r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Involuntary Sparkle: Aug 12, 2004; Chemo-kitties can have �accidents� too!

Kenshin posted:

She's recently gotten on ADHD medication but is looking to change it up or increase the dose because it still hasn't made much difference.

I'm on Concerta (a specific form of extended release methylphenidate) and it works for me; I had to try Adderall for a short time because my insurance had stopped covering any extended release methylphenidate, and the Adderall did nothing for me. Anecdotal but it definitely could be just needing to change it, as you say.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 12:28

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Cowslips Warren posted:

WIBTA if I don’t tell my husband I want to try to choose our child’s gender?

She would need five kids to get a statistically significant result for this "experiment." It's not the kind of thing an individual can meaningfully test, but if she tries this and gets a baby boy, she'll probably attribute it to this anyway.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:26

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

Dollars to donuts cock ring man just bought a cock ring but thought it was sound less embarrassing to have found it.

And I guess in theory if you actually compared like, "found a new in box cock ring on the ground" vs "bought a cockring" FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE it might be less embarrassing but not a used one, no.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:30

Huggybear: Jun 17, 2005; I got the jimjams

Breetai posted:

There is an entire online community devoted to convincing people who think their dicks are too small that they are, that they cannot possibly be pleasing their partners despite all evidence to the contrary, and there is one true path to fixing their problem which is penile origami. He likely is speaking to men about this.

One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:32

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Bored posted:

I mean, i know the hobbits put the ring on their fingers, but i don�t think Tolkien ever specified that the ring has to be a finger ring.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:38

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for saying I don't want to raise kids with my gf if we don't do Kwanzaa?

This is an interesting one. Shoehorning religious and cultural traditions has been going on about as long as history (saturnalia/christmas, etc), but is it better to lean into that or resist? Growing up it was always suspect that Hanukkah coming from a different calendar was celebrated at Christmastime even when it required creative scheduling, but maybe that's better than being ignored altogether?

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:46

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Growing up it was always suspect that Hanukkah coming from a different calendar was celebrated at Christmastime even when it required creative scheduling, but maybe that's better than being ignored altogether?

...huh?

# ? Sep 28, 2023 02:54

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Bruceski posted:

...huh?

lunar vs solar calendar. maybe my experience is specific to northeastern US public schools, but Hannukah was always a sideshow around Christmas holiday stuff regardless of when it came around that specific year.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:07

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lunar vs solar calendar. maybe my experience is specific to northeastern US public schools, but Hannukah was always a sideshow around Christmas holiday stuff regardless of when it came around that specific year.

The "always around Christmas" was what threw me. Where I grew up you'd get it having some lip service, they sing the Dreidel Song in the "winter" concert (I hate that song and Sevivon Sov Sov Sov, learn some good songs! Maoz Tzur is a classic, Mi Yimalel has some lovely round stuff going on, we don't have 70 years of pop music backing up our repitoire but that doesn't mean we have to sing about dreidels every dang year!), but if it lands at Thanksgiving we celebrated it at Thanksgiving and nobody was trying to pretend we didn't.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:30

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

I thought it was a December holiday, didn't realize it could shift around so much.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:36

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Bored posted:

I mean, i know the hobbits put the ring on their fingers, but i don�t think Tolkien ever specified that the ring has to be a finger ring.

It likpates.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:41

Cockmaster: Feb 24, 2002

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for saying I don't want to raise kids with my gf if we don't do Kwanzaa?

If someone buys into that Cro-Magnon "Suffering builds character" crap in any context, you're definitely better off not raising kids with them.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:46

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

Khanstant posted:

I thought it was a December holiday, didn't realize it could shift around so much.

The Jewish calendar uses a Leap Month (when applicable Adar is followed by "also Adar", I'm serious) so it can get pretty big out of sync with the solar calendar. American Thanksgiving is about the earliest it can land.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 03:50

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for telling my parents that the only way they were getting child support for my kid they have custody of was to take me to court. I knew what the outcome would be.

quote:

I used to be a bit of a manwhore. I was a bartender while I figured out what I wanted to do with my life.

Right around the time I decided on university a woman I knew showed up at my parents' house looking for me. She has my daughter with her.

