Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > Working in IT 3.0: xp_cmdshell

guppy: Sep 21, 2004; sting like a byob

My personal policy, which is in no way official, is I'll make three attempts to contact you on three consecutive days, using a couple of different methods. If you don't get back to me it gets closed on day 4.

Gotta have some common sense about it, though. I have seen helpdesk people close tickets about their email not working because they didn't respond to emails about it.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:03

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 23:27

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

Did I miss my tag? :smith:

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:20

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

It was the first bullet point!

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:21

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

Internet Explorer posted:

It was the first bullet point!

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:22

Inner Light: Jan 2, 2020

jaegerx posted:

Just give me a 6er for fun. I gotta do some studying tonight. See y�all tomorrow.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Pouring one out

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:23

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

I see, you never put in your request. I got you. That's the last one. Sorry everyone else, unless I missed you, gotta hit up the store.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:24

Inner Light: Jan 2, 2020

Internet Explorer posted:

I see, you never put in your request. I got you. That's the last one. Sorry everyone else, unless I missed you, gotta hit up the store.

WAIT WHAT, IE I am real tired of my gang tags can you just put in a request to clear them please? Look I posted the same minute right oh drat I'm 2 mins off. Well do whatever you please. I never settled on a cool tag to request, I don't know if there are choices or anything.

vvv: Leet

Inner Light fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Jan 12, 2023

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:26

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

Here you go. If you use my referal link, Jeff gives me a cut.

https://store.somethingawful.com/products/titlechange.php

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:28

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

guppy posted:

My personal policy, which is in no way official, is I'll make three attempts to contact you on three consecutive days, using a couple of different methods. If you don't get back to me it gets closed on day 4.

Gotta have some common sense about it, though. I have seen helpdesk people close tickets about their email not working because they didn't respond to emails about it.

this is how I approached it when I had to worry about tickets, but I am not longer beholden to the ticket queue

i have user stories now
:negative:

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:29

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

Internet Explorer posted:

Alright, I've got some more info on how we can do the gang tags. The existing image is great, so thank you Kill Hour. I'll make sure you get it. Another note is that I can only give out so many gang tags. The flexible number is 15. I might be able to get a few more than that, but we'll have to see. If anyone wants one, you can also add them through the store even though the store says you can't use [img] tags in your profile. I'll put instructions on how to do it via store below.

So the way I think I want to handle this is say for the top 30 posters by post in the thread (list here), if you reply and quote this message with "GANG TAG" I'll add you to the list. If we have extras after that, I'll open it up to whoever replies until we run out. Hopefully that's fair.

---
How does a user add a gangtag with the store options? (tag above is good to go, uploaded to the correct place)
Many users believe the only way to get a gangtag is through a mod. This is not true because the store page is lying! [img] tags ARE ALLOWED in title purchases!

You can provide the following instructions to users who wish to buy a title with a gangtag:

1) Save your current avatar (or select a new one).
2) Visit the store page for purchasing a New Avatar.
3) In the "title image" option, upload your current saved avatar or new one.
4) In the "title text" box, enter the [img] code for the gangtag on the SA servers.
5) Preview and fix any errors.

If a user follows this process and has issues, have them contact an admin for assistance to fix the gangtag or avatar.

GANG TAG ME IE.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:32

tehinternet: Feb 14, 2005; Semantically, "you" is both singular and plural, though syntactically it is always plural. It always takes a verb form that originally marked the word as plural.

Also, there is no plural when the context is an argument with an individual rather than a group. Somfin shouldn't put words in my mouth.

Internet Explorer posted:

Alright, couple of updates.

Gang tag requests are in. It's a pain and the admins will get to it when they get to it.

I love and appreciate you all and I wouldn't do gang tags for anyone else. I mean that litereally, never again and no one else.

I think that's more tickets that I've closed in like half a decade. There's no way I got them all right, so let me know if I hosed it up or missed you.

I got Sickening and Sepist confused, but I think I got there in the end.

I legit almost accidentally probed jaegerx. Freudian misclick.

I don't think astral liked it when I did an @astral the forums are down just kidding the IT thread would like to bestow this gang tag upon you if you would like to accept. He politely declined. That may have been my bad.

I think that's it.

IT runs on fuckery, you�re just being good staff by giving him the User Facing Experience

# ? Jan 12, 2023 01:38

Sepist: Dec 26, 2005; FUCK BITCHES, ROUTE PACKETS; Gravy Boat 2k

Internet Explorer posted:

Alright, couple of updates.

