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Scandinavia was a terrible, terrible mistake and we are paying for it every day.
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Mar 9, 2021 10:51
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Mr. Sunshine posted:Death by semla beats death by button any day of the week. If you've read very far into One Piece, you may think different.
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Mar 9, 2021 11:37
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Mr. Sunshine posted:Adolph Frederick was a chill dude who "died in Stockholm on 12 February 1771 after having consumed a large meal, consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, kippers and champagne, topped off with his favourite dessert: hetvägg, made of semla pastries served in bowls of hot milk" - 14 of them, to be exact.
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Mar 9, 2021 21:39
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Let’s not forget Charles XIII, who chose a peasant from Occitania and one of Napoléon’s generals as his successor. House of Bernadotte, great royal family you have there Sweden.
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Mar 9, 2021 22:03
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Mr. Sunshine posted:There were no fat people in Norway until 1963. Now this is the kind of historical fun fact I come to this thread to discover.
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Mar 9, 2021 22:06
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Sweden was not phallic at the time though, more like a jagged hook due to finland being eastern sweden and denmark owning more of the scandinavian peninsula. So you really should give old Gustav some cred, that birth was much more traumatic than depicted in the comic.
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Mar 9, 2021 22:37
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Red Bones posted:Now this is the kind of historical fun fact I come to this thread to discover. Obesity was invented by the american George J. Obese in 1958, and subsequently exported to Western Europe as part of the Marshall Plan.
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Mar 9, 2021 23:03
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Zudgemud posted:Sweden was not phallic at the time though, more like a jagged hook due to finland being eastern sweden and denmark owning more of the scandinavian peninsula. So you really should give old Gustav some cred, that birth was much more traumatic than depicted in the comic.
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Mar 9, 2021 23:08
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frankenfreak posted:So it looked like a cut cock and balls? A mutant one cut by a drunk sadistic mohel perhaps. 
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Mar 9, 2021 23:27
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Man, I love it when you scandewegians start picking on each other.
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Mar 10, 2021 09:39
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Edgar Allen Ho posted:Let’s not forget Charles XIII, who chose a peasant from Occitania and one of Napoléon’s generals as his successor. House of Bernadotte, great royal family you have there Sweden. I dunno, I would also pick a dude who already showed some competence rather than some aristocratic failson. Also it's a bit weird to call Bernadotte a peasant, the guy's father was an attorney. We're not exactly talking about a country bumpkin here.
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Mar 10, 2021 10:12
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Apparently Bernadotte didn't trust the Swedes not to overthrow him like they did several other kings, so he tried to set up an aristocracy in Norway to make it a more pliable reserve kingdom in case things went south in Sweden.
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Mar 10, 2021 10:49
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A kingdom is like data on a computer : always have a remote backup.
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Mar 10, 2021 10:59
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Oh, are we talking about marshal of France J.B. Bernadotte? Bernadotte "stole" Napoleon's fiancé and married her, was considered an alternative to Nap by other late revolutionary politicians up to and including if he should replace Nap in the Brumaire coup plot, after getting elected to the Swedish throne turned the intended strategy on its head to instead oppose France and join the allies, gave strategic and military advice to the tsar when Napoleon invaded, led one of the armies in the campaign that ended at Waterloo, was later by the victorius allies considered for the kingship of France, ...did I mention he hated Napoleon and Napoleon hated him right back? After Brumaire Nappy Léon made Bernadotte an ambassador, a nice concilitary move for a powerful political opponent which also conveniently would take him out of Paris and the halls of power, yet safe and sound and unmartyred in a nice country. Ambassador to Austria. The Enemy. It went badly. He had a full chest tattoo that read "Death To Kings".
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Mar 10, 2021 11:44
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meatbag posted:Apparently Bernadotte didn't trust the Swedes not to overthrow him like they did several other kings, so he tried to set up an aristocracy in Norway to make it a more pliable reserve kingdom in case things went south in Sweden. Setting up an aristocracy in Norway is like trying to make fish breathe air.