My parents called me and told me I needed to come home and take care of my kid. I told them I knew for a fact I hadn't knocked anyone up. They didn't believe me. They chose to believe this stranger instead. They took her in but she bailed and left the kid about a month later.

She left the birth certificate so my parents were able to get custody. They have been raising her for six years now. I have avoided my parents for six years now. They used money they had saved for my education to pay for the kid's needs.

My parents are getting closer to retirement and they are still raising a child. They called me to tell me I needed to support my daughter. I said no. They said that they would take me to court. I said go ahead it's the only way you will get a cent from me.

And they did. They sued me.

Some fun facts they did not know that I did.

I never slept with that woman.

I wasn't on the country when the kid was conceived. I was working on a cruise ship.

The reason the mother didn't come after me for child support is because it is not my signature on the birth certificate.

Most importantly. I'm gay. Have never had any question that women are not for me.

The last one is why I don't really communicate with my parents. They are religious whackos. I saw how they treated gay people while I was growing up and I got out as soon as I could.

Now they are stuck. They have a kid that they are doing their moral duty as good people to raise since I won't.

My brother says that I should have been more explicit when I told them I knew it wasn't my kid. He says I'm an rear end in a top hat for "tricking" them.

I said it wasn't my kid.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:08

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

You do not, in fact, have to feel sorry for the bigot parents.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:24

Cockmaster: Feb 24, 2002

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my parents that the only way they were getting child support for my kid they have custody of was to take me to court. I knew what the outcome would be.

Talk about burying the lede.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:26

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Cowslips Warren posted:

WIBTA if I don�t tell my husband I want to try to choose our child�s gender?

eat apples for a boy and watermelons for a girl

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:34

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

How could I forget about magick cock rings.

There is an entire professionally published fantasy series about magic cock rings, and I am not making this up. Anne Bishop's Black Jewels series. Women I know like to howl at each other in disbelief... and then reread.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:38

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

There was one very WTF AITA where a lesbian couple wanted to have a child related to them both, and one wanted her father to be the donor to her wife. Wife said no.

so instead let's have some business AITA!

AITA because my Wife wants me to sell the business I LOVE because I'm away 4 months a year

quote:

Sorry if this gets long. Throw away account.

Ok, my wife (35F) and I (42M) have been together for 14 years. This year, after 9 years of University and residency, she is officially an MD (Anesthesiology, which is why it took 9 years). I'm incredibly proud of her.

Now, I'm a Tuna fisherman/Charter owner. I own two boats and licenses through my company. I bought the first license at 21, the second at 25. Both are now paid off. I make a very good living (I charge 2000$ for a day of tuna fishing, per person up to 5 clients per day from July 15th to November 15th, and am booked at least a year in advance). But the money, while obviously important, isn't the draw for me. This is truly my passion, it's the only job I've ever known, and I can't imagine my life without it.

I left this year the first week of July, as I always do, but this year my wife has started insisting that I start to think about selling the licenses and boats, because she feels it's time to start a family and that since she's a doctor, I should sell them to stay home, raise our children, and be home all year. I told her in no uncertain terms that I love her, I want children with her, but I am not now, or for the foreseeable future, selling my business or giving up the business that I have loved since I first went tuna fishing with my father when I was 12. I would be miserable without it.

Now, I want to be clear, my wife has no power over my business. I got an iron-clad prenup to protect my business and home/property before we got married. It doesn't protect our personal assets or accounts. She would be entitled to half of our savings. And it's not like my wife was hard done by. She didn't pay a penny for her education, I footed the bill to the tune of hundreds of thousands, I paid for our home, bought her a vehicle to travel to school with. So there's no financial abuse on my part. Her issue with my job is that I'm not home for 4 months a year (We live in Ontario, Canada, but my charter boats are on the southeastern shore of Nova Scotia), and that my job is "dangerous". She knew both of these things from our very first date.

