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Sexist changing table practices are common throughout the US. I was shocked how common it is in the Bay Area. Husband gets 12 paid weeks of paternity leave at 100% pay? So progressive! But not progressive enough to save him from running down a busy street with a poo covered baby, frantically checking every store and restaurant until some teenager in Baby Gap took pity and let him use the women's room.
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Sep 28, 2016 15:57
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GlyphGryph posted:I think it's more of a "Florida" thing, most of bathrooms with changing tables have them the family&handicapped bathroom or both the men's and women's room. I know someone that would change their kid on their table if a restaurant hadn't installed a change table
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Sep 28, 2016 16:16
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Pretty sure I just used the floor in the restroom. Baby isn't going to know the difference.
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Sep 28, 2016 16:46
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In other news, my 20-month year old has started saying thank you whenever we give him something he wants. It's super adorable. Well, actually he says more like "daet doo" since he's not so great on the words yet, but it's consistent and obvious that it's what he's trying to say. This is really just the best time. Everything he does, all the time, is adorable. He's always trying to help with stuff, he likes putting things away, he has his stuffed animals wave to each other and he needs to be allowed to give his dinosaur a kiss before he's willing to go to sleep. He flops around in the ball pit we put together for him like a fish until he manages to catch a ball in his mouth, then he'll climb out and pop it into our lap before going back and trying to get more, and he says hello and bye-bye to every person he meets and every car that passes by on the street. He's signing and singing along with our songs in the most delightful way. He's constantly exploring and building and he's just so happy all the time. It's just... this is what has made everything worth it. This... isn't going to last, is it? This miraculous, beautiful time is just some sinister calm before the storm of these "terrible twos" I've heard of, isn't it? Someone lie to me and tell me this stage lasts forever, please, except he gets bigger.
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Sep 28, 2016 17:01
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Two - Four is a bit poo poo. We're rounding the end of it. Our almost 4 year old is great, she says when she's angry or annoyed rather than acting out which helps. She's at an amazingly cute stage, where she'll run and give me a cuddle before work. Or say that she missed me when I was at work. I don't want this stage to end. She also said I was embarrassing. I'm so happy. This is the first embarrassment of many, my dear.
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Sep 28, 2016 17:08
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Oodles posted:We're rounding the end of it. Our almost 4 year old is great, she says when she's angry or annoyed rather than acting out which helps. She's at an amazingly cute stage, where she'll run and give me a cuddle before work. Or say that she missed me when I was at work. I don't want this stage to end. Well, if we go back to being adorable again in just a year and a half, I suppose that's survivable and worth the price. And now I get to look forward to my own first embarrassment, never thought about that one before.
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Sep 28, 2016 17:13
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GlyphGryph posted:
"Wow, member how annoying he was at 2? Hah! How he would lie on the floor screaming for 30 minutes while we had breakfast? And at 3 how he would scream-cry he was hungry but still refused to eat? Wtf was up with that!?"
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Sep 28, 2016 18:03
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"Mommy I'm huuuuungry" "Ok! Dinner is almost ready! Go sit at the table and I'll bring you a plate in a few minutes!" "I DONT WANT DINNER IM HUNGRY!! AUGHGHGHHRHAJHRJAHRAHPOKPKlkfk[ph[hpppppp" yes he knows what "dinner" is
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Sep 28, 2016 18:21
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Two and a half - threatens to throw some object he's using if he doesn't get his way. (Spoon, last time.) Doesn't get his way. Throws spoon. Immediately shattered because doesn't have spoon. Demands spoon back. Is reminded to ask nicely if he wants help. Asks nicely while tears flow. Gets help to recover spoon. Immediately back to happy normal state, duration of tantrum less than one minute. This happens several times daily, in variations.
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Sep 28, 2016 18:30
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A friend would try to tell me the usual about how at that age they're still learning how to deal with their feelings. I knew that, but laughingly said that hungry -> eat was one of the most basic survival instincts! Crying he was hungry while refusing to eat food being held half an inch from his mouth 
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Sep 28, 2016 18:29
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Groke posted:Two and a half - threatens to throw some object he's using if he doesn't get his way. (Spoon, last time.) Doesn't get his way. Throws spoon. Immediately shattered because doesn't have spoon. Demands spoon back. Is reminded to ask nicely if he wants help. Asks nicely while tears flow. Gets help to recover spoon. Immediately back to happy normal state, duration of tantrum less than one minute. This happens several times daily, in variations. Where's the psyduck emote that just keeps getting bigger and bigger because I just imagined that while reading this. Also, this is my 2 year old as well.
