|
surc posted:I mean ...yeah, if you want to show off that you have absolutely no understanding of how our society works and send out giant warning signs that you are a bitter rear end in a top hat who considers himself the most important thing, you can do that. Again, questioning whether a patriarchal culture absolves women of all possible INDIVIDUAL mistakes does not mean a person (Who am I kidding? You mean male) is a bitter, arrogant or wrong-headed person. To do so is pretty much the definition of disingenuous. Your agenda is patent, and nobody is seriously contending that patriarchy doesn't exist in this thread. The same thread of argument by the way, as was correctly pointed out earlier, robs women of agency. It also, if you follow the logical thread, absolves men too. So now nobody is responsible for their actions! You don't seem qualified to enter into a regular adult's discussion, so don't.
|
#
?
Apr 28, 2015 15:59
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 16:15 |
|
|
It's because bad guys are sexy, OP.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2015 06:46
|
|
|
Is this some kind of honeypot thread? Because it's working.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2015 14:07
|
|
|
Jeza posted:Again, questioning whether a patriarchal culture absolves women of all possible INDIVIDUAL mistakes does not mean a person (Who am I kidding? You mean male) is a bitter, arrogant or wrong-headed person. To do so is pretty much the definition of disingenuous. Your agenda is patent, and nobody is seriously contending that patriarchy doesn't exist in this thread. I am legitimately sorry that you cannot seem to comprehend the difference between what I'm saying, and what you're frothing about. I'm not claiming that men are bitter. I'm claiming that poster, Axeman Jim, for his specific post at this time sounds bitter. And I can't tell if you're bitter or just get a kick out of being a dick. I'm speaking of the individual again, you, Jeza, a person. Not some weird "gender wall" you throw up to hide behind where obviously I'm saying 'all men' do this. Please stop trying to twist what I say in order to stir up more poo poo, thanks.
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2015 14:28
|
|
|
This might be a radical suggestion and I apologize in advance, but have you ever considered talking to the particular.... feeeemales..... in question and asking?
|
|
#
?
Apr 29, 2015 17:33
|
|
|
I think women are attracted to bad guys because they like to fix things, and they like to be challenged. Women see the bad guy and think but maybe i can change him! Maybe i'll be the special one! They also like the challenge of having a partner that they have to work with, not just some ' yes man ' who is going to bow to everythign they say and do everything. Because thats nice and all, but it gets boring real quick. Also, i think they are attracted to the excitement of it. The wild aspect. And some of them just want toy boys. It could be a number of things but i think those are some of the key themes.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 10:08
|
|
|
Tell me why some people think they can make wide, sweeping generalizations such as "I think women are ..."
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 11:24
|
|
|
Bad guys don't judge because a woman had sex with them "too soon" or because she had "too many" partners.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 13:50
|
|
|
surc posted:I am legitimately sorry that you cannot seem to comprehend the difference between what I'm saying, and what you're frothing about. *presses hot-topic button to summon surc from the seventh circle of tumblr* aye, i invoke the names of the olde goddes and bring forth the cishet sacrifice *ritual chanting*
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 14:08
|
|
|
Holy poo poo, surc, you're even more of a dumbass that I thought. Let me strip away the sarcasm in my last post, seeing as you are incapable of comprehending it, and lay it on you straight. I reversed the genders, using an example from my own past, to demonstrate how absurd the exact same question is when you do so. Your brand of feminism is obsessed with the role of society to the exclusion of everything else, and as such, as much smarter posters than you have pointed out, is that it belittles women and denies them agency - I don't have a tumblr, so I may not be qualified to comment, but I thought that feminism was about the opposite of that. So when a woman makes a bad choice of partner, it's ok to blame it on "patriarchy", but when a man makes a bad choice of partner, despite the reasons and the thought processes being the same, suddenly it's all his fault and he's bad and wrong and turbo-Hitler. The OP is asking the wrong question. Instead of "Why do some women choose to go out with bad men", the real question is "why do people choose blatantly unsuitable romantic partners". That's actually a really interesting question, but one that has got pointlessly muddied in this thread with idiot identity politics because of the way that: a) the OP phrased his post, and b) the way that certain posters pre-judged his motivations in posting by assuming that he was a fedora-MRA-friendzone type when there is nothing in his post to suggest that at all. I ended up in an unsuitable relationship because I had no self-esteem and this woman found me attractive and wanted to sleep with me. She gave me free weed and was sexually adventurous. Only later did she destroy my life. I'm not in the slightest bit bitter, I have learned from that and moved on. But I suspect that many of the people the OP is referring to came into their relationships with "bad guys" from a similar start-point and for the same reasons.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 16:14
|
|
|
As a woman who is not attracted to guys who are like that, I can't offer any personal insight. As for why some women do, I can't make any judgements because I haven't talked to anyone about it and they all have their own individual reasons for it. The only way to get an answer is to actually talk to them and ask. And even then they might not have an answer. Why am I attracted to the type of guy I am? I don't know, it's just the way it is. Besides, who cares? The only reason to care about why a woman is dating someone you don't approve of is jealousy and envy.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 19:01
|
|
|
NoTreble posted:I think women are attracted to bad guys because they like to fix things, and they like to be challenged. Women see the bad guy and think but maybe i can change him! Maybe i'll be the special one! This right here. One needn't necessarily be a "bad boy, bad guy" for the attraction. A guy can simply be one of the more "independent, can't tell me what to do types", w/o being an rear end in a top hat. Excitement, fun, not being a yes-man, feeling they can "fix" or "improve" him definitely seem to be the whys in my experience. It's not always because the guy is an outright douche, ....those choices in a partner from either sex I don't get. Some people just want awful people whatever the gender.
