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I've noticed my existential crises map pretty 1:1 with stressful days or lovely meals, so that's kind of nice. I can't discount everything, but I can be pretty sure it's just me being anxious. I've been mulling over what makes me most comfortable right now and I think I'm going to convert the relationships I'm in into platonics or ones where you can make out but it's NBD. I can smell the desperation on me. Desperate for what? I dunno. I need a while to crave sex again, because I'm just craving handholding and cuddling. I've survived some poo poo and while I'm not sure if I am turned off from sex, I just like the idea of affection way more. I mean, the whole sweaty part is great but if I'm freaking out every time I go to bat I got to reconcile. I'm looking at it as a personal growth thing and not a hopeless void though!
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Jan 23, 2018 06:48
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Progressive JPEG posted:lol if nearly every hotel doesn't ask if you want two beds just lol OMG, I got this one for the first time in Reno of all places. We checked in and the girl at the desk asked and we were so taken aback that we just kinda stared agape until she went and got the keys to the king room we booked.
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Jan 23, 2018 06:55
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cis autodrag posted:Do you get asked if you're splitting the check every time you go out for dinner too? That poo poo drives me crazy. Waiter will watch you hold hands and still ask like they need to let you know you're violating their norms. they ask my obviously married old parents that though too, i think it's just a thing waiters do 
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Jan 23, 2018 07:28
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Krakox posted:I've noticed my existential crises map pretty 1:1 with stressful days or lovely meals, so that's kind of nice. I can't discount everything, but I can be pretty sure it's just me being anxious. i'm not saying this is what you're doing or anything, but you're kinda reminding me of myself when i was at my most sadbrains / anxietybrains (?), in that i'd be all "look i've identified what my issues are and have worked out simple explanations for all of them and therefore it's basically a solved problem because it's just me being [x] and all i have to do is not [x]!" then i'd proceed to not fix the problem because duh, and my psychologist would just be all "yeah if it were that easy i wouldn't have a job" just somethin' to consider is all
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Jan 23, 2018 07:34
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Progressive JPEG posted:lol if nearly every hotel doesn't ask if you want two beds just lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzKNQH3Unwo
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Jan 23, 2018 07:36
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lol, this is like half good ideas and half kinda offensive, but given the age it's pretty ahead of its time.
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Jan 23, 2018 07:52
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ate all the Oreos posted:they ask my obviously married old parents that though too, i think it's just a thing waiters do Yeah I don't think you should read too much into this specific thing. Even people in a relationship want to split the bill sometimes.
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Jan 23, 2018 08:17
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Waiters do assume things though like my dad would always order red wine and my stepmom would order beer and when they would come out to bring the drinks they would get it wrong 9 times out of 10 and switch them.
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Jan 23, 2018 08:19
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cis autodrag posted:What are you doing Generally, I tell her about my week, she tells me about mine, then I whip out my tablet and show her stupid poo poo on the internet that I think she'll enjoy because she doesn't run around the same parts of the web as me. I will occasionally tease her by using her head as an arm rest (I'm 6'5" and she's like 5'4") or messing up her hair.
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Jan 23, 2018 17:27
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Generally, I tell her about my week, she tells me about mine, then I whip out my tablet and show her stupid poo poo on the internet that I think she'll enjoy because she doesn't run around the same parts of the web as me. I will occasionally tease her by using her head as an arm rest (I'm 6'5" and she's like 5'4") or messing up her hair. outstanding tenderness and humanity 
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Jan 23, 2018 17:51
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Helianthus Annuus posted:outstanding tenderness and humanity I'm an rear end, yes. Thanks.
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Jan 23, 2018 17:55
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Avenging_Mikon posted:I'm an rear end, yes. Thanks. sry i was being sincere to clarify: i genuinely think it's great that you take your mom out and spend time with her
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Jan 23, 2018 18:14
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Helianthus Annuus posted:sry i was being sincere Oh. Sorry, I'm defensive. I don't always have the greatest relationship with my mom (she's getting more religious as she gets older, but also getting her bipolar better managed. What you gain on the swings you lose on the roundabouts), so... um...anyways, I'm defensive.
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Jan 23, 2018 18:17
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spankmeister posted:Yeah I don't think you should read too much into this specific thing. Even people in a relationship want to split the bill sometimes. I have my reasoning though. I've been with the same partner for almost 10 years and for the first 7 of those we were never asked of we wanted to split the check. Suddenly once I presented female they ask every time. It feels like a microaggression to me, but I'm not telling anyone else they have to feel that way. But it definitely bothers me because people police my gender presentation in all sorts of subtle ways like that.
