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misty mountaintop
Jun 2, 2015

by Hand Knit

LadyAmbien posted:

My favourite time was when idiot crackheads broke into my brand new car and ripped open the dashboard. Like actually pried the entire thing off with a screw driver and crowbar to get at the flat touchscreen stereo. They also took a bag full of women's clothing? And my camping gear. Oh, and a metal dog bowl.

How did you know they were crackheads?

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LadyAmbien
Oct 22, 2015

misty mountaintop posted:

How did you know they were crackheads?

Because I walked in on one of them cracking open our coin operated laundry machines one night/they constantly hit up my apartment building parking lot around the 1st and 15th of the month (new tenants that don't think to lock their doors), and I caught a story in the newspaper not long after I moved out that they had been caught, and many things that had been stolen, recovered from a crackhouse they were staying in.

walgreenslatino posted:

Somebody stole my credit card this weekend and all they used it for was buying game time at Dave & Busters

Sorry.

ncumbered_by_idgits
Sep 20, 2008

The gently caress are you doing wearing a coat today, it's like a thousand degrees in most of America today?

Whooping Crabs
Apr 13, 2010

Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons
STOLEN

MONSTER JAM! HE'S ON FIRE!

Clipperton
Dec 20, 2011
Grimey Drawer
One time I fell asleep on a train and when I woke up my Sony Discman that had been on the armrest was GONE (this was quite a few years ago obv)

Another time some people stole our garage door opener from our car when my idiot brother-in-law left it unlocked, joke was on them though because we weren't parked anywhere near our house so the opener was useless

Also got mugged in Saigon by the world's worst mugger who got the chump change from my wallet but didn't even spot my money belt

These are my stories

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
About 12 years ago I had bought a beautiful old house in an area that was about halfway through the gentrification process. It was about 70% gay folks, and 30% impoverished "ghetto".

I absolutely loved that house, but the neighborhood got the best of me and I sold after a few years and moved to the country.

The house had a huge front porch, so when I moved in I went to Pier 1 and bought a 10-piece porch furniture set. Chairs, tables, porch swing, that sort of thing. Within a week, it was gone. It's one of the few times I can honestly say I've snapped. I loaded in my car and drive around the area for 2 hours, until I saw my set on someone else's porch.

I called a police officer friend of mine and begged her to come meet me with her badge and gun and help me get it back. She talked me down and talked me into going back home, as there wasn't much to be done given the circumstances.

Another time I took 2 very old Israeli ceramic pots and planted some decorative trees in them. The pots were huge and were my grandmothers, and with the trees and dirt they had to weigh 100 pounds apiece.

I put them out at 9am, and when I checked the mail at 11am they were gone. Everyone in the neighborhood told me "don't leave any plants or flowers on your porch anywhere near mothers day, they'll disappear". I suppose I am too trusting in people.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015

LadyAmbien posted:

My favourite time was when idiot crackheads broke into my brand new car and ripped open the dashboard. Like actually pried the entire thing off with a screw driver and crowbar to get at the flat touchscreen stereo. They also took a bag full of women's clothing? And my camping gear. Oh, and a metal dog bowl.

I always wonder how much money someone gets when they fence goods like that. Like did the payoff make it worth the effort?

criscodisco posted:

About 12 years ago I had bought a beautiful old house in an area that was about halfway through the gentrification process. It was about 70% gay folks, and 30% impoverished "ghetto".

I absolutely loved that house, but the neighborhood got the best of me and I sold after a few years and moved to the country.

The house had a huge front porch, so when I moved in I went to Pier 1 and bought a 10-piece porch furniture set. Chairs, tables, porch swing, that sort of thing. Within a week, it was gone. It's one of the few times I can honestly say I've snapped. I loaded in my car and drive around the area for 2 hours, until I saw my set on someone else's porch.

I called a police officer friend of mine and begged her to come meet me with her badge and gun and help me get it back. She talked me down and talked me into going back home, as there wasn't much to be done given the circumstances.

Another time I took 2 very old Israeli ceramic pots and planted some decorative trees in them. The pots were huge and were my grandmothers, and with the trees and dirt they had to weigh 100 pounds apiece.

I put them out at 9am, and when I checked the mail at 11am they were gone. Everyone in the neighborhood told me "don't leave any plants or flowers on your porch anywhere near mothers day, they'll disappear". I suppose I am too trusting in people.

I'm sorry your plants were stolen :(

I'm roughly $600 down, but I managed to replace everyting/change locks. No word from the police yet.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

twofive1 posted:

I'm sorry your plants were stolen :(

Lol I suspect sarcasm, but I was just upset about the pots they were in, not the plants. I had only brought it up because it amazed me that two very heavy planters were stolen in broad daylight while I was home.

Shame about the $600. There's nothing quite like the horrible feeling of having been burgled.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
I was being sincere. Just planted some sunflowers today.

It did dip into my emergency fund a bit, but at least everything was recoverable and there was no serious fraud or car theft.

And now I have a new phone :shrug:

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Did you upgrade to a smartphone?

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
Yes, I did. I've barely figured out how to use it.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Download the Awful app. It's much more convenient to post from/read.

ChrisHansen
Oct 28, 2014

Suck my damn balls.
Lipstick Apathy
Some guy kidnapped my daughter and I killed a bunch of guys to get her back. They made some movies about it with Liam something or other. Fat royalty checks. I'll send you my agents info if you go tge vengeance route

Android Apocalypse
Apr 28, 2009

The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE

Illegal Hen
Worst burglary I've dealt with was a crew busting the window next to my front door to unlock it. They came into the house & instead of taking my big screen TV, home theater poo poo, game systems, or laptops, they stole several airsoft guns. I figured they thought they were real, but I was amazed they didn't take the real ones. I guess a basic hunting rifle ain't as cool as a replica M4A1. :shrug:

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criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Android Bicyclist posted:

Worst burglary I've dealt with was a crew busting the window next to my front door to unlock it. They came into the house & instead of taking my big screen TV, home theater poo poo, game systems, or laptops, they stole several airsoft guns. I figured they thought they were real, but I was amazed they didn't take the real ones. I guess a basic hunting rifle ain't as cool as a replica M4A1. :shrug:

In high school my girlfriend (lol) had her car broken into and it had her money pouch from a night waitressing in it. The clear pouch had ~$100 in it and was in her passenger seat. Instead they popped the trunk and stole her makeup bag.

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