|
|
#
?
Apr 30, 2015 21:11
|
|
|
Picnic Princess posted:And even then they might not have an answer. Why am I attracted to the type of guy I am? I don't know, it's just the way it is. Besides, who cares? The only reason to care about why a woman is dating someone you don't approve of is jealousy and envy. Or if you are a bouncer, or a cop, or someone else who has to step in and often try to protect the people who are endangered by the bad guy's behaviour. In my experience, most guys feel a strong sense of duty when they see a woman in perceived danger. We can criticise this boneheaded chivalry - and I would - but it does not come from a place of jealousy and envy.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2015 00:01
|
|
|
Look up every post by Zerg Fluid tia.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2015 01:18
|
|
|
Why does anyone find anyone attractive?
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2015 02:49
|
|
|
Axeman Jim posted:Holy poo poo, surc, you're even more of a dumbass that I thought. Just go re-read my posts where I specifically address pretty much all these points earlier and pretend I made them again, I don't have the energy to keep empty quoting myself and bolding the relevant parts over and over again from here on out as people keep going over the same ground.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2015 03:30
|
|
|
I currently know two women who are at each other's throats over a guy we all know who is, frankly, pretty mediocre. He is not that good-looking, he is famous for treating women badly and literally everyone I've ever known who wasn't sexually attracted to him thinks he's sort of a pompous, smug child. He gets MAD PUSSY, it's loving crazy. I think like 90% of the women I know have hosed him. My general assessment of this situation is that with these two women (one of them I am close with, the other one not so much) is that they both like him ASIDE from the fact that he's an rear end in a top hat, but they're both waiting for him to go, "Oh, gently caress. I am so sorry. You know, you've been so great to me. I am so sorry for being such a piece of human garbage." I think guys like that prey on women who seem to have slightly shaky self-esteem. Women with shaky self-esteem, conversely, accept love where it is offered, even if it's disingenuous because part of them believes that they don't deserve any better and the other part of them believes that they are good enough to change a guy who treated every other woman like garbage, because she is different and special and NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS(TM). Basically, I feel like people select unsuitable romantic partners because there's unsuitable people who are willing to take advantage of people who don't know any better.
|
|
#
?
May 1, 2015 06:11
|
|
|
Sometimes people can't help who they're attracted to. Maybe one day somebody might even be attracted to you, OP. You never know. Hope this helped you get a better understanding of the female psyche.
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2015 07:33
|
|
|
Poison Cake posted:Bad guys don't judge because a woman had sex with them "too soon" or because she had "too many" partners. lol yes they do are you high
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2015 22:31
|
|
|
im really whitebread and i told a girl i was talking with that i used to sell a lot of drugs and her eyes lit up and i had sex with her. i tried it another time and the same thing happened. it makes me seem cool and dangerous when in reality im boring af and mostly read lovely sci-fi and watch Ken Burns documentaries
|
|
#
?