I got Sickening and Sepist confused, but I think I got there in the end.

I think that's it.

I'll remember this on the SA mod satisfaction survey.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 02:30

Cannon_Fodder: Jul 17, 2007; "Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

Hello Team Lead

I, a person responsible for communicating with end-users during software deployments, kindly ask that you, a support member, create an end-user guide for me so I can show it to the new folks I'm responsible for onboarding.

You won't mind, will you?

Thanks a bunch!

PS: My boss thinks it's an excellent idea!

CC: Myboss; Theirboss; MyDirector;

# ? Jan 12, 2023 02:32

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

Internet Explorer posted:

Alright, couple of updates.

Gang tag requests are in. It's a pain and the admins will get to it when they get to it.

I love and appreciate you all and I wouldn't do gang tags for anyone else. I mean that litereally, never again and no one else.

I think that's more tickets that I've closed in like half a decade. There's no way I got them all right, so let me know if I hosed it up or missed you.

I got Sickening and Sepist confused, but I think I got there in the end.

I legit almost accidentally probed jaegerx. Freudian misclick.

I don't think astral liked it when I did an @astral the forums are down just kidding the IT thread would like to bestow this gang tag upon you if you would like to accept. He politely declined. That may have been my bad.

I think that's it.

Lmao please tell Astral that he's the best also lol at the bold

# ? Jan 12, 2023 03:26

tokin opposition: Apr 8, 2021; I don't jailbreak the androids, I set them free.

WATCH MARS EXPRESS (2023)

Cannon_Fodder posted:

Hello Team Lead

I, a person responsible for communicating with end-users during software deployments, kindly ask that you, a support member, create an end-user guide for me so I can show it to the new folks I'm responsible for onboarding.

You won't mind, will you?

Thanks a bunch!

PS: My boss thinks it's an excellent idea!

CC: Myboss; Theirboss; MyDirector;

Oh hey samesies

Don't expect them to look at it for a week minimum no matter how long or short your turnaround may be

# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:02

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

CLAM DOWN posted:

Lmao please tell Astral that he's the best also lol at the bold

I don't think he's talking to me anymore.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:32

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Got hired on as a senior systems administrator and Im helping a user fix their at home printer.

Is your printer still causing issues?

Yes.

And now no response for two days.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:49

Zil: Jun 4, 2011; Satanically Summoned Citrus

GreenNight posted:

Got hired on as a senior systems administrator and Im helping a user fix their at home printer.

Is your printer still causing issues?

Yes.

And now no response for two days.

The printer has become sentient and is holding your user hostage.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:54

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

That's best case. I'm going through all the oldest still open tickets and a bunch are from this one dude.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 04:57

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

GreenNight posted:

Got hired on as a senior systems administrator and Im helping a user fix their at home printer.

Is your printer still causing issues?

Yes.

And now no response for two days.

This is why I had to get away from anything user facing. No matter how far you climb, they pull you back in with the bullshit.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 05:28

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

big same

# ? Jan 12, 2023 05:31

cheque_some: Dec 6, 2006; The Wizard of Menlo Park

guppy posted:

My personal policy, which is in no way official, is I'll make three attempts to contact you on three consecutive days, using a couple of different methods. If you don't get back to me it gets closed on day 4.

Gotta have some common sense about it, though. I have seen helpdesk people close tickets about their email not working because they didn't respond to emails about it.

At a previous company the IT folks would call you at 8:30 AM (before you arrived), call you again at 12:30 PM (when you'd be at lunch), then close the tickets out with "Made 2 attempts to contact user with no response".

# ? Jan 12, 2023 05:33

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Internet Explorer posted:

This is why I had to get away from anything user facing. No matter how far you climb, they pull you back in with the bullshit.

The help desk guy has been in the hospital basically since I started a month ago with some kind of infection in his foot. We haven�t heard from him in over a week. Is he dead? Who knows!

Sucks rear end and yeah I�m tired of end user bullshit.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 05:39

Zorak of Michigan: Jun 10, 2006

I'm tired of everyone's bullshit. Give me comprehensible requirements and a plausible deadline and then go away.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 05:55

CLAM DOWN: Feb 13, 2007

GreenNight posted:

Got hired on as a senior systems administrator and Im helping a user fix their at home printer.

Is your printer still causing issues?

Yes.

And now no response for two days.

You need to send someone to the user's home with a hammer. The printer has gone rogue.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 06:20

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Internet Explorer posted:

Alright, couple of updates.