My wife is adamant that she wants this done, and it just isn't happening. She keeps saying how she'll be so busy as a doctor that she can't be home to raise kids, but personally I don't see how that's any different than my situation, aside from me actually having 8 months a year off. I'm not sure why she thinks that I should give up my dream job now that she has attained hers. Personally, I feel that she's ashamed to tell her new snooty work friends that I am a fisherman, even though I make as much or more as they do, as this literally began as soon as she started her new job and started hanging around with a much "higher class" of people. A class of people I'm not fond of, but I would never tell her who to have as friends. She denies this, but the way she suddenly altered her friend circle and started fighting with me about this as soon as she finished her residency and started her new job with new friends tells me otherwise. She also has expressed interest in selling our property (120 acres) to move to a condo in the city, and that's another area I just won't compromise. I did offer her that we could look at buying a condo and living there during winters, but I am not selling my property. She also doesn't want to accept that. I am willing to compromise, but this is my home and we can afford it, I am not giving it up. When I'm not working, I'm hunting and fishing (sport fishing, not commercial fishing as my career) on this land, it's my favourite place in the world that isn't the Atlantic Ocean.

I have no intention of retiring for at least another 25 years, and when I do, I plan to give the licenses and gear to my son from a previous relationship, and the reason I built this business to begin with, I never wanted my son to see me as a failure. He's 20, and is a mate on my second boat.

My wife seems to think im an rear end in a top hat because I "Want to be gone from her four months a year", and because with my investment portfolio and business worth multiple million dollars, I absolutely could retire and live well. I think she's the rear end in a top hat, because she seems to think that I should be miserable in order to make her happy. I'm honestly not sure my marriage can survive this because there is absolutely no chance that I am selling my business or retiring. But am I wrong here? Am I the rear end in a top hat? I literally spent a decade making her life as easy as it possibly could be (I'm in no way saying Med school is easy, but she finished with no debt or responsibilities outside of the home, few med students can say that). I also feel there's been a big change in the way she looks at me and my profession ever since she became a doctor. The profession that paid for her to get where she is today. I am who I am, a country boy who had a dream to make a living doing something he loved. I feel like she feels that having a "Fisherman husband" is embarrassing now that she's a doctor.

Theres three things I want to be clear about before people go there:

Nobody is cheating or suspects the other is cheating

Never has there been an expectation that I would retire young. I never suggested it, and she never brought it up until these past couple of months.

We can afford whatever help we would need to help with future children for the months I'm gone, but she "Doesn't want her kids raised by nannies".

So Reddit, Am I the rear end in a top hat? If my marriage falls apart, is this my fault? Because this is weighing extremely heavy on me right now, but I don't feel I'm in the wrong in any way.

Thanks in advance for opinions and advice.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:40

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Is black jewels the next step after blue balls?

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:41

Quackles: Aug 11, 2018; Pixels of Light.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my parents that the only way they were getting child support for my kid they have custody of was to take me to court. I knew what the outcome would be.

that spoiler tho :eyepop:

# ? Sep 28, 2023 04:56

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

you said it wasn't your kid, but we didn't believe you. turns out you were telling the truth. you tricked us!

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:05

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Cowslips Warren posted:

My wife wants to name our daughter �Ebony�

Ebony Marinoff is white. And if the name is good enough for a 3 time AFLW premiership player, then it sure as gently caress is good enough for your kid OP.

BrigadierSensible fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Sep 28, 2023

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:09

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for telling my parents that the only way they were getting child support for my kid they have custody of was to take me to court. I knew what the outcome would be.

How is being gay more of a gotcha than being out of the country? There are plenty of gay men that have knocked up women, but physically being on a cruise ship away from the mother is going to be authoritative regardless of attraction or orientation.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:24

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

How is being gay more of a gotcha than being out of the country? There are plenty of gay men that have knocked up women, but physically being on a cruise ship away from the mother is going to be authoritative regardless of attraction or orientation.

He's saying he's literally never been interested in (or slept with) a woman so it's impossible.

I don't know why you'd think they'd even believe that he was gone with receipts at this rate.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:34

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Moreover he thinks of being gay as more important because it�s part of his identity while �was on a cruise� isn�t even though that�s more of an ironclad reason.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:43

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

He said his parents are religious freaks so it was probably part of their denial that their son is gay

Believing that their son fathered a grandson for them and was a deadbeat father was easier for them to deal with than acknowledging who he actually is

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:43

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

There�s a case to be made he should have shown up to prove he wasn�t the father just for the kid�s sake. She�s being raised by bad people and I can�t see things getting better now that they�ll think they were tricked into taking her.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:49

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Midnight Voyager posted:

He's saying he's literally never been interested in (or slept with) a woman so it's impossible.