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Sep 28, 2016 19:25
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When does the "eww boys" phase happen with girls? Looks forward to her not just playing with the boy who pushes over other kids.
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Sep 28, 2016 19:35
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Lately, my 2 year old loves to throw things just so she can put herself into a time out. Sometime she'll fling her food/drink/toys across the room, make an obviously fake upset face, then tell me it's time for a timeout. She'll sit in timeout for a few minutes, stand up, and start laying on the charm. "I really sorry, Mommy. Hug please?! Kiss please?!" until she pummels me with affection. So hard to keep a straight face. I think she's doing it just to get cuddles.
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Sep 28, 2016 19:43
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Oodles posted:When does the "eww boys" phase happen with girls? Looks forward to her not just playing with the boy who pushes over other kids. Sometimes I wonder if this is a cultural / learned thing. I I always had male friends. My best friend was a boy until we moved to another state. I never hit an "eww boys" stage, but when puberty hit it was more "augh I'm so awkward! I can't be around boys!'
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Sep 28, 2016 23:38
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Yeah my oldest daughter never went through an "ew boys" phase. Even now, at thirteen, she hangs out with guys at school because the boys there are the ones doing the things she's interested in, like sports and science and computer stuff (and being loud and obnoxious and gross). She's well aware that many of her peers are dating, and even has had some of her guy friends show interest in her, but she's just not into the whole relationship thing yet (which is a HUGE relief to me). My younger daughter is a bit more traditionally girly than the oldest, but her BFF is a boy named Max. They've bonded over their shared obsession with cats.
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Sep 29, 2016 12:46
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Infants: surrounded by toys on all sides... plays with the burp cloth
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Sep 29, 2016 15:32
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Fyi, magnificent baby, makers of children's clothing with magnetic buttons is having a 50% off sale today only. The magnetic buttons are a loving life saver let me tell you.
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Sep 29, 2016 15:34
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all rear end no class posted:Infants: surrounded by toys on all sides... plays with the burp cloth Toddler: Surrounded by toys on all sides... plays with blinds cord (after dad tries to hide it) and remote controls.
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Sep 29, 2016 15:47
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WTF BEES posted:Toddler: Surrounded by toys on all sides... plays with blinds cord (after dad tries to hide it) and remote controls. Preschooler: Surrounded by toys on all sides... plays with the baby's burp cloth
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Sep 29, 2016 16:29
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@1,@2,@3,@4: Surrounded by toys on all sides... has to play with exactly whatever the other kid chose to play with.
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Sep 29, 2016 16:49
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Speaking of preschoolers: how do you handle tantrums in a store? The grocery store I was at this morning has some very narrow checkout lanes (they're too narrow for an adult and a cart to both pass), and to keep my 4-year-old from running out ahead of the cart, I asked him "walk behind, not next to", which is the usual way I phrase "walk behind the cart, not holding onto the side." He said "why?" I said "so you're not in the way." He said "but why?" and I said "please walk behind, not next to." He started scooting towards the front of the cart, so I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him behind the cart. His response was to start hitting me (I was holding his left shoulder with my right hand; he used his right hand to hit my right arm), so I let go of his shoulder and grabbed both his wrists with my right hand, so that he stopped hitting me (and didn't hit his brother, whom I was wearing on my back.) He began to yell "stop holding me, stop holding me, I don't like it that you're holding me, I hate that you hold me," etc, over and over again. In fact, he kept it up even after I had let go of him so I could pay and put the grocery bags back into the cart, and he kept it up all the way out of the store, until he started coughing, presumably because he had been yelling for heaven knows how long. Obviously I didn't handle that well, but I'm not sure what I should have done differently.
