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Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


But obviously that's not what really happened. Really we went over to the balcony.

The Chasm of Doom posted:

An empty feeling grips your stomach as you stare upon the altar and inner sanctum of the subterranean temple. Your Kai senses burn as if every nerve in your body is screaming a warning to flee from this evil chamber. Huge braziers of molten metal encircle a black altar upon which lies fair Madelon, the daughter of Baron Vanalund. She seems to be entranced—her breathing is slow and shallow. Beyond the altar lie two massive doors, a gigantic skull engraved upon their black stone surface. Out of your view, another door opens, and a procession of red-cloaked priests enters the temple. Their heads are covered and they each carry strange amulets of black stone. They file past the altar, depositing the amulets in a circle around the young girl’s body and then file out again in total silence. Then you hear the sound of a distant drumbeat; it grows louder and nearer. The measured steps of steel-shod boots resound in its wake. Barraka is approaching.



Healing: +1 EP (31/32).

Barraka carries the stench of death and decay about him. He strides into the temple, his boots of Gourgaz hide covering both legs and feet, and slams shut the huge stone door with frightening ease. He stands in silence before pushing open the huge black doors engraved with the menacing skulls. Suddenly a gale force wind sweeps through the temple and your ears are filled by a terrible scream. Beyond the open doors, a pier of stone juts into the abyss of Maakengorge: you are staring into the Chasm of Doom.

Barraka turns away from the windswept pier and walks slowly towards the altar. From a hidden scabbard he removes a twisted black dagger and holds its stiletto blade to the light. An evil blue flame runs up and down the black steel spike, flickering in the ice-cold winds of Maakengorge. The sacrifice is about to begin.



Healing: +1 EP (32/32).
This is it, this is the moment. Do we attack him or try to distract him some other way?

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The Shame Boy
Jan 27, 2014

Dead weight, just like this post.



attack! As climactic as this is suppose to be i'm betting we 3 round his rear end with the sommerswerd.

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
Distract him otherwise so we don't three round his rear end with the sommerswerd.

I kinda want to LP the Seventh Sense version of the books at some point, but since all the changes that people would care about in an LP (namely, the rebalancing of the 'swerd and the giving of various bonuses to other special and/or unusual weapons) are relatively minor, it'd just be the same books played through yet again and probably not a good choice for babby's first LP.

Maybe I'll just go through each book and make a note of the changes after Tiggum's done with them or something.

e: oh right there are achievements too, but basically the text is the same and the mechanics are a bit different at best.

Leraika fucked around with this message at 04:07 on Oct 23, 2017

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010
Kick his rear end!

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Distract him first. We need a long monologue about how we're too late to stop his plans.

RudeCat
Aug 7, 2012

The rudest cat for the rudest jobs


This is the moment to.....attack him!

Avalerion
Oct 19, 2012

Attack!

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
We have a bow and wish to use it I mean, attack!

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
I vote distraction just to see what it does. After we beat this guy, I also vote we help the virgin sacrifice with her virginity problem so she never has to go through this sort of thing again. :heysexy:

Comstar
Apr 20, 2007

Are you happy now?
Distract them so he enters into a monologue!

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


achtungnight posted:

I vote distraction just to see what it does. After we beat this guy, I also vote we help the virgin sacrifice with her virginity problem so she never has to go through this sort of thing again. :heysexy:
Lone Wolf is a monk.

The Chasm of Doom posted:

‘Hold your blade, Barraka. Her life is not yours for the taking!’ Your words ring out above the howling wind. The renegade noble turns to face you, his laugh as piercing as your command. He advances towards you, the flame-licked dagger held high in his mailed fist. You draw your weapon and enter the temple.
Should we fight him now, or try to free Madelon first?

WhiskeyWhiskers
Oct 14, 2013


"هذا ليس عادلاً."
"هذا ليس عادلاً على الإطلاق."
"كان هناك وقت الآن."
(السياق الخفي: للقراءة)
Fight

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
Not all monks are celibate... oh well maybe Captain D’Val can have that honor. That might even be canon. Let’s ensure the future wedding happens and fight.

Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)
Free the girl.

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Free the girl first. We might run into a "stabs her in a last act of defiance" scene.

Kangra
May 7, 2012

What if she's still under this guy's spell and tries to kill us? We should Fight (and also kill the girl just to be safe).

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Hey, you, get your drat hands off her!

Avalerion
Oct 19, 2012

Save damsel.

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
Shalalalalalalalala, free the girl

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


We actually have the item that would have allowed us to successfully skip this fight (the flask of holy water) but fighting works too.

The Chasm of Doom posted:

As you raise your golden sword, the howling wind seems to rise in pitch and intensity. It claws at your mind, filling your head with terrible images of death and horror. Barraka sees you falter and strikes a cruel blow that opens a wound in your cheek. You lose 1 ENDURANCE point. But the sudden pain reawakens you to the presence of your enemy, and the combat begins.

Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 29

You are being attacked by a very powerful Mindblast. Unless you possess the Kai Discipline of Mindshield, your COMBAT SKILL is reduced by 4 for the duration of this combat. However, Barraka himself is a warrior who possesses formidable strength of will: he is immune to Mindblast.

Lone Wolf: COMBAT SKILL 27 ENDURANCE 31
Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 29
Combat Ratio: 2

If we didn't have the Sommerswerd then Barraka wouldn't have Mindblast, but the Sommerswerd is still a definite advantage here even if you don't have Mindshield.

We roll: 6
Lone Wolf: COMBAT SKILL 27 ENDURANCE 29
Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 20

We roll: 8
Lone Wolf: COMBAT SKILL 27 ENDURANCE 29
Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 9

We roll: 1
Lone Wolf: COMBAT SKILL 27 ENDURANCE 24
Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 5

We roll: 5
Lone Wolf: COMBAT SKILL 27 ENDURANCE 22
Barraka: COMBAT SKILL 25 ENDURANCE 0

Those who guessed three rounds, you were off by one. Still the toughest fight we've had in a long while.

The Chasm of Doom posted:

As Barraka dies, the wind suddenly rises in pitch and intensity, filling the temple with a mournful cry of despair. You feel the chill, malevolent spirit of Darklord Vashna engulfing you in an icy embrace, but you sense that he is powerless to harm you. The sacrifice has been foiled; he is doomed to lament for a victory that might have been.

Lying on the black temple floor is the Dagger of Vashna. As you pick it up and tuck it into your belt (mark this on your Action Chart as a Special Item), the evil blue flame flickers and dies. As long as you possess this evil blade, Darklord Vashna and his legion of dead warriors will remain imprisoned in the Chasm of Doom.

You free fair Madelon from the altar and carry her through the corridors of the temple that lead up to the surface. As you emerge into the moonlit ruins, an astounding sight greets your eyes. Barraka’s warriors are running from the ghost city in all directions, closely pursued by an army of cavalrymen. The light of the full moon and the guttering torches that these horsemen carry, illuminates the sun-crest that bedecks their tunics. Word must have reached Holmgard for they are the Sommlending army, led by King Ulnar himself. Your countrymen praise your courage and daring, their strident cheers drowning the cry of Maakengorge, for once again you have proved yourself a true hero of Sommerlund. As you deliver Madelon into the waiting arms of her father, his overwhelming joy fills you with a sense of great achievement. You are indeed worthy of the title ‘Kai Lord’. You have succeeded in your perilous quest, but the epic saga of Lone Wolf—last of the Kai Lords—is far from complete. A new and deadly challenge awaits you in Book 5 of the Lone Wolf series entitled:

Shadow on the Sand



Healing: +1 EP (23/32).