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Mar 10, 2021 12:00
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meatbag posted:Apparently Bernadotte didn't trust the Swedes not to overthrow him like they did several other kings, Aaaw come onnn why so paranoid, we only overthrew some of them and had a French cultural import fetish for a couple hundred years We're trustworthy, honest quote:so he tried to set up an aristocracy in Norway to make it a more pliable reserve kingdom in case things went south in Sweden. Well there's your problem
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Mar 10, 2021 12:00
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ThisIsJohnWayne posted:Oh, are we talking about marshal of France He was an unpopular king in Norway and yet he has a sculpture with the inscription "the love of the people is my reward" In our capital.
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Mar 10, 2021 12:02
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Oh he got unpopular here too, but he had a lot of mistresses. Gives the inscription a different tone.
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Mar 10, 2021 12:35
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Since we're on Scandinavian monarchies, shall we bring up Christian VII of Denmark, who had a mistress called 'Bootie'? Anne Cathrine Benthagen was so called because it was likely her parent/s were shoemakers, and so it might be more accurate to say her nickname is translatable to 'little boot's, but Bootie is funnier than Caligula. Samovar has a new favorite as of 14:56 on Mar 12, 2021 |
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Mar 10, 2021 13:13
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Li'l Booty 
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Mar 10, 2021 14:41
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Christian IV is pretty much the only union king that was popular in Norway. And it's more or less because of two things: He knew how to drink and he founded a lot of cities. Including Kongsberg (the king's mountain) where my father is from (according to local legends he was drunk when he pointed out where it should be).
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Mar 10, 2021 15:56
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The most unpopular union king in Sweden was Christian II, or Christian the Tyrant, and he killed a bunch of nobility in the Bloodbath of Stockholm. We didn't like him because, while a union king, it was the capital w Wrong union. Wrong here means Danish.
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Mar 10, 2021 17:26
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ThisIsJohnWayne posted:The most unpopular union king in Sweden was Christian II, or Christian the Tyrant, and he killed a bunch of nobility in the Bloodbath of Stockholm. We didn't like him because, while a union king, it was the capital w Wrong union. Wrong here means Danish. According to legend the walls of the Schantzsk house in Stockholm has 82 white bricks. One brick for every person that was executed and if the bricks are removed they will come back to haunt Stockholm. Only problem is that it is actually 86 white bricks in the wall.
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Mar 10, 2021 17:48
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More proof that getting too many whites creates problems where there were none before.
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Mar 10, 2021 18:00
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The extra four bricks are a warning, so the king has a little leeway in case anyone else looks at him cock-eyed or danishly
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Mar 10, 2021 18:09
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ThisIsJohnWayne posted:Oh he got unpopular here too, but he had a lot of mistresses. Gives the inscription a different tone. Gives it a dennis reynolds tone Carthag Tuek posted:Li'l Booty Booty Bad rear end
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Mar 10, 2021 18:37
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ThisIsJohnWayne posted:Oh he got unpopular here too Yeah, in Norway we named a street after him. In Sweden you named a mushroom after him.
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Mar 10, 2021 19:00
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Alhazred posted:Fun Historical Fact: The last war Sweden fought was in 1814 when the cowardly swedes attacked the valiant norwegians in order to subjugate them for 91 years. As my friends Norwegian grandfather said after he was told that his grandson was marrying someone from the Dominican Republic: "Uf Da. At least she's not a Swede." Those wounds run deep around Norwegian farmers in Minnesota.
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Mar 10, 2021 21:38
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Ok, help me out. Ages ago I remember there was a discussion on here about Central American societies, and in one of the societies mentioned, it was noted than in contrast to the Nahuatl, who always wore at least loincloths and considered exposed genitals to be obscene, men of this society often went "commando" more or less. They were also a patriarchal society that always had male rulers and in fact considered a neighboring state having a female ruler as being a just casus belli for conquest. But for the life of me I can't remember what civilization was being discussed, and Google is no help. I know I didn't imagine this conversation.
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Mar 13, 2021 00:00
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Was it Germany? They sound like Germans sorry not sorry
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Mar 13, 2021 00:15
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Could it be a New Guinea people, with the koteka "penis sheaths"? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koteka
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Mar 13, 2021 00:27
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No, I'm sure it was in Central America. I think their interactions with the Aztecs were specifically mentioned.
