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my dog died im sad posted:You're kidding. Is that actually the author? That is him, next to GRRM.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:16
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GOKU and VEGETA are baking a cake for me. It's my 30 birthday and, let's face it, things are going great. I became Player One, I was ready. I saved the world from the virus or hackers or whatever. Who gives a poo poo, remember when the IRON GIANT showed up? Cool. They bring out the cake. Suddenly, someone steps in the room, someone I've never seen before. "Don't you know? The cake is a lie." *DRAMATIC ELECTRONIC MUSIC STING* *READY PLAYER TWO* *COMING NEXT SUMMER*
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Dec 11, 2017 19:19
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this book was so bad that it is very surprising to me how many people liked it. And I'm a person who regularly enjoys trash fiction.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:21
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KillerJunglist posted:Hydrogen atoms only have one proton. Everyone knows that. If you lose that proton it doesn't exist anymore. It’s because the author’s dick is so small he needs a scanning tunneling electron microscope to get off.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:35
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Its probably going to be an okay movie even though the source material is trash. Isn't that Spielberg's thing
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Dec 11, 2017 19:35
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Its probably going to be an okay movie even though the source material is trash. Isn't that Spielberg's thing The BFG sucked
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Dec 11, 2017 19:36
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Spielberg's thing is making trash yes
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Dec 11, 2017 19:36
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ChickenHeart posted:Seriously though, could someone give me a rundown on why this will be bad beyond the trailers being the most pander-tastic piece of media I've seen? Is there anything to the plot beyond "...and then I met BUBSY who told me to believe in myself"-style young adult novel nonsense? sandman-guillotine combos got nerfed :/ but if the movie has a tf2 reference it better be the heavy and his minigun, i would tear up and cry if i saw that
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Dec 11, 2017 19:37
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Ok, I think I just flat-out hate him. What a loving goon, jesus.
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Dec 11, 2017 19:38
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Please post more awful quotes from the book holy poo poo
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Dec 11, 2017 19:54
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"Descending the network of metal girders had always reminded me of old platform videogames like Donkey Kong or BurgerTime. I'd seized upon this idea a few years ealier when I coded my first Atari 2600 game (a gunter rite of passage, like a Jedi building his first lightsaber)."
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Dec 11, 2017 20:00
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Knight posted:Someone will probably post it, but there's a few pages of that book where he just lists things from the 80s. In context, it appears in a section where he's doing research and consuming media but instead of displaying use of his knowledge ("I can name all the ewoks") or making his activities exciting ("I blew through the Terminator movies, slashed through Nightmare on Elm Street") or anything that would have added the tiniest amount of flavor, it's just "I read <author>, <author>, <author>, <author>... I watched <movie>, <movie>, <movie>" "When it came to my research, I never took any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I'd worked my way down the entire recommended gunter reading list. Douglas Adams. Kurt Vonnegut. Neal Stephenson. Richard K. Morgan. Stephen King. Orson Scott Card. Terry Pratchett. Terry Brooks. Bester. Bradbury, Halderman, Heinlein, Tolkein, Vance, Gibson, Gaiman, Sterling, Moorcock, Scalzi, Zelazny."
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Dec 11, 2017 20:01
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oh my god
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Dec 11, 2017 20:04
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Easily the worst book I've ever read. Well partially read, it was too terrible to finish.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:04
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Ok, I think I just flat-out hate him. Its gets worse: For his second book he flat out made "The Last Starfighter" combined with "Enders Game". Like really, really, lazy crap.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:06
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"Dagorath was a word in Sindarin, the Elvish language J. R. R. Tolkien had created for The Lord of the Rings. The word dagorath meant “battle,” but Tolkien had spelled the word with just one “g,” not two. “Daggorath” (with two “g”s) could refer only to one thing: an incredibly obscure computer game called Dungeons of Daggorath released in 1982. The game had been made for just one platform, the TRS-80 Color Computer.”
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Dec 11, 2017 20:06
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is this the book where he tries to hide his fortune in mmo money or something
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Dec 11, 2017 20:09
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Blue Train posted:"Descending the network of metal girders had always reminded me of old platform videogames like Donkey Kong or BurgerTime. I'd seized upon this idea a few years ealier when I coded my first Atari 2600 game (a gunter rite of passage, like a Jedi building his first lightsaber)." This isn't real... ...is it?
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Dec 11, 2017 20:12
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You know I loving hate it how people like this appropriate every loving scientist as a nerd or geek or whatever. The two aren't as connected as a bunch of idiots think.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:14
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:This isn't real... Welcome to hell
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Dec 11, 2017 20:17
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:This isn't real... It's all too real. I think there's like a page that is nothing but just listing 80s stuff and video games with almost no connection to the plot, it's just a barrage of reference. Actually it may have been more like 10-20 pages. Or the entire book. The only thing I kind of liked in the book was the miserable dystopian future part where the dude is a slave job as tech support for an ISP company and only has access to 10 episodes of a corporate-produced sitcom as entertainment. That was kind of fun in how miserable it was. But that was a a miniscule amount of the book and still drowned out by hamfisted and overexplained references and outright pandering. This dude also wrote "Fanboys", a terrible movie - Me and some friends watched this on someone else's recommendation and after what felt like an hour realized we were only 20 minutes in and no one had laughed even once and then we just turned it off.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:18
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:This isn't real... Apparently the main character wins by reciting a bit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:19
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Mordja posted:Apparently the main character wins by reciting a bit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. No, the entire movie.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:20
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This movie looks stupid as poo poo and shows Spielberg's age. I laughed at the part where they all get in their virtual cars at the same time and pull the door closed or whatever dumb thing it was they did. Didn't anyone learn anything from Lawnmower Man? This poo poo just doesn't age well and is stupid to begin with.