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Final stats for book four:
    Rank: Warmarn or Journeyman
    Combat Skill: 29 (17)
    Endurance Points: 23/32 (26)

    Kai Disciplines
  1. Animal Kinship
  2. Healing (Regain 1 EP per section)
  3. Camouflage
  4. Mindblast (+2 CS)
  5. Hunting
  6. Sixth Sense
  7. Mindshield
  8. Mind Over Matter

    Weapons:
  1. The Sommerswerd (+8 CS)
  2. The Dagger of Vashna
    Backpack:
  1. Flask of Holy Water
  2. Meal of laumspur (+3 EP)
  3. Meal
  4. Laumspur potion (+4 EP)
  5. Laumspur potion (+5 EP)
  6. Rope (1/2)
  7. Rope (2/2)
  8. Potion of Laumspur (+4 EP)
    Gold Crowns (money): 31

    Special Items:
  • Map of the Lastlands
  • Helmet (+2 EP)
  • Shield (+2 CS)
  • Map of Kalte
  • Firesphere
  • Blue Stone Triangle
  • Diamond
  • Ornate Silver Key
  • Map of Southern Sommerlund
  • Badge of Rank
  • Chainmail Waistcoat (+4 EP)
  • Scroll

    Notable Achievements:
  • Reached Ruanon
  • Prevented the resurrection of Vashna

    Missed Opportunities:
  • Never got to return D'Val's sword to him.

    Kills:
  • A bandit warrior
  • A stoneworm
  • A bridge guard
  • Three Vassagonian warhounds
  • A Vassagonian warrior
  • A bandit horseman
  • A wounded bandit
  • Barraka the Doomslayer of Vassagonia

    Deaths:
  • Shot in the head by a bandit sniper while running toward Ruanon.
  • Caught by guards in the temple of Maaken.
Total deaths so far: 4.

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


I have a bit of a soft spot for this book. Aside from being one of the ones I owned and read when I was very young, I also love how easy it is to get all of your men killed as you go. Oh, and those guys who went missing and we never found out what happened to them? They're dead.



We also missed out on a couple of fun encounters. Just by pure luck we missed the inn we could have stayed at and which would have been attacked by bandits during the night. It's basically just a series of fights, but it's one of my favourite battles of the series. We also could have fought this guy if we'd run for the watchtower when we were fighting at Ruanon:



There's also a couple of fun monster encounters, including this big cat in the mines:



and that monster we bypassed at the temple of Maaken:



Oh, and a big serpent in an underground river:



That's another great way to lose some dudes.

I understand the criticism some people might have for this book, and the whole resurrection plot sort of comes out of nowhere right near the end, but I still like it. I do have to wonder though, because the book doesn't really make it clear, what exactly do Barraka's men think is going on? Are they all loyal cultists who want to see Vashna's return? They're often referred to as bandits, but Barraka is a Vassagonian noble, so are they actually an invading army? The slaves working the mines suggest a different plan than the sacrifice. Are Barraka's men just dividing the spoils among themselves, or are they sending the loot back to Vassagonia? Is Sommerlund at war with Vassagonia now, or was Barraka acting on his own initiative and against the wishes of his superiors? Did he convince his men to invade a neighbouring country for wealth and glory? None of it really gets resolved since the book ends with the sacrifice and the Sommerlunding army arriving to conveniently save the day.

WhiskeyWhiskers
Oct 14, 2013


"هذا ليس عادلاً."
"هذا ليس عادلاً على الإطلاق."
"كان هناك وقت الآن."
(السياق الخفي: للقراءة)
Well you get a bit of an answer next book. iirc he's trying to start a war between Sommerlund and Vasagonia by provoking the Sommerlendings into attacking, because the current Sultan(?) is a peaceful ruler and won't declare war. I think.

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.




Shadow on the Sand posted:

The Story So Far … 

You are Lone Wolf—last of the Kai Lords of Sommerlund, and sole survivor of the massacre that destroyed them during a bitter war with your age-old enemies, the Darklords of Helgedad.

