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Most of the time I'm not wearing pants when I smoke a bowl, now I have to build a room themed after my own rear end, right?
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Sep 26, 2016 07:29
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Wasabi the J posted:
They have to fill that weird space with something, else the owner might look poor. Also, cloud ceiling. Better or worse with some Raphael Cherubs thrown in?
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Sep 26, 2016 13:32
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I want a statue of David 10 times the size of the original but with my face starting from the ground floor and bursting through that lofted sitting area.
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Sep 26, 2016 14:15
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Jealous Cow posted:I want a statue of David 10 times the size of the original but with my face starting from the ground floor and bursting through that lofted sitting area. That's an awfully long face.
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Sep 26, 2016 14:17
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Platystemon posted:I actually thought that that house was one of the less bad ones, but then I looked at the interior. There are a bunch more photos in that link. The descriptions are good reading and the bird’s eye view of the roofline is horrifying. I think you forgot to mention the best parts - $1.9M, 8,692sq ft, and right next to big rear end high voltage power lines because everyone loves going to sleep listening to the hum of electricity.  The fake brick just look hillariously fake. . . I kinda like the railings and planter box effect it was done well, like not adding in the extra fake "exterior windows" - sure it's tacky and should not be put in every house but if that was the one quirky feature of the house I think it would be kinda neat.  I think the problem with the study is it's just tiny, and the ceiling has too many layers of molding. The other thing that bothers me is that there is a can light and a hanging light literally right next to each other.  I like the idea of the glass block walled shower without a door. I'm guessing it's probably hillariously impractical in real life, but I like the idea. Everything else about the bathroom sucks. . .  "No, you CAN put an arch here!"  The built in cabinet just looks like poo poo, looks like a piece of wal-mart budget furniture but permanent. I will say I stared at the venice canal mural for a few minutes before realizing it was fake. . . I think part of that is due to my eyes being drawn to all the other ugliness in the room. But if they did used that level of realism for the cloud walkway over the retarded walkway (and actually centered the cloud sky. . .) then it would actually be a kinda cool effect. I think the house really exemplifies what makes a McMansion a loving disaster, the owners have this grand idea of what makes a house "luxury" and go way the gently caress over board or half rear end everything trying to cram in every feature possible in. Arches are LUXURY lets have 2 dozen arches in the living room! Who cares if they are off center???? The brick wall effect they tried would be neat if they actually tried to make it look real brick, the sunken floor is retarded when it's just like 1/4 of a room with no purpose for there to be a sunken floor there. . . Sunken floors suck in general in my opinion, but at least make the whole living room a sunken floor instead of just a small sitting area. Wood paneling in the study is kinda cool, until you decided the study has to be claustrophobic. The sitting area on the walkway is a kinda neat idea, if it were a much larger scale like in a hotel to where there was actually room to put furniture without blocking the walkway. . . And the cloud ceiling looks like the kind of clouds you would paint in a kids room. The worst part of all of it is if a house had one or two of these tacky features it would add character, but when every single corner you turn has another column, arch or other "architectural feature" it just looks like the owners are trying to portray having more money. Also what the loving hell do you need 8,692 sq ft for???? Especially when half that space is taken up by retarded sitting areas or Master Bath Extreme Luxury Toilet Throne Rooms with more square footage than a
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Sep 26, 2016 14:59
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To me the main internal problems are cosmetic, sure it looks like rear end but it can be fixed up nice. Also I have a feeling the study is plenty big but they used a wide angle which distorted the image. Probably looks nice but ostentatious in person.
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Sep 26, 2016 15:10
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I guess you can fix a lot of it, but if you can probably get a better fixer-upper with more potential for $1.9m if you had that urge for some reason. Also it has a bunch of things that are hardly comestic: - Terrible two-story foyer serving no purpose - Grand spiral staircase filling up that tower thing - The built-in freezer/fridge is located on the opposite side of the breakfast bar from the stove and also, somehow, both kitchen sinks, which is just poo poo for ever actually using the space. Also, just look at this lovely bedroom:  This building is 8,000 square feet and this bedroom looks like the kind of mediocre cramped poo poo people rented when I was in college. It looks like you would be lucky to fit a dresser and a bookcase in there, probably piled up against the wall where the picture is being taken.
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Sep 26, 2016 15:51
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Ashcans posted:Also, just look at this lovely bedroom: I have no problem if it's a guest bedroom. Any other bedroom, like for the kids or a master bedroom, can gently caress right off in a house that size.
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Sep 26, 2016 16:02
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Why would you put a bookcase and a dresser in a bedroom in a mansion?
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Sep 26, 2016 16:26
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Jerry Cotton posted:Why would you put a bookcase and a dresser in a bedroom in a mansion? Walk in closets for all! I like the DVR or whatever balancing on top of the wall mounted TV though.
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Sep 26, 2016 17:11
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Darth123123 posted:Walk in closets for all! I like the DVR or whatever balancing on top of the wall mounted TV though. I think that's just a poorly placed shelf
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Sep 26, 2016 17:22
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That 3 step sunken floor is just waiting to break grandma's hip. And what's the deal with that gap in the wall of the study? It feels like there should be shelves or a cabinet there. Also you'd have to shuffle past the chair and the elephant to get behind the desk. Maybe that's just the realtor cramming poo poo in for the photos.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:03
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Jerry Cotton posted:Why would you put a bookcase and a dresser in a bedroom in a mansion? To bring to your life your soulless all beige bedroom, so that you can stare at all the books you've read from the comfort of your 600 lb beige king-sized bed, and when you rise to go to your soul-sucking corporate job that pays enough for you to barely afford this housing monstrosity, you can put on your beige shirt and beige slacks, and contemplate how your life became the literal incarnation of a quickly-forgotten '90s pop hit.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:48
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Just for fun I was drawing my "unlimited budget dream house" sort of fantasy and it came in at about 2,000 sqft. My peasant brain can't even imagine what to do with more space than that.
