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once you make sys admin be sure to sneer at the help desk plebs
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Dec 8, 2016 03:06
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learn how to click things and follow directions buy lots of polo shirts
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Dec 8, 2016 03:22
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shoophobo posted:learn how to click things and follow directions Solid life advice for all mammals.
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Dec 8, 2016 04:19
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I don't know how computers work
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Dec 8, 2016 05:01
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I don't know how computers work You know how ones and zeros work? Just imagine a bunch if those.
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Dec 8, 2016 05:06
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The Management posted:You know how ones and zeros work? Just imagine a bunch if those. Are they on a Cliff?
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Dec 8, 2016 06:44
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shoophobo posted:learn how to click things and follow directions or if youre on the west coast, a nice collection of hoodies will suffice
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Dec 8, 2016 12:03
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FedEx Mercury posted:The only thing I know about IT is that they're the guys I get mad at when our file server gets slow. They're the worst! Your file server is slow because you keep using characters other than semi-colon to delimit email addresses. Also you tried to drop the same file so many times that you caused a deadlock. Learn how to do your loving job and be patient when you're sending out a 2gb txt file you loving rear end in a top hat.
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Dec 8, 2016 12:26
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1. Learn google 2. Trust google 3. Google takes care of you, google does your job 4. Do what google says 5. Get paid  This doesnt just apply to help desk anymore either. If some idiot suit comes up to you and is all like, "hey, I loving pay you, make me a database." and you dont know jack poo poo about even excel. Dont worry google still has you covered. "How 2 make database" oughta do it. I seem like I'm being sarcastic but I am in fact not.
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Dec 8, 2016 12:28
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My best tip is to get a degree in just about any STEM-related field during the 1990s, mess about with hobbyist computer programming a little extra on the side (most efficient if you begin this already in the 1980s when you're in grade school), graduate a good while before the bursting of the great dot-com bubble, and get hired for a nice and secure but not terribly exciting public-sector programming job (so you don't lose it when said bubble bursts). Then just kind of keep doing that for the next few decades. I guess that might not be directly useful to you.
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Dec 8, 2016 12:32
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you dont need a STEM degree to make like 70k it really is: Nathilus posted:1. Learn google
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Dec 8, 2016 12:45
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basic hitler posted:# 2. Apply somewhere for some 39 hour week 'part time' helpdesk job at a call center never again
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Dec 8, 2016 12:50
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thathonkey posted:you dont need a STEM degree to make like 70k it really is: "hey could you make me a NoSQL database using MongoDB for a thing we're going to build which probably needs to deal with 2,000 concurrent transactions" Good luck googling that
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Dec 8, 2016 12:55
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Nathilus posted:1. Learn google the moron answer they do not want to hear is ask a senior developer or project lead. it sounds good for hand-holding jobs but lmao if you think thats how poo poo is gonna work in software development
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Dec 8, 2016 12:56
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Clamps McGraw posted:"hey could you make me a NoSQL database using MongoDB for a thing we're going to build which probably needs to deal with 2,000 concurrent transactions" 
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Dec 8, 2016 13:00
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Clamps McGraw posted:"hey could you make me a NoSQL database using MongoDB for a thing we're going to build which probably needs to deal with 2,000 concurrent transactions" you only make 70k for doing work like that? yikes
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Dec 8, 2016 13:02
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but i only know how to make sql databases with mongodb!
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Dec 8, 2016 13:03
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gary oldmans diary posted:i literally nailed an interview when they asked what i would do if i was stuck on a problem i didnt know the solution to and i said search stackexchange pretty much. if somebody comes to ask me a question i know they couldve found on google or stack overflow i get very irritated. i only want people asking me poo poo specific to our systems
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Dec 8, 2016 13:04
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i gotta eat some food. i said stack exchange where i meant overflow and im using "literally" literally everywhere it doesnt make sense
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Dec 8, 2016 13:08
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Clamps McGraw posted:"hey could you make me a NoSQL database using MongoDB for a thing we're going to build which probably needs to deal with 2,000 concurrent transactions" Learning to google involves learning to break big projects down into discrete segments that you can then get google's opinion on. You can't just say "google do x with y specs" but it can still carry your clueless rear end all the way through a big loving project if you simply learn what to ask.