Gang tag requests are in. It's a pain and the admins will get to it when they get to it.

I love and appreciate you all and I wouldn't do gang tags for anyone else. I mean that litereally, never again and no one else.

I think that's more tickets that I've closed in like half a decade. There's no way I got them all right, so let me know if I hosed it up or missed you.

I got Sickening and Sepist confused, but I think I got there in the end.

I legit almost accidentally probed jaegerx. Freudian misclick.

I don't think astral liked it when I did an @astral the forums are down just kidding the IT thread would like to bestow this gang tag upon you if you would like to accept. He politely declined. That may have been my bad.

I think that's it.

We <3 IE

# ? Jan 12, 2023 06:28

GnarlyCharlie4u: Sep 23, 2007; I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof

Potato Salad posted:

In summary, we're going to take 802.11x authentication in a friendlier "RADIUSsy" direction.

*My brain, poisoned by 2022 -ussy memes*

https://www.americandialect.org/2022-word-of-the-year-is-ussy

GreenNight posted:

Email sigs are like SA avatars.

perfect post/avatar combo.

GnarlyCharlie4u fucked around with this message at 06:46 on Jan 12, 2023

# ? Jan 12, 2023 06:42

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

cheque_some posted:

At a previous company the IT folks would call you at 8:30 AM (before you arrived), call you again at 12:30 PM (when you'd be at lunch), then close the tickets out with "Made 2 attempts to contact user with no response".

They knew how to game the stats, you gotta respect it

# ? Jan 12, 2023 10:21

LochNessMonster: Feb 3, 2005; I need about three fitty

cheque_some posted:

At a previous company the IT folks would call you at 8:30 AM (before you arrived), call you again at 12:30 PM (when you'd be at lunch), then close the tickets out with "Made 2 attempts to contact user with no response".

Sounds like the support desk who deleted my admin account. Had to request a new one and specified in the ticket I'd be on vacation since if new accounts don't get used within 2 weeks they got removed again. Of course it's delivered during my vacation and removed before I got back. There was 0 communication on this, I found out after inquiring what took them so long. Had to put in another ticket and they never informed me it was delivered, so when asking why it took them so long they said it'd been delivered and removed again because I didn't use it.

Jokes on them though. Kept billing full time while not being able to do jack poo poo. Hiring manager didn't care either "it's just how things are around here".

# ? Jan 12, 2023 13:38

Cyks: Mar 17, 2008; The trenches of IT can scar a muppet for life

It took me three months to get an MSP�s n-able access because apparently the only people able to create an account is tier 3 and they refuse to talk to anyone. They won�t call you and you can�t be transferred to them. So you put in a ticket and at some time roughly a week later they�ll create your account with no warning and you have an hour to activate it (god forbid it gets held up in proofpoint that they also provide) or else you�ll have to submit a new ticket.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 14:27

BaseballPCHiker: Jan 16, 2006

Looking at that list of the most frequent posters in this thread was a blast from the past. Totally forgot about DAF! The only one I occasionally miss is MC Fruit Stripe.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 15:57

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Looking at that list of the most frequent posters in this thread was a blast from the past. Totally forgot about DAF! The only one I occasionally miss is MC Fruit Stripe.

Daf didn�t change their name to IE?

# ? Jan 12, 2023 16:01

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

Extremely rude.

# ? Jan 12, 2023 16:01

The Fool: Oct 16, 2003

BaseballPCHiker posted:

Looking at that list of the most frequent posters in this thread was a blast from the past. Totally forgot about DAF! The only one I occasionally miss is MC Fruit Stripe.

Midlne erasure

(probably spelled their name wrong)

# ? Jan 12, 2023 16:05

Warmachine: Jan 30, 2012

Doing a bit of thread catch-up since I've been head down in that drat update project for the past 3 weeks. Which for anyone keeping score, it went great--on the back of good ol' Tech Company Crunch that has everyone up and down the stack pissed off and unfiltered. Love that the CIO has been sharing candids about his experiences in the C-suite here with me. Of all the 'executive' level people I know, I definitely respect him as someone who knows what the gently caress he's talking about and deserves to be in his chair. The others need to learn what "stay in your lane" means.

And before I get into the quote stack: we found an issue that meshes well with the Gang Tag. Customer reported an issue, CEO and customer both glommed onto the idea that something automated was causing this because there's NO WAY REAL HUMANS WOULD MAKE THIS MISTAKE. The CIO, me, the QA manager, and the developer all swore up and down there was no way this was an automated process because we don't have anything that comes remotely close to doing what the customer and CEO thinks it is doing. It had to be human error, and we even had a very plausible scenario caused by a defect/oversight in one of the customer features that enabled this.

