drunk thread 2k16: Oh that reminds me, I should delete my browser history

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > drunk thread 2k16: Oh that reminds me, I should delete my browser history

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CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTYvjrM6djo

this one is just kinda up beat and I like it. i've considerered airbrushing make up like this. I don't really care for this version because it seems sped up over the album version

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:06

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 07:37

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8NZa9wYZ_U

every 10 years or so I fall in love and it's just like this dumb gay song every time

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:08

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

sometimes its also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8YAzDDOCbY

but sometimes its

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nNF9aQ_BhE

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:12

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

but more realistically its this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D00M2KZH1J0

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:13

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

it always ends up like this though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zsSiJ7_E9o

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:14

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kijpcUv-b8M

for my freddos out there

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:18

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

also this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8s9dmuAKvU

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:19

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

that rare moment when you wake up feeling like it might not be a horrible soul crushing day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQUlA8Hcv4s

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:22

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

then you know you just aint getting mr blue sky because

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvEexTomE1I

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:25

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

then you spiral off into deep 80s depression poo poo because you know you'll be alone forever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UR2TFUp8w

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:28

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

then you realize like man that shits way too sad so you switch over to Erasure even though it's the same poo poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiKVjS3gR88

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:32

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Just had this pop into my head so now I'm listening to it https://youtu.be/0Uc3ZrmhDN4

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:32

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

HCT you going crazy boyo!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQ6cp2T76lY

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:33

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

thank you for stopping me I was going until that happened or I passed out

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:33

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

i'm just having fun man idk

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:33

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

then you realize this poo poo is like the most sex having song ever god drat that guitar solo (i like the bass line too if you saw this before edit)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LaqMwE5NKaM

You gotta wait for it

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 08:40 on Dec 28, 2016

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:36

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Here's one I haven't listened to in a while https://youtu.be/XycBLF6kWuY

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:36

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

Queen II probably my favorite Queen album though Innuendo is close

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hytYgRmzTs

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:50

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4Mc-NYPHaQ

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Dec 28, 2016

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:53

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uib0FHnf0FQ

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 16:19 on Dec 28, 2016

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:54

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go2jbER0wk0

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Dec 28, 2016

# ? Dec 28, 2016 08:58

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwSZvHqf9qM

CHICKEN SHOES fucked around with this message at 16:18 on Dec 28, 2016

# ? Dec 28, 2016 09:00

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

Yo.. HTC..

I hear you..

I've been there... https://youtu.be/ev-bR9ii7Gs

gently caress. Im still here.. https://youtu.be/cOBPiOdyGEM

You aren't alone.. https://youtu.be/VEJ8lpCQbyw

Really I'm just saying... https://youtu.be/8UXircX3VdM

# ? Dec 28, 2016 11:11

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

Its 5 in the morning and I'm slumming around SA while watching Hitler doccus on AHC. Been awake since monday afternoon. Im in pain from either intestinal cramping, a perforation or kidney stones.

Also just learned that Eva Braun tried to commit suicide by shooting herself in the neck.

Honestly, Im kinda mad my buddies revived me after I drown in that lake back in 04.

# ? Dec 28, 2016 11:26

Kuroyama: Sep 15, 2012; no fucking Anime in GiP

Genocide Tendency posted:

Its 5 in the morning and I'm slumming around SA while watching Hitler doccus on AHC. Been awake since monday afternoon. Im in pain from either intestinal cramping, a perforation or kidney stones.

Also just learned that Eva Braun tried to commit suicide by shooting herself in the neck.

Honestly, Im kinda mad my buddies revived me after I drown in that lake back in 04.

Hope you get better soon. And don't be mad, we'd all miss you.

If it makes you feel better, it's 5AM and I'm slumming around SA reading about nerds talk about fantasy sex during Dungeons and Dragons. Because I'm lame as poo poo.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3647634&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=826#post467728401

# ? Dec 28, 2016 11:42

Hot Karl Marx: Mar 16, 2009; Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!

I'm sicker than poo poo cause I'm apparently allergic to my family members (or their kids are petri dishes of infections)

been listening to this kinda classic album that I forgot i love:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCwm08sTA5U

# ? Dec 28, 2016 14:11

Kuroyama: Sep 15, 2012; no fucking Anime in GiP

https://twitter.com/lornekates/status/814141480365359104

# ? Dec 28, 2016 21:23

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Crossposting from the Idiots On Social Media thread because it's loving hilarious

Happy Seafood Guy posted:

First paragraph is normal enough. Just a friendly guy asking a girl on a date in an awkward way, but hey! Christmas spirit!

Second paragraph is getting weird.

Third paragraph will be evidence in a trial.

Joyce Tick is Lucas. Clara Fication calls him out a couple times, but most of the comments are people supporting their buddy Lucas in his right to not be asked by a private business to stop creeping on their employees. The last post is just an excerpt from a blog post I didn't fit in the screencap. I'm not sure it wasn't part of his love letter, but I'd like to think it was.

He keeps linking to his blog throughout the comments as a way of furthering his point, I think? "But you see, here is a picture of what I had for dinner with some information about my age-defying jizz cream all the ladies (26 AND YOUNGER ONLY) need in their lives. I have no idea why I was asked to leave."

Bless this person. My guess is that they know exactly what they're doing and want to make this public for people like us to poo poo all over.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:05

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

loving lucas

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:18

TheQuietWilds: Sep 8, 2009

hey real quick can someone post the Shim-post about not marrying the AF Intel officer and the kid crying over his girlfriend becoming the MCPON I need them for something

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:23

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH posted:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:28

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Easily the best post to have ever graced GiP.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:29

TheQuietWilds: Sep 8, 2009

Hahaha yes, excellent. Do you have the one that ends with the kid addressing a bootcamp class as MCPON?

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:35

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

I don't remember that one, sorry. Somebody else will have to dig it up.

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:37

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Having worked at starbucks I feel comfortable advocating for a special silent alarm for baristas to press when unaccompanied adult males order hot chocolates

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:38

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

I would love to read the angry posts vasudus made when that lovely dependent came on gip demanding to be respected. It was from 2012-2013

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:42

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Pesticide20 posted:

Crossposting from the Idiots On Social Media thread because it's loving hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB9fwJDweaU

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:47

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Zeris posted:

Having worked at starbucks I feel comfortable advocating for a special silent alarm for baristas to press when unaccompanied adult males order hot chocolates

I like hot chocolate :saddowns:

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:50

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

I like hot chocolate

The baristas know the difference when you order :blush:

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:51

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 07:37

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

the baristas at my local starbucks would know me as "that guy who always orders a pumpkin spice latte when someone else is footing the bill."

# ? Dec 29, 2016 05:52

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > drunk thread 2k16: Oh that reminds me, I should delete my browser history

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