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One lady used to talk about how all the First Nation students were lazy and criminals and there isn't any point in teaching them anything, but it turned out that she had a brain tumor, but when I told someone that they said that she'd been racist for as long as she'd been teaching and used to hate having to teach Black students.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:11
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"Blood is a good source of food and salt!"
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Jan 23, 2015 21:11
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Co-worker #1 likes to start chatting yet the conversation is a continuation of a conversation she was having earlier. With someone else. In another room. Co-worker #2 "Those assholes would see Christ dragging the cross and complain about the marks he left on the floor" (said at least once a week for 5 years now)
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Jan 23, 2015 21:13
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shipwrek posted:Co-worker #2 "Those assholes would see Christ dragging the cross and complain about the marks he left on the floor" (said at least once a week for 5 years now) The saying that appears every few days from different people at my work is "this metal is as hard as a preacher's dick". It's been going for years, I even say it sometimes.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:18
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"More better" *Falls asleep, snores distractingly* *wakes me up with his snoring* Re: seeing these forums on my screen "what the gently caress are you looking at" wrt seeing a particularly hosed up username
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Jan 23, 2015 21:19
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smokyprogg posted:"You know, if you unscrew a lightbulb loose enough that it flickers, ghosts know what you're doing and will start communicating through it" "I don't know what it is, it's like latent psychic energy that I have, cuz whenever I walk under a streetlight, the light bulb blows out!" *Ignores the hundreds of thousands of streetlights that didn't do this when she walked under them, focuses on the twenty or so that did* *Doesn't know many streetlights are on dim timers and shut off every so often, then build back up gradually, to save electricity* *Also she wants to tell me about positive and negative energy in my body and I want to loving slap her face*
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Jan 23, 2015 21:19
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"You hear that piece of poo poo Marion Barry died?! Thank god! Now we just need to get that other one out of office!"
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Jan 23, 2015 21:24
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Aww marion barry died?
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Jan 23, 2015 21:25
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He microwaved ketchup every single day for lunch. Didn't matter what he brought in, noodles, rice, sandwich, he'd just cover it with ketchup and then microwave it causing the whole office to reek.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:34
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Jehde posted:He microwaved ketchup every single day for lunch. Didn't matter what he brought in, noodles, rice, sandwich, he'd just cover it with ketchup and then microwave it causing the whole office to reek. epic troll
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Jan 23, 2015 21:35
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Cymoril posted:They also veered straight into, "Why is the government taking our guns? Why are they disarming us? Because they're afraid!" ROFL
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Jan 23, 2015 21:35
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"we need to free up some cash to buy more reefer" "woah wait a minute there, you're not leaving me on the hook for this reefer" im giggling away, while the trucking industry accountants are not seeing any humor in these statements.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:39
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*is vietnamese* *microwaves seafood dish* *boss literally gags then bans sea food* I miss you duong tran, your lunches making boss lady gag were hilarious (also tasty, thx for sharing your tasty vietnamese dishes with me)
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Jan 23, 2015 21:43
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"She's a jew. Her color is very light. Look at her skin--it's pale, her hair is brown, and her eyes are yellow." (about another coworker, who was an Asian lady) "Sure we are using unit testing. We are testing to make sure our units work." (I get laughed out of the meeting room at this point. The next six months of this project are a complete disaster.) "Hey, hey, did you hear about what happened to [lovely old man coworker]? No you don't get it, you'll understand when you're older. What? Don't tell him, don't say anything." *continues the rest of the lunch conversation with other people at the table by whispering into their ears* I am so glad that I'm an unemployed parasite right now...
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Jan 23, 2015 21:54
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Can't do any from my current job since a few managers are goons, but a previous job at a bank was great: Greek customer speaking Greek on phone stops talking on the phone and says goodbye to me IN ENGLISH as he left. Teller: "What was he saying on the phone? Me: "He was speaking Greek, I don't know. I'm Italian, I speak Italian." Teller: "I thought Europeans speak European."
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Jan 23, 2015 21:55
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Fetus Tree posted:*is vietnamese* Office microwaves are the most hilarious social weapons known to man.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:56
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AssassinPrincess posted:Office microwaves are the most hilarious social weapons known to man. It's true! Especially when people microwave two day old kim chee. The whole office stinks like a goddamned sewer.
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Jan 23, 2015 21:58
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metal is good - an actual opinion of somebody at work
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Jan 23, 2015 21:58
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"Im going to murder the boss"
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Jan 23, 2015 22:00
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Storgar posted:"She's a jew. Her color is very light. Look at her skin--it's pale, her hair is brown, and her eyes are yellow." (about another coworker, who was an Asian lady) I love this thread.
