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You have to put peanut butter on it and show it to your dog.
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Mar 28, 2016 21:12
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It's a hate crime if you don't brush cocks with a fag holding the door for you.
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Mar 28, 2016 21:15
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criscodisco posted:You have to put peanut butter on it and show it to your dog. Noooo, because peanut butter companies are now putting lethal dog poison in peanut butter, don't you know anything?
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Mar 28, 2016 21:21
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Instead of holding the door I usually just take off my pants and throw them at the person.
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Mar 28, 2016 21:23
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ghlbtsk posted:Instead of holding the door I usually just take off my pants and throw them at the person. I did this once with an ex girlfriend entering the bedroom, didn't work.
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Mar 28, 2016 21:25
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PuppiesAndKitties posted:If it's a normal healthy looking person, 10 feet. What about someone like me who is ostensibly healthy but ugly as sin?
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Mar 28, 2016 21:39
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What really gets me is people in elevators. Those people who start mashing the Door Close button as soon as they hear someone say "Hold the door please!" are the worst. I at least hold the elevator door so they can get on then I scream horrifically in their face until we arrive at their floor.
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Mar 28, 2016 21:41
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i'm so strong at karate that its literally impossible to punch me while im standing in a doorway
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Mar 28, 2016 22:07
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TheNightmanCum-eth posted:What really gets me is people in elevators. Those people who start mashing the Door Close button as soon as they hear someone say "Hold the door please!" are the worst. Hold the door please! *meanders to elevator, presses 2*
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Mar 28, 2016 22:09
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Applewhite posted:We just need to sit down, as a society, and establish a firm cutoff distance for how close someone has to be before you're obligated by common courtesy to hold the door open for them. I think twice the height of the approaching person is a good cutoff.
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Mar 28, 2016 23:02
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if they're hot i'll hold the door until i cum, but after that i usually lose interest
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Mar 28, 2016 23:32
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if you wear a hoodie with the hood up you can just open the door and not bother worrying about anyone else
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Mar 28, 2016 23:37
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Hot Karl Marx posted:if you wear a hoodie with the hood up you can just open the door and not bother worrying about anyone else look at this loving sociopath
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Mar 28, 2016 23:40
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Applewhite posted:Someday all doors will just be automatic sliding doors and having to hold them open for people will be a thing of the past. I dream of that day. no those are designed for fat people and it keeps them fat because they dont burn any calories opening doors if we allow automatic doors to become a thing for everything, we will see obesity increase at even more alarming rates imo
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Mar 28, 2016 23:41
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quote:
Maybe this is a good way to manage the upcoming population crisis.
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Mar 29, 2016 04:48
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Commie NedFlanders posted:What about someone like me who is ostensibly healthy but ugly as sin? I'd count it as disability.
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Mar 29, 2016 04:58
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Hi, I'm holding the door open for you and standing in the way at the same time, smiling like I'm doing a good thing, and I am somehow not a sociopath.
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Mar 29, 2016 05:02
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thank you ghost of david foster wallace for injecting this insight of social dread into such a meaningless situation
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Mar 29, 2016 05:03
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i think 5 steps out is fair, 7 for an old lady
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Mar 29, 2016 05:07
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Sp1r0_Agn3W posted:i think 5 steps out is fair, 7 for an old lady 12 steps for alcoholics but i have to admit i am kind of an enabler
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Mar 29, 2016 05:21
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If the guy behind me when I turn around is another baller like me I give like the tiniest chin upwards nod as if to say "I know you got this so I'm just gonna let it go" and he gives me the same micro-nod back and I let the door fall closed as quickly behind me as possible. Note that this does not mean you try to slip sideways through the doorway by opening the door just a little so it closes immediately because that is a bitch move. If the guy is clearly a straight up buster(like the OP) I hold my gaze for a fraction of a second longer and then move to hold the door open but not by just twisting my upper torso to the side so as to keep my hand in contact with the door for a moment longer as I step through the doorway but by instead passing through the doorway completely with my hand constantly holding the door and then stepping sideways so I'm adjacent to the door facing its opposite direction so as to have a firmer grip on the door with my hand and to afford me the opportunity to turn my head to the side and watch you as you approach. The purpose is to create in you the sense that I'm not paying you a simple courtesy but that I was so convinced of your utter infirmity or incapacity that I instantly came to believe upon seeing that you would face a serious challenge from a door on your own and I have carried out a deliberate act separate from my own entering through the doorway in order to assist you. It is the second greatest power move in the world of door openings.
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Mar 29, 2016 08:21
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I made the mistake of holding the door open for an old lady who took wayyy too goddamn long. I shoulda let it slam on her face. That'll teach me.
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Mar 29, 2016 10:28
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If I misread the distance and end up holding the door for what could be considered an awkward length of time I just roll with it by putting on a smug face and nodding while making eye contact like 'yeah, check my mad door holding skills bro'. If I misread and let it close on someone right behind me I roll with it by flipping them off.
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Mar 29, 2016 10:56
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