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Jan 23, 2018 18:18
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Oh. Sorry, I'm defensive. I don't always have the greatest relationship with my mom (she's getting more religious as she gets older, but also getting her bipolar better managed. What you gain on the swings you lose on the roundabouts), so... um...anyways, I'm defensive. sounds like my mother-in-law is on the same track as your mom. it's not always easy. i've had a couple meltdowns IRL when she says something like "college students should have guns in classrooms". she's on that fox news poo poo and my wife is an outspoken feminist, so lately they've been fighting about that with the #metoo stuff coming out anyway good on you for keeping that relationship going in spite of the difficulties edit: to further clarify, i will never make a hostile post in this thread. all my posts in here come from a place of love, even if some come from a place of ignorance. Helianthus Annuus fucked around with this message at 18:44 on Jan 23, 2018 |
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Jan 23, 2018 18:24
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Helianthus Annuus posted:edit: to further clarify, i will never make a hostile post in this thread. all my posts in here come from a place of love, even if some come from a place of ignorance. this thread is a blessing.
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Jan 23, 2018 18:52
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cis autodrag posted:I have my reasoning though. I've been with the same partner for almost 10 years and for the first 7 of those we were never asked of we wanted to split the check. Suddenly once I presented female they ask every time. It feels like a microaggression to me, but I'm not telling anyone else they have to feel that way. But it definitely bothers me because people police my gender presentation in all sorts of subtle ways like that. idk, who gives a poo poo about what other people say, do, or think. it's your life, live however you'd like and gently caress everyone else. life is much easier when you don't give a gently caress about other people's opinions and are content with who you are as a person. assuming microaggressions from waitstaff who are used to people splitting bills (since everyone goes dutch nowadays especially compared to 5-10 years ago) strikes me as a tad of a silly stance especially since they have no idea how long you and your partner have been together and they probably just want to go outside and have a cigarette sooner that being said i've never walked in your shoes before so i have no idea what it's like, but that's my naive hot take on the issue 
FAT32 SHAMER fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Jan 23, 2018 |
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Jan 23, 2018 19:06
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Helianthus Annuus posted:sounds like my mother-in-law is on the same track as your mom. it's not always easy. i've had a couple meltdowns IRL when she says something like "college students should have guns in classrooms". she's on that fox news poo poo Helianthus Annuus posted:edit: to further clarify, i will never make a hostile post in this thread. all my posts in here come from a place of love, even if some come from a place of ignorance. 
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Jan 23, 2018 19:09
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cis autodrag posted:I have my reasoning though. I've been with the same partner for almost 10 years and for the first 7 of those we were never asked of we wanted to split the check. Suddenly once I presented female they ask every time. It feels like a microaggression to me, but I'm not telling anyone else they have to feel that way. But it definitely bothers me because people police my gender presentation in all sorts of subtle ways like that. i definitely think you're onto something, because i'm only ever asked to split the check when i'm with friends, never when i'm with my significant-other my guess is that some peoples heuristics for determining whether a couple is dating are behind the times. trying to be charitable here, i know you said you're giving very obvious outward signs. but i don't think most waiters would intentionally do something just to piss you off. on the other hand, i don't think most waiters want to spend more cognitive energy on your table than is absolutely necessary, hence the lovely heuristic. i can see why it hurts though, because it's implicitly not recognizing your relationship as legitimate. if you're not tired of my suggestions yet: what happens when you pay with cash, and have the cash on the table when you ask for the check?
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Jan 23, 2018 19:14
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:idk, who gives a poo poo about what other people say, do, or think. it's your life, live however you'd like and gently caress everyone else. a real common theme in this thread is people suffering from alienation, often because of a move to a new area, away from old friends. not being accepted and understood by other people compounds this further part of having a full life is being accepted and understood by others, and its an easy thing to take for granted so my counterpoint: never stop trying to make meaningful connections with others, even when it hurts. theres a social dimension to every part of our lives, and you neglect it at your own peril Helianthus Annuus fucked around with this message at 19:24 on Jan 23, 2018 |
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Jan 23, 2018 19:21
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Helianthus Annuus posted:a real common theme in this thread is people suffering from alienation, often because of a move to a new area, away from old friends. not being accepted and understood by other people compounds this further that’s a really good point, thanks for reminding me of this 
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Jan 23, 2018 19:25
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Helianthus Annuus posted:i definitely think you're onto something, because i'm only ever asked to split the check when i'm with friends, never when i'm with my significant-other We usually hand them a card when we're ready to pay rather than wait for a bill, and they almost always turn to whoever didn't hand them a card to ask for theirs too.
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Jan 23, 2018 19:27
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cis autodrag posted:We usually hand them a card when we're ready to pay rather than wait for a bill, and they almost always turn to whoever didn't hand them a card to ask for theirs too. That's completely hosed up. I can see exactly why it gets you upset. The entire point of getting the card(s) out is to signal the method of payment.
