asked if anyone had saved room for dessert and his mother said that she would like some coffee. 
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Mar 24, 2019 04:33
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https://www.theonion.com/report-nation-secretly-hoping-dads-die-first-1819575819
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Mar 26, 2019 07:46
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oldpainless posted:https://www.theonion.com/report-nation-secretly-hoping-dads-die-first-1819575819 more like olddadless 
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Mar 26, 2019 11:54
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