May 5, 2015 22:49
|
|
|
wilfredmerriweathr posted:If it's anything like my experience with crazy ladies it's because the crazy hosed up ones are the best in bed. ALWAYS stick your dick in crazy never let them know where you live.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 02:16
|
|
|
There are plenty of news stories that make guys smack their heads and say, "and I'm single!?" I mean, you know this guy doesn't have a problem with women flaking out on him at the last minute:  (Charles Manson with wife.) The downside is, he can't tell who just wants to marry him for his sweet, sweet corpse . Somebody did a study on all those women who pursue convicted murderers (and yes, it happens so much it has become a cliche'.) Turns out a lot of them are just enthralled by the idea of a guy who can't leave her because he's locked up.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 13:24
|
|
|
google teresa deion harris
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 14:17
|
|
|
This is possibly the most ridiculous thread on the forums at the moment, including that thread made by the guy who bolds random words.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 14:46
|
|
|
The General posted:ALWAYS stick your dick in crazy What's the inverse of this saying, btw? Don't stick crazy in your pussy? That gives me an image more akin to tampon application than sex.
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 20:02
|
|
|
Rhymenoserous posted:Is this some kind of honeypot thread? Because it's working. Pack your things and get ready to be picked up and taken to the Beta Processing Facility
|
|
#
?
May 6, 2015 20:37
|
|
|
Jeza posted:Again, questioning whether a patriarchal culture absolves women of all possible INDIVIDUAL mistakes does not mean a person (Who am I kidding? You mean male) is a bitter, arrogant or wrong-headed person. To do so is pretty much the definition of disingenuous. Your agenda is patent, and nobody is seriously contending that patriarchy doesn't exist in this thread. Examining the cultural reasons why we make decisions doesn't rob actors of agency. If anything, it gives them room to conceptualise their decisions within a framework where every factor affecting them can be more fully understood. "People make bad decisions influenced by a negative culture in which they exist" isn't really a difficult concept to grasp. It doesn't absolve them of their bad decisions, but it gives us ways in which to understand why they make them. Your issue seems to be a rabid desire to blame women for doing something you disapprove of - not even something criminal or immoral, just making a poor life choice! - such that you see someone saying, "well, women might sometimes act in this way because of x and y cultural reason" as an unacceptably soft outcome. No, drat it! Jeza needs more! The women must be raked over the coals! Also, it's pretty funny that you put surc on blast for robbing women of agency one paragraph and then told her she's a little baby unfit to post the next.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 15:37
|
|
|
Android Blues posted:Examining the cultural reasons why we make decisions doesn't rob actors of agency. If anything, it gives them room to conceptualise their decisions within a framework where every factor affecting them can be more fully understood. Except these cultural reasons are NOT being examined, they're being assumed. I checked this thread twice to make sure, and none of the answers are along the lines of "well, women might sometimes act in this way because of x and y cultural reason" Instead we get such things as "Hrm it's almost like a patriarchal culture teaches women to be subservient and attach themselves to a male authority". I would actually be very interested in reading some of x and y cultural reasons, instead of "because Patriarchy." A few other people have given such answers as confidence, excitement, or that people can't control who they are attracted to, but not a single post in this thread has taken the "well, women might sometimes act in this way because of x and y cultural reason" approach (now checked a third time). silence_kit posted:From what I can tell from how it's used on this website, the meaning of the word patriarchy is "bogeyman who is responsible for everything bad happening to women ever". Very much this. The blanket assertion of patriarchy seems to be used to discourage a look at the particular groups or beliefs that are actually sexist towards or holding back women.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 17:16
|
|
|
Sometimes people see something in another person that isn't very obvious, and are merely ignoring or tolerating the flaws you assume are attracting them. On the other hand, if we are going to generalize about what women like in relationships, a "project" to keep them busy is one of the most consistent things I've seen (though this becomes mitigated if she has kids and concentrates on raising them instead of her bf/husband). A lot of earlier case studies of women with hybristophilia involved the women being charitable or kind people who were convinced they could reform the convicts they fell in love with. Then their new husband killed them.
|
|
#
?
May 7, 2015 23:13
|
|
|
I'm gonna guess that awful lot of the poo poo that makes somebody a 'bad' person on your list doesn't even rate on a lot of other people. "Why other people like people I don't like better than they like me" is probably a more useful question. Especially if it is such a widespread issue that you can spot a trend there. I think boring scolds are bad people, but a goodly number of them seem to find love, so take heart.
|
|
#
?
May 8, 2015 00:14
|
|
|
Actually it's just because the majority of women are borderline retarded, as are the majority of men. It's honestly not that complicated when you realize people are loving dumb in general. I mean the women that go for these guys are rarely geniuses.
|
|
#
?