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Sep 26, 2016 19:14
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A White Guy posted:To bring to your life your soulless all beige bedroom, so that you can stare at all the books you've read from the comfort of your 600 lb beige king-sized bed, and when you rise to go to your soul-sucking corporate job that pays enough for you to barely afford this housing monstrosity, you can put on your beige shirt and beige slacks, and contemplate how your life became the literal incarnation of a quickly-forgotten '90s pop hit. No way any of the books on that theoretical mcmansion bookcase would have been read.
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Sep 26, 2016 19:20
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Baronjutter posted:Just for fun I was drawing my "unlimited budget dream house" sort of fantasy and it came in at about 2,000 sqft. My peasant brain can't even imagine what to do with more space than that. Copy & paste a few times. Handy when company comes over, renovations are underway, &c. You set aside room for servants’ quarters, right?
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Sep 26, 2016 19:33
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I purposefully didn't have any guest bedroom/suite because I don't want to have people staying over 
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Sep 26, 2016 22:09
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Baronjutter posted:I purposefully didn't have any guest bedroom/suite because I don't want to have people staying over Yes but when you and your wife are separated but not in a legal sense because of tax purposes, where will the other of you stay? 
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Sep 26, 2016 22:18
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Have there been an McMansion dog houses posted? I bet they exist.
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Sep 26, 2016 22:33
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Crotch Fruit posted:
For that genuine "university pool locker room" feeling. I always have to remind myself that in every realtor's interior picture, the photographer is crammed up against the wall as hard as possible. There's a tendency to imagine that the room continues behind the camera, but it never ever does. Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Sep 26, 2016 |
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Sep 26, 2016 23:07
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Sagebrush posted:For that genuine "university pool locker room" feeling. This particular room has a shot in the other direction to test your theory: 
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Sep 26, 2016 23:23
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Think about how far back you'd have to be to to get the full view of that vanity opposite shower, and the part of the vanity on the same side as the shower. They're absolutely sitting on that makeup station to get that picture.
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Sep 26, 2016 23:31
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Platystemon posted:This particular room has a shot in the other direction to test your theory: Oh, *there's* the second sink. I saw that hugeass long bathroom counter with only a single sink in the other shot and I thought "Geeze, what a couple of poors."
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Sep 26, 2016 23:43
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I love the accent lights under the cabinets in that bathroom. Why do that? who the gently caress knows, maybe they just needed a way to shame the maid for sloppy work on occasion.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:13
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Crotch Fruit posted:I think the problem with the study is it's just tiny, and the ceiling has too many layers of molding. The other thing that bothers me is that there is a can light and a hanging light literally right next to each other. I think you will find it is, in fact, Texas‐sized. quote:The private study on the first floor features built-in shelving and book cases and is ideal as an in-home office. Note the marble tile floor, block ceiling, plantation shutters and plenty of room for Texas size furniture. `Nemesis posted:I love the accent lights under the cabinets in that bathroom. Why do that? who the gently caress knows, maybe they just needed a way to shame the maid for sloppy work on occasion. Whatever it’s for, it’s a selling point. quote:The opulent master bath has dual granite vanities, under cabinet lighting, massive amounts of storage & walk-in glass block shower. Note the heated towel bar and the extensive mirrors. Door to the right leads to huge walk-in closet with wood floors quote:The walk-up jetted tub is in a separate alcove with its own heated towel bar. Party-size walk-in shower with custom glass block wall. The doorway ahead to the right leads to the commode room.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:24
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 I’m the interior window boxes.  I’m the quirky cue‐holding statue.  I’m the the tiny decorative ceiling fan.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:27
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I don't want a goddamn heated towel, the last thing I want after a hot shower is a hot towel, ugh. That whole house has like 18 shades of brown and somehow each of them is the ugliest. Burn it down. Just burn it.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:27
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That bathroom has no toilet.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:35
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I liike the shower has no way to keep that awesome steam in or drafts out. I also like the 1.5 inch drop floor on tile so rich people bang their toes on it.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:45
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Facebook Aunt posted:That bathroom has no toilet. Maybe it's in the shower.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:46
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Maybe it's in the shower. It’s in THE COMMODE ROOM.
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Sep 27, 2016 00:48
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Maybe it's in the shower. Maybe it's the owner
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Sep 27, 2016 00:51
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I'm thinking that the pool cue holder is directly out of Sky Mall or somesuch.
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Sep 27, 2016 01:02
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"Party-size walk-in shower"
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Sep 27, 2016 01:24
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What do they mean by "party-sized shower?" Is this some kind of code phrase that means the sellers are DTF? e: aa what the gently caress. You beat me, but my post time is 1 minute before yours??
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Sep 27, 2016 01:23
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Sagebrush posted:What do they mean by "party-sized shower?" Oh good, the forums are now moving back through time.
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Sep 27, 2016 01:32
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Sagebrush posted:e: aa what the gently caress. You beat me, but my post time is 1 minute before yours?? [race conditions intensify]
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Sep 27, 2016 01:43
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Platystemon posted:It’s in THE COMMODE ROOM. If I ever design a house that has a master bathroom I would have some sort of toilet stall, actual water closet, or partition.
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Sep 27, 2016 01:53
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You spend millions on a house made entirely of brown, but not like 50 cents on a cable duct for that TV corner?
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Sep 27, 2016 08:08
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My Lovely Horse posted:You spend millions on a house made entirely of brown, but not like 50 cents on a cable duct for that TV corner? I was wondering the same thing...On a positive note, I like the flooring.
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Sep 27, 2016 13:02
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