It is midwinter in your northern homeland and a mantle of snow lies knee-deep in the streets of Holmgard—the capital—when you are summoned from your monastery in the hills by a messenger bearing a scroll, signed and sealed by the hand of King Ulnar. You are surprised to read the King’s message, for it is a request for your help in solving an urgent problem of what he describes as ‘great diplomatic importance’. It seems a strange request to make of a warrior lord, whose skills are better suited to the field of battle than to parleying with foreign envoys. However, you obey the summons and upon your arrival at the capital, all is made clear.

The Zakhan of Vassagonia, the imperial ruler of this desert empire, has sent his most trusted envoy to seek a treaty of peace between your two countries, and you have been asked to sign the treaty on behalf of your country. The reason for this is easily apparent.

Less than a year ago, a renegade noble of Vassagonia called Barraka led his army of bandits in an attack upon the Sommlending province of Ruanon. This mining town and much of the surrounding land was overrun and destroyed. Many Sommlending lost their lives, and many more were enslaved and forced to labour in the mines of the Maaken Range. When the regular convoy from Ruanon failed to arrive at the capital, the king sent you to investigate. A great battle ensued in which you defeated Barraka in mortal combat. Without your courage and skill, the safety of Sommerlund and all of the Lastlands would have been placed in grave peril.

‘Your majesty, the Zakhan is gravely embarrassed by Barraka’s foul treachery, and is most anxious that our friendship and trust be restored. He begs that you send the Kai warrior, Lone Wolf, to sign a treaty of peace with him at the Grand Palace in Barrakeesh,’ whimpers the Zakhan’s emissary, as he kneels at the feet of King Ulnar.

The king rises from his throne, barely able to conceal his distaste for the fawning envoy. He turns his gaze to you and bids you follow him to the privacy of an antechamber.

‘I have no liking for this desert realm, Lone Wolf, but I like the prospect of war even less. The Zakhan is old and frail, and has no son to claim his throne when he dies. Barraka was but one of many ruthless nobles who wait like jackals for the chance to seize power, and I fear they grow too impatient to allow the Zakhan to die a natural death. The treaty may not guarantee peace with Vassagonia once the Zakhan is dead, but it will at least buy us precious time to strengthen our southern border.’

The king leads you to a window and points towards the harbour, barely visible through the falling snow. A Vassagonian galley lies anchored close to the harbour wall.

‘Go to Vassagonia, Lone Wolf. Sign the treaty and return quickly. Even with the promise of peace, I fear the shadow of war will fall upon us before the year is out.’

You wave farewell to Holmgard on this bleak midwinter’s day, feeling sure you will return before the thaw. But as you watch the spires of Holmgard disappear in the falling snow, you have no inkling of the shadow that awaits you in Vassagonia.

New book, new Kai Discipline! We've only got two left to pick from, so it's Tracking or Weaponskill.

Once again we get a new map, 11 Gold Crowns (we now have 42 in total), and any four of the following:
  • Dagger
  • Potion of Laumspur (restores 4 Endurance)
  • Sword
  • Spear
  • 2 Special Rations (Meals)
  • Mace
  • Shield (+2 CS)
We're currently carrying two weapons (the Sommerswerd and the Dagger of Vashna) and would need to leave one behind in storage if we wanted to take a different one, our backpack is also full with four healing items, a meal, a flask of holy water and a rope that counts as two items. And we have a shield and would gain no benefit by taking another. We also have our two Port Bax passes still in storage.

So vote for which Discipline you want to take and which items you want to take or leave behind. You can also see the full list of Special Items we're carrying back on page one if you'd like to leave any of those in storage at this stage.

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

Tiggum posted:

New book, new Kai Discipline! We've only got two left to pick from, so it's Tracking or Weaponskill.

Tracking - Weaponskill is still too random.

The Shame Boy
Jan 27, 2014

Dead weight, just like this post.



I might be misremembering the wiki, but isn't the dagger also suppose to be some kind of special weapon kinda deal? Don't think it ever really comes up though.