May 8, 2015 02:47
|
|
|
Cichlid the Loach posted:What's the inverse of this saying, btw? Don't stick crazy in your pussy? That gives me an image more akin to tampon application than sex. Never let crazy put it in.
|
|
#
?
May 8, 2015 03:08
|
|
|
In criminology it's a well known fact that violent offenders tend to start having sex early in life and usually have more partners than their non-offending peers. An introductory textbook in criminology I read a few years ago presented the theory that we're naturally drawn to violent and hot-tempered people, because historically it was useful to have a friend/partner who could beat your enemies into pulp if needed.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 02:06
|
|
|
Jasper Tin Neck posted:In criminology it's a well known fact that violent offenders tend to start having sex early in life and usually have more partners than their non-offending peers. And having sex early in our society isn't an indicator of being desirable, it's an indicator of being lower class.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 10:25
|
|
|
Its actually because they had lovely/dramatic/abusive/drug addict or alcoholic parents and that's the life they know You would be hard pressed to find someone that had a normal childhood and has no idea about the whole patriarchy (my god this is dumb, poo poo like this has happened for loving ever) and if asked you would get a blank stare There's also "the fixers" or codependents, that's all they know or what they are attracted to. Its not whatever garbage anything tumblr says, its just how our brains work and without therapy or willingness the cycle is just going to continue with tgem
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 12:59
|
|
|
I'm going to try to answer this without sounding like I can justify anything I've done in the past, or that it makes me a better person for who I am now. I went to jail, on a first offense. I did drugs, drank every night, partied all the time, and mixed up with the people you'd normally experience in that kind of environment. I was facing a felony charge for doing something incredibly stupid, and to this day I regret it and thank whatever higher power I can that I didn't kill anyone. In jail I woke up to a hangover in a solitary confinement cell where the lights never turned off and I slept on a 2 inch mattress on the floor. I went and saw the judge for my first appearance barely able to keep my eyes open from the stinging flourescent lights. I was given a 25,000 dollar bond amount. There was no way I could've paid it, and went back to my cell. I kept to myself, read a book, help with cleaning duties and generally didn't try to bother anyone. It was absolute hell. When you have everything taken away from you, promises to yourself start being made: "I'm never drinking again", "I am going to anger management", "I will be a better person", "I will change". The day you get released before the trial is a constant battle of anxiety. You fear that at any moment the police can show up and take you back to jail regardless of if you did anything wrong. Even when you are free, you aren't free. You have stipulations you have to follow, check-ins, drug tests, court dates, AA meetings, Mental Health services meetings, etc. You have to comply with everything they tell you and distance yourself from your past life. New friends, new hobbies. It's all about the environment you set for yourself. What I'm getting to is: when you get to the point that you can start dating again you have an experience that is permanently branded into your mind. You're not going to get jealous and fight with someone because your girlfriend is talking to them. It isn't worth getting jammed up in the same system you just got out of. You don't want to be around people that aren't conducive to what you want in life anymore, and for a lot of guys that have spent their lives fighting and angry, being around those types of people is one of them. This exhibits extreme personal growth in these people. Anyone of any gender or sexual orientation can see that. You're a constant example of the things you've experienced in life, and while a lot of these kinds of people end up going back to the way that they were, a lot don't and put boots to pavement trying to be the best they can. If the shoe was on the other foot and you met someone who had something like that in their past and you generally liked them, and enjoyed being around them then the past wouldn't matter to you much either. tldr: Most of the time these guys have better groups of people they associate with, have immense personal growth, and work very hard to live a good life. This makes them attractive to potential partners. bewbies posted:I personally do not know why we even let convicts out of prison let alone allow people to associate with them. So that we can date all of your women. Modulo16 fucked around with this message at 17:13 on May 10, 2015 |
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 17:09
|
|
|
Chicks dig a honkey fresh out the joint.
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 18:22
|
|
|
Pls stop vicitmizing bitterhood, plsJasper Tin Neck posted:In criminology it's a well known fact that violent offenders tend to start having sex early in life and usually have more partners than their non-offending peers. Criminology: bad psychology applied poorly to many people
|
|
#
?
May 10, 2015 20:48
|
|
|
Sheep-Goats posted:Pls stop vicitmizing bitterhood, pls
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2015 05:23
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 16:15 |
|
|
Sheep-Goats posted:Pls stop vicitmizing bitterhood, pls Criminology isn't a subdiscipline of psychology, it's sociology, and it's not dependent on individual psychology. It's mostly statistics. This thread continues to be the hilarious worst.
|
|
#
?
May 11, 2015 13:36
|
|