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Any plotline that you could reasonably slot into a NES RPG. If your movie is about getting the thing to get the thing to kill the bad guy, or everyone has to take five minutes to explain how your clever system of magic works, gently caress off and try again.
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# ? Jun 11, 2024 09:52 |
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Kazzah posted:No dialogue in trailers. You can convey what you're doing with images and music, or you can gently caress off. Dark City trailer = Best Trailer
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Black Lighter posted:Green screen. If you can't do it with a practical set or on location, you can't do it. That would solve the problems of most mainstream movies being set in a digital nowhere zone; studio-mandated reshoots turning every movie into a mangled, toneless mess; and the endless conveyor belt feeding VFX workers into the crunch all at once. Just a genuine blight on the medium as a whole. They'll just use rear projection instead.
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Absolutely nothing, as long as I'm getting that sweet sweet $$$$ as President of Hollywood then they can do whatever they want to do.
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:They'll just use rear projection instead. Rear projection is cool.
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Das Boo posted:A live-action version of anything that's already been animated. This. As a matter of fact, I’d demand more animated remakes of live-action movies a la “Tokyo Godfathers”.
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I ban presidents of Hollywood from banning one thing
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That DICK! posted:I ban presidents of Hollywood from banning one thing The Hollywood sign explodes and you've broken the spell.
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High Warlord Zog posted:Streaming services that don't host older movies. At least 50% of a streamer's film catalogue must be from before 1980 or else that service is to be shut down. This doesn't quite fit the OP's rules, but if you don't make a product available then it goes into the public domain. Also, for every minute past 90 minutes runtime, you have to pay an extra 1% tax on revenues.
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:They'll just use rear projection instead. If they want to use a really limited tool like that, cool, they can go nuts. Even if they shot a whole movie with rear projection, the end result would probably be a lot more interesting than all the content slurry green screen helps enable.
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Black Lighter posted:If they want to use a really limited tool like that, cool, they can go nuts. Even if they shot a whole movie with rear projection, the end result would probably be a lot more interesting than all the content slurry green screen helps enable. honestly a retro piece using 60's era technology sounds fantastic.
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Famethrowa posted:honestly a retro piece using 60's era technology sounds fantastic.
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Mark Wahlberg
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Shouting in animated films. Once you notice it you never stop noticing it. Every American animated film is full of characters shouting at each other ad nauseum. No one seems to talk normally.
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Computers don’t make constant tiny squittering sounds when people are using them. Stop doing that. No, not even FBI computers.
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Vegetable posted:Shouting in animated films. Once you notice it you never stop noticing it. Every American animated film is full of characters shouting at each other ad nauseum. No one seems to talk normally. Omg this! It’s the same with cartoon tv shows. I can’t watch bobs burgers because the shouting makes me nervous.
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Future Wax posted:Movies in the same series aren't allowed to have identical titles. No three Halloweens, three Shafts, two Screams, etc. I agree with this. I also want to add that you can't just slap on/remove "The" to an otherwise similar title. "The" Final Destination "The" Batman Fast & Furious Evil Dead
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Pixeltendo posted:Color Grading Mexico's sky isn't brown and plants there are green you racist fucks. Everything is just desaturated nothing.
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Fight scenes where the heroes are just swinging away at dozens of generic cgi filler baddies while the 'epic battle' between hundreds of even more generic cgi filler baddies goes on behind them.
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Shared cinematic universes.
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EvilJoven posted:Fight scenes where the heroes are just swinging away at dozens of generic cgi filler baddies while the 'epic battle' between hundreds of even more generic cgi filler baddies goes on behind them.
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Fight scenes composed entirely of sub one second cuts. Hire some athletic actors to play action heroes.
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gaj70 posted:Fight scenes composed entirely of sub one second cuts. Hire some athletic actors to play action heroes.
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on the flip side, if i were president of hollywood and could mandate one thing in every movie it would be an end credits gag reel. think of the potential. parasite gag reel. the godfather gag reel. mamma mia here we go again gag reel. to answer the actual question it'd probably be the "protagonist's lie gets revealed at the end of the second act" thing
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gaj70 posted:Fight scenes composed entirely of sub one second cuts. Hire some athletic actors to play action heroes. The sad truth is that all the 'big-name' action stars either moved away from the genre or become too old to keep it up as times changed. The sub-one-second cuts mask the fact that these sub-par directors and editors are working with unfit dudes who are not really healthy enough to do fake karate for hours at a time. They can either hire Seagal and get his audience, or hire a nobody and miss out. It's a bleak sub-industry to be in.
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well why not posted:The sad truth is that all the 'big-name' action stars either moved away from the genre or become too old to keep it up as times changed. wild idea incoming... make new stars by putting out new stories with young actors and killer scripts and stuntwork
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the old DVD men don't want new stars
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Half of this thread is just reinventing Dogme 95. As for me, I would ban "using out-of-place music for fight scenes". Shaun of the Dead did it and that was more than enough to last a decade, now it seems every other movie has a scene where a dude gets his brains bashed out to an Avril Lavigne song
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mutantIke posted:Half of this thread is just reinventing Dogme 95. As for me, I would ban "using out-of-place music for fight scenes". Shaun of the Dead did it and that was more than enough to last a decade, now it seems every other movie has a scene where a dude gets his brains bashed out to an Avril Lavigne song I wouldn’t go as far as to ban it, but I’d make directors have to justify it in writing for each scene.
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just ban non-diegetic music. Do it like Woman at War (2018) if you really need an orchestral score
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Enough with the dang oners already, it was impressive when Spielberg and Scorsese did it, now it’s just meaningless wankery. As President I’m putting a 20 year moratorium on unbroken shots with a moving camera longer than 15 seconds.
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would you make an exception for One Take Movies or are they the ultimate enemy
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I will allow one single take feature length film to be released during the 20 year period, but if it sucks then I extend the moratorium another 20 years.
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I feel like no more oners stitched together from multiple shots or with CGI enhancements would be a good compromise.
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Okay, I may have thrown the baby out with the bathwater a bit there. I guess my real pet peeve is the obvious foreground wipes or CGI stuff as you mentioned.
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I'd ban JJ Abrams and all his inspired copycats/alumni, that would fix about half of Hollywood
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I still love the hide-the-transition-in-the-whip-pan gag, though. :-P
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Bargearse posted:Shared cinematic universes. You're messing up Godzilla.
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Jenny Agutter posted:just ban non-diegetic music. Do it like Woman at War (2018) if you really need an orchestral score God no. Film/TV scores are the only place we are getting new great orchestral and electronic music at this point.
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# ? Jun 11, 2024 09:52 |
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Shrecknet posted:hear me out.... But that's the thing: The studios really aren't interested in creating and promoting stars anymore, because stars make creative demands while brands can't. Why put money into building an action star with bankable physical skills or presence up when you can have some wage slaves animate a CGI cartoon character who won't object to the twentieth round of script revisions?
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