I don't know why you'd think they'd even believe that he was gone with receipts at this rate.

It's hard to account for reasoning undermined by brain worms, but either parent being gay has never been a major obstacle to having children while being physically seperated is super effective.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:53

Barudak: May 7, 2007

You heard of jizz wailers well get ready for jizz mailers

# ? Sep 28, 2023 05:55

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

You'd think they'd have read the birth certificate that they had.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:12

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

I get not revealing the spoiler, but everything until then probably should have been disclosed when this whole thing happened in the first place. Unless he was trying to screw his parents over from the start.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:14

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Pirate Radar posted:

There�s a case to be made he should have shown up to prove he wasn�t the father just for the kid�s sake. She�s being raised by bad people and I can�t see things getting better now that they�ll think they were tricked into taking her.

Random person shows up at your parents' place claiming she has your kid.

You deny it. Your parents refuse to believe you.

Why should you have to then pay to travel to disprove this ridiculousness?

They could have just gotten a DNA test and seen that the kid had no relation to either "grandparent" and that was that.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:19

AbstractBlacksmith: Mar 26, 2013

Arsenic Lupin posted:

There is an entire professionally published fantasy series about magic cock rings, and I am not making this up. Anne Bishop's Black Jewels series. Women I know like to howl at each other in disbelief... and then reread.

Aaand now I need to reread this series for the nth time. Thank you for reminding me it exists.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:28

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

From Ask a Manager: should I tell my employee she needs to give a clearer �no� to a client who�s interested in her?

Alison had Words to say about this idea, as did many commenters.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:29

BrigadierSensible: Feb 16, 2012; I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

How is being gay more of a gotcha than being out of the country? There are plenty of gay men that have knocked up women, but physically being on a cruise ship away from the mother is going to be authoritative regardless of attraction or orientation.

I would argue that being out of the country is an ironclad legally factual reason.

But him being gay is more salacious, and more of a gently caress you to his bigotted parents who refused to accept him for who he is, and even still are trying to paint him as hetero, (and a deadbeat arsehole because it furthers their narrative.)

So of course he saves that for a reveal with a flourish, as opposed to the cold boring fact of not being in the same country at the time of conception

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:34

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

trickybiscuits posted:

From Ask a Manager: should I tell my employee she needs to give a clearer �no� to a client who�s interested in her?

Alison had Words to say about this idea, as did many commenters.

OP's best move would be to talk to the customer himself.

OP also needs to have a staff meeting about this sort of situation and make the messaging very clear: if anyone fucks with you, you are clear to reduce them to a soup-like homogenate, and the janitor will mop them up and everyone (else) moves on with their lives.

e.

BrigadierSensible posted:

So of course he saves that for a reveal with a flourish, as opposed to the cold boring fact of not being in the same country at the time of conception

Of course he did something with a flourish, his parents are overdue for having their bigotry rubbed in their faces.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:43

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Kenshin posted:

Random person shows up at your parents' place claiming she has your kid.

You deny it. Your parents refuse to believe you.

Why should you have to then pay to travel to disprove this ridiculousness?

They could have just gotten a DNA test and seen that the kid had no relation to either "grandparent" and that was that.

Well, because there�s a kid who�s being raised by bigots who will someday resent her deeply. I agree that he shouldn�t have to pay or be inconvenienced to fix this of course.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:44

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Pirate Radar posted:

Well, because there�s a kid who�s being raised by bigots who will someday resent her deeply. I agree that he shouldn�t have to pay or be inconvenienced to fix this of course.

It'd be great if someone rescued the kid from this situation, but it's not an obligation on OP.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 06:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 31, 2024 12:28

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

BrigadierSensible posted:

Ebony Marinoff is white. And if the name is good enough for a 3 time AFLW premiership player, then it sure as gently caress is good enough for your kid OP.

Oh, easy way to not be an rear end in a top hat then. They can just move to Australia.

# ? Sep 28, 2023 07:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

«‹›3575 »