I'll be mr.contrarian and pick Weaponskill maybe we'll get lucky!

ulmont
Sep 15, 2010

IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

I might be misremembering the wiki, but isn't the dagger also suppose to be some kind of special weapon kinda deal? Don't think it ever really comes up though.

It comes up a few times but in almost every case you are forced to use the Sommerswerd if you have it.

anakha
Sep 16, 2009


Take Tracking.

Stash the Holy Water, all our maps, Silver Key, Badge of Rank, and Scroll.

Grab the new Laumspur Potion.

Jackard
Oct 28, 2007

We Have A Bow And We Wish To Use It
This next book was really confusing as a kid, because it had a printing error where it was missing pages and others were in the wrong order.

Jackard fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Oct 24, 2017

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
Grab track, stash everything Anakha said but the Holy Water, grab a Meal.

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Leraika posted:

Grab track, stash everything Anakha said but the Holy Water, grab a Meal.
You're going to need to pick something to get rid of if you want to take a Meal. Backpack's full.

Leraika
Jun 14, 2015

Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Tiggum posted:

You're going to need to pick something to get rid of if you want to take a Meal. Backpack's full.

Woops never mind that, thought the holy water was special

vilkacis
Feb 16, 2011

It's the Dagger of Vecna! You have to cut off your previous dagger if you want to use it.

...wait.


Leave the dagger at home because I think it might be kind of evil and it's going to be like three sections before the book goes "lose one of your weapons" and that just seems like a bad thing to randomly drop somewhere.

Tracking's probably a better idea than rolling for WS.


Oh, and


now that it's come up, it's totally the Dagger of Vashna he's chewing on here, right?

vilkacis fucked around with this message at 06:50 on Oct 24, 2017

Avalerion
Oct 19, 2012

Tracking.

Added Space
Jul 13, 2012

Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!
There's a rope that takes up two slots and a rope that only takes one slot, so I always houseruled that I could cut the rope in half to save on inventory space..

I always liked Barraka. Sure, he was trying to resurrect a demon, but he also had a decent raiding and invasion plan as his mainstay. It makes sense for him to invade since the Sommerland army has to be in bad shape after the events of book 1. Here in book 5 he gets posthumous characterization as an ambitious minor noble. He's an excellent blend of venial and supernatural threat, and he lets his work speak for him.

Added Space fucked around with this message at 08:18 on Oct 24, 2017

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
Tracking, swap Holy Water for Laumspur.

Jackard
Oct 28, 2007

We Have A Bow And We Wish To Use It

vilkacis posted:

Oh, and now that it's come up, it's totally the Dagger of Vashna he's chewing on here, right?
Yep! The others show up later.

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


HOOLY BOOLY posted:

I'll be mr.contrarian and pick Weaponskill maybe we'll get lucky!
We rolled a 1, which means it's the spear. So that's not ideal.

vilkacis posted:

Leave the dagger at home because I think it might be kind of evil and it's going to be like three sections before the book goes "lose one of your weapons" and that just seems like a bad thing to randomly drop somewhere.
Plus, it never hurts to have a backup magic weapon you can pick up in case you permanently lose your main one. Oh yes, you can permanently lose the Sommerswerd. In multiple places throughout the series.

Added Space posted:

There's a rope that takes up two slots and a rope that only takes one slot, so I always houseruled that I could cut the rope in half to save on inventory space.
I'm assuming the rope is of the normal length, but double thickness. We could have replaced it with that other rope we found a while back though, and may want to keep that option in mind for the next time we find one.

Added Space posted:

I always liked Barraka. Sure, he was trying to resurrect a demon, but he also had a decent raiding and invasion plan as his mainstay. It makes sense for him to invade since the Sommerland army has to be in bad shape after the events of book 1. Here in book 5 he gets posthumous characterization as an ambitious minor noble. He's an excellent blend of venial and supernatural threat, and he lets his work speak for him.
I have no problem with Barraka himself. He's obviously a true believer in the power of evil and doesn't care that the undead army of Vashna would inevitably conquer Vassagonia as well as Sommerlund. It's just all the dudes following him whose motivations are a little less clear. Like, how many of them knew about the "kickstart the apocalypse" part of the plan?