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Jan 23, 2015 22:04
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"The reason you see so many fat women these days is because of the hormones they give animals like cows and chickens. You see more fat black women bacause they are closer to animals so it affects them more."
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Jan 23, 2015 22:12
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"We've just broken quarterly profit records! Congrats!" *Enacts cost saving measures and threatens layoffs next quarter.*
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Jan 23, 2015 22:15
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WorldsStrongestNerd posted:"The reason you see so many fat women these days is because of the hormones they give animals like cows and chickens. You see more fat black women bacause they are closer to animals so it affects them more." Whoa
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Jan 23, 2015 22:17
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"Who the gently caress is Bob Dylan"
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Jan 23, 2015 22:18
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Anorexic Sea Turtle posted:"We've just broken quarterly profit records! Congrats!"
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Jan 23, 2015 22:19
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"When you take PCP, you want the trip to stop all you have to do is drink a glass of milk" "I don't drink anything that's brown anymore because that gives you diabetes"
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Jan 23, 2015 22:20
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WorldsStrongestNerd posted:"The reason you see so many fat women these days is because of the hormones they give animals like cows and chickens. You see more fat black women bacause they are closer to animals so it affects them more." I love how dumb White people have such trouble with Black people. A few years ago a goon on here mentioned that when he was at Basic Training a guy from the South was confused because he'd always been told that Black people have short, stumpy tails.
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Jan 23, 2015 22:22
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FogHelmut posted:"we need to free up some cash to buy more reefer" At a small meeting with my boss and a few others: "Hungry Joe, you're on drugs right?" Me(high in meeting), "uhhh. Oh ya, I do drug authorizations" Lol
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Jan 23, 2015 22:24
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WorldsStrongestNerd posted:"The reason you see so many fat women these days is because of the hormones they give animals like cows and chickens. You see more fat black women bacause they are closer to animals so it affects them more." I loving hate this poo poo man! My coworkers would say stuff like this all the time and everyone paid attention like it's not completely insane. "I believe that brain waves can affect your surroundings." (no, not that you can influence people with some positive attitude, he literally believes you can move things with your goddamn mind) "According to doctors, you should be taking 6 grams of vitamin C a day. Believe me, I have a PhD in biology and I've done some studies" (After inquiring about this, his "studies" were a couple google searches he did while bored and sitting at his desk one day. Yes, somehow he does have a PhD in Biology. And another one in Physics.) Storgar fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Jan 23, 2015 |
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Jan 23, 2015 22:24
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City of Tampa posted:The saying that appears every few days from different people at my work is "this metal is as hard as a preacher's dick". It's been going for years, I even say it sometimes. I am not sure I am following which way this one is going. Are there alter boys around or not?
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Jan 23, 2015 22:26
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Funkysauce posted:Can't do any from my current job since a few managers are goons that must be interesting
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Jan 23, 2015 22:35
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what's it like working for guys who wear fedoras at work. pua. mra. brony
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Jan 23, 2015 22:36
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"Government pensions are unaffordable and bankrupting the state of California" - A government worker who will start to collect a government pension of about $70k/year starting next year. But it's OK for him. He's a FEDERAL government worker. Also he's under the old pension system, so of course his pension is far more generous than that for anyone silly enough to start working for the US after 1983. Bonus Round: "NO, rear end in a top hat! JESUS WAS A WHITE AMERICAN!" - not directed at me, but overheard at work nonetheless
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Jan 23, 2015 23:25
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*Guy from the vending machine company walks through front door to refill soda machine* "Hey! I need to go talk to him! The soda machine jewed me out of a dollar!" Said loudly in a busy lobby full of people. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ *Employee incorrectly explaining payment system to someone at the registration desk in a lobby full of people* Me: "Actually, it works this way (blah blah blah)" Employee: "Well that's dumb! So they get jewed twice?!" These were from two different employees.
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Jan 23, 2015 23:36
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"There's a demon in my hair."
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Jan 24, 2015 02:21
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"Let's get Monstrous Dooklord fired"
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Jan 24, 2015 02:48
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Me: "*something something about a dumb belief* you know, like people who believe in ghosts" Coworker: "...I believe in ghosts."
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Jan 24, 2015 03:05
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you mean hussein the kenyan muslim plant
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Jan 24, 2015 03:09
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"Why would you order seafood at a Mexican restaurant?"
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Jan 24, 2015 03:14
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Kindly do the needfuls
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Jan 24, 2015 03:16
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