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Dec 8, 2016 13:10
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it's all about learning what to google and how to fashion your query and then with experience comes figuring out which results are written by competent people and are applicable to your situation
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Dec 8, 2016 13:14
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You will also probably want to get one of these. They are necessary for interacting with your neck beard and H1B visa coworkers.
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Dec 8, 2016 14:06
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My advice to your OP is to just go around telling everyone you work with how to solve all of their problems. Also tell them your opinions on what are the best stores to shop at, but don't frame them as opinions. Rather, tell them that adamantly and unrelentingly that they should go to these stores until they stop talking to you about anything.
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Dec 8, 2016 14:32
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Raspberry Jam It In Me posted:Have you tried polarizing the deflector dish? yes but only in one flux pattern.... good idea! edit: if you're getting started for the love of god try to avoid working in an untyped language (ruby, javascript, whatever,) things like scala and ML or whatever are much easier to think about and maintain some semblance of sanity Mozi fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Dec 8, 2016 |
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Dec 8, 2016 14:49
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I have no particular hopes or aspirations in life. Right now I am getting paid to watch a liquid solution heat up on a screen and press the e-stop if something blows up. I know some things about computers and can google p well. Could the computer custodial arts be right for me? I enjoy drinking already so that won't be much of a lifestyle change.
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Dec 8, 2016 15:15
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You know an awesome way to get into IT now that I think of it... the military. The pay is pretty good compared to civilians but you can be terrible at IT at the same time. They also keep you up to date with any training/certs you want to do. The big part of that though are the perks like sweet rear end home loans and free child care. Holy poo poo are those huge.
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Dec 8, 2016 15:43
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2 Start doing tech support for a local ISP 3 Move into web design 4 Become highly paid web consultant during dotcom boom 5 Become unemployed briefly during dotcom bust 6 Become senior application developer for stable large company 1 Go back in time
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Dec 8, 2016 15:50
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Just talk about Star Citizen in the break room
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Dec 8, 2016 16:01
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Withnail posted:2 Start doing tech support for a local ISP I still see plenty of stupid babys making bank with the easiest languages possible, javascript/css/html. Front end developers make pretty good money, entry level is 60k here in Columbus. Which comparatively is like 800k a year in a liberal commie megalopolis considering cost of living.
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Dec 8, 2016 16:10
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I saw an IT guy get fired for being a useless jerk once. Like, literally that - he was rude and couldn't even keep our printers and network going reliably. We had some basic thing go wrong involving printing and the IT guy came along, grunted, and gave an estimate for a weeks worth of work to fix it. "That'll take about a week, should be ready by next Tuesday." One of the younger salesman called his bluff, went to the manager and said "Actually all we need to do is fix a few permissions, it's literally a 2 minute fix." and when that proved to be true, fired the grumpy IT man on the spot. It owned. Later it turned out mr criminal genius IT guy was embezzling money from the company by setting up a small LLC (or something like that) and grossly overcharging the company as well as keeping some of the gear. They only caught him because they fired him for incompetence and looked over some of the stuff he used his budget for. He had a bunch of laptops and server stuff in his apartment; he was just selling it on eBay. I think he's now facing jail time if he doesn't pay his fines and restitution, and since he won't be able to find work in IT anywhere around here anymore, that seems more and more likely. All because he was a grumpy, lazy jerk. Tumble fucked around with this message at 16:29 on Dec 8, 2016 |
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Dec 8, 2016 16:26
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donut sine yore poets
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Dec 8, 2016 16:52
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pants in my pants posted:I have no particular hopes or aspirations in life. Right now I am getting paid to watch a liquid solution heat up on a screen and press the e-stop if something blows up. I know some things about computers and can google p well. Could the computer custodial arts be right for me? I enjoy drinking already so that won't be much of a lifestyle change. This perfectly describes a life in IT, except occasionally the solution blows up in the middle of the night while you're sleeping and you have to go in and clean it up at 3am.
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Dec 8, 2016 17:29
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i agreed to be available outside of work but i never agreed to be sober for it
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Dec 8, 2016 17:34
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