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Sex Robot
Jan 11, 2011

Nothing amazing happens here.
Everything is ordinary.

Daniel Bryan posted:

pro wrestling is fake

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oatgan
Jan 15, 2009

Chris James 2 posted:

Damien Sandow is currently WWE's version of the Cubs

and john cena is his bartman

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Jr's new blog has his opinion on Lesnar and Summerslam

I'd book Lesnar to headline Summer Slam in Los Angeles and build the card around him. Yes, I'm prepared for the onset of knee jerkers who will say that Brock is part time and that part time talents are efficient. I don't concur and think that overexposure is running rampant in the wrestling biz and Lesnar certainly isn't over exposed. The WWE World Champion doesn't need to be on every TV or at every live event. That concept is antiquated.

If some fans feel that this may be too predicable, then perhaps some are over thinking a pro wrestling storyline that makes sense. Making sense when executing a story line is much more important than doing the unpredictably stupid moves to just 'surprise' he audience. Don't get me wrong, I love a good pro wrestling surprise as much as the next fan but NOT at the expense of doing the right thing.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

My F4W account expires tomorrow and they just sent me my password in plain text along with a nag to get me to reregister. What the gently caress? I'm not giving them money now.

Sigma
Aug 24, 2003

...
Grimey Drawer

I've taken to linking people to this when they say something that dumb:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-iconic-movie-scenes-were-actually-fake-201

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

sticklefifer posted:

John Cena is wrestling tofu: he absorbs the flavors of whatever he's mixed with. If he's with a good worker it's a good match, if he's with a poo poo worker it's a poo poo match. He's not like HBK or Flair who can drag a paper bag to at least a 3-star match.


John Cena is wrestling hoisin sauce or sweet garlic hoisin sauce in that anything it's put in tastes like hoisin sauce or sweet garlic hoisin sauce but that's ok cuz that poo poo is great.

TEGGS
Nov 21, 2004

Spoony Bard!

Ragnarok the Red posted:

Kane's still in a suit. THE DEMON KANE is a completely different entity.

I now want the mask to get split in half so he comes out as half Korporate Kane and half DEMON KANE.

NienNunb
Feb 15, 2012

sticklefifer posted:

John Cena is wrestling tofu: he absorbs the flavors of whatever he's mixed with. If he's with a good worker it's a good match, if he's with a poo poo worker it's a poo poo match. He's not like HBK or Flair who can drag a paper bag to at least a 3-star match.



John Cena is wrestling Fruity Pebbles.

#Boots2Asses

JT Smiley
Mar 3, 2006
Thats whats up!

MassRafTer posted:

Sure John Cena wrestles classic matches and spends his own money to comfort dying children but the man wins too much. I don't like a winner. I was born a Cubs fan and I'll die a Cubs fan.

John Cena is Bono.

TEGGS
Nov 21, 2004

Spoony Bard!
I can't remember but has anyone other than Seth been put into Briefcase match yet?

Right now, I feel like he's going to win if Cena wins the belt then cash in the same night, thus giving him his heel turn payoff.

Valeyard
Mar 30, 2012


Grimey Drawer
Am I being trolled by people who think that Seth Rollins or Bray Wyatt is going to win the title in the immediate future

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
I'm a fan of Brock getting the belt off Cena but what happens to Bray, who does he feud with?

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


It's so cute when people think WWE considers long-term plans for anybody but Cena

Look at how hosed they get when he's injured, and realize when the current champ gets injured they immediately go back to focusing on Cena

Daniel Bryan
May 23, 2006

GOAT

Supreme Allah posted:

I'm a fan of Brock getting the belt off Cena but what happens to Bray, who does he feud with?

It's a shameful thing, you've lost your head. A careless man who could wind up dead!

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008

Valeyard posted:

Am I being trolled by people who think that Seth Rollins or Bray Wyatt is going to win the title in the immediate future
Seth Rollins winning would open up a lot of story possibilities.

Daniel Bryan
May 23, 2006

GOAT
Whoever is winning the title at Money in the Bank is probably losing it to Brock so just think of who would be damaged least by that and you've really only got like one option.

Cardboard Box
Jul 14, 2009

without Bryan I think Seth Rollins is probably the best candidate for champion at this point.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
Cryme Tyme are reunited in the indies. :)

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Daniel Bryan posted:

Whoever is winning the title at Money in the Bank is probably losing it to Brock so just think of who would be damaged least by that and you've really only got like one option.

The Demon Kane?

Jay 2K Winger
Oct 10, 2007

What are you looking for?
Someone vandalized Wikipedia's page for Bo-livia. It's already been undone, but you can still view the old page.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Daniel Bryan posted:

It's a shameful thing, you've lost your head. A careless man who could wind up dead!

I will watch the hell out of those matches.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Valeyard posted:

Am I being trolled by people who think that Seth Rollins or Bray Wyatt is going to win the title in the immediate future

People shouldn't want anyone they like to have a belt anyway

History has shown us that it's one of the quickest ways to jobber status for most wrestlers

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Daniel Bryan posted:

It's a shameful thing, you've lost your head. A careless man who could wind up dead!