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Sep 29, 2016 18:45
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GlyphGryph posted:This... isn't going to last, is it? I don't have to lie, this parenting thing gets more and more awesome the bigger my kid gets. Sure there are challenges with every stage, but being able to actually communicate with my daughter is the key to everything being so much more manageable (for me, anyway, I know other people love the baby stage and find the 2-4 year stage hell on earth). She turned three this summer, and she just keps getting cooler and more fun to be around. She's an actual proper person with thoughts, ideas, feelings, observations, needs and desires, and helping her learn how to express herself, process her feelings and dealing with, well, basically life, is such a privilege, despite the frequent meltdowns over the weirdest things. And having a tiny person around who'll hum the Imperial March to herself while colouring in Disney princesses and adding light sabers to their hands quite simply brightens up my life in general  Speaking of which - we're moving! Holy crap, this was totally unexpected, but apparently we bought our dream apartment yesterday (which in Oslos current housing market is the biggest miracle this side of the Immaculate Conception). Anyone have experience with moving with a three year old? We're still living in the same city, but it'll be a new neighborhood, and she'll be starting in a new kindergarten. We'll be visiting the neighborhood a lot, and we've looked at pictures of her new room, which luckily is bigger and cooler (it has a tiny built in galleried loft! (hems!)), and the rest of the apartment, and we'll ask the owners if we can visit so she can look around before the actual take-over, which isn't until January, so we have three months to prepare her before the actual move. We're talking up the new room as her big girl room, since being a big girl is super important and a great source of pride for her, and the new apartment has a buch of awesome features, so I'm sure that part of the move will go well, but is there anything we should/shouldn't be doing with regards to preparing her for leaving the only kindergarten she's attended, and the only neighborhood she's lived in, for a new kindergarten with new kids and new adults? It's the only move we're expecting to make for a very long time, so while it's of course going to be a big transition, it's not going to happen again any time soon. Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 20:54 on Sep 29, 2016 |
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Sep 29, 2016 20:50
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zonohedron posted:Speaking of preschoolers: how do you handle tantrums in a store? The grocery store I was at this morning has some very narrow checkout lanes (they're too narrow for an adult and a cart to both pass), and to keep my 4-year-old from running out ahead of the cart, I asked him "walk behind, not next to", which is the usual way I phrase "walk behind the cart, not holding onto the side." He said "why?" I said "so you're not in the way." He said "but why?" and I said "please walk behind, not next to." He started scooting towards the front of the cart, so I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him behind the cart. That's what I would have done. Not much else you can do
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Sep 29, 2016 21:08
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We just moved with our 3 1/2 almost 4 year old. It was sort of the same city but technically not. This area is like a couple of cities squished together and we moved from one to another for a much shorter commute. We moved from a house to an apartment, but the apartment has a playground, pool, and lots of kid-friendly parks close which the old house didn't have. We talked it up a lot and we went to visit before we moved and hyped it up a lot. It got to the point where he would get mad and upset about going to the old house because he didn't want to be there anymore. He was in hysterics on moving day after we moved all of our things to the apartment and had to go back to the old house in the evening for the pets. He was worried we were moving back. We had him help pack up some of his stuff so he would sort of get the concept. We unfortunately didn't have anyone to watch him during the day of the actual move so we made sure to hook up the tv and bluray player as soon as we could and let him veg out while we moved everything in so he wasn't in the way.
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Sep 30, 2016 01:56
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When we bought our new house, my daughter was 2. It took us 4 months to move in, so we eased her into it. We talked up the house, took her with us when we went over and let her run around or help us out with whatever we were doing. Once we were ready to move, we had her help us pack up the house, and let her watch the movers with the grand parents. We figured she'd be ok for the most part, but were a bit worried about how she'd handle the first night, so we also painted her room the same color, so she's be more comfortable in the room. All and all, it's worked pretty well. She does ask about the old house from time to time, but we just tell her we gave it to someone else.
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Sep 30, 2016 04:11
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We moved earlier this year. Our almost-4-year-old (at the time) more or less understood what was going on, and was pretty excited about getting "a tall house". There really wasn't any angst or complaining from her. The 1-and-a-half-year-old, on the other hand, did not get it at all. Our first night in the new house, it was getting late, and he brought his shoes to my wife (since every night before, we had come over to the house to do some prep work, but then put on shoes to head back to the apartment we'd been staying at). When that "didn't work", he got her shoes and brought them to her. The little guy just didn't understand we were staying here this time. I basically rubbed his back while he cried himself to sleep that first night. The idea of a room of his own was completely foreign (he'd shared a room with the TV/couch/media center/hang out zone in our old house, and shared a room with his sister in the apartment), and he just didn't know what to make of anything going on. It's been a few months now, and the kids have adjusted great. Not that I consider us really "moved in" yet, with all the boxes we still haven't finished unpacking, because we still have things we need to paint and other work we need to do first.