Anyway, it's time to set sail for Vassagonia to get this peace treaty signed, in Part One of Shadow on the Sand.

Shadow on the Sand posted:

For twenty-five days, the Vassagonian galley sails on a steady course for its home port of Barrakeesh, with only a brief stop at the Durenese harbour of Port Bax to break a safe but monotonous voyage.

You use your time aboard the ship to good purpose, learning the Vassagonian language from the ship’s crew. They are only too eager to teach you, asking only in return tales of your adventures in the Lastlands—for many of the sailors, these are the most exciting stories they have ever heard. By the time you reach Barrakeesh, you have both mastered their language and won their respect.



It is early afternoon when the ramparts of the desert capital are first sighted on the horizon. You push your way through the cheering crew, and join the envoy at the prow of the ship. Beaming with pride, he hands you a telescope and invites you to view the land of his birth. The sight is indeed breathtaking. You stare in fascination at the golden domes, minarets, and green-tiled roofs shimmering beneath the desert sun, and marvel at the splendour of the Grand Palace, which dominates this magnificent city. Then you notice that from every golden turret of the palace flutters a long, black pennant. You ask the envoy of the meaning of the black flags. Horror floods across his face as he snatches the telescope from your hands. ‘By the spirit of the Majhan! He is dead … The Zakhan is dead!’

As the bad news spreads through the ship, you pray that the peace treaty will be signed and honoured by the Zakhan’s successor. However, the envoy is less than hopeful.

The harbour of Barrakeesh is deserted save for a handful of citizens clad in black, and the only sound that greets you is the toll of a funeral bell, echoing through the harbour on this day of mourning. Then a horse-drawn carriage enters the harbour square, escorted by the cavalry of the Palace Guard. It halts, and a dour man in turquoise robes steps out to meet you.

‘A thousand greetings, Lone Wolf, I am Maouk, and I welcome you to our city on behalf of my master, his most sublime magnificence, Zakhan Kimah.’

The envoy gasps upon hearing the name of the new Zakhan. He turns to speak, his eyes wild with fear. ‘It is a trap, you must … ’

His warning is cut short by the blade of Maouk’s dagger. Suddenly, scores of black-clad warriors emerge from the shadows; they are Sharnazim, élite Vassagonian bodyguards. They close in, surrounding you on every side. You must act quickly if you are to survive this deadly trap.
Do we "stand and fight against these overwhelming odds", surrender, or run back to the ship?

Well, that went south remarkably quickly. I love how Dever got around the issue of foreign languages here by just saying you spent your time on the ship learning the language so he can just have you be able to understand everything like normal.

Fun fact #1: Every Lone Wolf book but this one has 350 numbered sections. This one has 400 and is broken into two distinct halves.

Fun fact #2: "The Majhan" is the Vassagonian name for the same beings who built Ikaya and trapped those demons there and also the same beings that are commemorated in the Graveyard of the Ancients outside Holmgard. Their proper name is the Shianti and they're part of the strange and complex backstory that we'll be getting into in a lot more depth later on.

achtungnight
Oct 5, 2014
I get my fun here. Enjoy!
Voting for Fight. Overwhelming odds are nothing against the Sommerswerd.

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Kanthulhu
Apr 8, 2009
NO ONE SPOIL GAME OF THRONES FOR ME!

IF SOMEONE TELLS ME THAT OBERYN MARTELL AND THE MOUNTAIN DIE THIS SEASON, I'M GOING TO BE PISSED.

BUT NOT HALF AS PISSED AS I'D BE IF SOMEONE WERE TO SPOIL VARYS KILLING A LANISTER!!!


(Dany shits in a field)
Just run.

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