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Mar 14, 2021 08:48
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That was an interesting reading on Scandinavian relationship dynamics and monarchies (for someone with no idea of Scandinavian history, anyway). The most unpopular king in Spain gave the contry to Napoleon, and self-exiled in France with his family. Then when the kingless armies (with English help) kicked the French out of the country, he came back, looked at the newly minted, war-time constitutional-monarchy Constitution and went "what did you do? well we can't have that", and declared himself an absolute monarch again. Fun fact about him, he had really bad problems trying to conceive a descendant. "Went through four wives without success" kinda problems. According to some studies, the guy had a deformity that essentially amounted to him having a gigantic, only half-functional penis, and his wives were recorded as dreading having intercourse with him (dude was probably not the smoothest man in town either). Last one came up with a solution in the form of a donut-shaped cushion that was used during the act to "shorten" the guy and lessen her pain. That way, they say, Isabel II of Spain was conceived. Who then went on to rule, got unwittingly married to a declared homosexual cousin, and got depicted in explicit satirical drawings as having sex with her generals and their horses at the same time. Ended up dethroned and exiled. Then we got a replacement king from Italy, who lasted all of a year before leaving after two separate attempts to kill him on the street. XIX Spain was wild.
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Mar 14, 2021 09:44
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Honestly, these royal marriages sounds more like dog breeding where you originally start with a wolf and end with carefully coaxing two genetic freaks to produce a viable offspring who's hopefully only flaw is that he's slightly insane.
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Mar 14, 2021 10:30
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Alhazred posted:Honestly, these royal marriages sounds more like dog breeding where you originally start with a wolf and end with carefully coaxing two genetic freaks to produce a viable offspring who's hopefully only flaw is that he's slightly insane. If only they ended up with Williams Syndrome, like a dog.
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Mar 14, 2021 10:39
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They should have a system where if you kill the King you become the King, except without the war in between. Actual rule is handled by the parliament, the king is just a figurehead, make it a wrestling type thing. Or MMA type thing I guess because I want it to be real fight. Open weight class, so the king would always be a heavyweight. Makes more sense than how monarchy used to to work, or how it works now.
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Mar 14, 2021 11:01
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Shellception posted:That was an interesting reading on Scandinavian relationship dynamics and monarchies (for someone with no idea of Scandinavian history, anyway). If he was so unpopular why the hell did they let him take back the throne, even if they had to continue having a king you'd think they would have had an easy time finding some other guy of noble descent to give the throne to
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Mar 14, 2021 12:35
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Because God maybe? It could be that stupid.
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Mar 14, 2021 13:11
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drrockso20 posted:If he was so unpopular why the hell did they let him take back the throne, even if they had to continue having a king you'd think they would have had an easy time finding some other guy of noble descent to give the throne to He was unpopular, not stupid. When he came back he pretended to go along with the claims for a more modern monarchy, more freedom and less crown power, and he did so... for like five years, then when he felt cemented enough he went back to the old absolutist ways, but by then there was no way to get rid of him again. That's to say, he wasn't that loved before, but he got really unpopular when he was well secure in the throne. And he also used his military power to war against his cousin Carlos's claim to the throne, leading to a bunch of internal wars. The Carlists* were also absolute monarchists, and even less liked than this guy. Also, see that about poor Amadeus I of Saboya, a king brought from Italy to govern in place of dipshit king's daughter. He isn't even remembered as a bad guy, but he got fed up with people straight up trying to murder him. There really wasn't a long queue of people wanting to govern a backwards, rebellious country. *Random fun fact: a hundred years later, in 1936, an important Carlist general teamed up with Franco and the other rebellious generals during the civil war, with the aim to direct it towards restituting an absolute monarch in the throne. Alas, guy died in a not really well expained plane accident at the start of the war, and the Carlists were forcibly integrated into Falange, the fascist group that supported Franco, where they dissolved. There are some Carlist groups still around in 2021.
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Mar 14, 2021 13:16
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Meanwhile, of the claimants to carlist pretender fought in the french maquis against the nazis Also, imagine being part of a pretender group with like four factions who can't agree on who the current pretender is.
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Mar 14, 2021 13:59
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