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Jan 23, 2018 21:56
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cis autodrag posted:We usually hand them a card when we're ready to pay rather than wait for a bill wait you can do this? why didn't i ever think of doing this, fuckin' life hacks 
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Jan 23, 2018 22:02
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:idk, who gives a poo poo about what other people say, do, or think. it's your life, live however you'd like and gently caress everyone else. Deffo agree that life is easier if you can not care but that is not quite as easy to learn Helianthus Annuus posted:part of having a full life is being accepted and understood by others, and its an easy thing to take for granted And I think this is ingrained in most people so it makes it extra hard not to give a gently caress, well at least for me There was one time when I was getting some candy for a road trip cause I wanted to treat myself. I had a fun weekend ahead and wanted to kick it off right. To preface this, I'm fat, not incredibly so but its not healthy. The cashier made a comment similar to "Do you really need that?" and I didn't hear her so I went "what?" and she loving repeated it. Now, it didn't stick with me or ruin my day but it still didn't feel great. People can be assholes and when you know that, its hard to not be on guard.
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Jan 23, 2018 22:52
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ate all the Oreos posted:wait you can do this? why didn't i ever think of doing this, fuckin' life hacks Yeah. In Wisconsin they usually bring you the bill halfway through the entree it where I live now it can take ages to get the check but if you hand them a card they will run it right away. Very useful. You all are a hetero couple right? It'd be interesting to cross reference different situations we've been in to see how people react to gay vs straight couples with a trans person.
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Jan 23, 2018 23:04
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btw hi everyone! I'm pan/bi/queer but def not straight. I had some questioning times with gender but its never been a huge concern for me. I say I'm cis male but probably more agender than anything. I just don't ~feel~ my gender too much I guess. I dunno its weird but I'm okay with not giving it much more thought for the time being This thread is great and I think all of you are great
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Jan 23, 2018 23:04
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macintoshplusplus posted:btw hi everyone! I'm pan/bi/queer but def not straight. I had some questioning times with gender but its never been a huge concern for me. I say I'm cis male but probably more agender than anything. I just don't ~feel~ my gender too much I guess. I dunno its weird but I'm okay with not giving it much more thought for the time being Hi, welcome!
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Jan 23, 2018 23:07
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cis autodrag posted:Yeah. In Wisconsin they usually bring you the bill halfway through the entree it where I live now it can take ages to get the check but if you hand them a card they will run it right away. Very useful. i think you may have tapped onto something that lesbians experience more than just transwomen. an ex of mine was married to a woman for three years before we dated, and I seem to recall she had the same complaints. i'll ask a few other lesbian couples i know to see if they get the same treatment. similarly, i'll be out with women friends (cis or otherwise) and they'll typically just bring one check, but if i'm out with another guy (date or not) they'll default to asking if we want to split. e: after talking with two cis and one trans lesbian friends they all get the split check question. so i don't think it's so much that transphobic micoraggressions are taking place, but rather people assuming that two people of the same gender aren't a couple. more anti-gay than anti-trans, but it does happen to people i know as well. you're not alone in this. Mr. Nice! fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jan 23, 2018 |
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Jan 23, 2018 23:08
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love to play pubg with pan people
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Jan 23, 2018 23:58
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every time i am out with friends the waiters always bring one check presumably because they either think we're in a six-way polyamorous pansexual relationship OR possibly because the waiter is lazy.
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Jan 24, 2018 03:09
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https://twitter.com/TheAnarchoRaver/status/955581442750386177 laffo
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Jan 24, 2018 03:19
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i'd go to that show in a second
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Jan 24, 2018 15:58
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ow my boobs hurt. I guess thats good because they're still actively growing? Ow tho.
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Jan 25, 2018 01:50
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Synthbuttrange posted:ow my boobs hurt. Sometimes boobs just hurt for no reason. Ain't it grand?
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Jan 25, 2018 03:09
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cis autodrag posted:Sometimes boobs just hurt for no reason. Ain't it grand? i've only been on e for like 8 months and mostly only at 2mg so not yet they ain't 
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Jan 25, 2018 03:11
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UberJew posted:i've only been on e for like 8 months and mostly only at 2mg so not yet they ain't Are you tiny? I was at 5mg by then. What's your Spiro dose?
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Jan 25, 2018 03:15
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cis autodrag posted:Are you tiny? I was at 5mg by then. What's your Spiro dose? 200mg, and I'm quite large but I don't actually have an endo, just a PA who is being very cautious (and also medi-cal will not cover blood tests for t or e levels so we're shooting in the dark) and excessively worried about fatty liver b/c of elevated enzymes b/c i'm fat
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Jan 25, 2018 03:55
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lobster dating status: had a third date, got sushi, still great (the dude i'm dating) this has been lobster dating status
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Jan 25, 2018 03:58
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UberJew posted:200mg, and I'm quite large but I don't actually have an endo, just a PA who is being very cautious (and also medi-cal will not cover blood tests for t or e levels so we're shooting in the dark) and excessively worried about fatty liver b/c of elevated enzymes b/c i'm fat you could always try getting a lab slip and then let the lab know you are paying cash. i've done that for other tests since i have the "don't get sick" insurance plan and most places have reasonable cash prices and payment options.
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