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Sep 30, 2016 05:16
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Sockmuppet posted:Speaking of which - we're moving! Holy crap, this was totally unexpected, but apparently we bought our dream apartment yesterday (which in Oslos current housing market is the biggest miracle this side of the Immaculate Conception). Anyone have experience with moving with a three year old? Can confirm that the housing market in Oslo is hosed beyond all reasonable limits. Approximately where, out of curiosity? (I live a bit outside of Oslo proper, near Skedsmokorset -- we figured the tradeoff of a longer commute was worth it in order to afford a bit more room and a bit more rural surroundings.) Don't have much applicable experience; our last move was when #1 son was nearly two years old, and hadn't started daycare yet. Also it was pretty short (less than 200 m as the crow flies, although nearly 4 km to drive) so the surroundings weren't much different.
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Sep 30, 2016 09:09
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Latest tantrum-technique from youngest son: He runs a few steps away, throws himself to the ground, and shouts, "You shoved me!" Also he'll scream "ow, ow, it hurts!" whenever he is being made to do something he doesn't want to. Great, make the neighbours think we're abusive, why don't you?
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Sep 30, 2016 10:36
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Groke posted:Can confirm that the housing market in Oslo is hosed beyond all reasonable limits. Approximately where, out of curiosity? (I live a bit outside of Oslo proper, near Skedsmokorset -- we figured the tradeoff of a longer commute was worth it in order to afford a bit more room and a bit more rural surroundings.) We moved from Alexander Kiellands plass to Gamlebyen to a stunning loft apartment with giant windows and a private roof terrace with a panoramic view of the harbour and Barcode. I was convinced that the apartment was going to go for at least a million over the suggested price and way over our price range, since the last two places we looked at went for 1.5 and 1.7 million over, but apparently the universe was smiling at us that day. Now I'm just praying that there isn't a new financial crisis before we sell our old apartment in a month(and that there isn't something massively hosed up with the new apartment - I'm not used to the universe smiling like that, so I'm immediately suspicious that all the walls are filled with black mold and dead badgers.) Our kid is going to love the new apartment, I'm sure, but it's going to be a big change to move kindergartens.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:34
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Hell, that location would be worth at least a couple of dead badgers.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:48
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Groke posted:Hell, that location would be worth at least a couple of dead badgers. Do badgers get in walls? I tried googling this in English but the Badgers are a sports team, and I can't remember how to say badger in Hebrew. Spanish found me this art: https://www.etsy.com/listing/177803669/badger-art-print-badger-wall-art-badger
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Sep 30, 2016 19:52
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My 16.5 month old daughter has been getting progressively more interested in toileting since around 13 months old. She communicates to us when she poops and her favorite book is "Potty." We bought her a potty, expecting to put it in the bathroom, talk about it, and have her get used to it over the next several months. We showed it to her when she was in the bathroom naked before bath time, and she sat on it herself, yelled "PEEEEE," and clapped. We clapped too to go along with it but were very surprised when the potty was actually full of pee. So far it's happened 3 out of the last 4 nights when she's naked in the bathroom before bath time. Our general parenting style is gentle and letting developmental milestones happen when they may. I don't feel ready to potty train her yet. I don't think our communication skills (on both ends) are up to it. I also don't expect her to be physically ready to hold it. I want to give her pleasant opportunities to use the potty, but I also don't want to wind up confusing her with simultaneous diapers and potty, if that's a thing. I've been trying to read about it online and everything for kids her age is about elimination communication. I guess we've been encouraging that in a way but not formally. I do know when she's going to poop and could probably get her to a potty in time. My initial instinct is to offer her the chance to try the potty when I go to the bathroom (she's almost always there to watch me and clap for my successful potty use) and before bath time. Then we'd get more serious when she's a little older. I realize that in this situation "potty training" would take months, and I know a lot of parents who swear by getting it done quickly. So, if you were in this situation, what would you do?
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Oct 1, 2016 06:51
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Our 1-year-old recently started throwing huge fits at bedtime/during the night if she's not with mom, despite me putting her to sleep most nights for a few months. This sucks a lot for at least two reasons: my wife usually still has work to get done in the evening, and the kid's not weaned yet, so mom gets sore. Any ideas what's going on and/or how to get her to calm down?