A day of investigation later, we learn that something that should have been a one time process got committed to the code base to run every time the software update runs. So it was in fact 'automated.' Four of us are currently sharing a crow pie with a side of hat and shoe leather.

Internet Explorer posted:

what is this "api" you speak of??

It was US69, drawn up around 10 years ago, left on "Submitted" with no changes since 2014, and has not been part of our regression testing ever.

KillHour posted:

Is this achievements for your car?

Can I display achievements in my email signature? I want to display my "24-Hour Workday" cheevo so people know I don't value my time and my company is a bunch of slave drivers.

tehinternet posted:

I�m personally always grateful when someone tells me they�re an MBA in their sig so I know I can safely ignore whatever they have to say

I don�t mind reasonable other poo poo like MS or maybe your most prestigious cert if you�re trying to pull weight or something

I have one MBA on my team, and fortunately he seems to know and acknowledge that the degree is a worthless slip of paper only good for impressing people who don't actually know poo poo. His dad is also the co-founder of the company, so I think he's a bit embarrassed about the implied/explicit nepotism.

Internet Explorer posted:

hey hey hey, this is more than just a shitposting thread, okay

It's managed by a browser that was put out to pasture (finally) last summer. You have no idea how satisfying it was to strike "Internet Explorer" from my company's supported browser list. We have an obsession with supporting legacy hardware/software well beyond its sell-by date and every chance I get to force us to axe support for something is one I'm going to take.

Warmachine fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Jan 12, 2023

# ? Jan 12, 2023 16:36

LochNessMonster: Feb 3, 2005; I need about three fitty

Has anyone here heard or used the Arc browser?

# ? Jan 12, 2023 18:03

Cao Ni Ma: May 25, 2010

They sent us a Mac to set up and join to the domain. First Ive done one in my time in government service. Look at the instructions we have in our knoweldge site. First step is "Add the machines lan mac address to the 802.1x bypass portal" , this mac doesnt appear to have a lan nic nor did it come with a hub with one.

The document literally says that I cant join it to the domain on wifi. Good thing we had spare thunderbolt docks or else Id have to sit on my rear end for a week to get one shipped to us to finish this

# ? Jan 12, 2023 19:45

tokin opposition: Apr 8, 2021; I don't jailbreak the androids, I set them free.

WATCH MARS EXPRESS (2023)

Attention all IT wizards and tech gurus,

I am writing to you in the utmost of distress regarding a matter of dire importance. You see, I was attempting to express my excitement for the upcoming gooncamp by using the most stylish and modern gangtag available, and imagine my horror when I discovered that instead of the gangtag, my avatar only had a single 'tag.

This is a catastrophe of epic proportions, my colleagues will think I am unprofessional and out of touch with the latest trends. I demand immediate action to be taken to rectify this gangtag-less situation and ensure that it never happens again.

I cannot express the level of disappointment and despair I am currently experiencing due to this gangtag-less disaster, and I implore you to take swift and decisive action before it is too late. I have attached a list of the gangtags I require for my immediate use and for future reference.

Please, I beg of you, save me from this emoticon-less fate before it's too late.

Yours in emoticon-less despair,

tokin opposition

# ? Jan 12, 2023 20:00

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

Y'all are the reason ~~mommy~~IE drinks

# ? Jan 12, 2023 20:01

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 23:27

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

tokin opposition posted:

Attention all IT wizards and tech gurus,

I am writing to you in the utmost of distress regarding a matter of dire importance. You see, I was attempting to express my excitement for the upcoming gooncamp by using the most stylish and modern gangtag available, and imagine my horror when I discovered that instead of the gangtag, my avatar only had a single 'tag.

This is a catastrophe of epic proportions, my colleagues will think I am unprofessional and out of touch with the latest trends. I demand immediate action to be taken to rectify this gangtag-less situation and ensure that it never happens again.

I cannot express the level of disappointment and despair I am currently experiencing due to this gangtag-less disaster, and I implore you to take swift and decisive action before it is too late. I have attached a list of the gangtags I require for my immediate use and for future reference.

Please, I beg of you, save me from this emoticon-less fate before it's too late.

Yours in emoticon-less despair,

tokin opposition

what

# ? Jan 12, 2023 20:17

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