You know, Bray does wear his sin like it's some kind of prize. And he tells too many lies. Too many lies.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

WWE will not put the belt on Lesnar. EVER. This isn't a matter of the champ not being at every live event and on every Raw despite what JR thinks, it's a matter of the belts being off TV AND undefended on PPV for 6 months or Brock's title reign being one month long when he drops it at the next PPV. Lesnar's contract structure allows for no other option.

Unless a meteor drops from the sky and conks Lesnar on the head so he forgets that he's content to wrestle 5 matches a year and he full-times it for a while like Stone Cold suggested, he will never be Champion again. And Brock's head would probably prove stronger than the meteor anyway.

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.
Just have him drop the title to Abeyance.

Glamorama26
Sep 14, 2011

All it comes down to is this: I feel like shit, but look great.

Codependent Poster posted:

You know, Bray does wear his sin like it's some kind of prize. And he tells too many lies. Too many lies.

Sheamus' new gimmick should be him just yelling the lyrics of his theme song at people. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh" specifically.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost
It's a real shame they couldn't add a half dozen appearances to Brocks contract if they wanted, since contracts have never been modified ever.

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

Supreme Allah posted:

It's a real shame they couldn't add a half dozen appearances to Brocks contract if they wanted, since contracts have never been modified ever.

I'm sure they're in a big hurry to gently caress around with the contract of one of the few guys to take them on in court over contracts and win.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost

fatherdog posted:

I'm sure they're in a big hurry to gently caress around with the contract of one of the few guys to take them on in court over contracts and win.

I'm not suggesting they sneak it in there.

sticklefifer
Nov 11, 2003

by VideoGames
So they're booking towards Rollins winning MITB and Reigns winning the belt so the PPV can end with The Shield reunited as a long con to get themselves a bunch of title opportunities, right?

Also Punk will return as an authority figure for Raw named GM Punk.

Sanguinia
Jan 1, 2012

~Everybody wants to be a cat~
~Because a cat's the only cat~
~Who knows where its at~

Supreme Allah posted:

I'm not suggesting they sneak it in there.

You're assuming Brock WANTS a few extra dates in his contract, which is a HUGE assumption. He's getting a LOT of money to tread water, and the amount he might want to do more than that could very easily be economically non-viable. And that further assumes there is ANY amount of money he wants to wrestle more, he may simply be unwilling to do it period.

Remember what Heyman said to Stone Cold, Lesnar only cares about "The Superfight," at this point in his career. He wants himself set up like a Tyson/Mayweather style champion who only wrestle's hand-picked "worthy opponents," and only actually fights months and months apart because that's the level he's on. You can't have the WWE Champion be booked like that, "you should always be asking where Brock is when he's no on screen," does not work for the main singles title.

More dates is the ONLY way Brock can be champion, and I think anyone betting on Brock getting more dates is burning their money.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


At a time when they aren't making as much money off the Network or their movies division as they want to be, do you really suggest they hand over more millions of dollars to Brock? Because giving him more millions is the only way he agrees to more dates.

Supreme Allah
Oct 6, 2004

everybody relax, i'm here
Nap Ghost

Chris James 2 posted:

At a time when they aren't making as much money off the Network or their movies division as they want to be, do you really suggest they hand over more millions of dollars to Brock? Because giving him more millions is the only way he agrees to more dates.

I'm not suggesting one way or the other, my point is that they have that option, so his current agreement isn't any sort of restriction on putting the belt on him. I don't care if they do it or not.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Just imagine how many more dates Vince could have bought if he hadn't lost 350 million dollars recently.

Scruffy the janitor
Dec 31, 2007

A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld
I wish they had stuck with the idea of Cesaro winning the briefcase. Could you imagine Heyman's face when he cashed in on Lesnar? I don't get why he's in the title match and not the mitb.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!
Brock loves lots of money and if WWE is willing to pay him lots of money he'll add some dates.

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

It was like she was evicting walking garbage.
Pillbug

Scruffy the janitor posted:

I wish they had stuck with the idea of Cesaro winning the briefcase. Could you imagine Heyman's face when he cashed in on Lesnar? I don't get why he's in the title match and not the mitb.

Switch it up, put Brock in the briefcase match :getin:

Scruffy the janitor
Dec 31, 2007

A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld
Was Brock ever in any ladder matches? I feel like that's something I need to see now.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Scruffy the janitor posted:

Was Brock ever in any ladder matches? I feel like that's something I need to see now.

It... My god, the... ugh. I never want to see anything that cruel again. I'm so glad they erased all footage of it.

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Scruffy the janitor
Dec 31, 2007

A greater tragedy my eyes have never beheld

Luigi Thirty posted:

It... My god, the... ugh. I never want to see anything that cruel again. I'm so glad they erased all footage of it.

Ha I don't know how I forgot about that match...yeah.

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