me your dad fucked around with this message at 20:26 on Dec 11, 2017 |
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Dec 11, 2017 20:22
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Randarkman posted:It's all too real. I think there's like a page that is nothing but just listing 80s stuff and video games with almost no connection to the plot, it's just a barrage of reference. Actually it may have been more like 10-20 pages. Or the entire book. 
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Dec 11, 2017 20:24
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A Fancy Hat posted:GOKU and VEGETA are baking a cake for me. It's my 30 birthday and, let's face it, things are going great. I became Player One, I was ready. I saved the world from the virus or hackers or whatever. Who gives a poo poo, remember when the IRON GIANT showed up? Cool. The one good thing about the book is that the pop culture references are from the 80s. So there’s no Goku or Pokémon or any other millennial garbage.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:28
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Blue Train posted:"When it came to my research, I never took any shortcuts. Over the past five years, I'd worked my way down the entire recommended gunter reading list. Douglas Adams. Kurt Vonnegut. Neal Stephenson. Richard K. Morgan. Stephen King. Orson Scott Card. Terry Pratchett. Terry Brooks. Bester. Bradbury, Halderman, Heinlein, Tolkein, Vance, Gibson, Gaiman, Sterling, Moorcock, Scalzi, Zelazny."  This goes on...
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Dec 11, 2017 20:28
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A random page (Yes, I shamefully own a physical copy of this piece of trash).
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Dec 11, 2017 20:30
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Holy poo poo. I've heard just rumours about this book, but if even half of these quotes are real, it is worse then I imagined. Why can't people adapt fun dystopian sci-fi like Snowcrash instead of this poo poo.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:31
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ChickenHeart posted:Seriously though, could someone give me a rundown on why this will be bad beyond the trailers being the most pander-tastic piece of media I've seen? Is there anything to the plot beyond "...and then I met BUBSY who told me to believe in myself"-style young adult novel nonsense? The book has pages upon pages that are nothing but references to 80's pop culture and the message of the story is that it's okay to be a nerd shut-in with no ambitions beyond having useless trivia knowledge. Also, the software engineer turned CEO of a major corporation was a HUGE NERD who apparently had enough time to beat every video game ever made as a child instead of studying or doing homework. RobotDogPolice fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Dec 11, 2017 |
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Dec 11, 2017 20:31
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RobotDogPolice posted:The book has pages upon pages that are nothing but references to 80's pop culture and the message of the story is that it's okay to be a nerd shut-in with no ambitions beyond having useless trivia knowledge. 
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Dec 11, 2017 20:34
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I tried out Loot Crate a few years ago, on a three month trial thingy. The first month, this book was sent to me. I had a feeling that, since it was packaged in with a bunch of useless garbage, it was likely the same. Welp, now I know.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:35
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Colonel Cancer posted:Holy poo poo. I've heard just rumours about this book, but if even half of these quotes are real, it is worse then I imagined. "There was a problem. I used my encyclopedic knowledge of the 80s to solve it." Repeat 100 times. That's it.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:35
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RobotDogPolice posted:The book has pages upon pages that are nothing but references to 80's pop culture and the message of the story is that it's okay to be a nerd shut-in with no ambitions beyond having useless trivia knowledge. The book has kind of a half-hearted moral that sometimes you should try to get with the chubby girl you are online-crushing on instead though. The romance parts of this book are kind of hilarious. Another random page, wherein our heroes gloriously defeat a jock COD-gamer at 80s trivia. 
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Dec 11, 2017 20:36
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Randarkman posted:The book has kind of a half-hearted moral that sometimes you should try to get with the chubby girl you are online-crushing on instead though. The romance parts of this book are kind of hilarious. So, this whole book is like dream-versions of "shitthatdidnthappen.txt" with 80s references. Coooooooool.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:38
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I had no idea you could just list things and get steven spielberg to make you a movie
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Dec 11, 2017 20:39
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gunter
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Dec 11, 2017 20:40
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bag em and tag em posted:"There was a problem. I used my encyclopedic knowledge of the 80s to solve it." Nah there's only problem solving like 10 times. The book is more like this quote:Remember the 80s? then repeat 100 times. The book you were describing is the Martian. Except replace "encyclopedic knowledge of the 80s" with "Science!"
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Dec 11, 2017 20:40
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Remember kids, don't cultivate useful skills or try to improve your life in the present in any meaningful way. Instead, romanticise the past and absorb as much trivia knowledge as you can.
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Dec 11, 2017 20:41
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Dec 11, 2017 20:42
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