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Oct 1, 2016 12:36
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We're at 2 years old (and 2 months to be exact) and the tantrums are out of control. Basically she's super sweet until one tiny little thing sets her off and then it's a 30 minute inconsolable session. I mean screaming, crying, kicking you away, flopping on the ground, hands in mouth inconsolable. Is this normal? It feels like at least half our time outside of daycare is dealing with her having mega-tantrums. And at daycare apparently she doesn't do it at all which is even more frustrating. It's not like we constantly capitulate to her demands and reinforce the behavior either. We typically try to solve the problem, then if we see it's not going to be solvable (aka "I don't want the thing I just said I wanted") we take her to her room and leave her there til she calms down a bit. We're both at the end of our rope and we have no familial help to take some of the strain off. Is this behavior relatively normal? edit: It's only been this intensive for maybe a month. It's just EVERY TINY THING turns into whining and screaming fits. BonoMan fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Oct 1, 2016 |
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Oct 1, 2016 18:45
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BonoMan posted:And at daycare apparently she doesn't do it at all which is even more frustrating. Super duper normal, especially this bit - at that age they're starting to figure out that they're a separate being from mum and dad, and they're pushing boundaries (not in a "muahaha, what can I get away with?" kind of way, but just "what is it possible for me to do?") as well as trying to get the hang of how their feelings work and how the world in general works. When my sister was little, she had some epic meltdowns before we figured out that she didn't get that we couldn't read her thoughts - she'd be hungry or thirsty and no one would get her food or water, and then out of the blue (it seemed like for us) she'd fall completely apart. Understandably, since she figured we must obviously know about her needs just like she did, and were deliberately ignoring her. The fact that your daughter breaks down with you two and not at daycare, shows that you're doing a good job! You two are her rocks and her safe space - she can wig out about stuff because she knows that she's safe and loved, just like us adult will keep our emotions and behavour in check at work, but can break down crying or get mad about stuff at home with our partners and parents. The half-hour tantrum is a bit extreme, but hopefully she'll mellow out a little soon and be down to 10-15 minute tantrums 
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Oct 1, 2016 20:58
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KingColliwog posted:Just to make sure. My baby is going to turn 1 in a few days and he never crawled. He will cruise just fine and is starting to let go and walk up to 6-8 steps regularly. I don't really mind and I figure he's going to crawl and walk on all fours once he learns to walk by himself since it'll help him to stand up. Join the club; ours just turned 11 months today and he still doesn't crawl, he recently learned this funky break dance move though where he'll be on his back/side and constantly rotate 360° using his legs, or shuffle against a wall and push away using his legs. At the very least he can roll around fine, one morning on the living room I fell asleep on the sofa while he was on the floor and when I woke up he was on the other side of the room. Oodles posted:Two years ago we went on holiday to Florida, from the UK, and I went to change our then 2 year olds nappy. Then discovered that very few male toilets have changing tables.
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Oct 2, 2016 11:12
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Sockmuppet posted:Super duper normal, especially this bit - at that age they're starting to figure out that they're a separate being from mum and dad, and they're pushing boundaries (not in a "muahaha, what can I get away with?" kind of way, but just "what is it possible for me to do?") as well as trying to get the hang of how their feelings work and how the world in general works. Thanks for the advice! It makes me feel better. I mean deep down I know it's fairly normal, but when you're in the midst of it, it's easy to start saying "maybe something is wrong."
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Oct 2, 2016 14:53
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Here in North Carolina my husband never had an issue finding a changing table.
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Oct 3, 2016 01:40
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In my experience, chain places have them (gas stations, restaurants) but non chains are hit and miss. Although I was pleasantly surprised recently when a local micro brew place had one in their bathroom. (Bar only, no food.) Sometimes you have to take your two month old to get an afternoon beer, ya know?
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Oct 3, 2016 01:52
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BonoMan posted:We typically try to solve the problem, then if we see it's not going to be solvable (aka "I don't want the thing I just said I wanted") we take her to her room and leave her there til she calms down a bit. Tantrums are often about letting out emotions rather than really wanting a blue cup. You know how sometimes you just feel better after a good cry? If a toddler is seeking that outlet then even if you "solve" 1000 problems they will find something else to explode about. I'd say especially if she is being a model child all day for daycare she might need to let some feelings out. So anyway it's normal. Maybe try sitting with her during her tantrum and acknowledging her feelings and see how she reacts to that, that's what we do.
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Oct 3, 2016 12:27
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